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Single life as a guy...

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    #152
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    I don't know, never had a problem with having female friends that I was attracted to. Its not all about sex you know.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #153
    eeeee
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 6,827 Mod ✭✭✭✭eeeee


    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    No men and women can't be 'just friends'. How can they be, we wired to be attracted to the opposite sex. A woman will almost never sleep with her male friend but he will still lust after her. I've had girls tell me how betrayed they felt when a 'friend' suddenly declared he had been in love with her for years. Blows my mind that women will be friends with a guy and then freak out when he makes a move on her. What you thought he wanted to be your friend and get to know your beautiful mind? No, he wanted to sleep with you.

    And why do you feel sorry for me, why is my outlook so bad?

    Men and women can be friends. Just friends. They can find all the attributes of friendship in each other, without any sexual undercurrent. I know as I do it, have done it, and will do it in the future.
    I feel sorry for you because you have cut out half the population as friends, and it's really sad that you can't think beyond genitals in terms of friendship. It's very immature in my opinion, and emotionally under-developed too. You are saying you can't be friends with a member of the opposite sex without fancying them or wanting to sleep with them for feic sake! How is that in any way good?!!
    I feel sorry for you that you are missing out on half the population as friends, and saddened that a guy cannot in this day and age see a woman other than in terms of whether he wants to/would sleep with her or not. It's equally saddening the other way round too. It's 2014!


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    #154
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,294 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    No men and women can't be 'just friends'. How can they be, we wired to be attracted to the opposite sex.
    You are projecting your inability to have friends of the opposite gender on the entire population. I can assure you that most posters on here and people in general can have perfectly healthy non sexual relationships with both sexes. Personally I have female friends who I never even entertained the prospect of a relationship or sex with.


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    #155
    Privileged White Male
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Privileged White Male


    gadetra wrote: »
    Men and women can be friends. Just friends. They can find all the attributes of friendship in each other, without any sexual undercurrent. I know as I do it, have done it, and will do it in the future.
    I feel sorry for you because you have cut out half the population as friends, and it's really sad that you can't think beyond genitals in terms of friendship. It's very immature in my opinion, and emotionally under-developed too. You are saying you can't be friends with a member of the opposite sex without fancying them or wanting to sleep with them for feic sake! How is that in any way good?!!
    I feel sorry for you that you are missing out on half the population as friends, and saddened that a guy cannot in this day and age see a woman other than in terms of whether he wants to/would sleep with her or not. It's equally saddening the other way round too. It's 2014!

    Well I'm an old fashioned kind of guy. I believe there should be more segregation between the sexes. At this stage it almost feels unnatural trying to be friends with a woman. Besides, male friendships are simply more rewarding. I find men a lot more fun to hang out with. Similar outlooks and mentalities. With a woman I'd have to modify my behavior, be careful with the jokes I tell.

    Hey if you can be friends with a woman and it doesn't get complicated then more power to you. If I'm hanging out with a nice looking chick and we're joking around and having fun, sooner or later I'm going to become attracted to her and want more, can't help it.


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    #156
    Privileged White Male
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Privileged White Male


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    You are projecting your inability to have friends of the opposite gender on the entire population. I can assure you that most posters on here and people in general can have perfectly healthy non sexual relationships with both sexes. Personally I have female friends who I never even entertained the prospect of a relationship or sex with.

    It's not an inability. I did and still have female friends but I've made a conscious decision not to make any more. Maybe if I settle down and get married my outlook will change.


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    #157
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,294 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    It's not an inability. I did and still have female friends but I've made a conscious decision not to make any more. Maybe if I settle down and get married my outlook will change.

    How can you have female friends while asserting that 'men and women can't be 'just friends''?


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    #158
    Privileged White Male
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Privileged White Male


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    How can you have female friends while asserting that 'men and women can't be 'just friends''?

    Girls I got to know in school. And everyone of them I was attracted to. Sure I would consider them friends but hardly close friends. Now I'm older and wiser I understand better.


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    #159
    eeeee
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 6,827 Mod ✭✭✭✭eeeee


    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    Well I'm an old fashioned kind of guy. I believe there should be more segregation between the sexes. At this stage it almost feels unnatural trying to be friends with a woman. Besides, male friendships are simply more rewarding. I find men a lot more fun to hang out with. Similar outlooks and mentalities. With a woman I'd have to modify my behavior, be careful with the jokes I tell.

    Hey if you can be friends with a woman and it doesn't get complicated then more power to you. If I'm hanging out with a nice looking chick and we're joking around and having fun, sooner or later I'm going to become attracted to her and want more, can't help it.

    Wow. Old fashioned? No you are not old fashioned. You have problems man, big issues around women. I pity any poor unfortunate woman who ends up with someone as chauvinistic, sexist and emotionally damaged as you. You clearly don't respect women as equals, and the behaviour modification? Men more fun? Jesus christ. You have serious issues man.

    As a woman, I find no difference in friendships with men or women. I find differences with people alright, you share different things with different people and have different relationships with them, but based on your own and their personalities not their gender.


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    #160
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,294 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Mod note - ok guys less of the comments on posters personalities please. Attack the post, not the poster.


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    #161
    Privileged White Male
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Privileged White Male


    gadetra wrote: »
    Wow. Old fashioned? No you are not old fashioned. You have problems man, big issues around women. I pity any poor unfortunate woman who ends up with someone as chauvinistic, sexist and emotionally damaged as you. You clearly don't respect women as equals, and the behaviour modification? Men more fun? Jesus christ. You have serious issues man.

    As a woman, I find no difference in friendships with men or women. I find differences with people alright, you share different things with different people and have different relationships with them, but based on your own and their personalities not their gender.

    Ah you're a woman well that explains it. Guarantee you some of your wonderful male friends want to sleep with you.

    And I'm 'chauvinistic, sexist and emotionally damaged' simply because I have my own outlook and opinions on men and women? Seems anytime a man expresses an opinion on sex and relationships that goes against the grain, women freak and try and shame him.


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    #162
    eeeee
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 6,827 Mod ✭✭✭✭eeeee


    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    Ah you're a woman well that explains it. Guarantee you some of your wonderful male friends want to sleep with you.

    And I'm 'chauvinistic, sexist and emotionally damaged' simply because I have my own outlook and opinions on men and women? Seems anytime a man expresses an opinion on sex and relationships that goes against the grain, women freak and try and shame him.

    Eh? How exactly? Plenty of other posters have expressed a similar opinion.

    It's less that it 'goes against the grain' and more than it dismisses half the population as equals. This understandably dumbfounds me, as I am sure it would you if you read a message that stated that half the population deemed all Privilieged White Male's are only to be judged or related to in terms of one single human trait, nothing else. That is problematic, there can be no doubt about that.


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    #163
    Privileged White Male
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Privileged White Male


    gadetra wrote: »
    Eh? How exactly? Plenty of other posters have expressed a similar opinion.

    It's less that it 'goes against the grain' and more than it dismisses half the population as equals. This understandably dumbfounds me, as I am sure it would you if you read a message that stated that half the population deemed all Privilieged White Male's are only to be judged or related to in terms of one single human trait, nothing else. That is problematic, there can be no doubt about that.

    What's equality got to do with it? As I said before if I meet a girl and we get on and I find her attractive I start to like her, can't help it. So why make things more complicated than necessary?

    And a lot of radical feminists do have a problem with white men, but I'm not sure why you brought that up.


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    #164
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    I suppose it depends what way you look at it. You might think your view is right and nothing needs changing or, you might take the other point of view on board and think "maybe its a bit odd I can't make any new female friends".

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #165
    Fat Christy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Fat Christy


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    You are projecting your inability to have friends of the opposite gender on the entire population. I can assure you that most posters on here and people in general can have perfectly healthy non sexual relationships with both sexes. Personally I have female friends who I never even entertained the prospect of a relationship or sex with.

    I'm the same! I've always had male and female friends since I was a kid. I would actually find it really strange to just be friends with the same sex. I've never had one group of friends of the same sex, EVER.


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    #166
    Privileged White Male
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Privileged White Male


    K-9 wrote: »
    I suppose it depends what way you look at it. You might think your view is right and nothing needs changing or, you might take the other point of view on board and think "maybe its a bit odd I can't make any new female friends".

    Yeah that is a fair point and as I said my outlook might change when I'm happily married and raising a family. By right now as a young single man I know what I'm looking for and it ain't friendship. I have my men for my friends and I've always found male friendship far more rewarding.

    But I do think its laughable that I'm a 'chauvinistic pig' simplely for having my own view on men and women.


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    #167
    eeeee
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 6,827 Mod ✭✭✭✭eeeee


    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    What's equality got to do with it?

    Quite a lot. Equality is being related to as an equal, so relating to both genders equally. It's kind of the point!

    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    And a lot of radical feminists do have a problem with white men, but I'm not sure why you brought that up.

    I was trying to explain to you why someone would have a problem with he point of view you are projecting. I tried to inver it, but as I don't know you, I could not use your name so I used your user name instead. It sailed over your head. Never mind.
    On the feminist thing, feminism is about equality not male v female or race. It's not the 70's anymore and things have moved on. Not all feminism is radical, and actually radical feminism is incredibly rare, I can say I have honestly met none in my life so far, and I am a feminist and have been around a lot of feminists and studied feminism. Still never met one! Feminism is viewed with such suspicion, and almost always accompanied with the radical tag. It's not rules to live your life by, it's not about hating anyone or group. It's about establishing equality for all, not one to the detriment of the other. Thinking it is shows a lack of education on the matter frankly.
    Anyway that was a bit OT, apologies.


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    #168
    eeeee
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 6,827 Mod ✭✭✭✭eeeee


    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    Yeah that is a fair point and as I said my outlook might change when I'm happily married and raising a family. By right now as a young single man I know what I'm looking for and it ain't friendship. I have my men for my friends and I've always found male friendship far more rewarding.

    But I do think its laughable that I'm a 'chauvinistic pig' simplely for having my own view on men and women.

    No one called you a 'chauvinistic pig'.


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    #169
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,294 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    gadetra wrote: »
    Feminism is viewed with such suspicion, and almost always accompanied with the radical tag. It's not rules to live your life by, it's not about hating anyone or group. It's about establishing equality for all, not one to the detriment of the other. Thinking it is shows a lack of education on the matter frankly.
    Anyway that was a bit OT, apologies.
    But it is not about equality anymore as can be seen from the numerous articles that are currently being promoted by the popular media. But as you say it is off topic but should you wish to continue the discussion there are other threads in TGC that are discussing similar issues


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    #170
    Privileged White Male
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Privileged White Male


    gadetra wrote: »
    Quite a lot. Equality is being related to as an equal, so relating to both genders equally. It's kind of the point!


    I was trying to explain to you why someone would have a problem with he point of view you are projecting. I tried to inver it, but as I don't know you, I could not use your name so I used your user name instead. It sailed over your head. Never mind.
    On the feminist thing, feminism is about equality not male v female or race. It's not the 70's anymore and things have moved on. Not all feminism is radical, and actually radical feminism is incredibly rare, I can say I have honestly met none in my life so far, and I am a feminist and have been around a lot of feminists and studied feminism. Still never met one! Feminism is viewed with such suspicion, and almost always accompanied with the radical tag. It's not rules to live your life by, it's not about hating anyone or group. It's about establishing equality for all, not one to the detriment of the other. Thinking it is shows a lack of education on the matter frankly.
    Anyway that was a bit OT, apologies.

    Still don't see what 'equality' has to do it. I'm not hurting anyone. I have my way of living my life. A woman either likes me or she doesn't. If she rejects me it's no big deal.

    As for feminism, I've got strong opinions on it. I won't go into it here because we'll go off topic but feel free to pm me.


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    #171
    Fat Christy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Fat Christy


    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    No men and women can't be 'just friends'. How can they be, we wired to be attracted to the opposite sex.

    You sound like a guy I used to go out with, I think we lasted 2 weeks. He basically told me all my male friends were bullies and they all wanted to sleep with me, even though 2 were gay and the rest were in relationships.

    He then went on to say that I would have to choose, them or him. So I said 'so long sucker'. One of them guys has been my best friend since I was 12, yer man didn't stand a chance.

    I forgot mention I was a raging lesbian, so it wasn't just men he'd have to worry about. :pac:

    Not saying your that bad, your post just reminded me of him. :P


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    #172
    eeeee
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 6,827 Mod ✭✭✭✭eeeee


    Pawwed Rig wrote: »
    But it is not about equality anymore as can be seen from the numerous articles that are currently being promoted by the popular media. But as you say it is off topic but should you wish to continue the discussion there are other threads in TGC that are discussing similar issues

    I disagree, it is definitely not the dominant rhetoric or ideology, in the media or mainstream, but there are other places to discuss it.


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    #173
    Privileged White Male
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Privileged White Male


    gadetra wrote: »
    No one called you a 'chauvinistic pig'.

    I'm pretty sure someone did.

    Funny too how you're so into gender equality but as soon as a man expresses an opinion you don't like then hes suddenly sexist, chauvinist, is emotionally underdeveloped etc

    You can of course disagree with me, but why all the insults and emotive language?


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    #174
    eeeee
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 6,827 Mod ✭✭✭✭eeeee


    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure someone did.

    Read over the thread. They did not. I called your attitude chauvinistic, but you labelled yourself a chauvinistic pig all by yourself!


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    #175
    Privileged White Male
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Privileged White Male


    gadetra wrote: »
    Read over the thread. They did not. I called your attitude chauvinistic, but you labelled yourself a chauvinistic pig all by yourself!

    But whats so wrong with my attitude? I'm not hurting anyone.


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    #176
    ElecKtrA
    Registered Users Posts: 321 ✭✭ElecKtrA


    seachto7 wrote: »
    Pros: Doing what you want, when you want, whenever you want, to suit you and nobody else.

    Cons: You get so used to your own time, and doing things to suit yourself, that it is a shock to have to curb this, or sacrifice this to spend time with someone else. Of course, if they are worth it, it won't be such an ordeal, but I do think you can get very used to your own company and your own schedule.

    Hi,

    I'm a single girl (I don't even know if I'm allowed to post in here but anyway...:p)... I couldn't agree more with the 'con's' !!! :o Ugh!! I suppose it also boils down to the fact if you're willing to change your ways in order to accommodate someone else in your life. I'm not anti-relationship (or maybe I am ..and I'm just in denial :rolleyes:) but it's definitely not good to have your own way all the time as a single person - because then you would be more reluctant to change ..that is the case with me anyway, I think :( But I also think...if you are seeing someone and you really do ''click'' then you wouldn't view your change in lifestyle as anything negative :)


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    #177
    eeeee
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 6,827 Mod ✭✭✭✭eeeee


    Privileged White Male wrote: »
    But whats so wrong with my attitude? I'm not hurting anyone.

    I have tried to explain why your attitude can be problematic. It's what the recent discussion has been about. I would suggest a read over what has been already said to find points opposed to your own.


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    #178
    Onthe3rdDay
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,194 ✭✭✭Onthe3rdDay


    ElecKtrA wrote: »
    Hi,

    I'm a single girl (I don't even know if I'm allowed to post in here but anyway...:p)... I couldn't agree more with the 'con's' !!! :o Ugh!! I suppose it also boils down to the fact if you're willing to change your ways in order to accommodate someone else in your life. I'm not anti-relationship (or maybe I am ..and I'm just in denial :rolleyes:) but it's definitely not good to have your own way all the time as a single person - because then you would be more reluctant to change ..that is the case with me anyway, I think :( But I also think...if you are seeing someone and you really do ''click'' then you wouldn't view your change in lifestyle as anything negative :)

    If you have to change your ways in any major sense for a relationship, then you're in the wrong relationship. In a good relationship it should feel like you're getting your own way most of the time without any effort...for both parties.

    I sometimes wonder looking at friends in relationships, really putting themselves out for the other person. There is no bad girl or guy, just two people that really shouldn't be together, but the fear of being alone makes certain individuals do daft things.


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    #179
    Pawwed Rig
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 22,294 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Mod note - Gadetra and PWM enough already


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    #180
    Onthe3rdDay
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,194 ✭✭✭Onthe3rdDay


    Privileged White Male wrote: »

    You ran into the mother hen. I've experienced this too. Girls get 'protective' about their friends, more likely its jealousy.

    9 times out of 10 it's jealously. These protective Girls aren't looking out for their friends, it's usually that they're control freaks. I used to come across them all the time when I was in my 20's in College. I would only be talking to a girl with no other motive than a chat and you'd get this type causing a distraction, or even in one case directly intervening. You could say I was the problem but all my male friends encountered the same behaviour from the same girls. It was a throwback to school days in some form.


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    #181
    Privileged White Male
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Privileged White Male


    Onthe3rdDay wrote: »
    9 times out of 10 it's jealously. These protective Girls aren't looking out for their friends, it's usually that they're control freaks. I used to come across them all the time when I was in my 20's in College. I would only be talking to a girl with no other motive than a chat and you'd get this type causing a distraction, or even in one case directly intervening. You could say I was the problem but all my male friends encountered the same behaviour from the same girls. It was a throwback to school days in some form.

    Yeah for sure. I've learned that when you're chatting up a girl you've always, always, got to win over the friends, otherwise you'll be cockblocked for sure.


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