Most embarrassing thing you've done on a plane?

SameDiff

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

I agree but I always found Easyjet cabin crew a really good laugh.

I use to fly over to Belfast on the first flight over and come back on the last flight, twice a month.

One time just before it began its decent into Luton a female steward was going down the cabin with a black bag collecting rubbish.

One of the cabin crew lads got on the pa and said:

"Janeane will be coming down the aisle if you can have your cups, newspapers, and rubbish ready."
A little while later
"Any of you lads like to jot down your phone numbers, Janeane will be grateful."
Shrieks from all the cabin crew, all passengers laughing. Janeane bright red.
"All you married men too. Give your numbers in Janeane will be grateful."

Whole plane in laughter.

Now this could have been taken as the most non-pc piece of hazing, but I don't think it was. I got the impression that the next time Janeane was on the pa she would be ripping the sh/t out of her male colleague just as well.

In the hundreds of times of doing that flight, thats pretty much the only one I remember.

Jaysis that's hilarious.....thank Christ I wasn't on that plane. My sides would have been splitting with hilarious "gags" like that.

SameDiff

Yeah_Right wrote: »

Returning from a trip away with a few mates. We were all very hungover. One of the lads went to use the toilet and while taking a dump he had to throw up. So he tried to squat over the toilet seat while puking between his legs. Massive fail. He ended up with vomit and ****e all over the cubicle and himself. tried to clean it up but couldn't. He stank for the rest of the flight ( another 4 + hours) and they closed that toilet cubicle.

ever since then he has had the nickname Smelly.

Wow, who thought of the nickname? They sound like a right laugh, your mates!

Kermit.de.frog

We hit a little turbulence. I shouted out "there is something on the wing! - some thing!"

Some screamed.

SameDiff

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

We hit a little turbulence. I shouted out "there is something on the wing! - some thing!"

Some screamed.

Just true stories here please.

Sunnyisland

SameDiff wrote: »

Jaysis that's hilarious.....thank Christ I wasn't on that plane. My sides would have been splitting with hilarious "gags" like that.

SameDiff wrote: »

Wow, who thought of the nickname? They sound like a right laugh, your mates!

SameDiff wrote: »

Just true stories here please.

Who are you ?

Michael o Leary .

Steve F

ringadingding wrote: »

I boarded a flight at Heathrow, about an hour after having my last pint of a 16hr drink n drug binge.
Was in a heap, just kept my focus on getting onto the plane, finally got on, took my seat and zonked.
Till what seemed like hours later the stewardess poked me and woke me up, as I woke i did the loudest thundering fart known to mankind.
I thought the plane had landed, and got up to disembark... Everybody was staring at me
Turns out the plane hadnt even taken off yet but my snoring was too loud.

The come down was fair full of paranoia, I didnt dare nod off again, or ask for water, and held in a pîss for 3 hours.

Torture

This...THIS has to be probably the funniest post I've ever read on AH..Freaking hilarious.Just wish I'd been on that flight,I would have cracked up :pac:

bear1

SameDiff wrote: »

Jaysis that's hilarious.....thank Christ I wasn't on that plane. My sides would have been splitting with hilarious "gags" like that.

SameDiff wrote: »

Wow, who thought of the nickname? They sound like a right laugh, your mates!

SameDiff wrote: »

Just true stories here please.

Here's another one. Do you have a story to share?

SameDiff

bear1 wrote: »

Here's another one. Do you have a story to share?

I've loads of unfunny ones, or I could make one up?

bear1

SameDiff wrote: »

I've loads of unfunny ones, or I could make one up?

As long as you don't act the dick I don't really care.

RoboRat

I have a habit of falling asleep on airplanes, buses, trains etc - I think its the motion that just knocks me out. The only problem is that I always have this falling feeling and I jump up with a yelp - this has happened to me countless times on flights and even got so bad that the regular bus users on my commute would rather stand than have me scare the ****e out of them when I yelp.

fleet_admiral

SuperS54 wrote: »

On a long haul with multiple connections, had been a few delays along the way, last flight was from Frankfurt to Heathrow. Boarded early and settled into a window seat in PE. Waiting as passengers boarded when I notice the hum, hours of sitting in planes had long ago overcome my lynx and we were in bad territory when I could smell myself! Seat beside me was empty so decided to put up with the smell...of course the last person to board the plane is a very pleasant looking German lass and she sits in the empty seat beside me, panic stations! Door closes and crew are preparing the cabin as quickly possible for takeoff, made a dash for the toilets before they were locked, quick scan of materials...soap, water and tissue available but time was short, then I spotted the alcohol wipes (later realized these were for disinfecting the toilet seat), perfect, quick wipe and I should be good to go! Gave the armpits a generous scrub and finished just as the airhostess knocked on the door. Quickly returned to my seat and buckled up, exchanged a nice smile with the attractive fräulein and we're good to go. And then the pain. Oh the pain. Scrubbing your open underarm pores with industrial alcohol is really not a good idea. Had to adopt a threatened turkey like stance, arms akimbo and as discretely as possible fan my armpits all the way through taxi and takeoff, face red and sweaty...Attractive fräulein inquires as to my health several times, assure her I'm fine through gritted teeth. The second the seatbelt light goes out I'm out of the seat and back in the toilet, scrubbing armpits with lovely cool wet paper towels. Happily make my way back to my seat and give attractive fräulein a nice smile, get a somewhat subdued response and no more conversation for the rest of the flight, she must have thought I was either constipated, had the runs or some sort of mental impairment!

She didnt give you eastern bloc did she?

chakotha

My first time on a plane was on a school tour to Germany aged 16. As soon as the seat belt lights went out I popped to the loo for a sneaky cigarette.

Little did I know that the loos were non smoking and the smoke alarm went off and the cabin crew were pounding on the door before overriding the lock and opening the door while I was trying to stub out the cig. No teachers noticed though and I got back to my seat red faced but not busted.

I am pie

SameDiff wrote: »

I've loads of unfunny ones, or I could make one up?

Do you wanna hug this out? Cat p!ss in your cornflakes?

duckmusic

Not exactly me but... I was in Belgium with a couple of friends on a lads weekend away. Lots of Belgian beer consumed and we had been up all night drinking the night before our flight. One of the friends I was with got a bad dose of the scutters on the way home and as soon as the plane had left the ground he jumped out of his seat and starting sprinting up the middle of the plane towards the toilet at the top. The flight attendant (a young attractive blond lady) didn't know what was wrong and tried to tackle him! After an awkward exchange and him explaining what was wrong she told him he could't go until the seatbelt lights went off. My friend was in such a bad way he decided that rather than go back to his seat he would sit beside the Air-hostess on the little fold down chairs they have so that he would be closer to the tolet. Only now he was now facing the entire cabin you had just watched the everything happen... I remember looking up and seeing the look of pain in his face as he was trying to hold it in :eek: He was looking down the plane at us who (still drunk) were rolling around laughing at the whole thing. After about 3 - 4 minutes the seatbelt light went off and he ran into the toilet. The rest of the passengers realised what was going on at that point and there was a real sense of relief from everyone. I can only assume they all thought there was some sort attempt at taking the plane! Very embarrassing for the poor guy.

SameDiff

bear1 wrote: »

As long as you don't act the dick I don't really care.

In my case it would just be acting.

dutopia

On one long haul flight while everyone was eating I was watching a movie on my iPad when this sex scene came on unexpectedly, I fumbled around and the app ended up freezing with this girl's arse clearly visible just as the hostess was giving me my meal, she looked unimpressed and the two people either side of me were sniggering. I was red faced for the rest of the flight.

Egginacup

Was on a "dry" flight, i.e. no alcohol, on Royal Moroccan Airlines. Girlfriend had just siphoned a naggin of gin into a large half full bottle of tonic. I stealthily undid the wire around the cork of a bottle of duty free prosecco I had in my hand luggage....then

BOOM!! cork flies out and prosecco sprays out all over the gaff. Girlfriend drops the tonic bottle and it fizzes all over the place.

The fucking reek of booze, the yells from the cabin crew, the horror!

Galway K9

Kevin McCloud wrote: »

Hit the call button instead of the light

We kept doing that to someone ahead of us, the stewardess kept coming down and he said "i didnt call you" and stewardess pointing at the call light being on. We were 14 ...fun times.

The other fella

*Neil Prendeville reference*

J Mysterio

Egginacup wrote: »

Was on a "dry" flight, i.e. no alcohol, on Royal Moroccan Airlines. Girlfriend had just siphoned a naggin of gin into a large half full bottle of tonic. I stealthily undid the wire around the cork of a bottle of duty free prosecco I had in my hand luggage....then

BOOM!! cork flies out and prosecco sprays out all over the gaff. Girlfriend drops the tonic bottle and it fizzes all over the place.

The fucking reek of booze, the yells from the cabin crew, the horror!

Ahahaha :pac:

Sunnyisland

Just today,

Not me but a young chap running up through the people to arrivals lounge where his girlfriend is waiting,

He running pretty fast,everybody looking at him, he sees the girlfriend and still running gives her a big hug and bam the two of them hit the floor and noise from her head could be heard around the hall, lots go over and help them up with the girl looking pretty dazed, then just look around,smile and hug each other again,

Suppose you had to be there .

smurgen

Fell asleep on a strange mans shoulder and he must have pushed me head off because it flopped to the other side and I jumped like I got a shock!he was scowling at me and this was like two hours into a 13 hour flight.

Rotunda Shill

Can remember offering a meal tip to an air hostess shortly after take off on a cross Atlantic Pan Am flight in the 80's felt embarrassed for the rest of the flight. It was my first transatlantic flight and I thought that was the thing to do.

JackMcA

sat down and called 2 air hostesses over and was giving out to them because water was leaking from the airconditioning.
they got all of the crew involved and were not taking off until the problem was resolved and people including myself were getting pissed off at them and shouting abuse.
they then opened the overhead luggage are and found a bag with a bottle of water on the side of it.
it was my water

J Mysterio

:pac:

Frynge

JackMcA wrote: »

sat down and called 2 air hostesses over and was giving out to them because water was leaking from the airconditioning.
they got all of the crew involved and were not taking off until the problem was resolved and people including myself were getting pissed off at them and shouting abuse.
they then opened the overhead luggage are and found a bag with a bottle of water on the side of it.
it was my water

Please tell us you sincerly apologized.

osarusan

JackMcA wrote: »

sat down and called 2 air hostesses over and was giving out to them because water was leaking from the airconditioning.
they got all of the crew involved and were not taking off until the problem was resolved and people including myself were getting pissed off at them and shouting abuse.
they then opened the overhead luggage are and found a bag with a bottle of water on the side of it.
it was my water

If that's true, I'd love to have been there to see it. I'm cracking up imagining it.

JackMcA

Frynge wrote: »

Please tell us you sincerly apologized.

Pretty much had to sit in shame

Magico Gonzalez

Shoved two litre bottles of belgian beer into the overhead locker, was travelling with my boss back from meetings over there. Fairly heavy bottles in those presentation cases you get in the airport duty free. Locker was totally full...had to shove them in, the boss said to me "listen Magico, that locker is going to pop open, it's too full, put them somewhere elsse"

No way, all good I told him.

During take off, the locker pops open, the only reason the guy in front didnt get brained by two litre bottles of beer in their tin presentation cases was the fact that we were taking off. The tilt of the plane and gravity ensured both bottles bounced off the headrest, onto my chest/chin and eventually onto the floor.

Once the seatbelt sign went off I had to deal with the boss giving out to me, the poor guy in front given it sticks in flemish in front and the filthy looks from the cabin crew as I had to get down on the floor and pull the bottles out from under my seat and go looking for somewhere safer to store them.

Longest short flight of my life.

fergie24

Writing Ebola on a coffee cup