Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Just meant in general.

Ah right. Rejection hurts like hell which is why i go out of my way to avoid it.

Hugo Stiglitz

mg1982 wrote: »

Ah right. Rejection hurts like hell which is why i go out of my way to avoid it.

Sometimes it just has a way of finding you though.

spudger1

mg1982 wrote: »

Ah right. Rejection hurts like hell which is why i go out of my way to avoid it.

I don't know if it hurts like hell....anymore. But the anticipation of it seems to a key part of life.

mg1982

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Sometimes it just has a way of finding you though.

It is hard to avoid allright and sometimes in life you have to take risks. I guess being of a sensitive nature it makes it all the harder to deal with.

greenfrogs

spudger1 wrote: »

I don't know if it hurts like hell....anymore. But the anticipation of it seems to a key part of life.

Yah kind of agree. I've been in situations where I couldn't enjoy friendships because I was expecting rejection. The constant feeling on edge, reading into every little detail, finding meaning in the smallest details and focusing all my energy and attention on it. Its draining.

Hugo Stiglitz

Calibos wrote: »

Someone mentioned atypical depression a while back. Looked it up and its me to a tee. Rejection sensitivity is one of the main diagnostic checkboxes for it.

Looked up atypical depression. I seemed to tick a few boxes for it.

Gremlinertia

Had my therapy thing today. Exhausted after it.. The thinking and realising and just everything is so much..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Had my therapy thing today. Exhausted after it.. The thinking and realising and just everything is so much..

*hugs*

You're great for going through with it all Grem. Try to keep in mind how better things will be at the end of your journey.

Gremlinertia

It's just a huge amount of new info for me currently, it's great in one way and terrifying in another.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's just a huge amount of new info for me currently, it's great in one way and terrifying in another.

I can imagine yeah. Are things there moving along slowly or is it coming at you very fast?

Gremlinertia

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I can imagine yeah. Are things there moving along slowly or is it coming at you very fast?

Absolutely both.. Things I thought I was secure in my knowledge of are getting shifted, other things are making connections I didn't expect.. It's a rush and slow as hell all at the same time..

Hugo Stiglitz

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Absolutely both.. Things I thought I was secure in my knowledge of are getting shifted, other things are making connections I didn't expect.. It's a rush and slow as hell all at the same time..

That does sounds fairly intense yeah. That fact that you haven't bolted seems to suggest that deep down you want to be there.

Gongoozler

Its just one lump of **** after another. And no good. how's a person meant to handle this

spudger1

Gongoozler wrote: »

Its just one lump of **** after another. And no good. how's a person meant to handle this

Sorry to hear. Some days can be like that. Is this work related?

Gongoozler

it's everything related

Hugo Stiglitz

Hang on in there GG. Things will get better.

spudger1

Gongoozler wrote: »

it's everything related

I don't want to presume to understand... but if it's any consolation, i think a lot of us in this thread have had times like this, where it feels like everything is misfiring. I hope things start falling into place for you soon.

Gongoozler

god i must be such a drag. sorry for the moaning.

I think much of my issues come back to self esteem. and its one thing i really dont know what to do about.

spudger1

Gongoozler wrote: »

god i must be such a drag. sorry for the moaning.

I think much of my issues come back to self esteem. and its one thing i really dont know what to do about.

There's no need for apologies. Maybe call it venting instead :-?

I'm speaking in very general terms now, but have you looked into what you could do to boost your self-esteem?

Gongoozler

My last counsellor was saying about thinking about good things about myself, and just trying to believe them. it doesnt sound like it but she was ttrying to help. i have lists of good things that i think about myself and things other people have said about me, but it's not making a dent. i dont know how to do it, to make me really feel like i'm worth something. because ultimately i obviously dont believe i am. i've worked hard for a lot of things, but i still seem to get nowhere. i try my absolute best with everything and everyone, and all i feel is defeated. i have 1 friend.
i don't know what i can do to work on it. it would probably help if i had a bunch of people who thought i was great and could list the ways i am great. but i dont have a bunch of people. and even if i did, maybe that wouldn't be enough. the counsellor said that self esteem should really just come from yourself. but i don't get how, everything ultimately comes from other people.

spudger1

I'm maybe taking a bit of a leap here, but if you feel you can take on more responsibility at work, and if there are some good things that you think about yourself, is there a Kernel of self-esteem there?


I don't have fantastic self-esteem myself. However something one person said to me, and it at least helped *me* a little was to just suspend judgement sometimes. Of myself, and others. Again, i don't want to make presumptions, but it did help in my own situation.

Gongoozler

Yeah i do have something. just depends on the area, and the day i suppose.

i do try not to judge people too harshly. i'm not so easy going on myself though. but it's about setting what i consider acceptable standards. if I was any less than i am, i really think i wouldn't still be here

spudger1

Gongoozler wrote: »

Yeah i do have something. just depends on the area, and the day i suppose.

i do try not to judge people too harshly. i'm not so easy going on myself though. but it's about setting what i consider acceptable standards. if I was any less than i am, i really think i wouldn't still be here

I might have said it's not about letting standards go...but rather finding a comfortable way to let those standards slip into a lower gear sometimes. TBH, can only really speak from my own experiences...but i tend to beat myself up a bit, and occasional suspension of judgement
stops me from wearing myself out.

It's not one size fits all..but it's worked somewhat for me.

Gongoozler

theory sounds good, how does the practical work?

spudger1

Gongoozler wrote: »

theory sounds good, how does the practical work?

Just... Suspend... Judgement.

Like i said, it's not one size fits all.

greenfrogs

I would say that low esteem may be an issue for many people here. I think I am at the level where all my issues go quite deep. I have been living with depression and anxiety for years. In that time my thoughts and behaviours have changed due to this illness. I have low self esteem. My automatic thoughts are I am stupid, a failure, ugly, an idiot..the list in endless. These thoughts have changed a lot in the last few months. They are less negative, less intense and happening less. But to be honest it has taken a lot of hard work. I remember a few weeks back I was going through a very difficult time. After talking to my counsellor she told me to be nice to myself. I actually listened to her advice and I was kinder to myself. However if this had happened a few months ago it would have fell on deaf ears.

I don't think I am actually helping anyone with this post. I suppose in my opinion a person's self esteem can't be fixed overnight. It's not a simple case of be nice to yourself. It is a complicated web of thoughts and behaviours. It was for me anyway but we are all different.

carzony

Was told today by a Doctor that I could be easily waiting 9 months for a councelling session with the HSE. I've looked into private but cheapest I could get was 50 an hour which is just not affordable.

Think i'll forget about the councelling and stick to the medication ffs. I'll be job hunting in the next few weeks so hopefully I might be able to go private soon..

****ing hse is a disgrace.......

greenfrogs

That is a disgrace. 9 months is far too long. Is this counselling through the medical card or from mental health services?

carzony

greenfrogs wrote: »

That is a disgrace. 9 months is far too long. Is this counselling through the medical card or from mental health services?

Medical card. i'd roughly be waiting 8 weeks already.

greenfrogs

I get counselling through the mental health services. I was still waiting nearly three months for it to start though. First I was referred to the mental health services for my area. Then I had a consultation with the psychiatrist and they recommended cbt to me. The pyschiatrist told me it might take a few months for the therapy to start but it only took a few weeks. That route may be an option. Especially if this is taking over your life.