Introverts and extroverts

eternal

NachoBusiness wrote: »

When I was young I was a confident extrovert but life turned me into an shy introvert. True story.

All I can think of is Susan Vega's song with the lyric...'it's not your business anyway'.
I think in songs, forgive me.

HalloweenJack

Definitely an introvert, not generally comfortable around people I don't know and generally avoid small talk or pointless conversations, though if you catch me on one of my odd days, I can be quite the opposite.

NeonCookies

StewartGriffin wrote: »

I Understand. I read somewhere that Introverts GIVE energy during social interactions, while extroverts ABSORB energy. Not usually into that sort of "vibe" thing, but it might explain why introverts feel exhausted after a few hours with people. While the extrovert feels re-energised.

The feckers are stealing our energy.

Yea I read that too, that a good way to tell if you are naturally introvert or extrovert is how you feel after prolonged social interactions.

For me, if I've spent a whole day with friends I'll be tired and need time to myself to recharge the next day. I will have loved being with my friends, and had a great time chatting away. Even social situations where I don't know people well are fine, I've no problem getting to know people, so it's not a shyness thing. It purely all just zaps my energy!!

TheBeardedLady

Very simplistic way to view yourself.

Some people seem to be confusing introvertedness with misanthropy, insecurity and shyness.

TheBeardedLady

Corvo wrote: »

As above. Are you an introvert if you stick to yourself, but want to stick everyone else through a wall?

No.

RonanP77

Definitely an introvert, I prefer being on my own or in very small groups of people I know well. I can't handle large groups of people, I just go very quiet and can't wait to get away.

If I could take my immediate family to a remote location and never see any other person again it would suit me perfectly. If I had to go on my own I'd get by fairly happily too. I love running but nearly always do it on my own, normally in forests or parks and at times I know nobody else will be around.

Dravokivich

TheBeardedLady wrote: »

Very simplistic way to view yourself.

Some people seem to be confusing introvertedness with misanthropy, insecurity and shyness.

Well there is a certain amount of shyness associated with being introverted. However I feel someone I know has used it, just to excuse themselves from being isolated and unsociable.

Lyre_Bird

Gannicus wrote: »

I'm on the extrovert side if ambivert.

I like being out in groups and meeting new people and going to new places would tend to mix with a few people and groups. How ever in saying that I do like a bit of time to myself. I go the cinema by myself and I like to recharge my social batteries.

This is interesting! The above describes me pretty well, but I would think of myself as an introvert. Surely anyone who would go to the cinema on their own (me) has to be an introvert?!

I love spending time with others and I definitely get a kick out of it. I like large groups, big social events and meeting new people. But getting some alone time after all that feels like relaxing into a nice hot bath. I also prefer deep conversations to small talk, don't like talking on the phone when others are listening, find it hard to snap into 'talk' mode when I'm really absorbed in something, and like writing things down to get them clear first rather than spouting them straight out. 95% of the time I eat lunch with friends, but those solo lunches now and again feel so damn good.

I do get lonely and need other people for energy after spending too long alone, but too long with others can tire me out too. My boyfriend and my best female friend say I'm an extrovert. My family would class me as an introvert. Who knows eh?

Desolation Of Smug

Gofeckyerselftrovert. Kinda needy, but in a haughty way.

bb1234567

So introverted it hurts. Find conversation physically exhausting no matter who its with. People who talk for the sake of talking drive me up the f*cking wall I swear Ill snap one day. I can add several extra minutes on my journeys to work/activities/college due to taking different routes avoiding people so I don't have to make conversation with them.

Introvert level 100 :cool:

Andrewf20

More introvert than extrovert and more so as I get older. Im happy to be on my own for many hours and have less enthusiasm for nights out these days. When im up for a bit of socialising, ive less tolerance for silence filler conversation and would rather talk of something gritty and interesting than the not-too-infrequent elevator type conversations.

mickstupp

I like that 'Caring for your Introvert' article.
http://m.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/302696/

Aglomerado

mickstupp wrote: »

I like that 'Caring for your Introvert' article.
http://m.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/302696/

I liked that article too - thanks for sharing it! Describes me (an introvert) to a T.

I can be extroverted with people I'm comfortable with (close friends mainly). I will even sing solo in the pub, and comfortably give a presentation in front of 200 people.

But I hate "small talk" and mundane conversations and on the few occasions when I try to make an effort it comes across really stilted, so I hardly bother. So I'm perceived as aloof, reserved and shy at work, which is where I encounter most of the small talk.

AnonoBoy

Not a bellybutton thread.

Frigga_92

I'm an introvert.
I also find it very hard to trust people.
I'm lucky I enjoy my own company.

Captain Chaos

Think I'm an Introvert.

More than once I have finished work on a Friday afternoon, got home. and from about 4pm on Friday afternoon to 6am on Monday morning I don't see or speak to a single person in that time. No texts, emails, nothing. I don't talk to myself either so my voice gets the weekend off too.

Always make sure I do enough shopping during the week so I don't need to go out at all when I want a peaceful weekend.

That healthy, right??

bb1234567

Captain Chaos wrote: »

Think I'm an Introvert.

More than once I have finished work on a Friday afternoon, got home. and from about 4pm on Friday afternoon to 6am on Monday morning I don't see or speak to a single person in that time. No texts, emails, nothing. I don't talk to myself either so my voice gets the weekend off too.

Always make sure I do enough shopping during the week so I don't need to go out at all when I want a peaceful weekend.

That healthy, right??

Sounds like an amazing weekend to me. But of course most people will try to tell us we aren't normal because it sounds like a lonely weekend to them.

take everything

Definitely introverted.
Love living alone.
Mostly do things like swimming and golf which you can do alone.
Value reading/film/music over small talk etc.

Susan Cain's Quiet is a good read.

I turn fairly introverted when something is bothering me. I would prefer to be on my own and not have to talk to someone when I'm feeling sad but then I can come back out of my shell when I'm feeling ok again.

FTA69

Captain Chaos wrote: »

Think I'm an Introvert.

More than once I have finished work on a Friday afternoon, got home. and from about 4pm on Friday afternoon to 6am on Monday morning I don't see or speak to a single person in that time. No texts, emails, nothing. I don't talk to myself either so my voice gets the weekend off too.

Always make sure I do enough shopping during the week so I don't need to go out at all when I want a peaceful weekend.

That healthy, right??

That's utterly brutal to be honest. I can't fathom it. Fair enough, people get a bang from different stuff but at the end of the day; if your free time is spent cooped up in the gaff on your tod interacting with nothing and nobody then that's pretty terrible. Jesus, there's even helplines and charities to try and stop that from happening to the elderly, never mind a presumably young person with opportunity.

Travel, go meet people, draw, exercise, see the world, get drunk with strangers, go to parties, meet a member of the opposite sex, learn a language, go dancing, go wine tasting, go to a gig, get on a bus in India and talk pidgin English b*llocks with an auld one.

There's so much more out there than four walls and a screen.

Hans Bricks

I hate being singled into one category or the other but I'd say more introverted in that I'd spend more time by myself (and prefer it more) than with any friends. We might not see each other for 2 weeks, but all it takes is one suggestion on the whatsapp group to get a night out or an astro turf going.

SMJSF

I'm an introvert, and i've been told I'm an INTJ (Myer Briggs personality test)

anncoates

Generally extroverted but with weird, arbitrary pockets of introversion like hating public speaking or being prone to occasional moments of extreme self consciousness.

Aglomerado

SMJSF wrote: »

I'm an introvert, and i've been told I'm an INTJ (Myer Briggs personality test)

Same type as me more or less, I straddle INTJ/ INTP.

bb1234567

FTA69 wrote: »

That's utterly brutal to be honest. I can't fathom it. Fair enough, people get a bang from different stuff but at the end of the day; if your free time is spent cooped up in the gaff on your tod interacting with nothing and nobody then that's pretty terrible. Jesus, there's even helplines and charities to try and stop that from happening to the elderly, never mind a presumably young person with opportunity.

Travel, go meet people, draw, exercise, see the world, get drunk with strangers, go to parties, meet a member of the opposite sex, learn a language, go dancing, go wine tasting, go to a gig, get on a bus in India and talk pidgin English b*llocks with an auld one.

There's so much more out there than four walls and a screen.

Haha just in my other post I said people will try to tell us we aren't normal.
Do you not understand that some people don't like socialising? Stop trying to 'help' us. There are lovely people out there who I find funny and entertaining, Its not like I hate everyone . I don't mind being with them if I must, i.e. at work or college. But you know what I enjoy more? Being on my own. For some reason extroverted people just cannot seem to understand this concept. i LOVE being on my own.
Im a young person, 19, and for the first time in my life I had the house to my self for a long weekend last week because my family were away. It was pure bliss, I love my family with all my heart but I prefer being on my own than having them around.
And I do socialise a lot, I go out clubbing and to parties weekly. I just do it to be normal, I don't really want to go. Every time without fail I would choose to stay on my own than socialise with other people, no matter who it is, what they're doing or where they're going.

bb1234567

anncoates wrote: »

Generally extroverted but with weird, arbitrary pockets of introversion like hating public speaking or being prone to occasional moments of extreme self consciousness.

Being an introvert has nothing to do with those two things. They're caused by anxiety. Introverted means you enjoy being on your own.

FTA69

bb1234567 wrote: »

Haha just in my other post I said people will try to tell us we aren't normal.
Do you not understand that some people don't like socialising? Stop trying to 'help' us.

I'm not trying to help you per se, I just don't see why people retreat into a comfort bubble of solitude. Out of curiosity, do you ever want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend? It just strikes me as odd that you think something as basic and normal as interacting with friends is a chore and a hassle.

bb1234567

FTA69 wrote: »

I'm not trying to help you per se, I just don't see why people retreat into a comfort bubble of solitude. Out of curiosity, do you ever want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend? It just strikes me as odd that you think something as basic and normal as interacting with friends is a chore and a hassle.

Of course it strikes you as odd, and of course other extroverts feel the same way as you enjoy company. And no not really, I just wouldn't be able to stand being around somebody that much. I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend if we went on dates every so often and talked semi regularly on the phone/texting , but I can't imagine ever wanting to share a home with somebody else honestly. And its not like I can't get one, I get interest from girls both in college and on stuff like tinder. I just don't really have the urge to go out and put so much effort into trying to form a relationship with a girls seeing as I don't want it that badly.

FTA69

bb1234567 wrote: »

Of course it strikes you as odd, and of course other extroverts feel the same way as you enjoy company. And no not really, I just wouldn't be able to stand being around somebody that much. I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend if we went on dates every so often and talked semi regularly on the phone/texting , but I can't imagine ever wanting to share a home with somebody else honestly. And its not like I can't get one, I get interest from girls both in college and on stuff like tinder. I just don't really have the urge to go out and put so much effort into trying to form a relationship with a girls seeing as I don't want it that badly.

So what do you do to have fun then? Do you play any sports for instance?

bb1234567

FTA69 wrote: »

So what do you do to have fun then? Do you play any sports for instance?

I go swimming quite a bit, and go to the gym 3 times a week. And do some home exercises, I like to keep fit. Not much into team sports though, not because of being introverted (or maybe it is?) but yeah I just have no interest in them