Is there "something wrong" with a guy if he...

Mister Vain

paddy1990 wrote: »

Yet these women frown upon men having their own boxes that a woman needs to tick to be "relationship material".

These women need to accept that men have preferences just like women do.

Who exactly are "these women"? You speak of them as if they're some homogenous group. Not all women are alike.

I don't really care about a persons number. It's exactly that, a number.

Wompa1

eviltwin wrote: »

Explain, what is the difference and how does it impact on a relationship bearing in mind you have no way of knowing how many lovers your partner has had.

But I don't think him knowing changes the mentality of the woman who sleeps with many vs the woman who only sleeps with partners...

Of course their mentality is different. Just like the mentality of a man who sleeps around vs a man who only sleeps with a woman he's in a committed relationship with...

Penny Tration

Easiest way to avoid these issues - don't ask a person's number.

My number is low, and if anyone asked, I'd tell them to feck off. It's my past, not theirs. My boyfriend only knows because it came up in conversation the year before we got together, when we were friends and spoke about relationships.

Potatoeman

This thread made me think of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqrJp-EKy-w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqrJp-EKy-w

strobe

Wompa1 wrote: »

But I don't think him knowing changes the mentality of the woman who sleeps with many vs the woman who only sleeps with partners...

Of course their mentality is different. Just like the mentality of a man who sleeps around vs a man who only sleeps with a woman he's in a committed relationship with...

Where he's going wrong is presuming that all women with few previous sexual partners have the same mentality and all women with more have the same mentality. There's a multitude of reasons someone could have few or many, and a multitude of mentalities that would have influenced those reasons.

Wompa1

strobe wrote: »

Where he's going wrong is presuming that all women with few previous sexual partners have the same mentality and all women with more have the same mentality. There's a multitude of reasons someone could have few or many, and a multitude of mentalities that would have influenced those reasons.

But there's also a common character trait there....whatever about reasons there's something in your mind that tells you to go for it or not go for it. There's people who are reserved and those who are not. Those who believe sex is a close intimate act and those who think it's getting yourself off...d'ya know....

EdenHazard

eviltwin wrote: »

I often wonder about "the number" and if people who put such an emphasis on it are only concerned with the figure or it they have an issue with the nature of "the number"

For example, say you meet a person who has had 10 partners. Does it make a difference if those 10 people were proper relationships? Is it better to have been in 10 relationships than say, have had 4 drunken one night stands with people who you barely remember?

If you have had only had one lover what does that say about you? Does it make you a better prospect than the man or woman who has had a history? If so why and if not, why not?

I don't get this hang up on the number of sexual partners a person has had, I can understand it if you are young and the people you are looking at as potential dates are young enough not to have a history but for most people over a certain age the idea of a virgin or a person who has only had sex with one person is a bit pie in the sky.

Personally I want someone who has had a past, who has had a chance to hone his skills and get over his sexual hang ups with someone else. I don't want to have to be a teacher or the one who helps him through his fears of say, oral sex. I'm too old to take someone in hand and guide them. All I need to know is that they are experienced, std free and on the same wave length as me. The actual tally of past lovers is none of my business.

That's it virgins, I guess thats that!

Ave Sodalis

Wompa1 wrote: »

But there's also a common character trait there....whatever about reasons there's something in your mind that tells you to go for it or not go for it. There's people who are reserved and those who are not. Those who believe sex is a close intimate act and those who think it's getting yourself off...d'ya know....

I don't think it's as simple as that. I thought of sex as something that was just an enjoyable thing to do when I was single. In a relationship, I see it as a close intimate act. If I were to end up single again, it would go back to being something that's an enjoyable thing to do.

strobe

Wompa1 wrote: »

But there's also a common character trait there....whatever about reasons there's something in your mind that tells you to go for it or not go for it. There's people who are reserved and those who are not. Those who believe sex is a close intimate act and those who think it's getting yourself off...d'ya know....

Not necessarily. Do. You. Know. What. I. am. Saying?

EdenHazard

Also op, completely agree, imagine seeing your wife kissing your daughter or son knowing she's had umpteen dicks in and around her mouth. Vile. The problem is its very hard to find good girls now, this generation glorifies being a slut to the point that having sex by 30 times by the time someone is 28 is seen as 'standard' as been made clear by many in this thread.

RDM_83 again

I love boards, as soon as I saw the thread title I knew exactly what to expect and what the correct answer would be (by correct I mean popular), and how the fact the 'correct' answer is repeated a lot doesn't really tie to strongly in in what having honest conversations among men would tell you about preferences, note that I say preferences and not being a deal breaker.

This previous thread on a similar vein quite neatly shows how much the 'correct' boards opinion diverges from reality at a quiet frightening level, its also worth reading to see how once the thread goes on a bit the most 'correct' poster (most thanked) reveals their true colors and shows how shaming is used by those who would portray themselves as extremely tolerant (mod note its a closed account so I feel its fair game to refer to it).
A similar thing is happening in this thread to a lesser extent.

Is there anything wrong with the thesis that.

A large amount of experience tends to be either a neutral or negative factor in male judgement of 'attractiveness'
And that a large amount of experience tends to be either neutral or positive for female judgement of 'attractiveness'.

Also while for some men this attitude may be born of insecurity I have met enough lads who could be considered players who have exactly the same attitude, how are they explained away*

My personal opinion is that life is complicated and love (and sex) isn't exactly a rational thing at least on a individual level and while you may have some sort of mental checklist or 'type' it doesn't really matter if the person (insert soppy music or :rolleyes: as appropriate) is your soul mate.

* point to remember if your a woman they are trying to pull they know what the appealing answer to this question, it doesn;t mean its an honest opinion.

paddy1990

EdenHazard wrote: »

That's it virgins, I guess thats that!

I wonder what she thinks a 30 year old virgin should do?

If women generally won't want a guy who doesn't know what he's doing in bed, especially at age 30, what would she recommend him to do?

paddy1990

EdenHazard wrote: »

Also op, completely agree, imagine seeing your wife kissing your daughter or son knowing she's had umpteen dicks in and around her mouth. Vile. The problem is its very hard to find good girls now, this generation glorifies being a slut to the point that having sex by 30 times by the time someone is 28 is seen as 'standard' as been made clear by many in this thread.

Well I made the thread with the intention of exposing the fact that some women think that there is something wrong with guys if they have a problem with their wife having 20+ guys before them. My mistake was picking the number 20 though, I should have doubled it.

strobe

paddy1990 wrote: »

Well I made the thread with the intention of exposing the fact that some women think that there is something wrong with guys if they have a problem with their wife having 20+ guys before them. My mistake was picking the number 20 though, I should have doubled it.

:pac:

Yar! Me mateys, haul this sea dog up a Pulitser.

Shakespeare's Sister

RDM_83 again wrote: »

I love boards, as soon as I saw the thread title I knew exactly what to expect and what the correct answer would be (by correct I mean popular), and how the fact the 'correct' answer is repeated a lot doesn't really tie to strongly in in what having honest conversations among men would tell you about preferences, note that I say preferences and not being a deal breaker.

This previous thread on a similar vein quite neatly shows how much the 'correct' boards opinion diverges from reality at a quiet frightening level, its also worth reading to see how once the thread goes on a bit the most 'correct' poster (most thanked) reveals their true colors and shows how shaming is used by those who would portray themselves as extremely tolerant (mod note its a closed account so I feel its fair game to refer to it).
A similar thing is happening in this thread to a lesser extent.

Is there anything wrong with the thesis that.

A large amount of experience tends to be either a neutral or negative factor in male judgement of 'attractiveness'
And that a large amount of experience tends to be either neutral or positive for female judgement of 'attractiveness'.

Also while for some men this attitude may be born of insecurity I have met enough lads who could be considered players who have exactly the same attitude, how are they explained away*

My personal opinion is that life is complicated and love (and sex) isn't exactly a rational thing at least on a individual level and while you may have some sort of mental checklist or 'type' it doesn't really matter if the person (insert soppy music or :rolleyes: as appropriate) is your soul mate.

* point to remember if your a woman they are trying to pull they know what the appealing answer to this question, it doesn;t mean its an honest opinion.

Well I was someone who agreed on that thread that the situation in question was a very very extreme one and it would put me off.
20 sex partners by age 27 is very far off that though. It's not hardly any experience either, but it's really not extreme.

I don't get the emphasis on experience though. If I like someone, I wouldn't care if he was inexperienced. It's good to be able to communicate and let your partner know what you like anyway.

EdenHazard

lol I have 700 matches in a month on tinder, if I wanted women I could have them, but I'm not a hook up kinda guy Yes I know I'm hot, looking for an actual connection on a personality basis.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

EdenHazard wrote: »

lol I have 700 matches in a month on tinder, if I wanted women I could have them, but I'm not a hook up kinda guy Yes I know I'm hot, looking for an actual connection on a personality basis.

Eden, I hate to burst your bubble but you look like a rejected member of one direction. You're not gods gift to women. Far from it. I'd laugh in your face if you came near me on a night out. And FYI, personality > looks. There'll be a time those chinos won't fit you and you start losing your hair.


(Ps, why on tinder if you're such a hit with the ladies?)

EdenHazard

We all have different tastes, some girls dig me, last girl I was seeing was a strong 8/10 french girl soooo mightn't be to your taste but that's what makes the world go round. But nice to know you would 'laugh' I'm sure you are a really nice person :rolleyes:

I don't dress like I'm in One Direction btw, I look after myself, got dem youthful genetics so I'm very confident I'll be stylin' well into my 50's. feelsgood

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

EdenHazard wrote: »

We all have different tastes, some girls dig me, last girl I was seeing was a strong 8/10 french girl soooo mightn't be to your taste but I have a niche.

Is that because she couldn't understand English?

RDM_83 again

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

Well I was someone who agreed on that thread that the situation in question was a very very extreme one and it would put me off.

I was using it as an example of how to these type of threads there is always a predictable 'correct' opinion and it doesn't matter how extreme the behavior is (I'd be curious how a mental health professional would evaluate the behavior describe by the OP's ex-partner), that opinion is always right and even if out in the real world I would guess most of the people who thanked the first couple of posts would run a mile from that relationship themselves.
Adding to that we get a glimpse of the mindset of those who are so quick to condemn someone else's intolerance.

I've gotten used to it but its just so fcuking predicable and it doesn't mesh at all with the messy grey area that is the real world, add to that the kneejerk defensiveness and social cache that some posters seem intent on building up and a completely false unrealistic dialogue is built up (this is the Gentlemans Club forum after all, do you realistically expect a conversation between a group of men in the pub to have anything like these responses*)

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

20 sex partners by age 27 is very far off that though. It's not hardly any experience either, but it's really not extreme.

I'd agree with you on that (though I am not sure where the 27 age is coming from I was presuming 24 or younger) at a guess I would hazard that its actually above average though, its a notoriously inaccurate thing to survey but the figures are generally surprisingly low around 8-12 (people forget a lot of people are in relationships, a lot of the time, a lot of them for very long periods).

Shakespeare's Sister wrote: »

I don't get the emphasis on experience though. If I like someone, I wouldn't care if he was inexperienced. It's good to be able to communicate and let your partner know what you like anyway.

Thats why I said it may be a neutral, I don't think I have ever read online or heard in real life a woman say that a man being a virgin is a positive, conversely I've heard the opposite a lot in terms of experience being an attractive quality.

Also to stray slightly lack of experience is definitely used as a put down for men by both men and woman (I am fairly certain MagicMarker is female?)

MagicMarker wrote: »

So someone with the same experience as yourself then?

Understandable.

Have you ever heard a man put down a woman by implying lack of sexual experience?

* Not dismissing female input here i have posted in tLL on occasion but I would hazard there is a lot of self censorship going on in threads like these

EdenHazard

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Is that because she couldn't understand English?

Good looks are a universal language

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

EdenHazard wrote: »

Good looks are a universal language

And yet, here you are. Single, and judging those who do get laid.

EdenHazard

LexieOnRale wrote: »

And yet, here you are. Single, and judging those who do get laid.

They get laid by 3/10's in copper face jacks, I'm hardly jealous. 700 matches in a MONTH on tinder, I don't swipe on just anyone(high standards crew) I could clean up if I wanted to. Think about it. I'm just stating facts btw, I'm not even being full of myself.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

EdenHazard wrote: »

They get laid by 3/10's, I'm hardly jealous.

How old are you?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Forget it, you're trolling me.

EdenHazard

LexieOnRale wrote: »

How old are you?

Says the person who said they would laugh in the face of somebody on a night out, hypocrisy is strong.

Macavity.

I'm embarrassed for both of you tbh.

paddy1990

LexieOnRale wrote: »

And FYI, personality > looks.

You need to be physically attracted to someone in order for personality to matter. A balding 50 year old 20 stone man might have the greatest personality in the world, would you date him?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

EdenHazard wrote: »

They get laid by 3/10's in copper face jacks, I'm hardly jealous. 700 matches in a MONTH on tinder, I don't swipe on just anyone(high standards crew) I could clean up if I wanted to. Think about it. I'm just stating facts btw, I'm not even being full of myself.

700 matches, and still, not one ride. And that's before they even interact with you. God bless ya.

EdenHazard

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Is that because she couldn't understand English?

LMAO she's a French University Student, not a Thai order bride lol