Cringe worthy moments.

waraf

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Ohh do tell. Was it Mourinho? Maybe Ronaldo?

Mourinho??

Bazzo

waraf wrote: »

Mourinho??

He managed Real up until last year.

loalae

I was in the changing area of the UCD swimming pool in my swimming togs and I needed to go to the bathroom before going to the pool. In my hand I hand my hat, goggles and a tampon. There were 3 men standing in a circle close to the bathroom talking about maintenance work that needed to be done in the pool area (it had just been opened and a few bits still had to be done) and I had to cut through the circle to get past.

So I got into the bathroom, put on my cap and fit my goggles then realised I couldn't find the tampon. I looked out the door and it was on the floor smack bang in the centre of where the men were standing. I had to creep out and pick it up. I stayed in the bathroom until I knew for sure they were gone!

GalwayGuy2

A car let me pass the on the road today.

I turned and said 'Thank you' to the car.

fr336

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

A car let me pass the on the road today.

I turned and said 'Thank you' to the car.

I misread this as cat and the story was better

Whatsisname

When I was in school, me and another lad got sent to do a job for a teacher, we bumped into the principal through the corridors and it was during class so he was asking us who we were looking for and our names. The lad I was with, lets call him "Conor", had a bit of a stutter, but only ever really stuttered when he was reading in class. Anyway, he mumbles out "C-c-c-c-c-c-ONOR!" which transforms into a loud bark due to his imaginable frustration. I couldn't keep it together, ya know when you try so hard not to laugh but the sound just explodes out, bellowing from me is a sound similar to a french horn from my nose while I try to pass it off as a cough. As you can imagine, it didn't sound like one at all. I had to turn and just walk away, holding back the tears of laughter and whatever dignity I could redeem. I swear I stayed bright red for the next week.

Legs.Eleven

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

A car let me pass the on the road today.

I turned and said 'Thank you' to the car.

And what did the car say?

sopretty

Whatsisname wrote: »

When I was in school, me and another lad got sent to do a job for a teacher, we bumped into the principal through the corridors and it was during class so he was asking us who we were looking for and our names. The lad I was with, lets call him "Conor", had a bit of a stutter, but only ever really stuttered when he was reading in class. Anyway, he mumbles out "C-c-c-c-c-c-ONOR!" which transforms into a loud bark due to his imaginable frustration. I couldn't keep it together, ya know when you try so hard not to laugh but the sound just explodes out, bellowing from me is a sound similar to a french horn from my nose while I try to pass it off as a cough. As you can imagine, it didn't sound like one at all. I had to turn and just walk away, holding back the tears of laughter and whatever dignity I could redeem. I swear I stayed bright red for the next week.

Oh God, you've reminded me. A very sort of serious meeting. Everyone had to read a bit. Anyway, this older lady started reading. There were only about 5 of us there. Now, she'd make an attempt at a word, and if she couldn't make it out, then she'd make up a word beginning with the same letter. PMSL. Oh jesus, the snorting started. The more she went on, the more I was trying to hide my titters, the worse she was getting. Eventually she said - 'It's me eyesight'. Well good God, I nearly had to be picked off the floor. Nothing could stop the fits of laughing. And the shame, oh good God the shame, and trying to apologise, and to try to explain that I was just in giggly humour. With everyone staring at me stern-faced. Oh sweet Jesus. The shame. As herself looked at me not knowing whether to laugh or give out to me over her glasses.

Ihatecuddles

I hate laughing at someones expense. You feel sh*t but sometimes its too funny.

My parents have those glass sliding doors leading out the back. My 4 year old went to lean on it but my mam was cooking, so it was covered in condensation. His hand slipped and he bounced his face off the glass.

I burst out laughing and couldn't stop, worst mother ever.

vitani

mauzo! wrote: »

I hate laughing at someones expense. You feel sh*t but sometimes its too funny.

My parents have those glass sliding doors leading out the back. My 4 year old went to lean on it but my mam was cooking, so it was covered in condensation. His hand slipped and he bounced his face off the glass.

I burst out laughing and couldn't stop, worst mother ever.

When my little one was about 18 months, she was standing near the telly. She leaned back to see it better and just kept going - picture Del Boy falling through the bar. I just about stopped laughing long enough to pick her up.

Muise...

mauzo! wrote: »

I hate laughing at someones expense. You feel sh*t but sometimes its too funny.

My parents have those glass sliding doors leading out the back. My 4 year old went to lean on it but my mam was cooking, so it was covered in condensation. His hand slipped and he bounced his face off the glass.

I burst out laughing and couldn't stop, worst mother ever.

vitani wrote: »

When my little one was about 18 months, she was standing near the telly. She leaned back to see it better and just kept going - picture Del Boy falling through the bar. I just about stopped laughing long enough to pick her up.

Don't feel bad. Kids have to learn that falling over is funny.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98LoiMZ59Jw

thesandeman

At my dads funeral a lad known to us (now a well known writer) came up to us and tried to sell us balloons as we were leaving the church.
When one of the lads took him away to have a word he turned bright red and went 'oh sh!t. I thought it was a wedding'.

The next morning was windy and raining and a friend of mines five year old managed to get his hands on one of the huge umbrellas that the undertaker was giving to the mourners.
the young lad ended up getting blown to the front still clutching the umbrella and collapsing face first in front of the hearse. Lucky it was going slow.

scudzilla

At my Ma's funeral, in the front passenger seat was my uncle (ma's brother)

In the middle 3 seats were my aunties and in the back was my sister (bitch), dad and myself.

I let out the wettest, smelliest fart known to man, stank like nothing else.

I did the honorable thing and blamed one of my aunties

Ihatecuddles

I love that you point out your sister is a bitch! Nothing to do with the story....mean, but hilarious.

Mink

My toddler son has longish blonde curls up until a month ago. Was at a play centre and this other mother started chatting to me and announced that it was so refreshing to see a little girl not dressed head to toe in pink.

desbrook

desbrook wrote: »

I'm attending Christmas Eve mass with my 2 and a half year old son whose getting crankier and more tired by the minute in the packed church . Mass is about half way through but he's convinced it should be over.
Hence when the priest and congregation solemly recited " Christ had died, Christ has risen Christ will come again " he followed up with " NO. ..HE ...WONT! " at the top of his voice. Mortified wasn't the word!

My son had form at these church outbursts . Around the time he was just over a year old and learning to talk myself and my ex used to get a takeway almost every Saturday night . One Sunday morning we brought him to mass in the buggy . The Church was big but had basic facilities such that believe it or not an ordinary doorbell was pressed by the altar boy to alert everyone the priest was coming out to say Mass .

So at the appointed time this doorbell goes "Bing Bong" the door opens and out marches the Priest . My son in his clearest and loudest voice to date exclaimed "It's the Pizza Man ! "

To make matters worse he did this in that split second of silence between the priest walking out and the organ and choir starting the opening hymn . Even worse again we were in an adjacent row of seats and he was clearly audible to this choir . To their credit they saw the funny side . So much so that the first verse of "Christ be our light " might aswell have been performed in a cloud of laughing gas .

Sinister Kid

My friend will kill me if she finds out I posted this but its too funny not to...

She was seeing her boyfriend for a few months and she kept asking her boyfriend to elope thinking it meant go away for a weekend... After a few weeks of him awkwardly avoiding answering and her pestering him he finally copped what she meant!! Poor girl nearly died when he explained to her that elope meant to run away and get married!!

turnikett1

Just remembered this one out of nowhere for some reason...

I went for a job interview a few years back. I was desperate, and needed to save money for a grand project of mine that I had been planning a long time. I was having no luck whatsoever with the job hunting and like I said had gotten desperate and tried out the worst of the worst jobs like door to door sales and charity mugging on the streets and so on. After I tried both of these for a day I decided that I naturally hated them. Both these jobs were commission. Now, a while later I had sent in my CV somewhere online, to a call centre in Limerick. A few days later I got a call back - BUT, I misheard the name of the company when they rang me and was too embarassed to ask them to repeat who they were - so I went ahead with it. They confirmed that they were in Limerick so I thought it MUST be that call centre in Limerick, great!

I got a bus all the way to Limerick city, went to my job interview all nervous but at the same time strangely confident and excited. I went to the interview room and yer man began to ask me loads of typical work questions. I answered them all confidently and proudly. He then asked me "So, what was your last job and why did you leave it?". I told them it was door to door sales that was based on commission and that I really disliked door to door and commission based jobs. He stopped writing, looked up at me and said "You do realize this is a commission based door to door sales job, right?". I stammered for a bit and tried to explain I was at the wrong job interview before I just got up and left!

In retrospect I guess it wasn't that cringey but at the time I was mortified - sweating profusely and redder than a spanked arse! Waste of everyone's time and most importantly waste of the little bit of money that I had just to get down to that bloody place

Sunshine87

not really too cringy as no one was there to point and laugh but last summer i was going for a smoke on the balcony only to smack my whole body off the glass sliding door (thought the door was wide open) and also tripping on the step in the process. i Dont know how i didnt knock myself out. i still cringe but it would have been a good laugh for anyone to see.

Soups123

Recently in a business meeting we were wrapping up and I shock hands with the two lads and went to kiss the woman on the cheek, she pulled back.

So inappriopriate my face was beetroot red

Gloomtastic!

Soups123 wrote: »

Recently in a business meeting we were wrapping up and I shock hands with the two lads and went to kiss the woman on the cheek, she pulled back.

So inappriopriate my face was beetroot red

Once a charmer....... Hilarious!

Going Strong

Soups123 wrote: »

Recently in a business meeting we were wrapping up and I shock hands with the two lads and went to kiss the woman on the cheek, she pulled back.

So inappriopriate my face was beetroot red

Some years back, I did something similar. I'd been on a client site for nearly a year and was friendly with a fair few of them. When I went back to my own company, we'd have to get in touch every so often about past projects and the like. One time, I was in a phone conversation with one of the (female) people there and was getting on grand. Only, I started making personal comments to her, nothing untoward, just friendly banter of the "How's she cutting?" variety. I hadn't noticed that she wasn't joining in much until she pointed out that we were on speaker phone and she was in a big meeting and had only phoned me to clear up a point that came up during the meeting. I stammered out a "Oh, right, bye then." hung up and then had to answer my colleagues as to why I was bright red. They all laughed at me.

coffee_cake

Jaysus she should have said "hey by the way we're on speaker" first thing, standard etiquette like

Going Strong

bluewolf wrote: »

Jaysus she should have said "hey by the way we're on speaker" first thing, standard etiquette like

I know. I'm not that daft to carry on like that on speaker usually. It wasn't too bad, the other people at the meeting thought it was funny and liked that we got along so well. I was more embarrassed by my unprofessional act rather than at anything I'd said. IIRC, I was asking her where she was off to on holiday and the like.

Tasden

It reminds me of that April fools video, a teacher had a policy that if a phone went off in his class then the owner of said phone would have to answer and put it on speaker. So the students arranged a phone call, the girl picks up and the person on the other end- its x from planned parenthood or wherever, calling about your tests, you're pregnant... blah blah, the face on the teacher :pac:

runawaybishop

Tasden wrote: »

It reminds me of that April fools video, a teacher had a policy that if a phone went off in his class then the owner of said phone would have to answer and put it on speaker. So the students arranged a phone call, the girl picks up and the person on the other end- its x from planned parenthood or wherever, calling about your tests, you're pregnant... blah blah, the face on the teacher :pac:

I am pie

Unfortunate & could have been an HR incident but nonetheless I nearly broke a rib laughing.

A former colleague of mine had a guy working on a SQL query for him to create some report or other. The guy working on the query was gay.

A freudian keyboard slip saw my former colleague send out an email to a group of about 5 people, including the guy working on the query. He intended to say "lads, we need to sort this query out today"....instead he typed "lads, we need to sort this queer out today"

Awkward.

Fortunately apologies were offered and accepted amicably, the developer had a good laugh about it. Very relieved manager !

Maximus Alexander

I've spent my whole day working on some queries, so I had a nice chuckle at that.

Duggy747

10 years ago in college I was at a girl's house where she threw a small get-together in her house since her mother was gone for a few days. I was invited because she wanted to get with me, which I didn't know about until she made her advances on me.

"Hey, now this is my kind of party!" I thought to myself and she was gorgeous looking too.

The night carried on normally after we kissed as we hung around talking when I noticed my nose was beginning to irritate me. Normally that happens if there's loads of dust or a pesky feline is around, which I had spotted her pet cat sitting on the windowsill outside staring at me.

"Balls! Oh well, I'll just hope for the best that I won't turn into a sneeze n' snot machine and the night will go grand...."

Of course it didn't, for every good thing that happens to Duggy something twice as bad has to happen within a short period of time. Duggy's Law, as I call it

So I start sneezing uncontrollably, trying my best to clear my nose like going outside for fresh air / trying to hold my sneezes / etc. I kept having to leave the room every 2 minutes to blow gallons of snot out of my nose, I was going through the tissue in her house like there was no tomorrow.

Eventually, I got my nose to calm the fùck down as it was near impossible to talk to someone with me being paranoid that it would start dripping or that I'd sneeze my arse through my nostrils.

So, myself and the girl are sitting on the couch talking to each other. She was pretty cool about me having snot spasms earlier and wasn't put off me so we continued flirting with each other.

I could sense she wanted a kiss as she slowly moved her head towards mine and I felt mine towards her, it was a good intense moment....

.....ruined when a big long sliver of snot suddenly drooled out of my nose and right onto her leg

My nose was so numb I couldn't even sense it was coming.

I go bright red, the heat of my face would fry and egg, as I apologised profusely while swearing like a sailor. When I go bright red only my cheeks do, leaving a white outline around my mouth and eyes making me look like a shaved ape.............at that point I'm sure I was super sexy.........

Again, the girl didn't freak out or was disgusted and found it pretty funny while telling me it was ok.

"Man, I'm a lucky bastard that this girl is so sound."

I pissed off at myself that the whole thing had left me with a numbing headache and the night just wasn't working out for me.

The headache meant I couldn't think straight and kept jumbling up my words as I tried to regain composure but it got worse when for, no reason whatsoever, I suddenly kept saying the girl's name wrong.

There was one letter different in her name from another girl I knew that she didn't get on with and I apparently said it so much that she then ran upstairs and cried in the bathroom

I wanted to go crawl under a bush and die somewhere of embarrassment and shame but her friends told me to stay.

Things eventually calmed down, I got to sleep with her but she gave me an awful icy reception after all that happened so there was no hanky panky.......not that I was looking for it at that point considering how much the night colossally fùcked up.

Yea, I never did get with her again...............I wonder why...........

Sesudra

In my office, when you get in a phone call from a customer, you add a note to their file, pretty standard stuff. This one day, I was mailing my friend and she asked me something about Eastenders that week, so I copy and pasted the "This Week on Eastenders" thing from some website into the mail back to her.

Then the phone rang and after the call, I updated the customers notes on the system and went on my merry way. About an hour later, my manager, who was really sound, came over and asked me to have a quick look at the notes - I'd copy and pasted the Eastenders synopsis into the customer notes. Luckily it was my sound manager who spotted it!