Cringe worthy moments.

eisenberg1

petes wrote: »

Don't buy many condoms then?

"Ribbed for her pleasure", a friend (ahem) was so selfish when on the job, he used to turn them inside out:D

Birneybau

mauzo! wrote: »

Maybe in Dealz!!!

petes wrote: »

Don't buy many condoms then?

Yeah, either 12 or 18 packs

Multiples of 3 doesn't mean 3...

Mousewar

Birneybau wrote: »

Are Durex not just packed in multiples of 3? Shenanigans!

Well there were definitely bigger boxes, of 12 I think. You can allow me poetic licence with the 20.

mauzo!

mauzo! wrote: »

I can't stop laughing!! You bought the condoms??

I haven't laughed this hard in ages

I always say I'm the only person who's ever been embarrassed into buying condoms

Ihatecuddles

Birneybau wrote: »

Yeah, either 12 or 18 packs

Multiples of 3 doesn't mean 3...

Dude...you're ruining my joke.

KindaRaven

Right so bit of a back story – I was beyond exhausted with night time college and full time work yadda yadda yadda - no one cares. So after work, I go into the Spar around the corner from my office to get a coffee. I had gone in once a day for the past two years and was generally served by one friendly, pretty lady. That particular day I hadn't slept at all the night before and was struggling to stay awake.

ME: “Can I have your strongest black coffee?”
HER: (Jokingly) “Are u sure?”
ME: “Yep, I need it today!”
HER “No Problem, this should do the job”

It was at this point I was too tired to think of any more small chat.

Being the socially awkward freak that I am (and wanting to act all macho in front of the pretty lady)
I said “ah sure yeno" …

***Awkward pause and alarms screaming in my head that I was going no-where with this**


”once you go black, you never go back”.

She looked at me and snorted, trying to hold in her laugh. Usually I'm grand in these sorts of situations and would have just laughed it off but I just looked at her and made a weird awkward smile.

Sat in my car afterwards for at least twenty minutes going over how much better I could have handled it.

kellso81

All this talk of condoms reminds me of one my friend told me when she worked in a petrol station. Few people in a queue and a nervous young man steps up to the counter and asks for a packet of durex. For some reason my friend got confused and thought he meant duracell batteries so, with no discretion, asked what size he wanted. The man got really embarrassed and said it didn't matter, any of them. 'Don't be silly' she replied, 'they might not fit, now, what size do you want?' She said this went on for a minute or two until she started to get pissed off and turned round to where both were kept and on seeing the condoms realised her mistake, went bright red and started apologising, further embarrassing herself and the poor man while a queue of people sniggered on.

Mammanabammana

Few years ago I got a text from a friend asking how things were going with the girl I was seeing at the time.

Typed up a reply to him along the lines of "Meh, going ok I guess, not really too caught up in the whole thing, think she likes me a lot more than I like her so I'm not really sure but reckon I'll probably end it pretty soon".

And promptly accidentally sent it to the girl in question...

who_me

A group of friends and I were at a wedding in West Cork, and one of them (from Northern Ireland) got talking to an attractive girl.

During a lull in the conversation, she came over to us and (delicately) asked "Is your friend a bit.... autistic?" We laughed a bit, as he can be a bit intense & sarcastic, so we just said "No, he's just a bit funny". She walked off, looking even more confused.

It was only the following day when we got talking to her friends that we found out what it was about.

She couldn't understand his strong accent, so at some point he'd talked to her friends, and they said "Her? Ah, she's just a bit deaf" (in the non-literal, jokey sense). So, he started talking to her in loud, slow baby-talk. "SO. WHERE. ARE. YOU. FROM?" At this point she had come to us confused and we'd been no help. So she went back thinking he was a bit slow and the conversation continued in the same vein. "I'M. FROM. CORK. AND. YOU?" The two of them were chatting like that for ages!

Poor guy, as I think he really fancied her.

LynnGrace

o1s1n wrote: »

We were visiting some posh relatives of ours whom I'd never really met before. I was about six or seven at the time.

Their son was taking me through some of his toys and I took a real shine to his lead soldiers. While he wasn't looking, I decided to try out a bit of kleptomania and stuffed them down my shorts.

Rather than go home as scheduled, they decided to take us out to the park for a picnic instead. This put me in an awkward position regarding my thievery, as walking around with lead soldiers down your pants isn't very comfortable. I'd be okay though as long as I pushed through the discomfort and acted normal. Just a couple of hours and then home free.

When we got to the park, the kids were given some bread to go over and feed the ducks. So over we go and begin breaking up the bread and flinging it to them.

A large piece of my bread fell short, so I decided to reach over for it. Unfortunately, I leaned a bit too far and you guessed it, into the duck pond I go, head first.

My grandmother shrieked and ran over. At this point I'm completely submerged, I'm out of my depth. I'm sinking to the bottom. All I can see is a greeny blue hue of the water around me.

Luckily she managed to reef me out by the hair and I avoid an early watery grave.

Everyone is over at this point, watching the commotion, making sure I'm okay - they decide it's best if they get me out of my wet clothes as they may be covered in duck waste. The pond looks filthy.

After the absolute fear of almost drowning I then remember - the lead soldiers!

I refuse to get undressed. They all think it's down to self conscious fears.. little do they know I have a WW2 platoon down my pants.

So the boy I stole from then offers me his shirt. Great. There's no way out of this now, I have to come clean.

My grandmother is mortified. My newly found posh cousin friend is surprisingly okay with it, I guess he assumes this is what his 'not so posh' relatives get up to.

For the rest of the afternoon, I sat, rather sheepishly, beside my grandmother while all the other children were off playing with the lead soldiers.

I'm still reminded about the above to this day.

Aww, I didn't think this was cringey, just a little boy who really wanted something that his cousin was able to take for granted.
You were a tenacious little fella too, o1s1n

Daveysil15

eisenberg1 wrote: »

"Ribbed for her pleasure", a friend (ahem) was so selfish when on the job, he used to turn them inside out:D

:pac: That's a good idea actually. I always hated the ribbed ones. I may as well be wrapping bubble wrap around my lad.

Tasden

Daveysil15 wrote: »

:pac: That's a good idea actually. I always hated the ribbed ones. I may as well be wrapping bubble wrap around my lad.

It just confused me tbh..?..

Lisha

Love the thread

I was stopped on way to work lately by a Garda doing usual tax/insurance checks on cars.

He looked at the discs and gestured for me to open passenger window. I complied .

'Youve no NCT for this vehicle' he said

'What ....I must certainly do' I said 'it's not due again til May '

He looked at discs again, grinned, stuck his hand in the window and removed new insurance disc which was covering NCT disc.

I could not stop laughing. I was Scarlett. Later told story to a Garda friend of mine. She was in tears .


A while back I had my child in buggy and popped into Supervalu for a few bits.
As usual I picked up way too much fir basket and was juggling a bit . Enroute to tills I spotted a 3litre of comfort was reduced . The deal was too good to pass up so on top of the buggy it went.
At till as I was taking off basket the bloody comfort slipped and bounced off the floor breaking and totally destroying the legs of poor guy that was behind me, his shoes and his trousers were destroyed. I could barely apologies I was sick with shame. Felt so bad for him

sopretty

Lisha wrote: »

Love the thread

I was stopped on way to work lately by a Garda doing usual tax/insurance checks on cars.

He looked at the discs and gestured for me to open passenger window. I complied .

'Youve no NCT for this vehicle' he said

'What ....I must certainly do' I said 'it's not due again til May '

He looked at discs again, grinned, stuck his hand in the window and removed new insurance disc which was covering NCT disc.

I could not stop laughing. I was Scarlett. Later told story to a Garda friend of mine. She was in tears .


A while back I had my child in buggy and popped into Supervalu for a few bits.
As usual I picked up way too much fir basket and was juggling a bit . Enroute to tills I spotted a 3litre of comfort was reduced . The deal was too good to pass up so on top of the buggy it went.
At till as I was taking off basket the bloody comfort slipped and bounced off the floor breaking and totally bickering the legs poor guy that was behind me, his shoes and his trousers were destroyed. I could barely apologies I was sick with shame. Felt so bad for him

The only thing I find funny about this post is the following (I'm a simpleton):

'Youve no NCT for this vehicle' he said :pac:

Mollyd90

Adamantium wrote: »

When I was about 7 or 8, on sunday morning at Mass when the priest was blessing up Eucharist. I was sitting at the very edge of the centre isle

I had a total brain fart moment and I raised my arms and hands outstretched in unison with the priest.

That's one of the funniest things I've heard in a while. Bursting my arse laughing here and the dog is looking at me wondering what's going on

ringadingding

There was a family living in our building, my wife got friendly with the wife, the family were having a really tough time, no possessions, 3 kids, really dire straights.

It was coming upto Christmas and we were seeing what we could do to help them.
Asked the lads In work for any toys the kids don't play with, got an old iPad 1 etc, a nice little haul.

Sat down with my 5 year old and explained that some children don't have things like she does, and could she choose some toys to give away, she was brilliant and generous and excited about the whole thing.

Anyway, my wife discreetly invited the parents to pop up for coffee and that we had some stuff they could wrap up from Santa for the kids, they were really humbled and pleased and said they'd pop up.

Well, My little one was literally quivering with the excitement to show the stuff,
The doorbell went and she was hopping and skipping and pulled open the door to them and shouted down to me

" DAAAAAD, the Poor people are here"

eisenberg1

Tasden wrote: »

It just confused me tbh..?..

Still confused??:eek:

wp_rathead

ringadingding wrote: »

" DAAAAAD, the Poor people are here"

Hahaha ah cheers for that !

MRnotlob606

Last summer I was doing some volunteering with a summer camp, The day before it me and about 20 other leaders were playing games to get to know each other better, There was one particular game where we had to sit in a circle and think of something beginning with the first letter of your name, for example You Would say something like "My Name is kevin and I like kitchens" and basically you had to try remember all of the names and associations of all the people who were before you. When it was my turn I could remember all the names and that without any effort but when I had to think of something I said "My Name is Rob and I like Turtles"

Well everybody erupted laugther

LynnGrace

ringadingding wrote: »

There was a family living in our building, my wife got friendly with the wife, the family were having a really tough time, no possessions, 3 kids, really dire straights.

It was coming upto Christmas and we were seeing what we could do to help them.
Asked the lads In work for any toys the kids don't play with, got an old iPad 1 etc, a nice little haul.

Sat down with my 5 year old and explained that some children don't have things like she does, and could she choose some toys to give away, she was brilliant and generous and excited about the whole thing.

Anyway, my wife discreetly invited the parents to pop up for coffee and that we had some stuff they could wrap up from Santa for the kids, they were really humbled and pleased and said they'd pop up.

Well, My little one was literally quivering with the excitement to show the stuff,
The doorbell went and she was hopping and skipping and pulled open the door to them and shouted down to me

" DAAAAAD, the Poor people are here"

Oh Gawd! I'd really love to know what happened next.

Irishcrx

Was at a festival in France a few years ago and a mate of mine was having some early morning stomach trouble , usual festival crack toilets are impossible but there was a town not far away so we strolled down for breakfast. He thought he could use the toilet in mcdonalds but when we got there the cue for it was out the door so off we went down to the local supermarket, get in and again the cue in miles long. I'll never forget the look on his face at this point , his world was shattered , he hunched over and clearly about to give up he ghost , he waddles hunched over outside to the car park and goes behind a van to relief himself as it was the only option left available other than ****ting his pants.

Didn't the bloody van drive off as he's in the act leaving him on show to the other hundreds of festival goers , I can only descripe it as horrifing what was streaming out of him and down the car park.

Not two ****s did he give at that point, on he went the hero.

TheBannerBoi75

Me and 5 mates went to Kos one time, some years ago now. After one of the nights we all wound up on different 6 different parts of the Island.. I awoke, in a barn, 10 miles from the centre of town, with only my jocks on and one of those old straw hats on my head. Sounds epic. It really was not Tough walk back to the apartment as well!

MRnotlob606

SaveOurLyric wrote: »

Once when I was Taoiseach, my Garda Commissioner had to resign due to most of the cabinet and dail having no confidence in him, and the whole of the country laughing at him after he made a fool of himself at a Public Accounts Committee hearing. Then, I stood up in the dail, and argued that he hadnt resigned, but he had retired. Then they were all laughing at me too. Chrrisht.

Oh jeez thanks boi

tonto24

Have 1 from school thats not really cringe but very humurous. In transition year we spent time with the special needs class in the school. Once a week we would do various activities cooking, games, plays etc. One of the students was after winning a medal for gymnastics in some games (it might have been Special Olympics, im not sure to be honest) and she was giving us a performance in the middle of the classroom with all the other students in a circle around her. All was going well until she bent over and stretched her leg up in the air......and left an enormous fart drop. For a split second there was complete silence until every person in the room, teachers included, broke into laughter. Thankfully the girl started laughing too and continued on with her performance

Kunkka

Literally had a cringe moment just now. Customer in our reception area had an uncanny resemblance to Forest Whittaker. After talking to him and going back I entered the room saying " Sorry for the delay Forest". Looked at me like I had two heads thereafter, it took every part of my being to not burst out laughing. Christ

errlloyd

Kunkka wrote: »

Literally had a cringe moment just now. Customer in our reception area had an uncanny resemblance to Forest Whittaker. After talking to him and going back I entered the room saying " Sorry for the delay Forest". Looked at me like I had two heads thereafter, it took every part of my being to not burst out laughing. Christ

Are you sure it wasn't Samuel L Jackson

GeorgeBailey

ringadingding wrote: »

There was a family living in our building, my wife got friendly with the wife, the family were having a really tough time, no possessions, 3 kids, really dire straights.

It was coming upto Christmas and we were seeing what we could do to help them.
Asked the lads In work for any toys the kids don't play with, got an old iPad 1 etc, a nice little haul.

Sat down with my 5 year old and explained that some children don't have things like she does, and could she choose some toys to give away, she was brilliant and generous and excited about the whole thing.

Anyway, my wife discreetly invited the parents to pop up for coffee and that we had some stuff they could wrap up from Santa for the kids, they were really humbled and pleased and said they'd pop up.

Well, My little one was literally quivering with the excitement to show the stuff,
The doorbell went and she was hopping and skipping and pulled open the door to them and shouted down to me

" DAAAAAD, the Poor people are here"

Good story, well told. Fair play.

Maldesu

This was cringey-ish for my mum, less so me

This happened when I was about 8 or so. There was a woman who lived a few houses away, but she was always horrible to everyone including her own kid. Anyway, her husband was in the army so he was always away, so she found various others to entertain her, including a priest from the next parish. Everyone knew, but only ever discussed it behind closed doors and in hushed tones.

However, kids have a knack for picking up on these things and I was no different. So, one day when I was cycling around I passed her house and recognised the priests car. So when I returned close to my house I yelled for my mum to come out. She came racing out thinking something had happened. This was also a Sunday, a nice sunny Sunday, so half the neighbours were out in the gardens and such. Anyway, knowing I had everyone's attention, I yelled out very loudly:

Mammy, the priest is up with Mrs. (name) house if you need confession!

Mum was morto and could just about nod before legging it into the house to break herself laughing. She told me about it years later and said I definitely knew what I was doing.

ibarelycare

This just happened me today on Tinder

http://i.imgur.com/OPzd8DB.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/77KzIlX.jpg


(I checked collegetimes.com before I sent the last message, and my fears were confirmed!)

ibarelycare

ibarelycare wrote: »

This just happened me today on Tinder

http://i.imgur.com/29pIVQV.png
http://i.imgur.com/gOYTaV5.png


(I checked collegetimes.com before I sent the last message, and my fears were confirmed!)

Love it!