How much € should parents take off grown-up children towards their keep per week

darkpagandeath

bluewolf wrote: »

What do you do

Hands in dirty jocks that are then placed in a bio gas collector that then generates free electricity for the family home. :pac:

Peppa Pig

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

I offer but very rarely will they allow me to pay, they would normally refuse to let me pay.

For my parents I never asked, I just paid it and told them it was done.

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

I do a lot for my parents so enough of the digs, more than most here do of that I can be sure.

Care to enlighten us?
Yet again, you are sure that you do more than most on here with no evidence at all, just pure annoyance. I think that would be called a "dig".

TheDoc

Moved out of the parents house two years ago. Handed up 350 each month.

Got my first wage at fifteen and was handing over money from day one. Various portion depending on the earnings.

No issue with it and never had. Fair was fair and I figured the least I could do for the back breaking my parents did to give me a pretty brilliant childhood and home.

zarquon

Peppa Pig wrote: »

When you are mollycoddled all the time, I suppose it's only natural to throw your toys out of the pram when the real world points it out to you.

As an addemdum to an earlier point i made about over dependence on parents being indicative of a over indulged and spoilt upbrining as noted by child psychologists, tantrum are also an indicator. In real life you would never expect a grown man to throw a tantrum but in online social media these tantrums can be be often seen through written diatribes.

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

No I haven't (and as I've pointed out a number of time), I'm renting in a house share a few hours drive from home so for one I wouldn't have my parents over in a house share and two when they do come to visit we go eat out as that's we like to do.

What about taking your parents out to dinner locally. I live 80 miles away from mine so it's impossible for me to cook for mine unless they are visiting but when i visit them i often take them out to dinner at a local restaurant as a nice treat. By your previously stated reasoning, this probably means that my family don't love me as much as your by letting me provide a meal for them rather than the other way around. Often they want to pay but i refuse as love is a 2-way street and it's nice to give back also. If you are a taker and not a giver then you lack love, plain and simple.

Do you regularly take your parents out for a treat in Galway?

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

I do a lot for my parents so enough of the digs, more than most here do of that I can be sure.

That's an interesting statement. What is the basis of your opinion that you do more for your parents that most most of the other people on this thread. I have read several examples of great generousity, consideration and love from posters towards their parents and reading your contributions i am failing to see this.

I could be wrong though so please provide examples of what you do for your parents that most others on here would never do for their parents? Of course if you are making up unsubstantiated statements to help your cause you won't be able to answer this.

Mrs Garth Brooks

I can't wait until I have kids. I'm going to make so much money from them. That'll teach them for being born.

K4t

While agreeing with the general consensus that one should contribute monetarily to the household, what's far more fascinating as the thread has developed is the disparaging opinions, many quite vicious and insulting, towards the few posters who dare to argue against the idea.

Fair play to you if you've been handing up 300e or x% of your wages for as long as you can remember, but why the desperate need to seek validation and association for this admirable deed while ridiculing and vilifying those who do not comply to your standards? It does not come across well at all through reading the thread.

zarquon

K4t wrote: »

While agreeing with the general consensus that one should contribute monetarily to the household, what's far more fascinating as the thread has developed is the disparaging opinions, many quite vicious and insulting, towards the few posters who dare to argue against the idea.

Fair play to you if you've been handing up 300e or x% of your wages for as long as you can remember, but why the desperate need to seek validation and association for this admirable deed while ridiculing and vilifying those who do not comply to your standards? It does not come across well at all through reading the thread.

I think it went that way when certain opponents of the majority opinion started throwing outlandish ideas out there about how people who moved out in their teens and no longer live in their parents pockets as adults are cut off, isolated and void of family love due to having to fend for one's self and to be pitied as having a sh*t life. When trolls start throwing such nonsensical statements around it should not be a surprise when such trolls are vilified.

BTW Still waiting for nox's details about how he does more for his parents than most others on this thread. Really looking forward to the detailed explanation

hynesie08

zarquon wrote: »

Based on your username, you have the potential to be a farmer's wife, in which case you should expect to be washing your son's jocks until he get married whereupon you can hand the mantle to his wife

Based upon her username, she can expect $125 million cause her husband can't keep it in his pants.

CroatoanCat

I'm baffled at some of the mad views expressed on this thread! How any working adult would feel hard done by at having to make a contribution to the family budget is beyond me, frankly. There was even reference to parents "gouging" their children, which seems like hysterical nonsense to me. I'm an old gimmer, so perhaps this is a generational thing? Sure, it's very nice if parents are in a financial position to allow their "children" to live at home through their 20s and even beyond without taking any contribution from them, thereby allowing them to amass savings and-or have more disposable income, but to EXPECT that of one's parents is in alternative universe territory for me!!

I have had a good chuckle at this thread, however, because so many posters - with several honourable exceptions - seem to have no notion of their parents as actual people. This whimsical, romantic notion that every parent should be eternally grateful that their adult, full-time working offspring should deign to live with them, rent or contribution-free, for who knows how long is just that - whimsical and romantic. Of course, some parents ARE happy to do just that, which is nice (but also seems a bit sad to me, in its own way; one can love and support one's children throughout their lives without necessarily having to keep them living at home and subsidising them for a large stretch of their adulthood.)
I'm guessing some of the posters expressing abhorrence at the idea of coughing up for the cushy live-at-home-rent-free number have parents who are only in their 50s - maybe even late 40s. I bet quite a few parents in this age group and older would rather fancy some personal space, privacy and a bit of disposable cash after years of child rearing. Surely this is the reward for the self-sacrifice, worry and hardship of rearing well-adjusted adults? And, you know, maybe the potential to have a shag mid-afternoon?? (Yes, yes - gross etc; your eyes cannot unsee that image. And so forth )

TLDR: Any adult working full-time and living in the parental home should make a contribution. It is not safe to assume your parents have become so devoid of their own identities and interests that the only happy future they can conceive is one that includes feeding and homing their financially independent adult offspring indefinitely. You shouldn't want life to be like that for them !

FTA69

I just can't understand why any young adult would want to live with their parents. I moved out at 17 and spent my time getting wrecked for days on end and throwing my langer into anything that moved. The last thing I wanted was to be around my Mam all the time.

Barely There

CroatoanCat wrote: »

I'm guessing some of the posters expressing abhorrence at the idea of coughing up for the cushy live-at-home-rent-free number have parents who are only in their 50s - maybe even late 40s. I bet quite a few parents in this age group and older would rather fancy some personal space, privacy and a bit of disposable cash after years of child rearing. Surely this is the reward for the self-sacrifice, worry and hardship of rearing well-adjusted adults? And, you know, maybe the potential to have a shag mid-afternoon?? (Yes, yes - gross etc; your eyes cannot unsee that image. And so forth )

Perhaps the parents with live-at-home adult offspring are reaping their rewards too? Getting to cook dinners and wash the clothes of their apparently PhD educated children :rolleyes:.

Micky Dolenz

FTA69 wrote: »

I just can't understand why any young adult would want to live with their parents. I moved out at 17 and spent my time getting wrecked for days on end and throwing my langer into anything that moved. The last thing I wanted was to be around my Mam all the time.

Have your ever considered writing poetry?

darkpagandeath

Barely There wrote: »

Perhaps the parents with live-at-home adult offspring are reaping their rewards too? Getting to cook dinners and wash the clothes of their apparently PhD educated children :rolleyes:.

One thing i don't get being a city person, Is not a mammy's boy unable to do simple house related activities a complete turn off to modern women ? My OH could burn water.

zarquon

darkpagandeath wrote: »

One thing i don't get being a city person, Is not a mammy's boy unable to do simple house related activities a complete turn off to modern women ? My OH could burn water.

To modern women yes. But to indoctrinated daughters of old Ireland chauvinistic men it's a turn on as the woman can truly serve her purpose in the relationship Chances are that if women were raised up serving the sons and fathers they will look for an expect this in their own future relationships.

darkpagandeath

zarquon wrote: »

To modern women yes. But to indoctrinated daughters of old Ireland chauvinistic men it's a turn on as the woman can truly serve her purpose in the relationship Chance are that if women were raised up servining the sons and fathers they will look for an expect this in their own future relationships.

Wow that's a mad idea, Has going to school in these areas not stamped a lot of that nonsense out ?

zarquon

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Wow that's a mad idea, Has going to school in these areas not stamped a lot of that nonsense out ?

Apparently not. I have seen it in some families from back home albeit on a very limited scale and there are traces of that mentality visible even in this thread. It's shocking stuff :eek:

Even more shocking is that the men of these families are raised to expect the women to do all the housework for them and to expect that the women in question "enjoy" and "love" doing this work for the men.

I lived with a friend once who was one of these. He was a nightmare to live with, a complete slob who could barely manage simple household chores. His floor was his warddrobe and he would leave dirty pots, pans and dishes everywhere just as he used to do at home. He was used to his mother cleaning up for him and this habit carried over into adulthood where he left things for his housemates to clean up expecting this to be normal behaviour. At one point i was gone on holiday for 3 weeks and the house was utterly destroyed. Stunk out, filthy with mold growing over every plate and cooking utensil in the place. His mother came to visit and duly proceeded to spend an entire day cleaning the house to get it back to normal condition before i returned for fear that i would kick him out. Even in his late twenties his mother was still cleaning for him after he moved away!! He would bring his washing to his mother once he ran out of clean clothes, that was his trigger for paying a visit to his dear mother! Outside of this though he was still a lovely lad though and great craic, it was actually his mother fault who i blame for spoiling him completely. Nice lad to hang around with, horrible to live with!


After that episode i made a decision that i would never share a house with a "mammy's boy" again because chances are they will be the messiest, most inconsiderate housemates one could have.

A lot of focus is put on these types of people living at home but honestly my experience is that they are a nightmare to deal with in a houseshare and so maybe they are just better off at the parents home where their every whim will be catered to rather than house shares where other tenants expect these people to pull their own weight, which rarely happens.

Recondite49

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Wow that's a mad idea, Has going to school in these areas not stamped a lot of that nonsense out ?

If we had girls stay at home and learn housework, that would be the Education budget cut in half overnight. :-D

John_Rambo

I have to admire Nox's honestly. He didn't even try and pretend he paid for dinner!

Nox, has your mother ever cleaned your rented house?

pharmaton

poor nox, getting the rough end of the stick. He sounds kind of young, so give him a little bit of slack. In all honesty though I expect this is his upbringing and while he does have to take some responsibility for his independence, or lack of, at some stage I'd be more disillusioned with the mothers who do this to their sons. (I know plenty of them) It doesn't make him a bad person though and I expect in time he will find it more enjoyable to be able to do those things himself.

MaroonAndGreen

Cant understand a parent wanting to take their children's wages.. how do you expect them to progress and have a life if you are taking their wages..

Would you not rather they had more money to live their lives or to save for a car/rent of their own?

John_Rambo

MaroonAndGreen wrote: »

Cant understand a parent wanting to take their children's wages..

Neither can I. Sounds like something you'd here from a swear shop in India where the families poverty forces parents to sent the kids out to work.

Can't understand why you're bringing it up in this thread though. It's about teens and adults making a contribution towards the household whilst living at home.

fizzypish

I think it should depend on how much you irritate your folks. I got on well with the folks when living at home so I generally just did food shopping, cooked and paid bills as they came in, bought oil for the winter etc.... On top of that the father just point blank wouldn't take my money so I had to try to intercept the postman and rob the ESB/phone bills.
Back to my original point though, if your a spoiled c**t, 50% of your wages/dole. If your sound and contribute a lot anyway, throw in the odd 50 when you have it to spare (I need it for drinking means its spare).
First post, Hello boards!

osarusan

Just pointing out some of the insults you've been adding to the thread.

zarquon wrote: »

but it sounds like a pretty sh1t life to still be suckling at mammy's teet and nearly 30

zarquon wrote: »

You seriously must be trolling us now otherwise if you are genuine i pity your delusion.

zarquon wrote: »

Just a typical country bumpkin farmer's son conditioned by his father in the ways of 60's and 70's social atitudes! :eek:

zarquon wrote: »

You must be trolling! Either that or you another product of a spoilt childhood

zarquon wrote: »

I wouldn't get too worked up. If you parents teach you that you are special and god's gift to humanity chances are you will have an inflated ego and go around boasting how everything you have is bigger and better.

zarquon wrote: »

It really is cringeworthy redneck farmer's son stuff!

And as if insults weren't enough, let's throw in a few utterly unfounded specualtions.

zarquon wrote: »

i imagine his mother is quite xenophobic towards foreign girlfriends and boyfriends and this trait is handed down to the kids.

zarquon wrote: »

I bet if Nox told his mother that he was marrying a cork girl and moving to Cork permantly his parents would freak out particularly his mother.

Your high horse must be incredibly tall.

zarquon

osarusan wrote: »

Just pointing out some of the insults you've been adding to the thread.



And as if insults weren't enough, lets' throw in a few utterly unfounded specualtions.

Your high horse must be incredibly tall.

You are missing a lot of context. I took on a lot of initial abuse from certain people for having the audacity to suggest that moving out when i was a teenager had a more positive influence on my independence and therefore i suggest the same might be true generally. Some took great umbrage to such a suggestion and got personal pretty quickly by trolling me and i responded with my own thoughts.

There are 2 sides to every argument. You very conveniently have gone to a lot of trouble to only point out my side whilst ignoring the other and brushing it under the carpet. I must also point out that some of the aforementioned posts were in direct to attacks on not just me but other posters too. Once again you conveniently choose to ignore this fact for your own hidden agenda

One could easily suspect that you have an agenda. I don't know you or your contributions here so the fact that you chose to attack me with great effort tells me that some of posts may have struck a raw nerve with you. Either that or you have a hidden vested interested in standing up for certain posters!

Anyway if you are going to such levels to dissect one part of a debate/argument, please feel free to do the same to the other part other at least have the honesty to reveal your subjectivity :rolleyes:

Captain Flaps

Wow, reading this thread, it's almost like every family is different and there's no single correct answer because there are too many factors to consider. Who could have anticipated that this huge variety of factors wouldn't have resulted in a consensus from everyone in the thread?

Not me, that's for sure :pac:

osarusan

I haven't looked at this thread for a while, so I just finished reading the last 10 pages. And the thing that struck me the most was that you seemed to be incapable of making your points without insults and digs.

zarquon wrote: »

There are 2 sides to every argument. You very conveniently have gone to a lot of trouble to only point out my side whilst ignoring the other and brushing it under the carpet. I must also point out that some of the aforementioned posts were in direct to attacks on not just me but other posters too. Once again you conveniently choose to ignore this fact for your own hidden agenda

This isn't an argument. I'm simply pointing out the bile you're spewing. It's there, in your own words, for all to see.

zarquon wrote: »

One could easily suspect that you have an agenda. I don't know you or your contributions here so the fact that you chose to attack me with great effort tells me that some of posts may have struck a raw nerve with you. Either that or you have a hidden vested interested in standing up for certain posters!

You haven't struck a nerve. I moved out at 17 and never moved back. I live in Japan now, and see my parents once every two years at best. You will no doubt be impressed with my independence and maturity.

I don't know anything about Nox about from a lot of nonsense he posted on the Garth Brooks thread. I pointed that out to him too. You, of course, know nothing about his mother, but that didn't stop you making ridiculous hypotheticals about her.

I guess it's more comfortable for you to suspect you struck a nerve, or that I have an agenda, than admit you have gone too far. But, as I said, it's there for all to see in your quotes.

John_Rambo

John_Rambo wrote: »

I have to admire Nox's honestly. He didn't even try and pretend he paid for dinner!

Nox, has your mother ever cleaned your rented house?

No she hasn't.

zarquon wrote: »

You are missing a lot of context.

There are 2 sides to every argument.

You should re-read your own posts and take some advice from them. You and a number of other posters have attempted to build up a complete picture of me and put it out there like its complete fact based on one single comment, that being that I bring washing home. I would say almost every single thing you have attributed to me about me and my family are total nonsense and nowhere near the truth. It would take me all day to go through everything you have said and point out where you are wrong.

You have insulted me in a number of posts also.

zarquon

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

No she hasn't.



You should re-read your own posts and take some advice from them. You and a number of other posters have attempted to build up a complete picture of me and put it out there like its complete fact based on one single comment, that being that I bring washing home. I would say almost every single thing you have attributed to me about me and my family are total nonsense and nowhere near the truth. It would take me all day to go through everything you have said and point out where you are wrong.

You have insulted me in a number of posts also.

You mean like you have done with i and others on this thread that have a differing opinion to you. You purported i have a sh1t isolated life because i moved out as a teen! You then purported that anyone who has a similar experience is isolated from their family and deserves pity! You also boast that you will have a bigger and nicer house than others on this thread, without substantiation or evidence of the means of others! You state that you should have more rights than your sisters simply because you are a son! You also state that you do more for your parents that most others on this thread whilst not backing up that fairly outrageous and unsupported suggestion (although it could be true, still waiting for the Q.E.D. on that!)

We are going around in circles here, so lets just agree to disagree. I don't think it's healthy for men in their 20's 30's or 40's to be living at home and overly mothered and i have given real life examples and experiences as to why i have this opinion. You disagree and have given reason also. The two fields of thought are mutually exclusive and i see no room for agreement so it's pointless to discuss further as it will just lead to further escalation.

FTA69

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

You should re-read your own posts and take some advice from them. You and a number of other posters have attempted to build up a complete picture of me and put it out there like its complete fact based on one single comment, that being that I bring washing home.

It isn't just that though to be fair mate. In the course of this thread you've:
1) reacted with utter incredulity at the notion you should contribute to your household
2) said that others must have a terrible life because they live away from their parents
3) looked down on those who haven't built a massive house on a site gifted to them by their parents (typical strong farmer superiority there anyway)
4) declared you should have greater inheritance rights than your sisters because you were born with a nob.

That kind of stuff is a bit mad to be honest. You were well able to give as good as you got. Similarly, as others have said, the fact you're a grown man with a decent job and wage and still attached to your mother in that sort of way is frankly a bit odd.

McTigs

FTA69 wrote: »

Kash Noisy Room wrote: »

It isn't just that though to be fair mate. In the course of this thread you've:
1) reacted with utter incredulity at the notion you should contribute to your household
2) said that others must have a terrible life because they live away from their parents
3) looked down on those who haven't built a massive house on a site gifted to them by their parents (typical strong farmer superiority there anyway)
4) declared you should have greater inheritance rights than your sisters because you were born with a nob.

That kind of stuff is a bit mad to be honest. You were well able to give as good as you got. Similarly, as others have said, the fact you're a grown man with a decent job and wage and still attached to your mother in that sort of way is frankly a bit odd.

It's the getting a lift home after a night on the lash that I find the most bizzare