People trying to pawn their old baby stuff off on you...

JessayW91

i totally understand where op is coming from. I am planning on buying the quinny buzz travel system because it seems to be a really good deal, however some of my family have been complaining about the price of it and they are trying to pawn off a pushchair that my little cousin was in ten years ago. i get that they are coming from a loving place and they want to help out a lot, but at the same time, i am paying for the travel system out of my own pocket and i havnt asked for anyone to buy me anything. My MIL gave me a bag of clothes from a friend, that had early/tiny baby size. needless to say, they have been left in the bag, a premature baby is not something I am planning on, so i really dont feel comfortable having these items in my wardrobe. however, they wil come in very handy if I do have an early baby.

i really do appreciate people offering items that they have, but one family member was extremely offended when I declined her offer of her childs old bottles....i mean, why would I take another childs bottles..hormones have a big part to play in this whole situation, as I cant handle this nice gestures!!!!

Hello Lady!

My advice is to take the bottles. You would be surprised how expensive bottles can be and not all bottles suit all babies. For example I had Tommy Tippee bottles initially, initially I only had a few as I was planning on breastfeeding. When that didn't go to plan I needed to combine feed and had to buy more bottles. Then my girls got colic and constipation so moved to comfort formula. This meant I had to buy new teats for all the bottles. But at that point A didn't like the Tommy Tippee so bought a supply of Avent for her. Luckily someone gave me a steriliser for them or that would have been more details sense. But even after all that they were still colicky and then I had to buy Dr Brown's bottles and large teats. In all we have spent almost €200 on bottles and teats. Granted I need to buy enough bottles for two, but even if it were only 1 it would have been at least €100.

I would have been delighted if someone gave me a load of bottles. Just buy new teats for them. I mean actually when you think about it the most sterile things you can be given are probably bottles!

If you are a first time mum until you actually have your baby and get into the swing of things you actually don't appreciate just what things you need and what is useful and what is expensive. Sometimes the things you are offered are offered in good faith and you just don't realise their value when you are still pregnant. I certainly didn't.

Chattastrophe!

Hello Lady! wrote: »

If you are a first time mum until you actually have your baby and get into the swing of things you actually don't appreciate just what things you need and what is useful and what is expensive. Sometimes the things you are offered are offered in good faith and you just don't realise their value when you are still pregnant. I certainly didn't.

This is so true.

For example, when I needed a breast pump, I wouldn't have even considered a second-hand one.

Now that I've had and used one (for all of about two weeks, after paying €160 for it ), I can see there's not a thing wrong with using a second-hand one, and I just wish I'd gone for that option! Sure in the hospital, if you use one, you're sharing it with several other women on the ward!

As for bottles, as you said, there's nothing going to be sterilised more. And you just don't know what will/won't work until baby is here.

I still wouldn't use a second-hand car seat or second-hand mattresses. And as you mentioned, I'd want new teats for the bottles.

Pretty much anything else I'd be happy to use, though!

Millem

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

This is so true.

For example, when I needed a breast pump, I wouldn't have even considered a second-hand one.

Now that I've had and used one (for all of about two weeks, after paying €160 for it ), I can see there's not a thing wrong with using a second-hand one, and I just wish I'd gone for that option! Sure in the hospital, if you use one, you're sharing it with several other women on the ward!

As for bottles, as you said, there's nothing going to be sterilised more. And you just don't know what will/won't work until baby is here.

I still wouldn't use a second-hand car seat or second-hand mattresses. And as you mentioned, I'd want new teats for the bottles.

Pretty much anything else I'd be happy to use, though!

I was shocked at the price of teats! I got my tommee tippee (6 big ones for €10 on amazon) and avent bottles (2 for €8 in local chemist) on sale
Tommee tippee need new size teat after 3 months and avent is a new teat after 1 month. I was going to order my new teats on amazon and was shocked at the price! I was then thinking it is probably cheaper to buy new bottles but all the TT ones seem to be size 1 teat! I got everything brand new except for Moses basket (which is our families that my mum insists we all use) and I found it so hard to get a new mattress to fit as it's bigger than the modern ones plus I also couldn't get new covers to fit either so had to make one myself! It would of been cheaper and easier just to buy a new one! I borrowed an electric double breast pump and used it for a day and found it brill so rented a hospital grade one as I was terrified that I would burn out the motor on the one I borrowed as I was exclusively pumping! My milk ended up drying up 2 weeks later

Hello Lady!

Millem wrote: »

I was then thinking it is probably cheaper to buy new bottles but all the TT ones seem to be size 1 teat

Yeah I reckon they do it on purpose as they know you will need the teats as baby grows. Big old swizz it is! Lol

Same here re pump. I wish I had been able to borrow one. I bought one and only got 6 weeks use out of it as I just couldn't keep it up, pumping for twins was just too time consuming. That's €160 I'll never see again! If I'm lucky I will sell it for half that

January

Hello Lady! wrote: »

Yeah I reckon they do it on purpose as they know you will need the teats as baby grows. Big old swizz it is! Lol

Same here re pump. I wish I had been able to borrow one. I bought one and only got 6 weeks use out of it as I just couldn't keep it up, pumping for twins was just too time consuming. That's €160 I'll never see again! If I'm lucky I will sell it for half that

I bought two Medela Swing breast pumps on adverts for €70... grabbed myself a total bargain there.

Moonbeam

we still use Tommee Tippee size 1 teats @13months old:)
I am always happy when people offer me stuff for the kids.
Bottles are really cheap so I probably would refuse them,the teats are the expensive bit though.
I have used the same bottles for all 3 of mine but bought new teats,we used Advent bottles initially but they were a disaster.

Chattastrophe!

I hate the Avent bottles, absolutely hate them!

We use the Tommee Tippee ones.

Actually, we got a sample Mothercare own-brand one along with our steriliser and it was great, I'd be happy to use those ones too!

Hello Lady!

Have to use the larger size teats for the thicker comfort milk when we decided to give the Dr Brown's a try we had to buy them with the size 1 teats knowing they would never be used. :mad:

Millem

January wrote: »

I bought two Medela Swing breast pumps on adverts for €70... grabbed myself a total bargain there.

If those swing pumps use the same "collection kit" (tubes and bottles/containers) as the symphony you can buy them new around €36 for a double from Medicare! The tubes can get condensation in them the more you use them!

sawdoubters

I have an old birthing bath I was goig to throw out do you want it

its a bit rusty

Mink

Most of baby stuff I got was second hand and I've passed on some things.

But if something is in disrepair (mouldy, stained, bits broken, bits missing, safety issue, torn etc etc) bin it, don't try and give it to someone else or charity shop.

Scortho wrote: »

I'd donate them to charities op.
Some people genuinely appreciate getting free baby stuff, as it's an expensive time and keeps costs down.

She said that the stuff he came home with was stained, broken, bits missing. I think that's crappy to try pawn unusable or nearly unusable stuff on other people. If it goes to the charity shop, they can't sell it and end up having to pay for disposal (or will straight up tell you no they dont' want it).

The Muppet wrote: »

Either that or he hasn't got the balls to tell his wife that having being gifted a perfectly usable cot which will do the job perfectly well, there's no need to go to the expense of purchasing a new one just because its a differnt style shape or colour.

I'd imagine he was hoping she would have come to this conclusion herself when the gifted cot arrived home. It's a male thing.

She already said she didn't want the cot. I think it's fair to want to get one new thing for baby.

Penny Dreadful

I'd be delighted to take clothes, blankets and toys that are in a good state of repair and are clean oh and baby monitors too and a high chair when needed.
However this is our first baby and I'm hoping (although after the way I've been feeling the last few days I don't know why) it won't be our last! and so I'd like to get a new cot, buggy and car seat that is just for us.....the kids that come after can share!
There are some people I'd be happier to accept things from than others though. My two sisters have kids close in age and they swapped lots back and over but knew the stuff they were giving was in good condition and had been minded. I'm not so sure I'd be as happy to accept things from my sister in law who has two little ones herself. A lot of the stuff she got was second hand anyway and I didn't like any of it so I hope we're not going to have to say "thanks but no thanks" to her for those things. Her spare clothes would go down a treat though!

Moonbeam

sawdoubters wrote: »

I have an old birthing bath I was goig to throw out do you want it

its a bit rusty

unhelpful posting will not be tolerated!

John Mason

we havent bought one single thing for the baby.

everything has been given to us by friends/family. saved us a fortune, am delighted

implausible

I think the OP has to accept that people have different standards of what's acceptable to give to other people. I have washed, cleaned and sterilised every reusable item of baby equipment I own and stored it away carefully, either for my own use or someone else's. Any crappy stuff I have disposed of or put into charity bins (where they get paid by weight, not quality) I sold things too and made sure they were spotless before handing them over.

However, I do know some people who would just fire the stuff they've finished with into a box and never look at it again until they think of someone who might need it. There are also people who simply don't see dirt or who think no one else will notice it. I bought a bouncing thing second hand that I had to do a cleaning job on before I let the wee woman into it, but it was way cheaper than the new one, the only one for sale on my area and I needed it, so I got on with it. Personally, I would be mortified to sell/lend something that was less than spotless, but we are all different.

Most of the time offers of stuff come from a good place and you genuinely never know until Baby arrives when the unwanted, unloved second hand thing will come in handy e.g. an extra cot or bouncer could be useful in a grandparent's house

IvyTheTerrible

nikpmup wrote: »

I would say a nice thank you card would suffice - it's a bit mad to say thank you for a present with a present! I got really nice cards printed out in Boots on the photo print booths, they've a photo of Hugo and text to say thank you for your generous gift, yadda yadda, love nikpmup, mr nikpmup and Hugo. They cost about 20 cent each to print, and are really nice.

That's what we did too! It's sort of a French tradition.

We bought very little new (bar the mattress and a car seat), we don't earn a lot of money and we were very grateful that people were so generous. We have held onto everything good quality that we no longer use, we'll either use it ourselves if we have another child or pass it on to family.

d4b

Oh dear, I am preganant with our first baby and I know all our friends and family are going to want to give us some old things, Yes I am very grateful its just that with this being our first and we are so excited we cant wait to pick out our buggy etc. I dont mind clothes etc as I think that you can never have too many clothes for your baby. x

ncmc

It’s funny, I have changed my tune in the last couple of months about this. Before I was happy to get anything that was given to me, but I have had some experiences recently of the in laws trying to off load stuff I either don’t want or that is in a less than stellar condition. My husband wants me to take it and dump it, but I don’t want to set a precedent of accepting everything and also, why should we fill our bin with their crap! My MIL offered me a changing mat last week and it was totally manky. I told her I had bought one (which is true) but now she is trying to off load a baby bath which has been in their attic for god knows how long. Something like a changing mat and bath I would want to buy new, even if the one being offered was pristine.

My sis in law got a bit humpy with us when she bought a changing unit second hand for a friend who then didn’t want it, so she was trying to off load it on us. We don’t really have space for a changing unit downstairs and already have one for upstairs so we said no. She kept going on about how we wouldn’t be running up and down stairs to change the baby and how we needed one in the kitchen, we don’t have space FFS and when the baby is small, I intend to just use a changing mat on the couch to change him. I know people mean well, but why can’t they just accept if you say no. Maybe I will change my tune about the changing table, but let me make my own mistakes for now!

Hello Lady!

ncmc wrote: »

It’s funny, I have changed my tune in the last couple of months about this. Before I was happy to get anything that was given to me, but I have had some experiences recently of the in laws trying to off load stuff I either don’t want or that is in a less than stellar condition. My husband wants me to take it and dump it, but I don’t want to set a precedent of accepting everything and also, why should we fill our bin with their crap! My MIL offered me a changing mat last week and it was totally manky. I told her I had bought one (which is true) but now she is trying to off load a baby bath which has been in their attic for god knows how long. Something like a changing mat and bath I would want to buy new, even if the one being offered was pristine.

My sis in law got a bit humpy with us when she bought a changing unit second hand for a friend who then didn’t want it, so she was trying to off load it on us. We don’t really have space for a changing unit downstairs and already have one for upstairs so we said no. She kept going on about how we wouldn’t be running up and down stairs to change the baby and how we needed one in the kitchen, we don’t have space FFS and when the baby is small, I intend to just use a changing mat on the couch to change him. I know people mean well, but why can’t they just accept if you say no. Maybe I will change my tune about the changing table, but let me make my own mistakes for now!

I hear what you are saying, but I think you may well reconsider the changing table! We are very limited for space too but after 2 weeks of changing baby on the sofa/floor my back was broke. Went and bought a second hand one from adverts.ie. same with the bath - thought there would be no problem putting the baby bath in the actual bath or putting the bath on the floor but again my back was broke and when the girls were tiny I found it more awkward to safely hold them. The changing table has a bath in it.

Not saying you have to take the gift of a second hand one, but you may well decide to buy one.

If you are really stuck for space, what about one that folds flat when not in use? Ikea used to do them but not anymore I'm afraid. But there are a couple of them on adverts.ie.

Millem

Hello Lady! wrote: »

I hear what you are saying, but I think you may well reconsider the changing table! We are very limited for space too but after 2 weeks of changing baby on the sofa/floor my back was broke. Went and bought a second hand one from adverts.ie. same with the bath - thought there would be no problem putting the baby bath in the actual bath or putting the bath on the floor but again my back was broke and when the girls were tiny I found it more awkward to safely hold them. The changing table has a bath in it.

Not saying you have to take the gift of a second hand one, but you may well decide to buy one.

If you are really stuck for space, what about one that folds flat when not in use? Ikea used to do them but not anymore I'm afraid. But there are a couple of them on adverts.ie.

Totally agree with getting another changing table! When the PHN came to visit she hold us to get one for downstairs for my back! I got two on adverts the ikea one for €10 and a nicer white one for €15! Immaculate condition. I had bought the ikea bath but I am just bathing him in the sink now

pwurple

I never got any kind of changing table. Didn't need one. I used a chest of drawers next to a shelf upstairs usually. With an ikea change mat on it. Floor, bed, sofa, chest of drawers, big shelf, grass, your lap. It's all grand.

nikpmup

pwurple wrote: »

I never got any kind of changing table. Didn't need one. I used a chest of drawers next to a shelf upstairs usually. With an ikea change mat on it. Floor, bed, sofa, chest of drawers, big shelf, grass, your lap. It's all grand.

Exactly what I have, chest of drawers with an ikea mat on it. (That my sister gave me, in the spirit of the thread!) I always bring him upstairs to change him - I did get a load of "you'll be up & down the stairs constantly!" But sure it's just a few stairs, no biggie.

January

nikpmup wrote: »

Exactly what I have, chest of drawers with an ikea mat on it. (That my sister gave me, in the spirit of the thread!) I always bring him upstairs to change him - I did get a load of "you'll be up & down the stairs constantly!" But sure it's just a few stairs, no biggie.

That's your workout done

spurious

First world problems.

January

spurious wrote: »

First world problems.

How so though? Second hand is fine, to an extent... when the stuff people are trying to pass onto you is in bits then it does get to be a problem.

spurious

January wrote: »

How so though? Second hand is fine, to an extent... when the stuff people are trying to pass onto you is in bits then it does get to be a problem.

I would agree where something is soiled or obviously unusable on a health basis, but when it's just not the 'style' someone wanted, people must have money to burn if they turn it down.
It's the same issue where anyone over 35, when they moved out of home were inundated with the 'brown suite' we all got from relatives/friends - and we were happy with it. It worked until we could afford better. Now it's all spend, spend, spend on new things, when there is no need. Far better save money and spend it on other stuff for the child. It's not like the child even knows what sort of cot they are in.

nikpmup

January wrote: »

That's your workout done

You'd think! I don't have time to eat during the day, and I'm up & down those stairs like a yo-yo (mostly because I'm dizzy and I keep forgetting stuff, & have to run upstairs to get it!) I should be a size 6!

ncmc

pwurple wrote: »

I never got any kind of changing table. Didn't need one. I used a chest of drawers next to a shelf upstairs usually. With an ikea change mat on it. Floor, bed, sofa, chest of drawers, big shelf, grass, your lap. It's all grand.

nikpmup wrote: »

Exactly what I have, chest of drawers with an ikea mat on it. (That my sister gave me, in the spirit of the thread!) I always bring him upstairs to change him - I did get a load of "you'll be up & down the stairs constantly!" But sure it's just a few stairs, no biggie.

That's what I'm hoping to do as well. For upstairs we 'customized' an old chest of drawers we weren't using i.e. cut the top couple of drawers off it to get it to the right height and have securely attached a changing mat to it. It's brilliant, loads of drawers and much better quality than the cheap ones you get in Mothercare etc.

I'm just not a fan of the plastic ones with the basin in them. I know it sounds stupid, but i hate the plastic baby stuff is made of! I just think it looks awful! I'm trying to find a nice wooden high chair to avoid getting a plastic one. Hopefully i'll be fit enough to go upstairs to change the baby or a changing mat that can be put away for downstairs. But I know I could be changing my tune after a couple of weeks! I just hate the way people are so insistent about things, people have different needs/wants etc and it's unfair to try and force things if you've politely said no.

ncmc

spurious wrote: »

I would agree where something is soiled or obviously unusable on a health basis, but when it's just not the 'style' someone wanted, people must have money to burn if they turn it down.
It's the same issue where anyone over 35, when they moved out of home were inundated with the 'brown suite' we all got from relatives/friends - and we were happy with it. It worked until we could afford better. Now it's all spend, spend, spend on new things, when there is no need. Far better save money and spend it on other stuff for the child. It's not like the child even knows what sort of cot they are in.

While I agree with you to an extent spurious, there is nothing wrong with wanting nice things. With baby furniture, cots etc it's something you are going to be looking at for years. Would you put up with mismatched crappy furniture in your own bedroom for years and years? There is nothing wrong with wanting nice, new, matching furniture. If someone can afford it and wants it, then why should they be made to feel guilty?

I am lucky that my sister is giving me an amazing cot that I could never afford myself and as I said in my previous post, I have customized some existing furniture to fit the babies room, but I wouldn't put up with old crappy furniture that looked awful. I want the nursery to look pretty and nice as I will be spending a lot of time in it.

Most of the examples in this thread are people trying to get rid of pawn stuff of on you that is really only fit for the bin. No one should be made feel guilty or 'above themselves' for not wanting this stuff.