Health At Every Size

StormWarrior

Why don't men start a "Big fat men are gorgeous too" campaign. Get James Corden and Sinbad from Brookside to get their shirts off, wobble their man boobs around and see if constant coverage of this can brainwash people into thinking fat men are sexy too. The fat men can bitch about Brad Pitt and Keanu Reeves and how they obviously starve themselves to stay slim.

bb1234567

estudent wrote: »

Different strokes. A girl that's ugly to you might be beautiful to another.

well to an extent..

UCDVet

StormWarrior wrote: »

Why don't men start a "Big fat men are gorgeous too" campaign. Get James Corden and Sinbad from Brookside to get their shirts off, wobble their man boobs around and see if constant coverage of this can brainwash people into thinking fat men are sexy too. The fat men can bitch about Brad Pitt and Keanu Reeves and how they obviously starve themselves to stay slim.

I'd like to think most men aren't stupid enough to believe in it. But these days, who knows?

One eyed Jack

StormWarrior wrote: »

Why don't men start a "Big fat men are gorgeous too" campaign. Get James Corden and Sinbad from Brookside to get their shirts off, wobble their man boobs around and see if constant coverage of this can brainwash people into thinking fat men are sexy too. The fat men can bitch about Brad Pitt and Keanu Reeves and how they obviously starve themselves to stay slim.

Because fat men don't get anywhere near the same amount of vitriol, negative judgment, commentary, etc, etc as their female counterparts, so it's not seen as much as an issue for men, whereas for women, well, suffice to say I'm glad I'm not one with the amount of pressure to conform to idealistic, in fact often unrealistic perceptions.

StormWarrior

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Because fat men don't get anywhere near the same amount of vitriol, negative judgment, commentary, etc, etc as their female counterparts, so it's not seen as much as an issue for men, whereas for women, well, suffice to say I'm glad I'm not one with the amount of pressure to conform to idealistic, in fact often unrealistic perceptions.

I think this whole thing is really overplayed in the media, or maybe it's just in certain social circles because I can't remember a time in my life when I or any female friends have been expected to conform to anything or had our weight or looks commented on or anything like that. From what I can see it's more of a media/facebook/internet phenomenon. I don't know anyone in real life who starves themselves or is obsessed over their looks. Most women are too busy working, trying to keep a roof over their heads, looking after kids and generally living in the real world to spend their live obsessing over their weight. I don't think most women in the real world are sad and pathetic enough to worry so excessively about such things.

StormWarrior

I just watched a bit of the video and I am LOLing at this, "Men have a Y chromosome which explains their aggressive nature and passion for assaulting women".

UCDVet

StormWarrior wrote: »

I think this whole thing is really overplayed in the media, or maybe it's just in certain social circles because I can't remember a time in my life when I or any female friends have been expected to conform to anything or had our weight or looks commented on or anything like that. From what I can see it's more of a media/facebook/internet phenomenon. I don't know anyone in real life who starves themselves or is obsessed over their looks. Most women are too busy working, trying to keep a roof over their heads, looking after kids and generally living in the real world to spend their live obsessing over their weight. I don't think most women in the real world are sad and pathetic enough to worry so excessively about such things.

I've always had a lot of trouble believing this as well. It just doesn't make sense to me. I'm told that society only values attractive women and how important looks are supposed to be for women....and yet, I know so many women who *were* attractive (in a traditional/skinny chick kinda way) who are now fat.

In fact, the whole increasing obesity thing makes it pretty clear that women don't care very much. Doesn't it? Let's assume rational people distribute their time on things based on how important they are - well, if I'm meant to believe that women feel being attractive is SUPER IMPORTANT (because society makes them feel that way) - why do I know so many women who invest no time into being attractive?

To be clear, I'm not judging anyone for their hobbies. Lots of people don't enjoy working out - I don't. I don't do it. I'm fat. I'm cool with that. But I know plenty of women who are just as fat, and continue to eat horrible food and not exercise. Like me, they put no effort into maintaining a their body....how important can it be to them? I know plenty of girls who say, 'Yeah, I wish I had a body like that' - and I understand that. I *wish* I had a body like a lot of men shown shirtless in movies....but I don't want it enough to go on a diet or to work out 6 hours a week. So, the truth is, I don't really want it very much at all.

That's like me saying my stamp collection is the most important thing in my life. Only I don't collect stamps/don't know anything about stamp collecting/can't be arsed to start a stamp collection.

LaVail

The video was made by a reddit troll called berta lovejoy

Dan_Solo

UCDVet wrote: »

That's like me saying my stamp collection is the most important thing in my life. Only I don't collect stamps/don't know anything about stamp collecting/can't be arsed to start a stamp collection.

It's almost as if women themselves think women's magazines are as full of **** as men think they are...

Tarzana2

StormWarrior wrote: »

I don't know anyone in real life who starves themselves or is obsessed over their looks.

Really? :eek: I know plenty.

StormWarrior

Maybe it's a city v country thing. People who live in cities seem to put more effort into being polished and sexy and that sort of thing. People in the country don't bother so much, and if you live in a rural area and walk everywhere you go or have dogs that you take for long walks or horses or whatever you just stay quite slim naturally without having to obsess over it.

Kelly06

StormWarrior wrote: »

Most women are too busy working, trying to keep a roof over their heads, looking after kids and generally living in the real world to spend their live obsessing over their weight. I don't think most women in the real world are sad and pathetic enough to worry so excessively about such things.

Ah you see for me it's the opposite, most (but not all) of the women I know are very very focused on their weight, when it goes up they become distressed and when they drop weight they are elated. They do juice diets, weight watchers slimming world etc and monitor their weight regularly. They all have busy lives, kids, jobs etc but the weight issue is always in the background upsetting them.

Women are women's worst critics. Ye can see it in those vacant "womens " magazines they sell.,, some star or other is amazing for dropping all their baby weight in 7.02 seconds or they are being ripped to shreds for a picture of them looking larger with cellulite running down the beach. Personally I've dropped a couple of stone in the last 18 months and to be truthful the trigger for that was being on a night out for a friends birthday where a bloke who was trying to chat me up ( it wasn't going well for him to me it was just banter) decided to in his own words "tell me some home truths" about myself. He told me I was far too fat for the clothes I was wearing amongst other things. I was a size 12 -14 but was getting bigger. I remember looking at the lights reflecting off his noggin while he was assassinating my appearance and wanting to slag him over it but didn't say a word.It really was a light bulb moment for me and spurred me on to change my lifestyle. Fast forward 18 months and now I'm happy out with how I look. And as for that pass remarkable f*ckwit ... I lost the weight....but his hair ain't never growing back

bb1234567

StormWarrior wrote: »

I think this whole thing is really overplayed in the media, or maybe it's just in certain social circles because I can't remember a time in my life when I or any female friends have been expected to conform to anything or had our weight or looks commented on or anything like that. From what I can see it's more of a media/facebook/internet phenomenon. I don't know anyone in real life who starves themselves or is obsessed over their looks. Most women are too busy working, trying to keep a roof over their heads, looking after kids and generally living in the real world to spend their live obsessing over their weight. I don't think most women in the real world are sad and pathetic enough to worry so excessively about such things.

While I agree with most of what you are saying, there are definitely a lot of women who obsess over their looks. And its kind of insensitive to call people who excessively worry about their looks pathetic as many people do suffer from body dysmorphia and things like that, so they can't help it.

UCDVet

Kelly06 wrote: »

Ah you see for me it's the opposite, most (but not all) of the women I know are very very focused on their weight, when it goes up they become distressed and when they drop weight they are elated. They do juice diets, weight watchers slimming world etc and monitor their weight regularly. They all have busy lives, kids, jobs etc but the weight issue is always in the background upsetting them.

Women are women's worst critics. Ye can see it in those vacant "womens " magazines they sell.,, some star or other is amazing for dropping all their baby weight in 7.02 seconds or they are being ripped to shreds for a picture of them looking larger with cellulite running down the beach. Personally I've dropped a couple of stone in the last 18 months and to be truthful the trigger for that was being on a night out for a friends birthday where a bloke who was trying to chat me up ( it wasn't going well for him to me it was just banter) decided to in his own words "tell me some home truths" about myself. He told me I was far too fat for the clothes I was wearing amongst other things. I was a size 12 -14 but was getting bigger. I remember looking at the lights reflecting off his noggin while he was assassinating my appearance and wanting to slag him over it but didn't say a word.It really was a light bulb moment for me and spurred me on to change my lifestyle. Fast forward 18 months and now I'm happy out with how I look. And as for that pass remarkable f*ckwit ... I lost the weight....but his hair ain't never growing back

I don't want this to come across the wrong - honestly, congratulations. Losing weight is very difficult and you say you are happy with how you look - that's what is important.

But, aren't you really *agreeing* with this guy?

He said you were too fat for what you were wearing. You thought about it, decided he was right, then you lost weight.

One eyed Jack

StormWarrior wrote: »

Maybe it's a city v country thing. People who live in cities seem to put more effort into being polished and sexy and that sort of thing. People in the country don't bother so much, and if you live in a rural area and walk everywhere you go or have dogs that you take for long walks or horses or whatever you just stay quite slim naturally without having to obsess over it.

Dear God, I just had the most horrible realisation thanks to the above post! :pac:

I was thinking about all the women I've known and how your post related to them, and then I realised that when I was growing up in the country, my mother would always have a slap of the oil of ulay and the ruby lipstick, and always took care of her appearance despite being a teacher and mum to seven children and keeping a tidy house and all the other stuff associated with growing up in the country.

But here's the weird bit - ever since my old man died about ten years back, she's no longer just satisfied with the oil of ulay and lippy regime that she had for forty odd years; she's upped her game into all out glamour granny mode, and this is a woman in her 80's! :eek: :pac:

Tarzana2

StormWarrior wrote: »

Maybe it's a city v country thing.

Not really. Live in a city, grew up in the country, there's honestly no difference.

Kelly06

UCDVet wrote: »

I don't want this to come across the wrong - honestly, congratulations. Losing weight is very difficult and you say you are happy with how you look - that's what is important.

But, aren't you really *agreeing* with this guy?

He said you were too fat for what you were wearing. You thought about it, decided he was right, then you lost weight.

Your right in a way of course but A size 12 is not really fat, I wasn't thin but you wouldn't have described me as obese or unhealthy either. I had gotten into a rut and because of difficulties in my personal life I was baking all the pies and eating them too! I was comforting myself with food.

I didn't need him to tell me that I wasnt a size 8 I could see that myself. He wasn't a friend or a partner he had no right to ruin a random strangers night out and reduce them to tears just for the fun of it! The size of my ass was of no consequence to him. It was the trigger to loose the weight alright but I would have gotten round to it myself I could see the numbers clocking up on the scales!

Wibbs

bb1234567 wrote: »

Despite cultural differences, humans in general find a number of physical characteristics universally attractive. And numerous studies across different nations, races, religions and ethnic and age groups have shown this.

Not quite, certainly not with regard to women's weight. Some cultures go for extremes at either end of the weight spectrum, but within the spectrum there is quite the variability in cultural ideals in women's weight. We see it in western culture over time. The ideal of the 1920's was different to the ideal of the 1950's and the 1960's and so on. A top catwalk model of 1940 wouldn't get a look in today. What has been found as a consistent thing is the hourglass hip waist ratio. A ratio shared with Kate Moss, Marilyn Monroe, Botticelli/Ingres/Rubens various venus', Greek statues, even the massively corpulent paleolithic sculptures. All of the above examples are different, sometimes very different sizes and weights. The cultural ideal for the female form is incredibly malleable over time and place. The male is far less so, though as you point out height is a consistent trait* as is face and body symmetry.





*Funny enough wide shoulders aren't so much. In different periods of history narrow sloping shoulders were "in" for men. Well built can vary too. In some cultures very thin men are the ideal, in others men with big bellies are the ideal.

goose2005

Paddy Cow wrote: »

It's satire about how a portion of obese people are making excuses for being overweight and putting down slimmer women to make themselves feel better. I think it's brilliant. She's not far off the mark either. If I hear/read once more "real women have curves", I think I'll explode. ALL women are real ffs.

Also, all women have curves. I've not seen a woman whose body was made of polygons since Tomb Raider 1.

Wibbs

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Not really. Live in a city, grew up in the country, there's honestly no difference.

+1. The only difference would be that a city has a much higher population so has more of both women(and men) approaching the cultural ideal and those who are deemed outside it. So yes you will see more beautiful people in a cityscape, simply because there are more people and selection bias comes into it.

Kelly06 wrote: »

I didn't need him to tell me that I wasnt a size 8 I could see that myself. He wasn't a friend or a partner he had no right to ruin a random strangers night out and reduce them to tears just for the fun of it! The size of my ass was of no consequence to him.

That I just can't bloody believe K. I mean WTF? Why would he or anyone decide to talk with a complete stranger like that? Of course I seriously doubt he'd say the same to a fat man who towered over him. Far more consequences involved. And what the hell was he hoping to achieve? You'd bang him after that? Da fuq. Gobshítes like that need working over by their peers early on, to knock the stupid edges off them.

Kelly06

One eyed Jack wrote: »

But here's the weird bit - ever since my old man died about ten years back, she's no longer just satisfied with the oil of ulay and lippy regime that she had for forty odd years; she's upped her game into all out glamour granny mode, and this is a woman in her 80's! :eek: :pac:

Id be keeping the beady eye on her she's could be looking to pic up some fresh faced sixty something to disinherit you all the harlet!!

small town girl

OP - you'd be better served asking the actual question you want to ask...

I'm guessing either (a) you're overweight and want to know if there are people here who find that attractive, or (b) you're attracted to overweight people and are looking for that to be validated here?

UCDVet

Kelly06 wrote: »

Your right in a way of course but A size 12 is not really fat, I wasn't thin but you wouldn't have described me as obese or unhealthy either. I had gotten into a rut and because of difficulties in my personal life I was baking all the pies and eating them too! I was comforting myself with food.

I didn't need him to tell me that I wasnt a size 8 I could see that myself. He wasn't a friend or a partner he had no right to ruin a random strangers night out and reduce them to tears just for the fun of it! The size of my ass was of no consequence to him. It was the trigger to loose the weight alright but I would have gotten round to it myself I could see the numbers clocking up on the scales!

Well, I think we can all agree that, at any size - you're better off without a guy who is either that stupid or that rude.

Tarzana2

Kelly06 wrote: »

Your right in a way of course but A size 12 is not really fat, I wasn't thin but you wouldn't have described me as obese or unhealthy either.

You were only size 12 and he was talking this shíte to you? :eek:

As you said, his hair ain't growing back.

Kelly06

Wibbs wrote: »

That I just can't bloody believe K. I mean WTF? Why would he or anyone decide to talk with a complete stranger like that? Of course I seriously doubt he'd say the same to a fat man who towered over him. Far more consequences involved. And what the hell was he hoping to achieve? You'd bang him after that? Da fuq. Gobshítes like that need working over by their peers early on, to knock the stupid edges off them.

Ye see he was looking to chat me up. So obviously he was attracted to me, he approached me sitting on my own of his own accord.He was a soldier in the British army a paratrooper to be exact. I was telling him about a friend of mine who also joined the Brits when he lost his job in the recession.

When I wasn't bowled over by his bravery and manliness he didn't like it. He had told me he had a psychology degree so when he said he was going to tell me home truths about myself I was expecting him to critique me personality wise and was genuinely interested to hear what he would say.

It was kind of a playground situation ...you know when a boy likes a girl he will pull her hair and be mean to her. It was just the grown up version of that! I wasn't bowled over by his macho ness and the fact that he flung himself out of airplanes for a living so he decided to make me feel sh1t about myself instead!

Kelly06

Tarzana2 wrote: »

You were only size 12 and he was talking this shíte to you? :eek:

As you said, his hair ain't growing back.

Yeah but I'm 5'2" I was definitely on my way to tubby town ha, the size 12's were getting tight and I was starting to move into the 14's. It's a slippery slope from there really. A woman of 5'7 and size 12 could look really thin but at my height even a half stone is very noticible !

Tarzana2

Sometimes you do take advice from unlikely places though.

I once took fashion advice from a skanger.

I've medium to large size boobies. I was walking down the street one day wearing a delightful, mushroom coloured, high necked, roll neck jumped that was a bit on the baggy side.

This young gentleman helpfully informed me as he walked by me that I looked saggy of tit. Once the mortification passed, the jumper was relegated to being worn when doing housework. :pac: I kinda already knew it was an awful jumper but I got a nice little nudge that day.

Venus In Furs

That guy in the bar - crikey! Although talking about his hair-loss is heading down to his level. And baldness isn't something that can be controlled.
But still though, size 12-14 (for those not in the know, it's not thin but it's not even close to big) and he's talking to you as if you're hugely overweight? And he's a stranger? What the utter fuq?!
Love the "home truths" thing - this is like what's being discussed on the threads about "telling it as it is"; people thinking because they use terms like "Home truths" it's ok for them to be a ****. I wonder was he doing that PUA "negging" bullsh-t.

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

Also seems like an attempt to sort of level the 'playing field' in dating. Even though it's easier, and better for lots of reasons, to just lose the weight these women desperately try to change people's perceptions on what's considered typically attractive. It's hilarious because not only is it not needed, as there are lots of people into fat men/women, but it's so easily seen through and mocked by a lot of people. A good example is how misused the term 'curvy' has become in the last few years and also when people talk about "meat on bones" when speaking about fat - fat is not meat, muscle is.

It's definitely not easier to lose stones and stones in weight than for a person to delude themselves that they're beautiful and everyone else is the problem.
Agreed otherwise though. Often the line "Women are harder on each other than men ever could be" is just used as a way of mitigating when men are hostile towards women, but I do think in this case it is hugely women themselves who put pressure on women to be slim. The magazines example is a perfect one.

Here's a link to an absolutely amazing thread where OP was over 600lbs and the forum members motivated him to start making a change when he had given up. He's since lost ~300lbs and is working harder than ever and also learning to cook nice and healthy meals that stick to his caloric needs to keep up the weight loss. The forum members all donated to get him a new couch as one of them worked at a store near him, and they've also helped pay for food some weeks and also helped get him on life insurance. His mother even made a video thanking them for saving her son's life!

This guy was a perfect example of someone who one would assume had some medical condition inhibiting weight loss or that it was impossible to do, but he's proven that's definitely not how it is in his case. It's also motivating because of how the community came through and helped him so much even when the forum is mostly a cesspit of trolls.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=160565211

That's a really cool story ("brah" :pac: - they're ****ing obsessed with that stupid word on that forum!) Yeh the guy was just overweight from eating too much and not exercising; it doesn't have to be an illness. There could have been a psychological component though. Lots of people who are emotionally healthy can put on a few lbs but I reckon you'd have to hate yourself to do the level of damage he did.
And yes, that forum has some utterly vile posters, so it is heartening to see another side to it.

StormWarrior wrote: »

I just watched a bit of the video and I am LOLing at this, "Men have a Y chromosome which explains their aggressive nature and passion for assaulting women".

It's a piss-take though.

UCDVet

Kelly06 wrote: »

Ye see he was looking to chat me up. So obviously he was attracted to me, he approached me sitting on my own of his own accord.He was a soldier in the British army a paratrooper to be exact. I was telling him about a friend of mine who also joined the Brits when he lost his job in the recession.

When I wasn't bowled over by his bravery and manliness he didn't like it. He had told me he had a psychology degree so when he said he was going to tell me home truths about myself I was expecting him to critique me personality wise and was genuinely interested to hear what he would say.

It was kind of a playground situation ...you know when a boy likes a girl he will pull her hair and be mean to her. It was just the grown up version of that! I wasn't bowled over by his macho ness and the fact that he flung himself out of airplanes for a living so he decided to make me feel sh1t about myself instead!

This is completely off-topic, but I knew a guy who HONESTLY believed stuff like that would work in his favor. The guy was a compulsive liar so I don't really know how successful or unsuccessful he actually was, but he'd hit on women, and if it wasn't going well, he'd insult them in a friendly way. Kind of like a, 'Hey, come'on - you aren't going to do any better than me!'

I thought it sounded disgusting, but he swore by it.

Venus In Furs

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Sometimes you do take advice from unlikely places though.

I once took fashion advice from a skanger.

I've medium to large size boobies. I was walking down the street one day wearing a delightful, mushroom coloured, high necked, roll neck jumped that was a bit on the baggy side.

This young gentleman helpfully informed me as he walked by me that I looked saggy of tit. Once the mortification passed, the jumper was relegated to being worn when doing housework. :pac: I kinda already knew it was an awful jumper but I got a nice little nudge that day.

While I don't endorse using such coarse language, I would agree with not hiding your magnificent boobage under a polo-neck - instead, wear v-necks to emphasise and complement your cleavage in its glory. Not really low-cut tops, just v-necks. That's just mean in general btw, not specifically you. :pac: