People trying to pawn their old baby stuff off on you...

fro9etb8j5qsl2

WTF is this about??? I can understand that some people are trying to be helpful by offering clothes, cots, buggies etc but since I've become pregnant it just seems like everyone is trying to use me as a dumping ground for their old baby crap :mad: Fair enough if it's something I want or need but the amount of times I've had to say no to the same people over and over is ridiculous :mad: A colleague of my OH offered him a cot (that has been used by 4 kids already) and I told him to say no because I already had the one I wanted picked out and the money put aside but lo and behold, he STILL arrived home with it during the week. Along with a bag of utter unusable sh1te Apparently, he didn't have the heart to tell yer man to go to yhe dump and pay to dispose of his own stuff :mad: :mad: :mad: So now we're stuck with a load of crap and a cot that is covered in marks and neither the style, shape nor colour of the one I wanted and the OH can't understand why I'm pissed off :rolleyes:

emeldc

I have an old breast pump here if it's any good to you :rolleyes:

Big Bag of Chips

People do think they are being helpful.... (And it also helps them clear out stuff too!)

Shpongler

Most people would be grateful, and glad others are thinking of them.
Grow up

Dave0301

I think the real issue here is your other half not having the balls to say no thanks in a polite way.

Yes it helps people get rid of old stuff, but they may see it as beneficial to both parties. Easily avoided by politely refusing!

emeldc

Shpongler wrote: »

Most people would be grateful, and glad others are thinking of them.
Grow up

Nah, yer man was delighted to get rid of the cot.

Thoie

I have some stuff that doesn't fit any more. It'll be a bit big for a newborn, but they'll grow into it in 35 years.

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Shpongler wrote: »

Most people would be grateful, and glad others are thinking of them.
Grow up

In fairness now, never mind about the cot but there was no question that the stuff in the bag could have ever been used again- a broken mobile, a load of stained baby vests and some toys that were literally falling apart and missing pieces. It was blatant dumping :rolleyes:

I do appreciate that people are trying to be helpful but giving people things that are broken is not helpful. And also if I say no once then don't keep badgering me to take something just because it's taking up space in your house.....

Scortho

I'd donate them to charities op.
Some people genuinely appreciate getting free baby stuff, as it's an expensive time and keeps costs down.
These people were only trying to help. I know my parents gave away the old cot and a swing after 15 years...because they new they were finished :pac:
It was a friend if my mams who took them for her daughter, who genuinely appreciated it, because while the cot was old, it was one less thing they had to buy.

nikpmup

Donate my direction all you like! Babies are frikkin expensive - I am the very pleased recipient of a load of pre-loved stuff, most notably my sisters travel system which probably saved us nearly a grand.
Baby clothes in particular are something that can be donated, babies grow out of them so fast that they barely get worn. While I would probably not donate cheapo vests and babygros, my son has some beautiful clothes that I'll be carefully putting away for the next person that has a boy.

fima

I have been really lucky to receive some lovely pre-owned stuff such as a cot which I sanded and painted, a baby bath and swing all in reasonable condition. I also received some maternity clothes and baby books which was brilliant as I would never have been able to afford such luxuries! I have also been landed with a huge bag of girls clothes, all wrecked. I don't know the sex of my baby so I tried to decline however the giver was not taking no for an answer. They also donated a blow up babies bed for co sleeping minus the cover. I said I didn't want it and it was still stuffed in the bottom of the bag! All are being returned this weekend on the grounds that I don't have the space and maybe it would be better to donate to charity. I appreciate a helping hand and know that the majority of people are just being kind but some people do see it as an excuse to have a clear out!

The Muppet

Dave0301 wrote: »

I think the real issue here is your other half not having the balls to say no thanks in a polite way.

Either that or he hasn't got the balls to tell his wife that having being gifted a perfectly usable cot which will do the job perfectly well, there's no need to go to the expense of purchasing a new one just because its a differnt style shape or colour.

I'd imagine he was hoping she would have come to this conclusion herself when the gifted cot arrived home. It's a male thing.

ncmc

I think most people are trying to be kind. I wouldn't assume it's an excuse to dump because it's not exactly hard to drop stuff to a charity shop and I know my local charity shop are crying out for baby stuff. If you really didn't want the cot, then your OH should have said that someone had already given you one. Would have avoided hurting his colleagues feelings and saved you a trip to the charity shop. But I'm sure his intentions were good.

I was delighted to hear that my sisters between them pretty much have everything we need. Every penny saved is a bonus. I'll be able to get cot (has slept 3 children - I want aware they were like a car and only had certain mileage in them!) travel system, steriliser, monitor, bouncy seat, high chair and loads of clothes. It's like Santa has come early!

Millem

ncmc wrote: »

I think most people are trying to be kind. I wouldn't assume it's an excuse to dump because it's not exactly hard to drop stuff to a charity shop and I know my local charity shop are crying out for baby stuff. If you really didn't want the cot, then your OH should have said that someone had already given you one. Would have avoided hurting his colleagues feelings and saved you a trip to the charity shop. But I'm sure his intentions were good.

I was delighted to hear that my sisters between them pretty much have everything we need. Every penny saved is a bonus. I'll be able to get cot (has slept 3 children - I want aware they were like a car and only had certain mileage in them!) travel system, steriliser, monitor, bouncy seat, high chair and loads of clothes. It's like Santa has come early!

I totally agree that people are just trying to be kind. I have found though that people are wildly different options on "acceptable condition". A family member was so excited giving me vests and babygrows and a lot of poo stains on them!!!! Lol when another family member pointed it out to them they said "ah sure it's only a little bit!!". Honestly they really did have the best of intentions

Roesy

We got nearly all of our big stuff from friends and family. The only real big item we had to buy was the travel system. We didn't get much clothes donated but we did get quite a bit of bedding. One or two of the blankets were a little grubby looking. We did get tonnes of blankets as gifts and are planning on using grobags though. We were delighted with all the stuff we got. One of the two bouncers is a little worn looking but it will be handy to put in my parents house, as will the second Moses basket. My mother will be minding our baby two days a week.
Like a lot of first time parents we loved the idea of new everything at the start and were looking at the most gorgeous(ridiculously priced!) mahogany, sleigh bed style cot but the more we thought about it the happier we were with the things we got from other people. We were lucky enough to be donated a cot, changing table, angel care movement monitor, 2 Moses baskets, 2 bouncers, a swing and we have the promise of a high chair. Most of the stuff is in great condition. I think people are just happy to see stuff they've spent lots of their hard earned money on get good use.

Chattastrophe!

In fairness that would annoy me, if I said I didn't want/need something and it was landed in my house anyways. E.g. I had my heart set on getting the travel system new, if nothing else, so I'd have been quite annoyed if I was stuck with having dispose of someone else's old one, on top of everything else I've to do. And then you've the awkwardness if you ever meet them and they ask how you're getting on with it ... "Actually, I gave it straight to charity and went out and bought a new one" ... lots of potential for offending people!

Apart from that, I'd be happy to take most other things second hand. We have been promised a cot - it's a few years old, but only used for one child, and we've been told it's great quality and perfect condition ... fingers crossed! I've been offered a steriliser and a Moses basket and a few other things too off different people but they haven't materialised yet - not sure if I should hold out for them or go ahead and buy my own - I'm not really comfortable with reminding the people who offered ...

As for baby clothes, I can't believe people would actually try to pass on stained things!! That's awful, I wouldn't even give stained clothes to the charity shop! Would be perfectly happy to accept (or pass on) clothes in good condition ... only if they were near-new, though. No one wants to put scruffy stained clothes on a tiny new baby!

ted1

The rule with cots are that they are perfectly fine to reuse for different kids, but a new mattress should be used for each cot.

looksee

Roesy wrote: »

We got nearly all of our big stuff from friends and family. The only real big item we had to buy was the travel system. We didn't get much clothes donated but we did get quite a bit of bedding. One or two of the blankets were a little grubby looking. We did get tonnes of blankets as gifts and are planning on using grobags though. We were delighted with all the stuff we got. One of the two bouncers is a little worn looking but it will be handy to put in my parents house, as will the second Moses basket. My mother will be minding our baby two days a week.

I think this sums up the discussion quite well! Mum is looking after the baby and the 'worn' baby bouncer is good enough to clutter up her house! It is not about whether it is good enough for the baby, its about lifestyle.

Babies use most of the equipment for a very short time and then it is just more stuff to store. If you can afford to buy all new for your baby then fine, but babies don't care, as long as it is clean and safe it will be fine, and other people will be looking at the baby, not the cot!

Chattastrophe!

looksee wrote: »

I think this sums up the discussion quite well! Mum is looking after the baby and the 'worn' baby bouncer is good enough to clutter up her house! It is not about whether it is good enough for the baby, its about lifestyle.

Well, that's a bit unfair ... She's making use of both bouncers that were given to her; surely it only makes sense to keep the less worn one for where it'll be used most - i.e. in her own house!

Roesy

looksee wrote: »

I think this sums up the discussion quite well! Mum is looking after the baby and the 'worn' baby bouncer is good enough to clutter up her house! It is not about whether it is good enough for the baby, its about lifestyle.

Babies use most of the equipment for a very short time and then it is just more stuff to store. If you can afford to buy all new for your baby then fine, but babies don't care, as long as it is clean and safe it will be fine, and other people will be looking at the baby, not the cot!

It was my mother who suggested she take it, it was coming from my brother. As for it being a little worn, the logic there was surely it would make more sense for the less used one be used more i.e when the baby is our house. If something was too worn I wouldn't take it. I appreciate people passing on their belongings but we have enough stuff of our own without being a dumping ground. Most of the stuff we got bar one or two blankets were in very good condition. I did politely decline a couple of things including a car seat which looked like it had seen better days but generally was overwhelmed by people's generosity.

Gee_G

Over all we were delighted to get stuff from our friends and family. The only thing I wanted to buy new was the travel system, more so the car seat. Delighted to get things like moses baskets and baby baths that you only use for a couple of months!
But, there was one offer of a car seat that this person "came across" IN THEIR SHED!!!

pwurple

The Muppet wrote: »

Either that or he hasn't got the balls to tell his wife that having being gifted a perfectly usable cot which will do the job perfectly well, there's no need to go to the expense of purchasing a new one just because its a differnt style shape or colour.

I'd imagine he was hoping she would have come to this conclusion herself when the gifted cot arrived home. It's a male thing.

I was with you until you said it was a "male thing". Sheesh. Plenty of women are more than grateful to receive things that have been used befoer rather than buying duplicates which will end up in landfill. I'm one of them. Our cot, most of the toys and every stitch of clothes for the first two years were second-hand. Good quality clothes and furniture will last through several families. I hate to see waste.

The cot above has some marks on it.... Good grief, repaint it!

Millem

The only thing (apart from a handful of baby clothes) I got handed down was a Moses basket which is a bit of a family heirloom at this stage! I bought a new mattress and made a new cover for it. It is much bigger and sturdier than the ones on sale nowadays and made of wicker. I cleaned it with Milton and it is perfect! I am very grateful for it as I hear some baby's only last a couple of weeks in them! I didn't take up any offers of cots as I got my cot bed for €90 on sale and my mum said I would have to buy a present for €50 to say thanks anyway! I have been very lucky as have been off work sick for majority of pregnancy so haven't paid full price for any if my baby things as have always got everything on sale and delivered to my door I bought my travel system in tony kealys and my OH nearly had a heart attack with the price of cot beds and mattress etc!!

Chattastrophe!

Millem wrote: »

I didn't take up any offers of cots as I got my cot bed for €90 on sale and my mum said I would have to buy a present for €50 to say thanks anyway!

Really, is this the norm, to buy thank you gifts? I would've thought a thank-you card would be fine. (This is my first time being pregnant though, so I've no idea!)

Millem

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

Really, is this the norm, to buy thank you gifts? I would've thought a thank-you card would be fine. (This is my first time being pregnant though, so I've no idea!)

I don't know it was my neighbour not family who offered it. My mum was the one who said it that I would have to buy her present! I think with close family you have to buy presents??? Well my mum never suggested me buying anything for my sister?? I don't have a clue to be honest.

nikpmup

I would say a nice thank you card would suffice - it's a bit mad to say thank you for a present with a present! I got really nice cards printed out in Boots on the photo print booths, they've a photo of Hugo and text to say thank you for your generous gift, yadda yadda, love nikpmup, mr nikpmup and Hugo. They cost about 20 cent each to print, and are really nice.

Roesy

Between gifts and loans of baby necessities we'd be absolutely broke if we had to buy a present for the people who gave us stuff. We're just planning on doing the thank you cards with Olivia's picture on them.

Hello Lady!

I'm actually really quite jealous because honestly we have been given/offered nothing. Not one thing. A friend of my husband has twins and he has offered to sell us stuff, but he's a bit of a cheeky fecker and the price he wants for things isn't far off new prices and the stuff is 4 years old. I am happy to buy second hand but not on a 4 year old thing that looks a bit worn to save maybe only €20 or €50 (eg he offered his old travel system, 4 years old, not the colour I would prefer, looks a bit worn but reasonable for its age...Only €150 less than a brand new one! We got the new one and a load of mothercare points and then used the points to buy almost €100 of stuff. He still hasn't sold the travel system and keeps asking my husband why he wouldn't buy it despite hubby telling him straight it was too expensive!).

One thing that has been lovely though is several of the women my husband works with have all offered time and help. Most of them are foreign and had their babies outside Ireland so nothing to gift otherwise I would say they would be inundating us with stuff. But instead we have had offers already to babysit, make meals for us and the babies and just visit to help. I don't even know these women but they are so keen to show support that I am very touched by their offer and their excitement for us.

nikpmup

That's a lovely offer Hello Lady, and honestly, will be the most useful gift of all, esp with two babies.

Xdancer

I would have been very grateful if someone had offered us some stuff, but no one did as none of my friends here have children or have older children and had already given their stuff away.
Baby stuff here is so expensive and we were on a tight budget. Thankfully the internet enabled me to get some stuff cheaper.

Tabnabs

We took everything that was given to us. But to be fair it is annoying when people push things on to you. By all means offer, but don't insist the person take it. Some people like to buy things new for their child, what is wrong with that? I think it's rude and inconsiderate to use some one as a dumping ground for all your used stuff.