2015 brides!

fits

Does anyone have a program or order of service for a humanist ceremony they could email me? I will pm my email address. Just not sure what to include or leave out.

fits

I actually found a couple online. Am unsure how much text to include. If we are outside and its windy it might be difficult for those in the back to hear everything. Also have some non native speakers there. But. There is one poem in particular and I want people to listen to it rather than read it. Sister is reciting it and she has a good projecting voice.

hmm.

Milly33

Did you take a look at this ladies site she has some great pointers http://www.sineadnicgabhann.com/ might have something Fits.

yes talc is a gem for the hot days...

Mum really is being silly I did tell her the friends and all that goes, and even himself at the beginning was kinda of why are you inviting friends of your mums, and I stuck up for her but now it is just being silly really. even to the point of today I called up to drop something up and she barley spoke to me..It is so unlike her but has really disappointed me as I did say no no she has to have her friends and now it is like no you cant have this last couple they can come to the afters. tis like I told her she could not go

kildareash

Oh, that's really difficult Milly. Can you sit her down and talk about it reasonably.
Maybe tell her she can invite a certain amount of her friends to the whole day and make her choose which ones??

I thought I'd have that problem with my MIL, but so far she's been fine. I'm waiting on her to start TBH. We thought she'd want all her girlfriends there, but she's happy with the people that we're inviting. But we've continually said that they can invite who they like to the afters.

Going to ring the parish office this morning and see what the deal is with the priest. I met the secretary a couple of weeks ago and she was getting really confused about who was marrying us. I should have been more suspicious at the time.

Milly33

Best of luck today Kildareash hopefully he will be able to do it now.. Let us know how it goes..Ill keep my fingers crossed for you..

Yeah to be honest I am really shocked with it. I said from day one and too her that she lets say she has four friends I said right you can have, two to the mains and 2 to the afters, or she can have 3 to the mains and 1 to the afters and this was pushing it now.... As there is one family I would love to invite for my dad but because my mum is having her friends I can only invite these to the afters....

And its like nope, she wants it her way or no way.. Even got the whole thing of we will pay for my friends to go, but it isn't even that it is the fact that
one he doesn't know her friends,
two we cannot fit them and
three it is unfair to think that he would not invite one of his friends to fit her friends when it is quite obvious that I have more family there than he does.... I know we are closer but it is really a case of 70, 30 my side being the bigger side..

I am hoping she will come around and stop acting like this as while I can say look this is that and carry on with this, I know she will not be able to not think about it or get over it..Which is just going to spoil things

Milly33

sorry about the rant ladies just a bit hard, this month was suppose to be plain sailing

fits

Sorry Milly. Our parents are annoyed they cant avoid friends also. We didn't allow them to invite any at all. Now we have had lots of dropouts (expected, unexpected, and some very justified) and we are a good bit under capacity now. I would have liked to ask some more friends and all. Its very difficult to manage the guestlist.

kildareash

Don't be sorry Milly, rant away. We all know how hard it is to please everyone. I hope your mam realises she is being unreasonable and backs down.

Don't worry about the uneveness of the guest list...OH has far more family and friends than I have. But after 10 years we consider our friends all mutual now and there are even some of his cousins that I would be good friends with now.

Pistachios & cream

Milly it must be very annoying when someone cannot respect the decisions you made for your wedding and it sounds like you have been more then reasonable with inviting people.

We had an issue with ours where we had to invite the child of one of our guests. I didn't mind inviting the child as i have loads of nieces and nephews so it's hardly a child free wedding. but the way they went about it was very manipulative and caused drama. I can't understand why they couldn't contact us directly and explain the situation instead of involving my OH's mother. Just left a bad taste.

Anyway i don't think it would be a proper Irish wedding without at least 1 guestlist drama!

Milly33

True there must be some drama, in fairness we have escaped lightly with it so far..

I was thinking I could just do it and let the extra friend go but really she wasn't on the list from the start so I don't see why I would have too.. I said that to mum if she wants to wait too see who cannot go and who can but that she will be letting her friends have very short notice if they are invited or not...

What did this lady do then ahayes! Sounds interesting..

I cant wait to see the kids at the wedding, I have my two nephews hopefully three of them and my cousins kids going all girls and hopefully a few more. I love seeing kids at weddings busting moves...

amor3

I'm the opposite. I'm having a child free wedding, only my own and nieces and nephew. 5 children in total. I have told everyone this from day 1 and now mil is really causing major hassle, 1 of her nieces, my oh's cousin, will have no one to mind her daughter, (don't know if this is true )so she is pushing for her to go, which will send ripples through the rest of them and if you really start asking one, where does it end. They have loads of family so it would be like a creche which is not what i want for my wedding, each to their own but it's not for me . And also mil has a second cousin and she wants us to invite her young daughter as well, she keeps saying she won't bring her but just to put her on the invite... what's the point of that!!! I'm even hesitant to ask the second cousin as it is, never mind her daughter!

Any way, had hair and make up trials this morning, really made it all very real, have butterflies in my stomach since, but all good :-)

kildareash

I'm with you amor3....don't really want kids there either. Other than our own kids, who will be 3 and almost 2, we will have my 7yo niece and 9yo nephew at the wedding, the other nieces and nephews are adults and teens.
I brought my daughter to a family wedding because his aunt wanted all the nieces and nephews there, and never again. She was grand as she was only 9 months old and not creeping or anything, but I couldn't relax and have a few drinks and enjoy the day. I couldn't enjoy my meal because I was making sure she was eating.
Another time a friend imposed their son on the bride and groom 'because he loves weddings'...it was awful. He fell and hit his head off the pew in the church, so the dad had to take him out to stop him crying (poor little guy really walloped himself). They had to take turns eating their meal because he wanted to run around, they were constantly up and down or he was interrupting them and it just made the rest of us at the table feel uncomfortable too.
I feel bad, putting our kids through our own wedding, but the 3yo is so excited about it...apparently she's not going to bed either because she has to dance.

How long for you now Amor3???

Milly33

Oh I get that tis either one or the other with the kids. Must say most of the ones going to mine now they are for the most part above 6 so fingers crossed haha they will just be terrors and not falling around...

It is frustrating though I can imagine if you don't want them all there for people to be pushing them to be allowed go. I remember my sis got a little put out one time as they flew in for a wedding as such and it was no kids, and lets say the brides kids were there.. But who cares that was their thing to call not anyone elses..

The trails do make it all see more real doesn't it, or the little things like getting the dress now I was like omg this is really happening... We got our rings too at the weekend and it was a bit well now would you look at them.. Still think I will have to get them sized up as they are tight....

amor3

September, kildareash, little under 11 weeks!

Yeah, i feel the same about the kids, i have an entertainer for the meal and speeches , they will bring them on a nature walk and arts and crafts and stuff like that and have dinner, its a 3 hour package, but they would much prefer to do that than be stuck in the room being told to sit down and the likes, they will be back for the disco and then my own kids are going to bed before the dj set or maybe even earlier depending how they feel, they are only 4 and 1 so can't keep them up all night. I have an 18 year old as well, so he's obviously fine.

kildareash

Similar ages to my own so. We have a childminder organised just to look after them on the day and I know their aunts and uncles will help out too. My biggest worries are making sure they eat enough so they sleep all night and don't wake at crazy o'clock with rumbling tummies and getting them to bed without a row. I'm sure it will be all fine on the day, and if I have to go up and read them a story or whatever then so be it. Even though our house is close by, I think we're going to keep them in the hotel with the family so we're all together the next morning. But at least they have the option of going home after the meal or something, if they totally wrecked.

Faith

fits wrote: »

Now we have had lots of dropouts (expected, unexpected, and some very justified) and we are a good bit under capacity now. I would have liked to ask some more friends and all. Its very difficult to manage the guestlist.

We're having the same issue, and we've got to meet a minimum number with our hotel . We'll be lucky to hit that, which means we'll have a decline rate of about 30%. Most of it is just people not bringing a +1 - we seem to have a lot of single guests! I assumed most people would bring a guest, but it seems not. We did allow our parents to invite friends though, because our friends groups have been ravaged by emigration so we had space.

fits

A lot of my friends aren't bringing a plus one either. Seems to be a new trend!

I would say it is stressful with minimum numbers alright. I have to say our venue have been great in that regard.

Milly33

What does the hotel do as such if ye don't meant the min amount..is it that they still charge you for whats booked or how does it work..

This is kinda why we done the hole waves with the invites.. As we really could fit 110 people anymore and it would be silly so we made our list, sent out the first lot and waited till they got back and took it from there then with the rest of the invites.. Must say it is frustrating the way people don't reply with the RSVPs you like what are ye doing with them...

have a few friends saying they would bring no one also, I suggested bringing someone else but a lot were saying it was fine.. Maybe they would like to mingle freely...

Kids nature walk and art sounds great.. I was delighted I hope the day is nice now but I got these free teddies just mini beanies and I ordered these badges that you can scratch you name into them. was planning to have a treasure hunt as such to find your own bear and then you name him and pop the badge on him... Have another few bits too if ye were looking for any bits I came across this site it is great Baker Ross they have lots of sets and good deals on bulk buys..

Faith

Milly33 wrote: »

What does the hotel do as such if ye don't meant the min amount..is it that they still charge you for whats booked or how does it work..

With our hotel, we either have to pay a fairly hefty room hire fee, or pay for the minimum number even if that many people aren't there. I think we *should* make the numbers, but I'm really thrown by the fact that it's a struggle. We thought we'd only have about a 10% decline rate!

Milly33

I see jes I hope ye make it now. I suppose even if ye don't did ye have it budgeted in just incase. I know the budget goes a bit askew after a while.. we were told around 10% too, for canellations. So far we have 93 and are waiting on 23 to come back I hope they do soon I hate asking people but if needs be....

amor3

Yeah kildareash, i'l be the same but they are usually good eaters so hopefully they won't be too over excited on the day to stop them eating. I have a babysitter from the hotel taking them up to my mam's room in the evening, so i'l probably go and sit with them for a while to settle them.

Milly, we have minimum numbers and if we don't meet that we will be charged regardless, but we have a reserve list on standby for any declines we might get.. how terrible does that sound, but we really could not afford to go to far over the minimum numbers, we are over by 20 as it stands and if money were no object another 20 or 30, could easily go on it.

Faith

Milly33 wrote: »

I see jes I hope ye make it now. I suppose even if ye don't did ye have it budgeted in just incase. I know the budget goes a bit askew after a while.. we were told around 10% too, for canellations. So far we have 93 and are waiting on 23 to come back I hope they do soon I hate asking people but if needs be....

Yeah, it's budgeted for but it's just a pain in the ass . I'm afraid everyone will be lost in the big room too, because it means there'll be fewer tables. But sure we're paying them enough for them to have the skill to make the room look full .

Milly33

Ah I am sure it will look great faith don't worry about it, a friend has similar worry and hers was fine and it was way less than she thought..

were the same amor3 well I suppose the opposite as such as we can only fit a certain amount of people, so 110 is max other than that we would have to rent a marquee so that is where we are stuck to numbers, we don't want to jam people in and make it uncomfortable for them

fits

So it looks like I will have my heavy period day on my wedding day. And perhaps associated cramps and tummy upset. Disaster

Milly33

Oh noo!! Do you suffer with them? Any chance if you are on the pill of maybe continuing it through...

trying to plan mine this month now I think I am going to manage to get mine the week or two weeks before which is good, ill be over the ahh I want to kill all moment..

fits

Im not on the pill. Usually cycle is 25 days which would be today. But my feeling is it'll go to 28 this time. Know the body fairly well now.

Dolbert

You can take a medication norethisterone to delay your period for a few days, it's often used for holidays etc.

fits

Its probably too late! But I will look into it. I was hoping it would arrive on time and Id be all set for wedding and honeymoon, but no such luck! Its just a few hours that are bad and its not every month hence my reluctance to interfere with it. But when its bad, its bad.

amor3

fits wrote: »

Its probably too late! But I will look into it. I was hoping it would arrive on time and Id be all set for wedding and honeymoon, but no such luck! Its just a few hours that are bad and its not every month hence my reluctance to interfere with it. But when its bad, its bad.

Maybe the stress (if you are stressed that is) will bring it on or delay it by a couple of days either side and the heavy flow will be passed by the day itself.

fits

AND the weather forecast is not good! ARGH!