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Womens attitudes to previous sexual encounters see mod note post #1

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    #182
    um7y1h83ge06nx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,029 ✭✭✭um7y1h83ge06nx


    Aurora Green wrote: »
    How would you feel If she told you she had the same sexual history as the OP's ex?

    It would be a shock and vice versa if I told her I had 500 partners.

    At this stage though once I was over the initial shock I would get over it. That's because we have gotten to know each other so well over the 4 years.

    Although I'm not sure how I might react if I didn't know her as well e.g. if she told me within the first month or 2. It could bring doubts regarding faithfulness.

    That's my honest 2 cents.


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    #183
    Renegade Mechanic
    Registered Users Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    username123 wrote: »
    What on earth has previous promiscuity got to do with trust?

    If a person can cheat with you, they can cheat on you. That may be besides the point here but what matters is this : if someone has had, say, 8 partners in the last two or three years the chance of you landing a serious relationship (if that's what youre after) is very slim.


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    #184
    Buzz Killington the third
    Closed Accounts Posts: 938 ✭✭✭Buzz Killington the third


    Renegade Mechanic wrote: »
    If a person can cheat with you, they can cheat on you. That may be besides the point here but what matters is this : if someone has had, say, 8 partners in the last two or three years the chance of you landing a serious relationship (if that's what youre after) is very slim.

    8 in 3 years isn't even 3 a year. Even in 2 years it's 4 people a year. One every 3 months... that's in no way a bad thing for someone who's single.


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    #185
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Renegade Mechanic wrote: »
    If a person can cheat with you, they can cheat on you. That may be besides the point here but what matters is this : if someone has had, say, 8 partners in the last two or three years the chance of you landing a serious relationship (if that's what youre after) is very slim.

    Why?


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    #186
    nc19
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,395 ✭✭✭nc19


    Buzz Killington the third wrote: »
    Not one person has stated as such!

    When did i say anyone else has???


    I would consider myself a hero if i had such an encounter

    if you knew me you would consider me a miracle worker.......

    I am male btw


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    #187
    Buzz Killington the third
    Closed Accounts Posts: 938 ✭✭✭Buzz Killington the third


    nc19 wrote: »
    When did i say anyone else has???


    I would consider myself a hero if i had such an encounter

    if you knew me you would consider me a miracle worker.......

    I am male btw

    Well fair play, not many other people would think of you in such light.


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    #188
    Renegade Mechanic
    Registered Users Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    Buzz Killington the third wrote: »
    8 in 3 years isn't even 3 a year. Even in 2 years it's 4 people a year. One every 3 months... that's in no way a bad thing for someone who's single.


    Ill admit a poor choice of numbers but Im with the op on this. Mabye Im old fashioned but I think someones past accounts for an awful lot of how they are seen. I couldnt possibly trust someone like the Ops girlfriend.


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    #189
    D'Agger
    Registered Users Posts: 13,385 ✭✭✭✭D'Agger


    This seems to be wandering off topic the last few pages all, less lazy generalizations about members of the sex industry please


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    #190
    _Whimsical_
    Registered Users Posts: 7,955 ✭✭✭_Whimsical_


    I have no problem with people doing as they want ,it's their body after all. That said I could see how someone having had 500 partners in the past be an issue for a new partner on more than a level of moral judgement. It would definitely reflect an attitude to sex that could be incompatible with a partners perspective. If you're someone who thinks of sex as an intimate part of a relationship,something you consider a precious expression of a love you only have for one person in the world at that moment I'd say it'd feel very strange to be sharing the experience with someone who wouldn't find it odd if your 5 housemates sitting downstairs joined in.
    I suppose I'm saying it can reflect a fundamental difference in attitude to something that is a bedrock of a loving relationship. That's a big deal. I would completely respect someone who felt they couldn't make something work in that context. I think a man or a woman would be well within their rights to walk away on that basis.


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    #191
    whupdedo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,513 ✭✭✭whupdedo


    500 sexual partners over a 13 year period is about 39 partners and year, now allowing average period lasts about 5 days, that takes her out of the game for about 9 weeks ago year (I'm generalising) which means that she needed have sex with 3 different men every 22 days, I don't give a fcuk what the sexually liberated say, that's quite an achievement, and most guys wouldn't see her as the marrying kind


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    #192
    drumswan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,592 ✭✭✭drumswan


    Kyson Tangy Tumor wrote: »
    It would be a shock and vice versa if I told her I had 500 partners.

    At this stage though once I was over the initial shock I would get over it. That's because we have gotten to know each other so well over the 4 years.

    How well could you really know someone if you didnt know they'd had 500 partners though?


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    #193
    Fat Christy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Fat Christy


    h.bolla wrote: »
    You shouldnt sleep around.

    :confused:

    Why not? :confused: People can do as they so please, who am I to judge?

    Like other posters on here, what your your wan done in the past is really none of your business. The only thing that would concern me is STI/STD's, as long as they're clean, I don't really care.


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    #194
    drumswan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,592 ✭✭✭drumswan


    A woman having 500 sexual partners makes her less desirable as a potential long term partner for many men. Im not sure why people appear shocked by this.


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    #195
    beano345
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,105 ✭✭✭beano345


    IME a lot of girls lie about their number,its when you find out down the track that's the problem.if theyre not ashamed about it why the need to lie about it


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    #196
    Aurora Green
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭Aurora Green


    I think people automatically assume men who don't approve are insecure, but it could also be the case that it's a turn on for some men for their partner to be less experienced than they are.


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    #197
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    beano345 wrote: »
    IME a lot of girls lie about their number,its when you find out down the track that's the problem.if theyre not ashamed about it why the need to lie about it
    It might not be shame it might be fear of judgement, which in fairness is a pretty warranted fear.


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    #198
    beano345
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,105 ✭✭✭beano345


    Magaggie wrote: »
    It might not be shame it might be fear of judgement, which in fairness is a pretty warranted fear.

    Should be honest from the start let that person make up their own mind,I've seen this scenario end relationships later on when it comes to light


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    #199
    The Wild Bunch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,855 ✭✭✭The Wild Bunch


    Ok here's one for you.

    Hypotetically, current girlfriend won't do certain stuff with you that she did with an ex- is there a right to feel aggrieved?


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    #200
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,644 ✭✭✭Milly33


    I wouldn't be too worried about it.. Sure she was right it was when she was younger and she is not that person anymore.. I know tis crap as in that you will be thinking of it all the time but just get over it. From my knowing men are normally the sleeper rounders which there is nothing said about that so why should it be different just because the woman was doing the sleeping with..

    She didn't do the dirt on you, she told you that yeah she may have done some stuff at least she is being honest..

    Feck it stop being a tool and get over it


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    #201
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    How do you just get over something?
    She wasn't being honest for ages, that's the problem. And "she may have done some stuff" is a dishonest downplaying of it.
    She may not be a different person to when she was younger either.

    It would put me off a man, so I'm not making this about women only.


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    #202
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Magaggie wrote: »
    It would put me off a man, so I'm not making this about women only.

    That's totally fair enough and you are entitled to be put off by it. But if you are someone who would take issue with someone's past sexual history you should be upfront about that before settling into a serious relationship with them.

    It's important for honesty on ALL sides.


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    #203
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    whupdedo wrote: »
    500 sexual partners over a 13 year period is about 39 partners and year, now allowing average period lasts about 5 days, that takes her out of the game for about 9 weeks ago year (I'm generalising) which means that she needed have sex with 3 different men every 22 days, I don't give a fcuk what the sexually liberated say, that's quite an achievement, and most guys wouldn't see her as the marrying kind

    She might have been on a pill or using an IUS that suppressed her period.
    She might have been having sex throughout her period.

    Sex with 3 different men in 22 days is not a big deal anyway IMO. It's not even once a week.


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    #204
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,297 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    The Wild Bunch wrote: »
    Ok here's one for you.

    Hypotetically, current girlfriend won't do certain stuff with you that she did with an ex- is there a right to feel aggrieved?
    Two things; she may not have liked those things, and he's now an ex. The two could be directly related.
    Milly33 wrote: »
    From my knowing men are normally the sleeper rounders which there is nothing said about that so why should it be different just because the woman was doing the sleeping with..
    Men will multiply the number by about 5, and boast about who they shagged. As some men and women think women who sleep around are slags, sluts, marraige wreckers, etc, most women don't brag about who they shagged I'm imagine.

    But you have to realise that men and women getting sex is very much different. No matter how ugly or fat the woman is, if they want sex, they can pretty much get sex. "It may not be good sex, but it'll be sex"; I'll come back to this quote with where i read it from, it's some book about a womans sexual liberation who was never given "the talk" as she presumed her folks thought she'd die during the cold war, and when she hit 18, she went to London to become good at sex. Not so for lads.


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    #205
    mikom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    h.bolla wrote: »
    After a lot of rowing she admitted she had a 6-some one night (her and 5 other men) along with a dozen or 3-somes over the years and has lost count on the amount of drunken one night stands shes had with randomers. Oh and for most of her teens right up to her mid 20's she has always had 1 or 2 friends with benefits at any given time most of them lasting for 3-4 months. She guessed all in all that she'd had around 500 partners give or take.
    h.bolla wrote: »
    we had to have an absolute blazing row with her smashing the place before she finally admitted that there was a possiblity that I may not be her third sexual partner?
    I thought she was a bitch for letting me date her for years and never once felt the need to tell me about the 500 other guys she slept with.

    She sounds like a nutter.
    Imagine the poor eejit that has a child with her............... being linked forever to that yoke and all the "occasional" five sweaty ballsacks that slapped up against it.


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    #206
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Magaggie wrote: »
    One different partner per week - shur 'tis nothing! :D

    Nothing to her, she has had 6 at a time!


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    #207
    Holsten
    Registered Users Posts: 4,971 ✭✭✭Holsten


    The Wild Bunch wrote: »
    Ok here's one for you.

    Hypotetically, current girlfriend won't do certain stuff with you that she did with an ex- is there a right to feel aggrieved?

    Yeah I'd be very aggrieved.

    Personally in this situation I wouldn't know that as I don't want to know any details of any past sexual relationships. I had a boyfriend is enough info for me.

    Ignorance is bliss.


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    #208
    cluelez
    Registered Users Posts: 157 ✭✭cluelez


    OMG what I just read - Irish Girls! WOW


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    #209
    beano345
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,105 ✭✭✭beano345


    the_syco wrote: »
    Two things; she may not have liked those things, and he's now an ex. The two could be directly related.


    Men will multiply the number by about 5, and boast about who they shagged. As some men and women think women who sleep around are slags, sluts, marraige wreckers, etc, most women don't brag about who they shagged I'm imagine.

    But you have to realise that men and women getting sex is very much different. No matter how ugly or fat the woman is, if they want sex, they can pretty much get sex. "It may not be good sex, but it'll be sex"; I'll come back to this quote with where i read it from, it's some book about a womans sexual liberation who was never given "the talk" as she presumed her folks thought she'd die during the cold war, and when she hit 18, she went to London to become good at sex. Not so for lads.

    The rule of 3: multiply a women's answer by 3,divide a mans answer by 3 or so it goes


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    #210
    whupdedo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,513 ✭✭✭whupdedo


    username123 wrote: »
    She might have been on a pill or using an IUS that suppressed her period.
    She might have been having sex throughout her period.

    Sex with 3 different men in 22 days is not a big deal anyway IMO. It's not even once a week.


    Sex with 3 different partners in 22 days is not a big deal, but it kinda is when it's a constant average every 7 days,when you think of it its an amazing strike rate especially as she often had fcuk buddy's and other boyfriends along with all the 1 night stands

    also I'm no expert but I can't ever see many women go actively looking for 1 night stands while on their period


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    #211
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    whupdedo wrote: »
    Sex with 3 different partners in 22 days is not a big deal, but it kinda is when it's a constant average every 7 days,when you think of it its an amazing strike rate especially as she often had fcuk buddy's and other boyfriends along with all the 1 night stands

    also I'm no expert but I can't ever see many women go actively looking for 1 night stands while on their period

    Meh, it's a high strike rate no doubt but I can't see why that's a bad thing.

    Plenty of women have plenty of (not just vaginal) sex during their period.


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