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Religious Boyfriend

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    #122
    Dades
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,558 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dades


    I may have watched the Toy Story boxset too much. :)


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    #123
    Zubeneschamali
    Registered Users Posts: 16,686 ✭✭✭✭Zubeneschamali


    Buona Fortuna wrote: »
    Of all the arguments that we have and have had - never about religion.

    Same here. Things for the OP to consider:

    Lots of atheists here have ended up marrying Catholics and having kids, and have had no religion-related problems in their marriage. That's way beyond where your current relationship will probably go, so don't worry about it.

    Secondly, if you refuse to have relationships with religious people, you've eliminated most of your options.

    And frankly, I'd rather be married to a laid-back catholic than to a crusading atheist. A laid back atheist would be better still, and a crusading Christian the worst, but I'll take flexible every time.


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    #124
    Beano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭Beano


    Dades wrote: »
    Can you quote for us the conclusions she has come to?

    I can only find these ones:


    I urge you not to continue with this line unless you have something to back it up.

    well she did say
    I dunno does he judge a little deep inside though


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    #125
    nozzferrahhtoo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,338 ✭✭✭nozzferrahhtoo


    Brown Bomber wrote: »
    It's a little rude to proffer ham-fisted psycho-analysitions in the third person, I think. Especially as you couldn't be more wrong. The reason Lisa is being intolerant is that she is forming conclusions on a person based on not what they actually have done or said but what she assumes they have done based on her prejudices against the "other".

    And once again I have to repeat my question, which you have consistently dodged thus far including simply ignoring my entire last post on the matter, as to what exactly she has been saying that makes you reach the conclusions you are listing. It is, after all, a little rude to proffer ham-fisted psycho-analysis based on twisting someones words.

    I have read every post on her thread, several times now, and all I am seeing is a person who recognizes differences between her and her new partner, and is seeking people who have had similar experiences of this particular difference.

    What is intolerant in that? Where has she "formed conclusions"? Where is this "paranoia" you referred to? Where is her "prejudice"? You appear to simply be making ALL of this up for some reasons of your own that are entirely opaque to me in every way.

    Posting dictionary definitions of words into a thread does not magically make those words apply to the thread, let alone the OP of it.


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    #126
    Brown Bomber
    Site Banned Posts: 8,331 ✭✭✭Brown Bomber


    nozzferrahhtoo wrote: »
    And once again I have to repeat my question, which you have consistently dodged thus far including simply ignoring my entire last post on the matter, as to what exactly she has been saying that makes you reach the conclusions you are listing. It is, after all, a little rude to proffer ham-fisted psycho-analysis based on twisting someones words.

    I have read every post on her thread, several times now, and all I am seeing is a person who recognizes differences between her and her new partner, and is seeking people who have had similar experiences of this particular difference.

    What is intolerant in that? Where has she "formed conclusions"? Where is this "paranoia" you referred to? Where is her "prejudice"? You appear to simply be making ALL of this up for some reasons of your own that are entirely opaque to me in every way.

    Posting dictionary definitions of words into a thread does not magically make those words apply to the thread, let alone the OP of it.
    OK, well apparently you missed her irrational and completely unsubstantiated thoughts on whether he was secretly judging her BECAUSE he was "religious" on some undefined level.

    This is by definition prejudice.


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    #127
    Brown Bomber
    Site Banned Posts: 8,331 ✭✭✭Brown Bomber


    Dades wrote: »
    Can you quote for us the conclusions she has come to?

    I can only find these ones:


    I urge you not to continue with this line unless you have something to back it up.
    The fact that she believes that her boyfriend is judging her based solely on the fact that he has some religious beliefs that she isn't sure of.


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    #128
    Cabaal
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 28,470 Mod ✭✭✭✭Cabaal


    Brown Bomber wrote: »
    OK, well apparently you missed her irrational and completely unsubstantiated thoughts on whether he was secretly judging her BECAUSE he was "religious" on some undefined level.

    This is by definition prejudice.

    Isn't original sin prejudice?

    It unfairly labels the entire human race as sinful, without providing any evidence to show that a person has committed a sin


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    #129
    Brown Bomber
    Site Banned Posts: 8,331 ✭✭✭Brown Bomber


    Cabaal wrote: »
    Catholic church teaches that everyone as sinful from the very start, isn't that prejudice?

    They've already labeled the entire human race as sinful but yet they know nothing about the entire human race,
    and? :confused::confused::confused:


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    #130
    Mr. CooL ICE
    Registered Users Posts: 17,520 ✭✭✭✭Mr. CooL ICE


    Brown Bomber wrote: »
    The fact that she believes that her boyfriend is judging her based solely on the fact that he has some religious beliefs that she isn't sure of.

    Or maybe she is 18 and is simply asking a question because she doesn't know the answer.


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    #131
    Beano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭Beano


    Cabaal wrote: »
    Isn't original sin prejudice?

    It unfairly labels the entire human race as sinful, without providing any evidence to show that a person has committed a sin

    she has shown a specific prejudice. She has specifically said that she thinks he is judging her. That has nothing to do with original sin.


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    #132
    Lingua Franca
    Registered Users Posts: 2,800 ✭✭✭Lingua Franca


    Beano wrote: »
    she has shown a specific prejudice. She has specifically said that she thinks he is judging her. That has nothing to do with original sin.


    No she didn't. She asked if he might be.

    Edit: and since the Christian concept of original sin is pre-judging all people as sinners, that's perfectly valid.


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    #133
    Beano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭Beano


    Nicolas Cage wrote: »
    Or maybe she is 18 and is simply asking a question because she doesn't know the answer.

    she hasnt asked a question she has made an assumption. she did not say "do you think he might be judging me".


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    #134
    Lingua Franca
    Registered Users Posts: 2,800 ✭✭✭Lingua Franca


    She did not say "I think he is judging me", as you claimed she so specifically did, either.
    I dunno does he judge a little deep inside though


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    #135
    Beano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭Beano


    Lingua Franca wrote: »
    She did not say "I think he is judging me", as you claimed she so specifically did, either.

    why wouid she even think in that direction unless she thought there was some truth in it?


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    #136
    Brown Bomber
    Site Banned Posts: 8,331 ✭✭✭Brown Bomber


    Nicolas Cage wrote: »
    Or maybe she is 18 and is simply asking a question because she doesn't know the answer.
    Granted, but she is asking the question based on her prejudices against her boyfriend BECAUSE he has some undetermined religious. Just because a prejudice is the majority view doesn't make it any less prejudicial. I'm starting to feel like the kid who pointed out the emperor has no clothes.


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    #137
    Mr. CooL ICE
    Registered Users Posts: 17,520 ✭✭✭✭Mr. CooL ICE


    Beano wrote: »
    she hasnt asked a question she has made an assumption. she did not say "do you think he might be judging me".
    Well, if you're gonna be pedantic about, then her statement isn't grammatically perfect and therefore can be perceived as either a question, a statement or otherwise.
    xLisaBx wrote: »
    I dunno does he judge a little deep inside though
    Reads to me like it's a thought that crossed her mind and she typed out loud. She doesn't sound prejudiced to me.


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    #138
    Beano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭Beano


    Nicolas Cage wrote: »
    Well, if you're gonna be pedantic about, then her statement isn't grammatically perfect and therefore can be perceived as either a question, a statement or otherwise.

    Reads to me like it's a thought that crossed her mind and she typed out loud. She doesn't sound prejudiced to me.

    its as clear as day to me.


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    #139
    Lingua Franca
    Registered Users Posts: 2,800 ✭✭✭Lingua Franca


    Beano wrote: »
    why wouid she even think in that direction unless she thought there was some truth in it?

    Because she is 18 years old and wondering if people with conflicting ideologies can work it out.

    She was only asking for advice. Why is it so important to you that you make her out to be an intolerant bigot?


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    #140
    Brown Bomber
    Site Banned Posts: 8,331 ✭✭✭Brown Bomber


    Beano wrote: »
    why wouid she even think in that direction unless she thought there was some truth in it?
    Exactly, the difference, if at all is of degree not of kind.


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    #141
    Beano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭Beano


    Lingua Franca wrote: »
    Because she is 18 years old and wondering if people with conflicting ideologies can work it out.

    She was only asking for advice. Why is it so important to you that you make her out to be an intolerant bigot?

    where have i called her an intolerant bigot?


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    #142
    Lingua Franca
    Registered Users Posts: 2,800 ✭✭✭Lingua Franca


    Beano wrote: »
    where have i called her an intolerant bigot?

    I said "make her out to be". But I'm sure you'll claim I specifically said otherwise despite the words being there in black and white.

    The tone at the start of this thread was gentle and caring and loving on her part, and understanding on the part of the respondents.

    Congratulations on your part in this thread. I'm sure she'll cherish your advice.


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    #143
    Beano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭Beano


    Lingua Franca wrote: »
    I said "make her out to be". But I'm sure you'll claim I specifically said otherwise despite the words being there in black and white.

    The tone at the start of this thread was gentle and caring and loving on her part, and understanding on the part of the respondents.

    Ok then where have i made her out to be an intolerant bigot? Those words werent even mentioned in this thread until you started posting
    Lingua Franca wrote: »
    Congratulations on your part in this thread. I'm sure she'll cherish your advice.

    I havent given her any advice.


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    #144
    rozeboosje
    Closed Accounts Posts: 857 ✭✭✭rozeboosje


    Well, we can try and be kind to OP and how she chose to ask the question. We all know that *some* religious people *do* judge non-believers. You only need to look at the Westboros to see an extreme example of that. So I can understand that she may be worried that he *might* be judging her.

    What is a bit odd is that she chose to ask a bunch of perfect strangers on a web site to answer that question when the only person who could possibly answer it is her boyfriend himself.


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    #145
    Mr. CooL ICE
    Registered Users Posts: 17,520 ✭✭✭✭Mr. CooL ICE


    Beano wrote: »
    Ok then where have i made her out to be an intolerant bigot? Those words werent even mentioned in this thread until you started posting

    When you jumped to the conclusion that she was prejudiced based on a vague sentence


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    #146
    Beano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭Beano


    Nicolas Cage wrote: »
    When you jumped to the conclusion that she was prejudiced based on a vague sentence

    i think it is quite a leap from prejudiced to intolerant bigot.


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    #147
    Lingua Franca
    Registered Users Posts: 2,800 ✭✭✭Lingua Franca


    Beano wrote: »
    Ok then where have i made her out to be an intolerant bigot? Those words werent even mentioned in this thread until you started posting

    Here, when you were supporting a post calling her intolerant.

    Oh, and here, where you called her prejudiced.
    I havent given her any advice.

    Precisely.


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    #148
    Beano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭Beano


    Lingua Franca wrote: »
    Here, when you were supporting a post calling her intolerant.

    Oh, and here, where you called her prejudiced.



    Precisely.

    so i havent used the word intolerant at all then?


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    #149
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,402 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    Mod: The term "bigot" is rapidly becoming verboten in this forum as it causes much heat for very little light.

    Please drop the term.


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    #150
    Brown Bomber
    Site Banned Posts: 8,331 ✭✭✭Brown Bomber


    rozeboosje wrote: »
    Well, we can try and be kind to OP and how she chose to ask the question. We all know that *some* religious people *do* judge non-believers. You only need to look at the Westboros to see an extreme example of that. So I can understand that she may be worried that he *might* be judging her.

    What is a bit odd is that she chose to ask a bunch of perfect strangers on a web site to answer that question when the only person who could possibly answer it is her boyfriend himself.

    I think I have been the only person to suggest talking to her boyfriend. I don't mean to be unkind, prejudice and intolerance are buzz words which mean different things to different people and the prejudice on display here is certainly on the milder end of the spectrum but it is prejudice nonetheless. So my advise to you Lisa is too take people as you find them and judge them on what they do and say and not what you believe they might think and say because they are "different" to you.

    I'm not quite sure if it has hit home yet but you are troubled by him judging you based on nothing at all when it is you who is actually doing the judging in your relationship.


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    #151
    Lingua Franca
    Registered Users Posts: 2,800 ✭✭✭Lingua Franca


    Noted, Robindch.
    Beano wrote: »
    so i havent used the word intolerant at all then?


    I never said you did. But you joined an advice thread merely to support a post calling her that.

    Anyway, this thread isn't about you or me and this conversation is way off topic.


This discussion has been closed.
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