Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

Diamond Doll

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Might be best to mention it to your GP or psych the next time you're talking to them, DD. Like your said, it's ok there now but could make you feel kinda spacey when you get back to work again.

Ah yeah, but then there's the dilemma that it really seems to be working for my anxiety and panic attacks. Whereas if I switch to something else, it'll feel like I'm starting from scratch again. I asked if I could just take both tablets at night but he said no. Will bring it up again anyways at the next appointment.

Hugo Stiglitz

Diamond Doll wrote: »

Ah yeah, but then there's the dilemma that it really seems to be working for my anxiety and panic attacks. Whereas if I switch to something else, it'll feel like I'm starting from scratch again. I asked if I could just take both tablets at night but he said no. Will bring it up again anyways at the next appointment.

I faced a dilemma like that before too. Don't fret though, a solution could very well be found.

Diamond Doll

Thanks Hugo. This is This Little Piggy btw. I fancied a new look!

Hugo Stiglitz

Diamond Doll wrote: »

Thanks Hugo. This is This Little Piggy btw. I fancied a new look!

Oink oink! :pac:

scrimshanker

I swear to god I am finding losing weight to be the hardest thing ever. I'm only on day 2 (trying to retrain my appetite) and I've been so hungry all day, trying to convince myself it's not hunger. I had extra with my lunch and then scoffed a load of bread with my dinner. Good grief. It's just so hard. I even really missed the sugar on my cornflakes, not even for the taste but the nice crunchyness.

Diamond Doll

scrimshanker wrote: »

I swear to god I am finding losing weight to be the hardest thing ever. I'm only on day 2 (trying to retrain my appetite) and I've been so hungry all day, trying to convince myself it's not hunger. I had extra with my lunch and then scoffed a load of bread with my dinner. Good grief. It's just so hard. I even really missed the sugar on my cornflakes, not even for the taste but the nice crunchyness.

I've recently joined Slimming World, I actually find their strategy really good! You actually really can eat what you want when you want, within certain parameters. And the weekly weigh-in really helps with motivation! I'm not usually a follower of spammy diets, but it really does seem like a lifestyle change rather than a diet.

scrimshanker

feeling awful sorry for myself. then I want to eat sweets and chocolate

then I look at the fb profiles of friends who've died and feel so useless.

kronsington

Hi everybody,

Havent check in here for a while so thought I'd pop by. This last week is the worst my anxiety has been for a quite some time. Over the summer I was in pretty good form and didnt get down much. But this last week has been difficult and has gotten worse as the week has gone on. Im pretty good when it comes to self-awareness so I can kind of process and appreciate whats happening as i experience the symptons of anxiety. But ive always found executing techniques to eradciate these feelings fully from my life. There's been a couple of triggers that have happened in the last week that have set me- unpleasant exchange with an ex housemate, difficult conversations with father and brother who are in ireland (im in canada), its like the slightest thing sets me off. I had a few drinks last friday night, my first in a month and I deliberately didnt over do it as I always struggle after a night out but even with the modest amount I had, I felt bad for a few days. even people there that night and at work commented on how I never smile and how i always look tense. Im an intelligent person and i just think to myself how do i shake this affliction. i looked at myself in the mirrior for a few mins last night and my eyes look so sad and lifeless. Im out in canada here by myself, not particualrly enjoying it but knowing theres nothing for me at home either. barely scraping by in the job im working here. wondering how i can possibly even start saving towards something better. at a bit of a loss really. find it extremely difficult to relaz even slightly. im aware of my body ticks as they happen and my restlessness and while i know theres methids to try rid these, ive always found it so so hard to put into practice. have no mental strength or toughness, far too sensitive and i wonder how do i really learn to cope with the stresses of every day life. cos right now im miserable. im lucky to be in canada in many ways but i find it hard to put a positibe spin. i know that sounds silly. i cannot stop my mind from racing all the time and cant remember the last time i was happy about anything. i wonder will it all ever end. i compare my mind like a pot of boiling water thats swirling and steaming all the time when i just want it to be still like a lake. the hyper self consciousness never ends. ive tried reading, mindfulness, podcasts, exercise but nothing i do seems to last a long time.

anyway i just wanted to get that out. and ive prpbabbly doen it somewhwere earlier in the thread. im 33 now, single, broke, sad.. is this it? where did it go wrong?

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

feeling awful sorry for myself. then I want to eat sweets and chocolate

then I look at the fb profiles of friends who've died and feel so useless.

*hugs*

You're not useless at all, Scrim.

It's hard to break out of a funk like that sometimes.

DK man

Hi kron - are you exercising? 4 - 5 days a week of playing football / swimming or gym or jogging. I know when u are at your lowest it's hard to have energy and motivation but it's so important for lifting your spirits and helping to relax a bit...

In a time of anxiety all the positives seem to get blocked out and the pains and the difficult stuff gets blown up in size - keep reminding yourself about your achievements and all the good things in your life

Best of luck - k

greenfrogs

scrimshanker wrote: »

feeling awful sorry for myself. then I want to eat sweets and chocolate

then I look at the fb profiles of friends who've died and feel so useless.

I was at my gp today, she mentioned bodywhys. I'm not saying you have an eating disorder. But just in case you might be interested.

I was going to join weightwatchers but I don't think it will be dealing with the real issue which is why do I overeat.

Sometimes we have to practise self care. Maybe try and avoid looking at fb profiles that will upset you.

mg1982

kronsington wrote: »

Hi everybody,

Havent check in here for a while so thought I'd pop by. This last week is the worst my anxiety has been for a quite some time. Over the summer I was in pretty good form and didnt get down much. But this last week has been difficult and has gotten worse as the week has gone on. Im pretty good when it comes to self-awareness so I can kind of process and appreciate whats happening as i experience the symptons of anxiety. But ive always found executing techniques to eradciate these feelings fully from my life. There's been a couple of triggers that have happened in the last week that have set me- unpleasant exchange with an ex housemate, difficult conversations with father and brother who are in ireland (im in canada), its like the slightest thing sets me off. I had a few drinks last friday night, my first in a month and I deliberately didnt over do it as I always struggle after a night out but even with the modest amount I had, I felt bad for a few days. even people there that night and at work commented on how I never smile and how i always look tense. Im an intelligent person and i just think to myself how do i shake this affliction. i looked at myself in the mirrior for a few mins last night and my eyes look so sad and lifeless. Im out in canada here by myself, not particualrly enjoying it but knowing theres nothing for me at home either. barely scraping by in the job im working here. wondering how i can possibly even start saving towards something better. at a bit of a loss really. find it extremely difficult to relaz even slightly. im aware of my body ticks as they happen and my restlessness and while i know theres methids to try rid these, ive always found it so so hard to put into practice. have no mental strength or toughness, far too sensitive and i wonder how do i really learn to cope with the stresses of every day life. cos right now im miserable. im lucky to be in canada in many ways but i find it hard to put a positibe spin. i know that sounds silly. i cannot stop my mind from racing all the time and cant remember the last time i was happy about anything. i wonder will it all ever end. i compare my mind like a pot of boiling water thats swirling and steaming all the time when i just want it to be still like a lake. the hyper self consciousness never ends. ive tried reading, mindfulness, podcasts, exercise but nothing i do seems to last a long time.

anyway i just wanted to get that out. and ive prpbabbly doen it somewhwere earlier in the thread. im 33 now, single, broke, sad.. is this it? where did it go wrong?

Sorry to hear your going through a bad time there. I can relate to a lot of what you said. I would imagine its tough to move to another country and build a new life so your brave to have done it. Anxiety is a hard beast to tame.

scrimshanker

I wish I could cry. I hate myself so much, I wish I was never born

freudiangirl

Hugs in thanksgiving to ye all. Especially for.last night.

Was discharged at 3 is today. A registrar actually discussed my plan.with me throughly and took time.with me to see where I was and how I was leaving hospital. Thorough out, totally opposite to the mercy hospital.

Got a proper discharge plan:

Basically I am.to:
Get follow up from crisis nurse in hospital today (wed)
Continue DBT
Start Pieta ASAP
Go to my gp on tuesday( done today)
Daily prescription
Start with crisis team from wed- a necessary evil
See my psychiatrist on 5th October.
I even managed to see my gp.today as well as attending a support group.and having coffee with a friend who happened to.be at support group.


I am still feeling pretty awful physically
.
Have a cough and hurts to take.deep.breaths but was cleared physically. My eyes and throat are quite raw too as well as still being nauseous. Still headachey and gettong chills too.
Might get something otc for the nausea tomorrow. It could be worse considering the staggered overdosing I did during past week

I need to get well or at least start on road to it..
I know. I can't even think of it as a choice. I mean I was lucky 12 times , technically I shouldn't be here. Next time, I might not be so lucky and could have a horrible end. It is just retraining myself.i was told by liaison nurse today that every time I start the broken record in my head, visualise myself pressing pause so thought cycle gets broken. Then repeat as needed.it will take time but will get easier. I honestly still don't feel right today, physically I feel rotten. My meds fog has lifted but still feeling a small bit unreal & disconnected
My gp commented that I seemed brighter today than he has seen me in a while. I told him it was exhaustion😴 but he said I was different to last week. I just need to be able to go.to college next year and if I keep on going I won't be around to achieve my goal.

I need to.be consistent in the boys lives as well
It's hard but have made a drastic decision that will be hard but worth it in.end.


I have made a huge decision.i am going cold turkey from self harm and meds abuse. I am.going to reliase what my strengths are and .work on my current weaknesses. I will do my best to keep to these. I know what I need to learn and it will take time.

next thing I need to do is work.what triggers me and then write a list of what needs to be put in place before they totally overwhelm me. I have asked one person to let me.know.if I think I am slipping down.again.

I am also going to.ask on crisis team.to.put me on a different antidepressant in.the morning rather than then the old one I was on (felt this one made my anxiety worse.)i am also.going to.ask to see an ot to plan down/quiet time into my schedule. I might as well take advantage of services on offer.

This news broadcast has been brought to you by freudinews.

freudiangirl

scrimshanker wrote: »

I wish I could cry. I hate myself so much, I wish I was never born

Hugs scrim!
I know the feeling all.too.well.

freudiangirl

My family are going on holidays to Killarney next week for a week. Hence I didn't tell them about yesterday and where I actually was.

Thing is they want me to go with them. I don't mind going with just my nan and aunt, but my uncle T is also going.
He is the person who keeps offering me advice regarding my situation with my mum etc... and how I should handle it
..... my main issue with T is he keeps "spouting" the experience card etc. H's says "I should respect him etc. .. He has 50 years experience and basically he knows best. " I then respectfully asked him that on my discharge from hospital that he not mention my mum to me again a sit will not help my recovery. He took this very personally and got angry to such a point with me. I deemed it unnecessary.

My issue with him getting involved is that he doesn't have children and no one has ever threatened the life of his 6 month old child and not thought it was extremely inappropriate. I should have gone to.the gardai when it happened with my mum but I was persuaded by family not to.

My nan then keeps making excuse saying saying he is finding it tough looking for a job etc. I mean we all have it tough and if he has all this experience he should surely have some sense of empathise..

I get the feeling he also thinks he has the upper hand because he thinks he can manage his depression without meds/psychiatric input etc. I do not see myself as weak because I engage in this services, they are equal to you seeking help if you have a heart condition.

mg1982

Good to hear you got the all clear physically fg. Important thing now is too look after your mental health. Did you say your getting your medication given daily from the chemist?

freudiangirl

mg1982 wrote: »

Good to hear you got the all clear physically fg. Important thing now is too look after your mental health. Did you say your getting your medication given daily from the chemist?

Ya I am. Have to see crisis team today at 14:15
Am dreading it. But will see how it goes.

freudiangirl

Still feel rotten physically though. I am shaky and shivering, but feel kinda flueey. Hoping it will pass.

Hugo Stiglitz

scrimshanker wrote: »

I wish I could cry. I hate myself so much, I wish I was never born

Only seeing this now, sorry.

That's a tough thing to hear anyone say. That being said, I feel like it myself a lot of the time too, so I don't judge you for saying it or anything.

People in our situations often have very strong emotions, maybe even stronger than others.

I hope you're feeling better since you posted that.

We can talk any time if needs be. *hugs*

mg1982

scrimshanker wrote: »

I wish I could cry. I hate myself so much, I wish I was never born

I would say all of us here have days where we wish the same. I know i have days like that. Sometimes all this pain and hurt makes us feel its not worth it. I suppose what keeps me going is the hope that things could get better one day. Try and hold onto that hope.

carzony

Having very bad shakes and nervousness when leaving the house, even on my own for a casual stroll around the block. Scrimshaker I feel similar to you. I just wanna die because life is such a struggle..

Hugo Stiglitz

carzony wrote: »

Having very bad shakes and nervousness when leaving the house, even on my own for a casual stroll around the block. Scrimshaker I feel similar to you. I just wanna die because life is such a struggle..

*bro-hugs*

We can't let this beat us. It has beaten so many already.

I feel for you, Carzony. I really do. I hope this passes for you soon and ****s off forever.

freudiangirl

Hey all, got though today. But still having constant suicidal thoughts and urges to hurt myself physically but haven't in over 3 days due to the incidents of last week.

I feel so motivated to try and do my best to get on track yet still feel what's the point.
I also spent loads of time with kids and gave them as much of my all that I could.I was wrecked but pushed myself to my limits.
I am wrecked as only ex knows about me and hospital on Monday so have to put on mask a bit and be fully functioning for them.

I mean I spent about 2 hours catching up on the dbt skill I missed yesterday and doing my notes and flash cards for crises etc that I can carry on my person all the time yet the underlying feeling is why bother. I could also explain to my nan exactly how the skills of dbt should work yet I can't apply

I.am now.under local crisis team for 3 weeks. Have a med review tomorrow so asking for a different anti depressant and am worried that they will recommend sleeping tablets.

Am dreading who will do my med review. Just hoping it's not either of 2 doctors as I know we got off on bad footing last time.and one is quite harsh so find her quite hard to deal with. One reported me unnecessarily to social workers and didn't tell me she did (and even social workers admitted it was an unnecessary report and stress for the family) so it stresses me out a bit.

It's not that I want to die as such. It's just like a feeling of what is really going to change?

Anyhow, hugs to everyone here I know it's tough but we got through another day. As someone said in my dbt group, if life gives you lemon , make lemonade.
Feel free to hit me for saying that.

Sweet dreams to ye all.

P.s. any ideas on how to help my body get over th e staggered od of last week. Still feel run over and physically yucky but don't know what to do about it .I'm hoping it will pass shortly but it's just unnerving. I think it gave me the scare I needed. Well I hope it does.

scrimshanker

Well done fg. You seem to be coping really well and trying very hard to get better.
Inner dialogue doubting everything is so tricky, it's your own thoughts but at the same time they aren't speaking what you want.

Why bother? Because you can get better, you can get to a place where you can see your kids without it taking everything, you can rebuild your life - stronger and more knowledgeable than before - and enjoy life. You have everything to live for.

What's going to change? Probably it'll be slow and subtle, but your coping skills, your mood, and maybe as you get better life will have nicer things in it for you. You're already showing you can change - you've been three days without self harming and you're now determined to recover by yourself. That's a huge change, you should give yourself a lot of credit for it. Change is hard and sometimes we all slip back a little at times, but you've shown that you can change the things you have control over.

Keep battling on, you're doing so well. Don't pay attention to a doubting inner voice.

carzony

I love the science behind all of this though. I love reading about all the different chemicals, effects, causes, treatments ect. I read this morning electroshock is apparently very popular and successful when it comes to treating depression.

A guy from trinity is doing research. I might volunteer :0

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=4&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CDMQFjADahUKEwiepIWHuNrHAhVGiRoKHS8VAYY&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irishtimes.com%2Fnews%2Fscience%2Fhunting-for-another-way-to-treat-bugbear-of-depression-1.2329642&usg=AFQjCNGubgh2Y8J6u7GeOEaL267T5R_VpA&sig2=06OExbnZym9g_E5VPCeRKQ&bvm=bv.101800829,d.d2s

mg1982

carzony wrote: »

I love the science behind all of this though. I love reading about all the different chemicals, effects, causes, treatments ect. I read this morning electroshock is apparently very popular and successful when it comes to treating depression.

A guy from trinity is doing research. I might volunteer :0

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=4&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CDMQFjADahUKEwiepIWHuNrHAhVGiRoKHS8VAYY&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irishtimes.com%2Fnews%2Fscience%2Fhunting-for-another-way-to-treat-bugbear-of-depression-1.2329642&usg=AFQjCNGubgh2Y8J6u7GeOEaL267T5R_VpA&sig2=06OExbnZym9g_E5VPCeRKQ&bvm=bv.101800829,d.d2s

Thats an interesting study and after all these years of psychiatry electroshock therapy is still the gold standard treatment for major depression. I supppose it does make sense seeing that 30 percent of people wont respond to medication and have treatment resistant depression. I think im in that bracket myself.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Thats an interesting study and after all these years of psychiatry electroshock therapy is still the gold standard treatment for major depression. I supppose it does make sense seeing that 30 percent of people wont respond to medication and have treatment resistant depression. I think im in that bracket myself.

It's scary to even consider that one might not ultimately pull out of this even with the high doses of medication.

scrimshanker

My granddad actually had several rounds of ECT for depression... Dunno if it cured him, my mum said it was barbaric.


In other news, speaking on the phone with recruitment agencies about how you have a great phone manner and wonderful customer service that makes you ideal for client facing roles is NOT an ideal time for anxiety to kick in and make your voice go all shaky...

Hugo Stiglitz

My sleep hygiene has been particularly brutal this week and I'm feeling the affects of it now.

My DBT books arrived earlier this week and I haven't even opened them to sniff that new book smell.