Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

scrimshanker

I'm too sad to sleep.

The last couple of days I've noticed how fat I've gotten. I just don't have any willpower to start doing anything about it. It's just going to steadily chip away at my self esteem.

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

I'm too sad to sleep.

The last couple of days I've noticed how fat I've gotten. I just don't have any willpower to start doing anything about it. It's just going to steadily chip away at my self esteem.

*hugs*

When we're down, we tend to judge ourselves far too harshly and our mirrors can lie.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

I'm too sad to sleep.

The last couple of days I've noticed how fat I've gotten. I just don't have any willpower to start doing anything about it. It's just going to steadily chip away at my self esteem.

I'm in the exact same boat. I know I'm putting on weight. I know I'm eating too much. I feel like I can't stop. If you don't mind me asking what weight are you? Tonight I had a takeaway followed by a magnum and can of coke. I just finished a snack of a can and nearly a full packet of oreos. I'm seriously considering overeaters annoymous.

scrimshanker

greenfrogs wrote: »

I'm in the exact same boat. I know I'm putting on weight. I know I'm eating too much. I feel like I can't stop. If you don't mind me asking what weight are you? Tonight I had a takeaway followed by a magnum and can of coke. I just finished a snack of a can and nearly a full packet of oreos. I'm seriously considering overeaters annoymous.

Just checked, as of this moment I'm 9st3. First time over the 9 stone mark ever. That's half a stone in a couple of months. Awful. I'm 5'6 and small framed so I don't carry any excess well at all. I disgust myself.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Just checked, as of this moment I'm 9st3. First time over the 9 stone mark ever. That's half a stone in a couple of months. Awful. I'm 5'6 and small framed so I don't carry any excess well at all. I disgust myself.

I'm 5 4 and can't remember being under the 9 stone mark. I'm also around 10st 3. I don't carry extra weight well either but it's so hard not to eat. I was about a stone lighter in February/March. It's very frustrating.

I learned recently in therapy to practise self love about your body. Don't call yourself nasty names because of your weight. Motivate and encourage yourself, don't insult yourself. Usually I call myself fat ass but it's counterproductive.

Hugo Stiglitz

I'm an embarrassing weight here. My height stops me from being spherical, but it makes me rather top heavy. A prize catch indeed.

scrimshanker

greenfrogs wrote: »

I'm 5 4 and can't remember being under the 9 stone mark. I'm also around 10st 3. I don't carry extra weight well either but it's so hard not to eat. I was about a stone lighter in February/March. It's very frustrating.

I learned recently in therapy to practise self love about your body. Don't call yourself nasty names because of your weight. Motivate and encourage yourself, don't insult yourself. Usually I call myself fat ass but it's counterproductive.

Yeah it's so difficult, and I know the meds have changed my taste preferences. I used to be very apathetic about sweet things, now I'm adding sugar all over the place. I haven't sweetened hot drinks since about age 8 but now they get sugar added. And I don't have the energy to exercise, plus my joints are all destroyed so even if I had the energy I still couldn't do anything about intense exercise. I just really hate myself at the moment.

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

I just really hate myself at the moment.

I'm sure most here feel like that too. Our own heads shouldn't be our worst enemies. It's not fair at all.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Yeah it's so difficult, and I know the meds have changed my taste preferences. I used to be very apathetic about sweet things, now I'm adding sugar all over the place. I haven't sweetened hot drinks since about age 8 but now they get sugar added. And I don't have the energy to exercise, plus my joints are all destroyed so even if I had the energy I still couldn't do anything about intense exercise. I just really hate myself at the moment.

What about light exercise such as walking or maybe swimming. That's strange about the sugar thing. I have always had a sweet tooth.

I get the self hate thing. I wish I was more toned but I don't have the motivation to do it. I checked and your bmi is on the lower range of the scale so try not to let it get to you.

scrimshanker

Yeah the problem is any time I catch sight of myself in the mirror I am disgusted. I feel like curling up and awaiting death.

Sorry for all the negativity guys

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

Sorry for all the negativity guys

No apology needed, Scrim. This is the place to talk about such issues.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

Yeah the problem is any time I catch sight of myself in the mirror I am disgusted. I feel like curling up and awaiting death.

Sorry for all the negativity guys

Body image issues seem to quite common amongst us. I find the worse my mood, the less confident I am in my body. If i'm negative about my body is it usually a sign that I'm feeling down.

Sometimes I listen to meaghan trainor all about that bass on full blast on my ipod.

Even though there are certain things about the way I look that would bring tears to my eyes. I have loads of cellulite. I actually hate that more than my weight. But I don't think I'll ever manage to get rid of it. It does bring my self esteem down I must admit.

scrimshanker

I had cellulite when I was 13 years old and a size 0. Rotten stuff. It's heartbreaking. No matter how thin or toned I get, I will always be plagued with the stuff.

I think my body image has always been poor. I look back at photos of me at 18, 19, 20 ish, when I was barely 8 stone and a size 6-8 and it's so upsetting that I looked great but couldn't see it. I just saw flaws everywhere. Wish I had enjoyed it while I had it. But I think I've always disliked myself.

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

I had cellulite when I was 13 years old and a size 0. Rotten stuff. It's heartbreaking. No matter how thin or toned I get, I will always be plagued with the stuff.

I think my body image has always been poor. I look back at photos of me at 18, 19, 20 ish, when I was barely 8 stone and a size 6-8 and it's so upsetting that I looked great but couldn't see it. I just saw flaws everywhere. Wish I had enjoyed it while I had it. But I think I've always disliked myself.

I am so ashamed of my cellulite. I wouldn't dream of wearing a skirt without tights. I spend hours online looking at pics of celebrities to see if they have cellulite. In some light it looks ok but other times it goes all the way down to behind my knees. I feel no man would ever want me if he sees that. It revolts me so I feel it will revolt them as well.

I bet in 10 years, you'll look back on photos you have taken recently and think you looked fab but you couldn't see it. We are so self critical on the way we look. Our eyes seem to zoom in on our flaws rather than our good points.

Hugo Stiglitz

F it anyway.

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

F it anyway.

What up mon?

freudiangirl

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Well they could do so I believe, my gp makes adjustments on mine if needed.. I hope you manage rest tonight.

Got through last night. ..need to get ready for day trip
Still . struggling feeling quite ill today- kinda flurry and sick . probably over the media

Any tips on surviving a noisy day when you can't handle it atall

Gremlinertia

Could you have headphones with some chillout music? Get into breathing deeply and calmly too if you can. Lame advice, i'm sorry.

freudiangirl

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Could you have headphones with some chillout music? Get into breathing deeply and calmly too if you can. Lame advice, i'm sorry.

That's my plan for.bua trips. It the rest of the day us my issue

Gremlinertia

I hope you get through as ok as possible..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

What up mon?

Ah just the usual late night despair there, Grem.

freudiangirl

*Trigger warning*hey hope everyone had a good sunday.
I survived today. Social anxiety is major again (wondering is it due to stopping effexor ) but I don't think so. Even people talking to me is getting on my nerves.

Couldn't really hack noise or crowds today. Was sitting on my own on bus so avoided this for a bit.

I have a tightness in My chest and don't know if it's stress/anxiety or as a result of extra medicines. Just feeling wonky- blowing hot and cold ...chatty chatty to cranky in 2 seconds.

Thing is though anxiety is remaining the same despite extra mess. It's just I am less likely to react after taking them.

I'm scared as to what St pats will suggest when they pick up my message. I am guessing they will tell gp and I really feel unable to tell him. I am dreading too that I will be referred back to my old psychiatrist over there past week. I can't face here.

alaskayoung

Agh so scared about going to orientation tomorrow. I won't know a soul there but hopefully there'll be some others in the same situation. Keep trying to find any excuse in the world for me not to go but it can't be nearly as bad as I'm imagining. I can do this. I can do this. One day at a time

Hugo Stiglitz

alaskayoung wrote: »

Agh so scared about going to orientation tomorrow. I won't know a soul there but hopefully there'll be some others in the same situation. Keep trying to find any excuse in the world for me not to go but it can't be nearly as bad as I'm imagining. I can do this. I can do this. One day at a time

You CAN do this!

alaskayoung

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

You CAN do this!

Thank you Hugo

Gremlinertia

Freudiangirl - you made it through today, for that well done.. Would writing down your fears about the phone call from pat's help?. That way you could point out what you feel worried about as they suggest doctor and/or old psych. I go to pieces on the phone very easily so I try to have notes at hand to help me not panic and hang up..

Alaskayoung - everyone will be nervous and overwhelmed tomorrow.. It'll be the first time out for loads. Deep breaths and rant here when needed..

timecurve12

I'm one of those people who dreams about doing things, but never does them. I find it so difficult to get myself to do anything. I piss about and waste most of my time, watching life go by. I have no idea how to stop doing this, I find it so hard to do anything. It's like a train wreck in slow motion, and it keep getting worse as time goes on, and the kicker is - it's all my fault.

Gremlinertia

Hi Timecurve, the way the world works it's awfully easy to fall into a rut. I've been in one since my teens despite knowing how mentally and physically damaging it has been to me it just seemed easier to remain, the fear of change has always been too great. However I'm finding my dbt course very good - are you getting any treatment? There are exercises on youtube for meditation style mindfulness etc. Perhaps try them out and see? It's notyour fault, it's a world that shakes us off if we don't conform enough..

Hugo Stiglitz

timecurve12 wrote: »

I'm one of those people who dreams about doing things, but never does them. I find it so difficult to get myself to do anything. I piss about and waste most of my time, watching life go by. I have no idea how to stop doing this, I find it so hard to do anything. It's like a train wreck in slow motion, and it keep getting worse as time goes on, and the kicker is - it's all my fault.

I'm the very same, TC.

I think a part of me just doesn't want to try anything, be it for fear of failure or rejection.

timecurve12

Grem - thanks so much. I do hope to get out of this rut. I find it hard to get going - I have very high expectations, I worry about things, get overwhelmed. I do feel like I don't fit into this world too, and don't know how to change things to be more accepted. I've been reading all the posts about dbt here and it sounds good, don't know if I'd qualify for it but maybe I'll do it too one day.