Introverts and extroverts

Tigerandahalf

Very good thread. As others have said there is a difference between being introverted and shyness. Then you have social phobia and fear of being judged. Brent Pope has spoken very well lately on his anxieties and others have too. Pope wouldn't be shy but had a fear of being judged. He can speak in front of an audience.
I read an article the other day about the former TD Liz McManus who has a new partner but they live in separate houses. It is a great thing to be able to sit down with someone and just be comfortable in the silence while doing your own thing.

bb1234567

Tigerandahalf wrote: »

Very good thread. As others have said there is a difference between being introverted and shyness. Then you have social phobia and fear of being judged. Brent Pope has spoken very well lately on his anxieties and others have too. Pope wouldn't be shy but had a fear of being judged. He can speak in front of an audience.
I read an article the other day about the former TD Liz McManus who has a new partner but they live in separate houses. It is a great thing to be able to sit down with someone and just be comfortable in the silence while doing your own thing.

This. To the poster asking me if I want a relationship, I wouldn't mind this. I could live with a girl who's introverted like me,and doesn't speak for the sake of filling silence.

FTA69

So what do you do at the weekends then when you don't speak to anyone for three days? Sorry if I'm prying, I just find this fascinating.

bb1234567

FTA69 wrote: »

So what do you do at the weekends then when you don't speak to anyone for three days? Sorry if I'm prying, I just find this fascinating.

Nah I speak to people a lot at the weekends! My family are around, we go see other family, friends ask me out, I got to clubs, I exercise, catch up on studies etc. I don't keep to myself for the weekends, I was just saying that the other poster talking about his weekend where he didn't talk to anyone sounded rather lovely to me. But I wouldn't do it because I know its frowned upon by most people and I would be considered a weird hermit.
Also if I tried to not socialise for the whole weekend and tried to stay in my room all the time my mother would make me go out and see my friends. She's very extroverted and would just think Im being a moody brat.

Gongoozler

Definitely introverted.

There's a new girl at work, and she's pretty glued to me the last 3 & 1/2 days. She's lovely and I have to train her, but it's uncomfortable for me. I need my space! it makes me irritable and I feel tired from it.

I don't just feel it from people though, if there's a TV a while around me I'll feel the need to turn it off or get away. I need sufficient comfortable clear brain time.

sbsquarepants

I'm a bit of a dolly mixture. I don't particularly like large groups or being the centre of attention, I like going to parties but not throwing them, I like being alone sometimes but I also like company, I wouldn't be shy in any way. I wouldn't find it hard to talk to strangers or meet new people and am quite happy to wander about in my nude and whatnot.
I'm a fúcking oddball - that's what I am.
But I like it that way.:D

Everlong1

Like an earlier poster, I was all bubbly and outgoing as a child, then I went to school and had it bullied out of me. So I became withdrawn and introverted. Then as I got older I had to put up with gob*****s annoying me because I wasn't yapping constantly and shouting and roaring and having the craic.

You can't fuc*ing win, especially in this country where talking shi*e is lauded as one of our great characteristics. "Ah, the lovely friendly Irish, always up for the craic and the chat."

biZrb

I'm very much an introvert. I also think the idea of spending the weekend alone sounds great.

I'm involved in a sport that train on the weekend mornings, they are a very noisy extroverted lot, when I get home I'm perfectly content to spend the rest of the day completely alone as being around them really tires me out. I have hobbies that involve no interaction with people so I'm kept busy doing things, just on my own. I'm not a hermit either, I love going out, just not all the time.

Robsweezie

I think it's about striking a balance, between a healthy amount of social and lone time. no man is an island and we all need each other for validation, and too much Isolation is damaging somewhat because you're not growing as a person. sometime you need that second opinion when making a decision, or an ear to listen to your personal crap. so engaging with each other is important. nothing wrong introversion, so long as it's not plunging you into an unhealthy amount of social avoidance and anxiety.

Fat Christy

Bit of both, like meeting new people but I also like being on my own and doing things alone.

ToddyDoody

Robsweezie wrote: »

which side does your personality fall under? a bit of both, perhaps an ambivert (me)?? does it affect your lifestyle in any way??

The term is centrovert (from some nut job pseudo psychologist)

I'm an introvert. The amount of bollox that extraverts come out with, in what should be serious situations, to me, is nothing short of amazing.

But I suppose its sometimes nice to have a bit of activity about and to have people making noise.

pauliebdub

I'm very introverted, INTJ personality type. I like people to a degree but only certain kinds of people, usually smart academic types, despise small talk and mindless babble. I'm not shy at all, would have no problems visiting a nudist beach and can be very forthright with my opinions which often alienate people.

Being introverted is very beneficial to the job I do.

Paramite Pie

fryup wrote: »

introvert and proud of it

hate people most of them are assholes

No, their not. You just don't understand them. People who think most people are assholes are just the people who fail to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them.

StewartGriffin wrote: »

I Understand. I read somewhere that Introverts GIVE energy during social interactions, while extroverts ABSORB energy. Not usually into that sort of "vibe" thing, but it might explain why introverts feel exhausted after a few hours with people. While the extrovert feels re-energised.

The feckers are stealing our energy.

Introverts seem socially inert so how can they give energy?? They like don't do anything??

MRnotlob606

I am a bit of a social retard to be honest. I can make people laugh in large groups but I have difficulty initiating casual conversation. Bit of a goof tbh.

Littlekittylou

Prob more on the introverted side.:)

Sephiroth_dude

I am introverted, dont like being out with large groups of people ,prefer just 2 or 3 people max , social situation drain me so I try and avoid them like the plague and I like to do things on my own/like my own space etc not very good at small talk unless I'm comfortable around the person.

Frito

I would tend towards introversion. I prefer to mull things over than talk things through, I enjoy other peoples' company but it tires me out. I'm not reclusive by any means (although I was as a child), I don't shun social interaction and prolonged isolation would be detrimental. But I need time to myself daily, about five or six hours on my own, to do my own thing, and even being around other people would be irritating and tiring.

dd972

Why do most extroverts seem to have loud voices, they don't seem to be putting any more effort into their speech than us introverts do so can't believe it's lack of self-consciousness which most people put it down to. It just seems to come out loud with little or no effort.

BetterThanThou

I'm definitely an extrovert, I can barely occupy myself alone, I may be able to occupy myself for an hour or two if I find something to watch I'm particularly interested in, or if I have a "cigarette". Other than that, I'm always insanely bored unless I'm with people. I even hate activities like going to the cinema with friends, Because I'd much rather we be socializing than ignoring each other and watching a movie. I also feel I have particularly good social skills, and find it very easy to make friends. Though, I do wish I had some more introverted qualities, as with my extroverted personality, my happiness is very much in the hands of my friends, as I become extremely unhappy if I haven't socialized for a few days and really can't do anything about that.

Frito

dd972 wrote: »

Why do most extroverts seem to have loud voices, they don't seem to be putting any more effort into their speech than us introverts do so can't believe it's lack of self-consciousness which most people put it down to. It just seems to come out loud with little or no effort.

And they talk more. Sooooo much more! I lived with an extravert; anything she thought, she spoke.

bb1234567

BetterThanThou wrote: »

I'm definitely an extrovert, I can barely occupy myself alone, I may be able to occupy myself for an hour or two if I find something to watch I'm particularly interested in, or if I have a "cigarette". Other than that, I'm always insanely bored unless I'm with people. I even hate activities like going to the cinema with friends, Because I'd much rather we be socializing than ignoring each other and watching a movie. I also feel I have particularly good social skills, and find it very easy to make friends. Though, I do wish I had some more introverted qualities, as with my extroverted personality, my happiness is very much in the hands of my friends, as I become extremely unhappy if I haven't socialized for a few days and really can't do anything about that.

God that sounds like such high maintenance...I guess introversion has its perks lol I could go 2/3 weeks during the summer holidays without seeing any of my friends and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest

GTX 780

I'm an introvert anyway.

I could go a few months without seeing my friends and it wouldn't phase me at all. I'd rather stay in most weekends, rather than wasting my money on watered-down sh!te.

You see, the thing that I find about a lot extroverts is, that they can't seem to comprehend how anyone can stay alone for more than a few days without talking to someone. I also find a lot of them find it hard to believe that a human can be happy living alone for large periods/all of their life. - Which leads to futile preaching.

I'm the type of person that could live the rest of my life alone, and still be one of the happiest people alive.

Maximus Alexander

I dunno, none of the above. More like a bipolavert.

Lollipops23

Depends, I'm more than happy in my own company but will also talk to strangers without issue. Never had a problem doing presentations in college or talking in front of crowds etc.

But more than happy to chill on my own for a full day.

B_Wayne

I prefer spending time on my own. Like bb, I could go ages without seeing friends. I avoid doing team sports as I prefer my own company. But I'm exceedingly fit regardless of this. Social situations are emotionally draining for me so I wouldn't do it as much as others.

mickstupp

I think what annoys me is the blanket assumption that there's something wrong with you if you'd rather be alone. That it's not healthy. Presumably all those people would prefer that I put myself in a highly stressful and anxiety-inducing environment (i.e. anything with other humans) just to prove that I'm 'healthy' in their view. Not sure why I should be suffering just to fit in with other people's ideas of what's normal.

Maximus Alexander

mickstupp wrote: »

I think what annoys me is the blanket assumption that there's something wrong with you if you'd rather be alone. That it's not healthy. Presumably all those people would prefer that I put myself in a highly stressful and anxiety-inducing environment (i.e. anything with other humans) just to prove that I'm 'healthy' in their view. Not sure why I should be suffering just to fit in with other people's ideas of what's normal.

He seemed like a nice guy, quiet. Kept to himself, mostly.

StewartGriffin

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

He seemed like a nice guy, quiet. Kept to himself, mostly.

Interesting.

I wonder what an Introvert/Extrovert breakdown of serial killers would show?

tomwaterford

StewartGriffin wrote: »

Interesting.

I wonder what an Introvert/Extrovert breakdown of serial killers would show?

AFAIK it was done before...extrovert were miles ahead due to many being very charming/people person!!

HughWotMVIII

Hikikomori would best describe my existence 95% of the time.