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Hen parties...why not just one night as tradition?

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    #62
    Kate!!!
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭Kate!!!


    illgetthere wrote: »
    Can I ask what your friends thought of you not having a hen party??

    I am getting married next year and have absolutely no desire for a hen party (my other half feels similar about stag parties!) but already I am feeling the pressure from my friends. Most of them live in different parts of Ireland and the UK and I think travelling for the wedding is more than enough without adding a hen party. Plus, it's just not my thing but I get the impression my friends would think I was, well a bit sad really(!) for not having a hen party

    My cousin didn't have a hen at all. She did have a few close friends to her house for a takeaway about a month before the wedding just for a chat/drink and it was a lovely night. We didn't call it a hen it was more of a get together. I think If you don't want one they don't feel pressures to . Do what makes you happy.


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    #63
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    illgetthere wrote: »
    Can I ask what your friends thought of you not having a hen party??

    I am getting married next year and have absolutely no desire for a hen party (my other half feels similar about stag parties!) but already I am feeling the pressure from my friends. Most of them live in different parts of Ireland and the UK and I think travelling for the wedding is more than enough without adding a hen party. Plus, it's just not my thing but I get the impression my friends would think I was, well a bit sad really(!) for not having a hen party

    I feel exactly the same, and HELL NO I didn't have a hen party. A few of my mates did squawk a bit, but I did point out I'm not a hen party person - I can't stand them. And they were already spending a lot of money travelling over to Cork from London, Jamaica and Barbados. My MoH had just had a baby, so I didn't think it was fair that more money be spent on an event I wouldn't enjoy.

    And you know what? I couldn't have cared less...


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    #64
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    illgetthere wrote: »
    Can I ask what your friends thought of you not having a hen party??

    I am getting married next year and have absolutely no desire for a hen party (my other half feels similar about stag parties!) but already I am feeling the pressure from my friends. Most of them live in different parts of Ireland and the UK and I think travelling for the wedding is more than enough without adding a hen party. Plus, it's just not my thing but I get the impression my friends would think I was, well a bit sad really(!) for not having a hen party

    Tbh I think they were delighted. I didn't really get any comments though.


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    #65
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    I find it very difficult to believe that anyone would be genuinely disappointed that a bride to be chose not to have a hen night/weekend.


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    #66
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    Addle wrote: »
    I find it very difficult to believe that anyone would be genuinely disappointed that a bride to be chose not to have a hen night/weekend.

    You'd be amazed. Weddings tend to bring out the worst in people - I have no clue why. People I thought would be chilled about mine, turned out to be an absolute nightmare and no bloody help at all. Others that I thought would be bossy and interfering, turned out to be absolutely brilliant. Gave me invaluable help and support as well as suggestions.


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    #67
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    ABajaninCork wrote: »
    . Weddings tend to bring out the worst in people - .





    Truer words have never been spoken!!!!


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    #68
    illgetthere
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭illgetthere


    I find that when it comes to weddings some people make huge assumptions about what they expect to happen just because its a wedding or because it's what they would do, without taking into account the personality or circumstances of the couple. Not everyone off course but some people just can't seem to fathom that you would do things evenly slightly difference to the norm!


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    #69
    Kate!!!
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭Kate!!!


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Truer words have never been spoken!!!!

    Completely agree


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    #70
    Kate!!!
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭Kate!!!


    Typer Monkey wrote: »
    All mrsbyrne's posts on this forum are sneery and judgemental..don't know why she comes in here when everything about modern weddings seems to wind her up so much :D

    Agreed ! I reckon she likes nothing more than to complain. 😄 she must have a lot of negative energy in her life !!!!


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    #71
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    ABajaninCork wrote: »
    You'd be amazed. Weddings tend to bring out the worst in people - I have no clue why. People I thought would be chilled about mine, turned out to be an absolute nightmare and no bloody help at all. Others that I thought would be bossy and interfering, turned out to be absolutely brilliant. Gave me invaluable help and support as well as suggestions.
    Agreed!Some people who are perfectly normal in every way seem to transform into monsters as soon as a wedding appears on the horizon! A lot of women perfectly capable of running their own lives, holding down a job paying their rent maintaining relationships etc with no bother turn into needy attention seeking money wasting wretches as soon as the date is set.
    Bridesmaids who spend their weekends slobbing around in sweatpants and t-shirt suddenly have avery high standard about what neckline of a dress suits them and what colour makes them washed out looking. Guests who would be normally considerate and compliant dinner guests suddenly start to decide that even though the invite states Mary and pat only that they can bring the whole house including their mother! theres no explanation!


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    #72
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    Kate!!! wrote: »
    Agreed ! I reckon she likes nothing more than to complain. 😄 she must have a lot of negative energy in her life !!!!
    Kate Ive asked you nicely twice to stop bitching about me. Youve ignored me twice. Your determined to persist. Now I'm reporting this post to a mod.


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    #73
    Kate!!!
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭Kate!!!


    mrsbyrne wrote: »
    Kate Ive asked you nicely twice to stop bitching about me. Youve ignored me twice. Your determined to persist. Now I'm reporting this post to a mod.

    Bitching is a very strong word mrsbyrne . You seem to have some personal problem with me ? From what I see lots of people like me call you up on your judgemental comments !!! If you look back you will see I responded to you. Amazes me that you can dish out the comments yet can't take any back ? Pot kettle black I think !!!


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    #74
    Kate!!!
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭Kate!!!


    Kate!!! wrote: »
    Bitching is a very strong word mrsbyrne . You seem to have some personal problem with me ? From what I see lots of people like me call you up on your judgemental comments !!! If you look back you will see I responded to you. Amazes me that you can dish out the comments yet can't take any back ? Pot kettle black I think !!!

    Btw you cannot refer to your comments to me as nice !!!


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    #75
    CelticRambler
    Registered Users Posts: 6,744 ✭✭✭CelticRambler


    The Cool wrote: »
    I have recently been on a hen weekend for a bride who has been living in England for the past two years, and a gang of 15 of us went, and it was absolutely brilliant because a lot of us hadn't hung out with the bride properly in such a long time, so we got to really make the most of it. If it had only been one night she would have been too stretched between us all, to get catching up properly.

    Isn't that the whole point of the wedding reception, especially the afters? If the bride (or groom) is too stretched to catch up with friends in this day and age of mobile phones, texts, facebook, boards.ie even, then what sort of friends are they?

    I'm with MrsByrne on this one - many so-called traditions are either new inventions, or events that have no connection at all with the original meaning. The honeymoon is the most absurd of the lot when the couple have probably been on half a dozen exotic holidays together already, but stag/hen parties are a close contender. If anything, it's five years into the marriage that the two of them will each need a night or two out on their own ...


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    #76
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    Kate!!! wrote: »
    Bitching is a very strong word mrsbyrne . You seem to have some personal problem with me ? From what I see lots of people like me call you up on your judgemental comments !!! If you look back you will see I responded to you. Amazes me that you can dish out the comments yet can't take any back ? Pot kettle black I think !!!
    I cant have apersonal problem with you as i dont know you nor do I wish to know you. Actually ive put you on ignore now. This post has been reported as well as your now following me around this thread like a bad smell. Ignore means its pointless you replying to me any more as i wont be able to see it. Goodbye Kate.


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    #77
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    CelticRambler wrote: »
    Isn't that the whole point of the wedding reception, especially the afters? If the bride (or groom) is too stretched to catch up with friends in this day and age of mobile phones, texts, facebook, boards.ie even, then what sort of friends are they?

    I'm with MrsByrne on this one - many so-called traditions are either new inventions, or events that have no connection at all with the original meaning. The honeymoon is the most absurd of the lot when the couple have probably been on half a dozen exotic holidays together already, but stag/hen parties are a close contender. If anything, it's five years into the marriage that the two of them will each need a night or two out on their own ...
    Five years and a couple of kids celticrambler!


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    #78
    MsBubbles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,241 ✭✭✭MsBubbles


    We're getting married in September my 'hen party' was my close friends and family came over to my house for pizza and prosecco. My husband to be didn't have a stag.
    He has no interest.


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    #79
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Addle wrote: »
    Have you been to many weddings Kate?

    Well?


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    #80
    Kate!!!
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭Kate!!!


    Addle wrote: »
    Well?

    Why the interest ?


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    #81
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    I didn't have a hens either, my husband didn't have a stag. Both of us have a good mix of friends of both sexes so the idea of having a girls only / boys only event seemed a bit stupid. No one cared, we did have a few drinks as a group that some people considered a joint stag/hen but it was just a normal night out that everyone made an effort to go to, nothing special, no L plates or strippers or anything like that. Some people did think it was odd or a bit sad we didn't have one, one girl I work with feels I didn't have a full wedding experience but isn't that the great thing about weddings, that they are personal to the people involved and represent them?


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    #82
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Kate!!! wrote: »
    Why the interest ?

    Because I think your attitude to hens and weddings will change once you've been to a few.

    There are wedding specific forums. You might be better off at one of them.


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    #83
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    illgetthere wrote: »
    Can I ask what your friends thought of you not having a hen party??

    I am getting married next year and have absolutely no desire for a hen party (my other half feels similar about stag parties!) but already I am feeling the pressure from my friends. Most of them live in different parts of Ireland and the UK and I think travelling for the wedding is more than enough without adding a hen party. Plus, it's just not my thing but I get the impression my friends would think I was, well a bit sad really(!) for not having a hen party
    If you are having a bridal party at all (i mean bridesmaids and groomsmen best man etc) you will probably need to get together for a rehearsal at some stage or even just to go over the logistics of the day. Maybe you could ask your bridesmaid organise a nice lunch with drinks that day and announce it as a rehearsal/stag/hen? But specify that you dont want any nasty surprises and will be upset if any arise?


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    #84
    Kate!!!
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭Kate!!!


    Addle wrote: »
    Because I think your attitude to hens and weddings will change once you've been to a few.

    There are wedding specific forums. You might be better off at one of them.

    Well thank you for the advice however I am happy here! Yes I have in fact been to many weddings.


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    #85
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    eviltwin wrote: »
    I didn't have a hens either, my husband didn't have a stag. Both of us have a good mix of friends of both sexes so the idea of having a girls only / boys only event seemed a bit stupid. No one cared, we did have a few drinks as a group that some people considered a joint stag/hen but it was just a normal night out that everyone made an effort to go to, nothing special, no L plates or strippers or anything like that. Some people did think it was odd or a bit sad we didn't have one, one girl I work with feels I didn't have a full wedding experience but isn't that the great thing about weddings, that they are personal to the people involved and represent them?
    A pal of mine became totally blotto at a hen where the bride (a mother of 3) was wearing L plates on a sash. My pal doesnt drink much and she started slagging the hen over these L plates and it all ended very badly. She (my pal) ended up mooning other revelllers outside the pub with the L plates stuck to the two cheeks of her backside and the poor hen in floods:eek:
    You may not have had the "full wedding experience" according to your colleague but you probably feel just as married as she!


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    #86
    illgetthere
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭illgetthere


    mrsbyrne wrote: »
    If you are having a bridal party at all (i mean bridesmaids and groomsmen best man etc) you will probably need to get together for a rehearsal at some stage or even just to go over the logistics of the day. Maybe you could ask your bridesmaid organise a nice lunch with drinks that day and announce it as a rehearsal/stag/hen? But specify that you dont want any nasty surprises and will be upset if any arise?

    Thanks, I like your thinking. We're are not actually having a bridal party. I'm sure I'll meet up with friends in the run up to the wedding and have drinks or whatever with them. I'm just don't feel that the organised hen-party weekend type affair is for me - and for some reason I feel the eyes of judgement on me for it!


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    #87
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Kate!!! wrote: »
    Well thank you for the advice however I am happy here! Yes I have in fact been to many weddings.

    You don't seem to know too much about weddings for having been to so many.


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    #88
    Kate!!!
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭Kate!!!


    Addle wrote: »
    You don't seem to know too much about weddings for having been to so many.

    Asking for opinions/costs does not mean I have never been to a wedding before !!!


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    #89
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,909 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    OK this is the one on thread warning there's going to be. Sniping and bitching has to stop. Making personal comments about people is absolutely not on. I suggest everyone read the new charter at the top of the forum and make sure you're posts aren't going against the rules. Next poster who attacks another personally is getting a 7 day ban.


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    #90
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    illgetthere wrote: »
    Thanks, I like your thinking. We're are not actually having a bridal party. I'm sure I'll meet up with friends in the run up to the wedding and have drinks or whatever with them. I'm just don't feel that the organised hen-party weekend type affair is for me - and for some reason I feel the eyes of judgement on me for it!
    Well, people seem to enjoy making other feel uncomfortable when they dont/wont knuckle down and conform. It definitely wasnt or isnt for me either or others on this thread. Just make sure no well meaning friends dont jump out of a corner at you one nite waving a pink plastic plonker and shouting surprise!


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    #91
    Electric Sheep
    Registered Users Posts: 2,105 ✭✭✭Electric Sheep


    mrsbyrne wrote: »
    Well, people seem to enjoy making other feel uncomfortable when they dont/wont knuckle down and conform. It definitely wasnt or isnt for me either or others on this thread. Just make sure no well meaning friends dont jump out of a corner at you one nite waving a pink plastic plonker and shouting surprise!
    That really would be my idea of hell.


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