Most embarrassing thing you've done on a plane?

brummytom · 28-10-2014 12:27pm

I was on a flight when I was about 16, I think it might've been going to America, it was a long flight anyway.

I was sat near the front of the plane and was absolutely bursting for the toilet, but the toilets at the front were engaged. So I went to use the other toilet at the back of the plane.

As I was coming out of the toilet, I realised the air hostess had started selling food and drinks from the trolley. Unfortunately, there was no way for me to get round her, so I spent the next 30-odd minutes of the flight stood behind the air hostess until she reached the front, with everyone on the plane looking at me like I was special.

Stench Blossoms · 28-10-2014 12:40pm

Was flying back from Orlando to Dublin via JFK.

On the flight from Orlando to JFK I got violently sick. Was sitting beside a couple on their honeymoon and he was rubbing my back while I kept puking.

When the plan was landing I realised I had run out of sick bags so jumped up to get another. Que the air hostesses going mental at me. It was either that or get sick on my hands

The One Doctor · 28-10-2014 12:44pm

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

Ryanair?

Nope.

fleet_admiral · 28-10-2014 12:54pm

Flew Dublin to Blackpool a couple of years ago on an atr turboprop that was ancient. (ei-cbk for those who kmow aviation). I have a terrible fear of flying and was glued to the propellers as we were taxiing. The worst part was when the fear took over as we took off and I burst into tears, much to the amusement of my wife and the other 7 or so people on the plane. The flight wasnt even half an hour but it felt like days to me:o

Mister Vain · 28-10-2014 6:28pm

I remember my first ever flight. I wasn't sure how it all worked. I thought it was like a bus and you could just sit wherever you wanted. So I just started sitting in random seats and I had people coming up to me saying I was in their seat. I eventually found the right one. I was very worried about my ears popping so I began nervously chewing sweets. I got through 2 packets of fruit pastilles before the fecking plane even got up in the air.

DazMarz · 28-10-2014 6:33pm

Coming home from a Community Shield game in London with a friend. We're both Chelsea fans and Chelsea have just gotten clattered 3-1 by Man United. We're in our Chelsea jerseys, looking suitably dismayed, and are sitting right at the very front of the plane.

Who gets on the plane, in their Man United tracksuits? John O'Shea and Darron Gibson. In fairness, they shook our hands (albeit with shít-eating grins on their faces), but it was awful...

BrokenHero · 28-10-2014 6:35pm

When I was 17 and traveling alone to London, I experienced a massive claustrophobic induced panic attack. Was horrible and I would have jumped from the plane if I could have. In that state I embarrassingly said to a female crew member: "Can we go back?".

The One Doctor · 28-10-2014 6:55pm

Nomis21 wrote: »

I mistook him for one of the cabin stewards and asked him if he could get me a coca cola.

Did he get you the Coke though?

NotASheeple · 28-10-2014 8:03pm

I had a serious does of Guinness farts once. The smell got so bad, it silenced 4-5 rows either side of me. The embrassing part was the person I was sitting beside, we were hitting it off real nice before the eruption started.

Gandalph · 28-10-2014 8:13pm

Not really my story to tell but my mom used to work in an airport and she told me about her air hostess friends and how they replaced the usual whistle, on a colleagues demonstration life jacket, with that of a whistle in the form of a penis. She didn't notice until she had it already pressed to her lips during her usual life jacket demo routine in front of the whole plane. I'd say she was red with embarrassment. This being absolute decades ago when things were probably a bit more lax.

I am pie · 28-10-2014 8:13pm

Not me, honest sir, but I know a nervous flier who during some particularly bad turbulence had convinced himself it was all over. Grabbed his relatively new g/f and started blurting out about how much he loved her and if it they were on their way to a watery grave it was OK as he was with her etc. Plain levelled out, no one died.

Sap.

The J Stands for Jay · 28-10-2014 9:15pm

One time, I clapped when the plane landed.

sjb25 · 28-10-2014 9:18pm

McGaggs wrote: »

One time, I clapped when the plane landed.

Shamefull

jobbridge4life · 28-10-2014 9:22pm

Not exactly me doing something but was embarrassing. Once on a flight home form America, the ones with the free booze, I was sitting at the aisle, my partner sitting on the next seat in. I notice the stewardess coming along so I tell the other half, who was in a foul humour and in reply shouted at me, 'get me a ****ing whiskey'. The stewardess who by this stage taking orders from the people in front of us thought I had said it and swung around 'Calm down Sir, CALM DOWN, I will take your order when I get to you''.

jimmy180sx · 28-10-2014 9:22pm

Very recently tried to take a selfie with the fittest stewardess while we were preparing to takeoff..she spotted what i was trying to do and went into rage mode. Told me if i didnt delete the photo she would throw me off the plane.

smurfjed · 28-10-2014 9:25pm

ex G/F was a flight attendant , she was on a Boeing 747 classic that did a missed approach (didn't land from the approach and went around in order to try again), on a big aircraft like that, it needs a very wide circuit (circle) to come around for landing, the pilots saw the runway and continued visually, they didn't notice that the runway was half the length of the international airport that they were heading for. The screeched to a halt at the end of the runway with no way of getting the aircraft off the runway. Turned out that they had landed at a military airport that was close to the international airport.... It took 6 hours to get the passengers off....

Now that has to fall into the category of most embarrassing thing that someone has done

sjb25 · 28-10-2014 9:47pm

smurfjed wrote: »

ex G/F was a flight attendant , she was on a Boeing 747 classic that did a missed approach (didn't land from the approach and went around in order to try again), on a big aircraft like that, it needs a very wide circuit (circle) to come around for landing, the pilots saw the runway and continued visually, they didn't notice that the runway was half the length of the international airport that they were heading for. The screeched to a halt at the end of the runway with no way of getting the aircraft off the runway. Turned out that they had landed at a military airport that was close to the international airport.... It took 6 hours to get the passengers off....

Now that has to fall into the category of most embarrassing thing that someone has done

Lol

Mister Vain · 28-10-2014 10:08pm

jimmy180sx wrote: »

Very recently tried to take a selfie with the fittest stewardess while we were preparing to takeoff..she spotted what i was trying to do and went into rage mode. Told me if i didnt delete the photo she would throw me off the plane.

You've got balls man.

Some of them stewardesses do be fair hot.

Grandeeod · 28-10-2014 11:15pm

smurfjed wrote: »

ex G/F was a flight attendant , she was on a Boeing 747 classic that did a missed approach (didn't land from the approach and went around in order to try again), on a big aircraft like that, it needs a very wide circuit (circle) to come around for landing, the pilots saw the runway and continued visually, they didn't notice that the runway was half the length of the international airport that they were heading for. The screeched to a halt at the end of the runway with no way of getting the aircraft off the runway. Turned out that they had landed at a military airport that was close to the international airport.... It took 6 hours to get the passengers off....

Now that has to fall into the category of most embarrassing thing that someone has done

Eirjet, on behalf of Ryanair did that at Ballykelly, Northern Ireland in 2006. I'd love to hear what flight your ex was on with that 747 missing an approach and then landing on the wrong airstrip.

Grandeeod · 28-10-2014 11:18pm

jimmy180sx wrote: »

Very recently tried to take a selfie with the fittest stewardess while we were preparing to takeoff..she spotted what i was trying to do and went into rage mode. Told me if i didnt delete the photo she would throw me off the plane.

Ah cabin crew of the female gender aren't what they used to be. In fact 20 years ago, they were still ingrained with a complete and total lack of a sense of humour!:D

Buona Fortuna · 28-10-2014 11:33pm

Grandeeod wrote: »

Ah cabin crew of the female gender aren't what they used to be. In fact 20 years ago, they were still ingrained with a complete and total lack of a sense of humour!:D

I agree but I always found Easyjet cabin crew a really good laugh.

I use to fly over to Belfast on the first flight over and come back on the last flight, twice a month.

One time just before it began its decent into Luton a female steward was going down the cabin with a black bag collecting rubbish.

One of the cabin crew lads got on the pa and said:

"Janeane will be coming down the aisle if you can have your cups, newspapers, and rubbish ready."
A little while later
"Any of you lads like to jot down your phone numbers, Janeane will be grateful."
Shrieks from all the cabin crew, all passengers laughing. Janeane bright red.
"All you married men too. Give your numbers in Janeane will be grateful."

Whole plane in laughter.

Now this could have been taken as the most non-pc piece of hazing, but I don't think it was. I got the impression that the next time Janeane was on the pa she would be ripping the sh/t out of her male colleague just as well.

In the hundreds of times of doing that flight, thats pretty much the only one I remember.

razorgil · 28-10-2014 11:42pm

on a boston-heathrow flight, went to the jax, and left a particularly large floater behind me, with the accompanying hum, after a bit of a struggle. came back to my row, and sat in next to the missus. " i would not recommend going anywhere near number one for the remainder of the flight hon!!", and duly described what had happened. i looked across to catch her reaction, only to see some complete stranger frowning at me.....wrong row dickhead, wrong row!!

smurfjed · 28-10-2014 11:44pm

I'd love to hear what flight your ex was on with that 747 missing an approach and then landing on the wrong airstrip.

Sure, have a look at.....

http://www.financialexpress.com/old/ie/daily/19970603/15450453.html

I was shocked to read that it was 1997... time flies when you are having fun

:)

smurfjed · 28-10-2014 11:48pm

complete and total lack of a sense of humour!

Oh they had an awesome yet warped sense of humour, I know some who thought that it was extremely funny to put eye drops in any obnoxious captains coffee just before landing, of course they were sensible enough to check how long they were expected to hold before landing

ringadingding · 29-10-2014 12:12am

I boarded a flight at Heathrow, about an hour after having my last pint of a 16hr drink n drug binge.
Was in a heap, just kept my focus on getting onto the plane, finally got on, took my seat and zonked.
Till what seemed like hours later the stewardess poked me and woke me up, as I woke i did the loudest thundering fart known to mankind.
I thought the plane had landed, and got up to disembark... Everybody was staring at me
Turns out the plane hadnt even taken off yet but my snoring was too loud.

The come down was fair full of paranoia, I didnt dare nod off again, or ask for water, and held in a pîss for 3 hours.

Torture

FutureGuy · 29-10-2014 12:13am

Not on the actual flight per se.

Was catching a 630 am flight from Liverpool to Shannon. Had a great night sleep as we stayed right across the road from the terminal. There was a few travel alerts at the time so anything out of the ordinary was checked in full.

Arrived at the metal detector where three officers (two female, one male)were waiting for me to go through. Just before I was to start walking, one of the women asked me to take off my belt.

So I opened my belt and dropped my pants to my ankles.

Was I drunk? Don't drink. Was I high. Don't do drugs. Was I ill or tired. Nope. Took me a few seconds to realise that I shouldn't have done that.

There were a few moments where I really felt I was going to be taken away for either being high or a terrorist or something. I had a tight little pair of Batman underpants on so the goods were on show.

Finally, with a deadpan face, the woman said "Sorry, I already had my breakfast".

At this stage, Mrs. FG and the other two security officers were breaking down laughing. Because they do a lot of the TV airport shows in Liverpool, I was full sure I would appear on TV in the coming months.

Thankfully nothing. Yet

who_me · 29-10-2014 12:39am

A very mild one:

After a flight was cancelled due to strikes I was rebooked onto another route via Paris (so wasn't sure about gates, departure times, flight times, etc.)

Got on the plane, settling down.. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome aboard this flight to Dublin...". Panic. Do I say something? We're already taxiing. Do I go to Dublin, then buy another ticket to Paris. I'll miss my connecting flight, have to say something. And worst of all ... Dublin!?!

So Bing..bing..bing..bing...bing... followed by a very weak "Excuse me, I think I'm on the wrong flight!".
- Where are you supposed to be going?
- Paris!
- This flight goes to Paris, via Dublin.
- oh.

Cue loads of people sniggering at me. Bet even the captain was laughing at me..

bodhrandude · 29-10-2014 2:57am

Not actually on the plane but at Prestwick Airport in the late 1990s, my sister dropped me off at Prestwick after a weeks holiday in Scotland. I went over with a Scottish friend from Galway via Dublin, he was staying for two weeks. We bought Scottish rail tickets that were cheap and allowed us to take interconnecting routes throughout the country, one problem the lady issuing us the tickets mixed up our itineraries which had the return date. Anyway I never checked again till the actual departure where I checked in (This was pre-Ryan Air internet days). I'm sorry sir, your ID doesn't match your itinerary, I looked at the document and it was my mates name, I felt such a dufus.

So picture this mad Scots man standing outside the airport hitching to Glasgow and waving my fist at my departing plane and shouting I should be on you, you baxstard! I eventually found my sister again in Glasgow and she helped sort another flight for me.

SuperS54 · 29-10-2014 6:21am

Previously posted in the cringe worthy thread but applicable here!

Flying from Beijing to Paris a few years ago, got a free upgrade to Business class (thanks AF!). Had plenty to eat on the flight plus my stash of choccy which was to get me through the economy flight, and a handful of antacid tablets to counter the chocolate and alcohol.

As we were starting the descent into Paris I felt the gaseous result of my intake make it's presence felt. We're seatbelted up and the toilets are closed so no choice but to stay seated and let a small one go, can't hear it over the noise of the airplane and the suited french business woman next to me doesn't flinch. Let a larger one go to try to relieve the pain. No noise, no smell and no reaction, great stuff. Fire off a barrage of them for a couple of minutes each larger than the last but thankfully all inaudible until I finally notice a twitch and frown from herself beside me...Turned to the window and pulled a fake yawn, at which point my ears popped and everything sounded so much clearer and louder than before...Despite business being allowed off the plane earlier than economy I waited till almost the last to make sure herself and every from around me was well ahead in the terminal...

SuperS54 · 29-10-2014 6:39am

On a long haul with multiple connections, had been a few delays along the way, last flight was from Frankfurt to Heathrow. Boarded early and settled into a window seat in PE. Waiting as passengers boarded when I notice the hum, hours of sitting in planes had long ago overcome my lynx and we were in bad territory when I could smell myself! Seat beside me was empty so decided to put up with the smell...of course the last person to board the plane is a very pleasant looking German lass and she sits in the empty seat beside me, panic stations! Door closes and crew are preparing the cabin as quickly possible for takeoff, made a dash for the toilets before they were locked, quick scan of materials...soap, water and tissue available but time was short, then I spotted the alcohol wipes (later realized these were for disinfecting the toilet seat), perfect, quick wipe and I should be good to go! Gave the armpits a generous scrub and finished just as the airhostess knocked on the door. Quickly returned to my seat and buckled up, exchanged a nice smile with the attractive fräulein and we're good to go. And then the pain. Oh the pain. Scrubbing your open underarm pores with industrial alcohol is really not a good idea. Had to adopt a threatened turkey like stance, arms akimbo and as discretely as possible fan my armpits all the way through taxi and takeoff, face red and sweaty...Attractive fräulein inquires as to my health several times, assure her I'm fine through gritted teeth. The second the seatbelt light goes out I'm out of the seat and back in the toilet, scrubbing armpits with lovely cool wet paper towels. Happily make my way back to my seat and give attractive fräulein a nice smile, get a somewhat subdued response and no more conversation for the rest of the flight, she must have thought I was either constipated, had the runs or some sort of mental impairment!

Most embarrassing thing you've done on a plane?

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