Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Hugo Stiglitz

Well done for not self harming Dobz

Gremlinertia

I'm with Hugo there - well done on the self harm front. It's hard to stop.. Anyway welcome to thread, least I don't think I've seen you here before.. :-)

dobz95

Thanks folks! I agree its hard to stop, I don't even have pencil-sharpeners knocking about my room anymore stopped it all! Feels good to be able to wear short sleeves top again too!

worded

This fellow is very interesting / imaginative - hope you enjoy it

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rj34nSnxg6c

Gremlinertia

It's exactly the "little" things like that that make things a small bit easier.. Wearing long sleeves in this heat is a reminder, and in my case anyway, I tend to feel guilty or ashamed. So well done Dobz, here's to another eighty!.

blackkeyes

Hello everybody.
I'm going to keep this short. I just need some advice.
My friend admitted to me and another person that she cuts her leg and showed them to us and broke down in front of us. It was the first time she had ever let anyone know how she feels and we're the only ones that know. The other guy gets therapy for his own problems. I haven't done anything about this since I found out and we haven't even talked about it.
What should I do?
She's 18.. I am starting to realise this is now my responsibility to help her.
But how?

Gremlinertia

blackkeyes wrote: »

Hello everybody.
I'm going to keep this short. I just need some advice.
My friend admitted to me and another person that she cuts her leg and showed them to us and broke down in front of us. It was the first time she had ever let anyone know how she feels and we're the only ones that know. The other guy gets therapy for his own problems. I haven't done anything about this since I found out and we haven't even talked about it.
What should I do?
She's 18.. I am starting to realise this is now my responsibility to help her.
But how?

Hi, well done for asking advice - there's a sticky at the top of the page with many numbers and addresses for various bodies that can help in this situation. Your friend has made a huge first step in admitting this to you, hopefully she will be able to avail of something that pieta house in particular can help with, as she is exactly the person they want to help.. If you need further advice or help don't hesitate to post, or if you prefer you can pm.. Something to bear in mind also - this is a stressful situation for you too, make sure you stay well..

dobz95

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's exactly the "little" things like that that make things a small bit easier.. Wearing long sleeves in this heat is a reminder, and in my case anyway, I tend to feel guilty or ashamed. So well done Dobz, here's to another eighty!.

cheers Gremlinertia to another 80 is right! sorry to hear that the wearing of long sleeves and how its guilty or ashamed, I know exactly that feeling as you can imagine! I've realised its a feel but you have nothing to be guilty or ashamed about! You and I and all others must remember we are all worth more then any piece of metal we put against or skin!

dobz95

blackkeyes wrote: »

Hello everybody.
I'm going to keep this short. I just need some advice.
My friend admitted to me and another person that she cuts her leg and showed them to us and broke down in front of us. It was the first time she had ever let anyone know how she feels and we're the only ones that know. The other guy gets therapy for his own problems. I haven't done anything about this since I found out and we haven't even talked about it.
What should I do?
She's 18.. I am starting to realise this is now my responsibility to help her.
But how?

I also have been in a position similar in which somebody has SH and only told me about it. It stressful for you and even more so for the person! there are many many reputable websites that can give you great help in helping your friend. Tell her there are sites soo, places on line to anonymously talk to people about it and get feedback. Afew, I suppose helping points you could look at are:
- Ask how they are feeling
- Do not be judgemental
- Do not make them feel guilty about the effect it is having on others
- Let the person who self-harms know that you want to listen to them and hear how they are feeling when they feel ready and able to talk.
- When they do discuss it with you be compassionate and respect what the person is telling you, even though you may not understand or find it difficult to accept what they are doing.
- Do not give ultimatums such as 'If you don't stop self-harming you have to move out'. This is not helpful and it won't work.
- Understand that it is a long and hard journey to stop self-harming. Be aware that someone will only stop self-harming when they feel ready and able to do so.


and remember, "Look at the individual, not the harm. Look at the person beyond the scars. Scars are not important. The person that did them is important."

blackkeyes

I am pretty understanding and I think she knows that. I'm aware of how common mental health issues are and I've other friends with depression and anxiety. Even though I'm a pretty content person, I do worry sometimes because these are people I care about. Thank you for your replies!
I feel the need to do something to help this particular friend though because I'm the only person who can right now.

Gremlinertia

Try not to get too bogged down, ok?. Also aware are a good group for people like you that want to support a friend.. if you are based roughly near a city you'll have one group or another within close range. Fair play to you, mind yourself..

stinkle

Jeeeeeeez. Anxiety has hit me like a ton of bricks today. I've had a good few weeks, had some nice things going on and despite stress was doing ok. I was away and felt meh going back to work. I've made the decision to finish up work at the end of this month - I'm hopefully emigrating in Sept/Oct, which is a whole other post.

I've spent a lot of time stressing over my current job and while I had a chance to stay on for a bit and keep earning, I feel I owe it to myself to take some time out. Anyone close to me who knows my situation agrees that I need some space from this toxic place. However, I am now feeling pressured to get lots done (there;s stuff I can trust other people to take over after I'm gone), and I think my current boss may be annoyed I'm not staying. I know I'm probably being my usual hard on myself and I really dont care what anyone thinks of me - I know my mind well enough to realise that I need to look after my physical and mental health, and another few weeks in that place will burn me out.

Kinda needed to vent there. I went for a walk earlier but felt just as bad when I got back to my desk. Im working late and was in early and really just want to cry/sleep. Ive found some Xanax in my bag that I didnt know I packed and am tempted to take one but am afraid I'll fall asleep here! Breathing is only helping so much too. Hate feeling like this

Roquentin

stinkle wrote: »

Jeeeeeeez. Anxiety has hit me like a ton of bricks today. I've had a good few weeks, had some nice things going on and despite stress was doing ok. I was away and felt meh going back to work. I've made the decision to finish up work at the end of this month - I'm hopefully emigrating in Sept/Oct, which is a whole other post.

I've spent a lot of time stressing over my current job and while I had a chance to stay on for a bit and keep earning, I feel I owe it to myself to take some time out. Anyone close to me who knows my situation agrees that I need some space from this toxic place. However, I am now feeling pressured to get lots done (there;s stuff I can trust other people to take over after I'm gone), and I think my current boss may be annoyed I'm not staying. I know I'm probably being my usual hard on myself and I really dont care what anyone thinks of me - I know my mind well enough to realise that I need to look after my physical and mental health, and another few weeks in that place will burn me out.

Kinda needed to vent there. I went for a walk earlier but felt just as bad when I got back to my desk. Im working late and was in early and really just want to cry/sleep. Ive found some Xanax in my bag that I didnt know I packed and am tempted to take one but am afraid I'll fall asleep here! Breathing is only helping so much too. Hate feeling like this

i just keep picturing the horizon (emigration). Maybe that might help you feel better.

Anxiety is a strange thing. Despite what people think there is no flick on/off switch. If there was sports athletes would not feel pressure or that moment before exams would be much nicer.

stinkle

Very true! Oddly you should mention exams, I've even been having anxious dreams lately, some involving exams! Am a little bit better cos I distracted myself. Maybe going for a walk in that heat wasnt that helpful really. I did some "emigration planning" there and it helped too, as opposed to making me even more overwhelmed! I was a little sad walking around too, knowing Ill be leaving my home at some stage. The sad/happy is ebbing and flowing.

I've gone from definitely taking anxiety meds later to probably not. I'm defo gonna shower and read a book - no tv, no internet, no work thoughts.

I found out earlier that I've to speak at a meeting this week and I'm v underprepared for it - I said in my last post I'm always v hard on myself so its prob not that bad. It was kinda sprung on me which is why I think my boss isnt best pleased with me. I guess I dont want my last few days here to be even more negative than they already are. I've been away a lot and had a lot on, so I doubt much is even expected of me at this meeting, but as usual I feel pressured (by myself) to do well. I'm only human *breathe*

Roquentin

stinkle wrote: »

Very true! Oddly you should mention exams, I've even been having anxious dreams lately, some involving exams! Am a little bit better cos I distracted myself. Maybe going for a walk in that heat wasnt that helpful really. I did some "emigration planning" there and it helped too, as opposed to making me even more overwhelmed! I was a little sad walking around too, knowing Ill be leaving my home at some stage. The sad/happy is ebbing and flowing.

I've gone from definitely taking anxiety meds later to probably not. I'm defo gonna shower and read a book - no tv, no internet, no work thoughts.

I found out earlier that I've to speak at a meeting this week and I'm v underprepared for it - I said in my last post I'm always v hard on myself so its prob not that bad. It was kinda sprung on me which is why I think my boss isnt best pleased with me. I guess I dont want my last few days here to be even more negative than they already are. I've been away a lot and had a lot on, so I doubt much is even expected of me at this meeting, but as usual I feel pressured (by myself) to do well. I'm only human *breathe*

Those meetings alright drove me insane when i was on placement in college. I quickly realized the professional life wasnt for me given the anxiety i felt. Wouldnt be able to sleep and was drinking and smoking like a tank.

I remember speaking to man who was retired and we were discussing some suicide of recent and he was saying we all take to stress differently. some people can handle mortgages, family, work and the whole lot, while others cant.

I consider myself fortunate that i found out my limitations pretty early on. I have a poor tolerance of stress, very poor. If i had to pay a mortgage and work in a professional job, id lose it. I just cant take that level of stress.

Looking for minimum wage jobs now. I probably wont have as much money, but i will be happy and thats what matters.

All i can say is dont worry, you wont be seeing these people for a long time or perhaps ever again.

stinkle

True, its a silly thing to worry about. I got a hard time the last time I spoke and havent much else to talk about since - the more up-to-date information will be like a red rag to a bull in terms of certain people giving me grief so I guess that's why I'm antsy.

I genuinely thought about opting out of this career today alright, I know exactly where youre coming from re: being on less money but happy. I dont even know if I'll get social welfare once I finish, but I dont care at this stage. I may go see a doc soon but I also know this job is a huge trigger for my anxiety and hopefully once I'm free it'll help.

Thanks for the support, it means a lot when someone can relate to a post! Are you emigrating too?

Roquentin

stinkle wrote: »

True, its a silly thing to worry about. I got a hard time the last time I spoke and havent much else to talk about since - the more up-to-date information will be like a red rag to a bull in terms of certain people giving me grief so I guess that's why I'm antsy.

I genuinely thought about opting out of this career today alright, I know exactly where youre coming from re: being on less money but happy. I dont even know if I'll get social welfare once I finish, but I dont care at this stage. I may go see a doc soon but I also know this job is a huge trigger for my anxiety and hopefully once I'm free it'll help.

Thanks for the support, it means a lot when someone can relate to a post! Are you emigrating too?

Looking at the cork or dublin next although the rents are so high in dublin its not economical. I have been eyeing up the uk for a while alright.

Dont think il go as far as canada or austrailia given my mentality.

Really dying to get doing labour work like on the buildings or something. That would suit me down to the ground. Feel guilty being paid for doing nothing.

Actually to cheer you up there is a film called Office Space. Really funny about a guy whose working in a job he hates. its on netflix. worth checking out.

stinkle

Ooh I miht watch it later alright, love chilling with a movie rather than faffing on internet or channel surfing. Less than an hour to go in work, yippee!!!

handbagmad

This motherfukin heat is insane or driving me insane.
Come back winter,all is forgiven

Hugo Stiglitz

handbagmad wrote: »

This motherfukin heat is insane or driving me insane.
Come back winter,all is forgiven

Yeah I don't function good in this weather lol

handbagmad

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Yeah I don't function good in this weather lol

I don't know what to do with myself.
The dog has the right idea, sleeping on the tiles in the bathroom, may just join him

NegativeCreep

Was just about to post about the heat. Makes me feel like I can't breath and anxiety gets a million times worse. Had friends over and had to rush them out the door because it was so bad sick of this. Trip to the doctor tomorrow maybe

Hugo Stiglitz

handbagmad wrote: »

I don't know what to do with myself.
The dog has the right idea, sleeping on the tiles in the bathroom, may just join him

Sounds like a plan to me

Esel

Not often I would recommend a night on the tiles, but in the current climate...

Sleeping with just a sheet for cover might work too.

Hugo Stiglitz

Esel wrote: »

Not often I would recommend a night on the tiles, but in the current climate...

Sleeping with just a sheet for cover might work too.

I might sleep without the covers altogether

NightOwl88

Arli folks,been spooking this forum for a while,it never ceases to amaze me how everybody understands what everyone else... I been going thru very bad six months,nearly killed my self in January,broke up with my Oh,moved out... Got put on suspension in work for wild and completely untrue allegation one of my x's friends made,and the process to clear my name has been so long and drawn out buy senior management.. We all know what big companies are like so won't bore ye any more with details..;-)
Anyway,I'm on here first to thank u all,reading how u guys open up and talked and help each other.. makes me realise that it's somethin I gotta do first and hopefully be able help some u folk out too,I definitely owe a debt!? Thanks folks

cloud493

I'm also sleeping on the floor in this weather. Wooden floor is much cooler than my bed.

Roquentin

cloud493 wrote: »

I'm also sleeping on the floor in this weather. Wooden floor is much cooler than my bed.

i have a fan and leave the windows open. Stuffy as hell though i must admit

stinkle

Feeling crap in anticipation of this stupid meeting. I never used to get like that, which annoys me all the more. Am telling myself that I can't control what other people will do or say and to just be strong in myself. I'm leaving soon and shoudlnt even care, but maybe I'd like to not finish up with a bad memory of the place.

Went to bed late cos I was working on this, but slept ok actually. Woke early feeling refreshed and it took a while for me to remember I had a rough day looming. Then the utter dread just kicked in, though as usual once I got up and kept busy it quashed it a little. Im considering taking an anti-anxiety med, but also want to see how I get on without, and I dont really want to be sleepy later on today.

Just want this hell to be over and make a fresh start. Maybe it's all for the best, I'll be happier about making the fresh start.

Roquentin

stinkle wrote: »

Feeling crap in anticipation of this stupid meeting. I never used to get like that, which annoys me all the more. Am telling myself that I can't control what other people will do or say and to just be strong in myself. I'm leaving soon and shoudlnt even care, but maybe I'd like to not finish up with a bad memory of the place.

Went to bed late cos I was working on this, but slept ok actually. Woke early feeling refreshed and it took a while for me to remember I had a rough day looming. Then the utter dread just kicked in, though as usual once I got up and kept busy it quashed it a little. Im considering taking an anti-anxiety med, but also want to see how I get on without, and I dont really want to be sleepy later on today.

Just want this hell to be over and make a fresh start. Maybe it's all for the best, I'll be happier about making the fresh start.

i know the feeling. Thats why i jumped ship. Youd be anxious and then when you complete the meeting or project you feel better, but then the next project or meeting brings about the same anxiety.

I couldnt live like that. Other than meds its hard to treat. Maybe the new job will be less stressful.

What area of work are you employed in?