The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

AstraMonti

Delirium

Brian Shanahan

SW wrote: »

He was also convicted of illegal banking and skipped a court date on more charges of illegal banking. As there was no federal reserve to issue currency before the civil war, banks issued their own dollars privately, and there was great confusion over this, giving scope for people to issue their own fake dollars, so in all probability what Smith was convicted over in the illegal banking charges was passing off bum dollar notes.

Worztron

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Sulla Felix

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robindch

^^^ Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers?

robindch

Anyhow, "We’d be total ****s if it wasn’t for Jesus", admit Christians.

http://newsthump.com/2011/04/05/wed-be-total-****s-if-it-wasnt-for-jesus-admit-christians/

News Thump wrote:

Christian organisations have called AC Grayling’s ‘Atheist Bible’ complete nonsense by insisting that if it wasn’t for Jesus they would all be complete and utter ****bags. The Good Book is Grayling’s attempt to show that inherent kindness is a feature of evolution and bound tightly into our genetic make-up, not the result of an invisible deity threatening people with an eternity in a fiery Hell – a claim refuted by Christians everywhere.

Regular church attendee Troy Williams told us, “I can’t speak for all Christians, but if it weren’t for Jesus Christ our saviour I’d be out there raping and pillaging right now. How do you explain that mister science man?” “You can’t, can you? Jesus has turned me from a potentially violent criminal into an insufferably tedious bore. Hallelujah!” “This book and all it’s stories about how people are nice to each other just ‘because’ is load of old twaddle. God told me that in a dream I had last night.”

Other Christians have insisted that if people are inherently nice, why is everyone so incredibly mean to them when they knock on their front doors trying to spread the word of God. Christian Margaret Shilling of East Kilbride told us, “It doesn’t make sense, if people were inherently ‘good’ we’d always be invited in for a cup of tea and a biscuit whilst we lectured you on how letting Jesus into your life can rob you of half your weekend every single week.”

“Instead we get sworn at, shouted at through letter boxes and one man threw a bucket of piss at us from his bedroom window. How is that good?”

AC Grayling defended this behaviour saying, “I’ll bet anyone who’s ever had a religious cold-caller had a smile on their face reading that – so there’s your kindness to your fellow man, right there.”

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legspin

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robindch

The dangers of trolling taken seriously - Polish Priest Receives Angry Text Messages From The Devil

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/07/29/polish-priest-receives-angry-text-messages-from-the-devil_n_5630225.html

HuffPo wrote:

A priest in Poland has been receiving angry text messages from the Devil. Father Marian Rajchel from Jaroslaw claims to have received several digital missives from The Prince of Darkness after performing a failed exorcism on a teenage girl.

The Austrian Times reported that the girl’s soul remains possessed by a demon, which in now firing off indignant texts to the elderly priest. According to the Mail, Rajchel said, "The author of these texts is an evil spirit who has possessed her soul," adding: "Often the owners of mobile phones are not even aware that they are been used like this, however in this case it is clear."

Rajchel referred local news reporters to one of Satan’s texts that read: "She will not come out of this hell. She’s mine. Anyone who prays for her will die." After replying, Beelzebub responded by saying, "Shut up, preacher. You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher."

"Clearly this young girl has been possessed, and needs further help" said the priest. It is not known whether The Beast also uses WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger or Twitter.

Cabaal

robindch wrote: »

The dangers of trolling taken seriously - Polish Priest Receives Angry Text Messages From The Devil

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/07/29/polish-priest-receives-angry-text-messages-from-the-devil_n_5630225.html

The Devil needs to get with the times, God is already on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodLordAbove?ref=ts&fref=ts

robindch

Hard to know where this one should go. Anyhow, Turkey's deputy PM announced the other day that Turkish women, in order to preserve chastity, shouldn't laugh. The female Turkish twitterverse exploded.

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-28548179

For anybody interested in having a look at turkish women laughing - and having seen a few pix for research purposes, I can recommend nothing better - look here and here

Worztron

As with some posts on this thread, this is funny as in 'odd' rather than funny as in 'ha-ha'.

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Delirium

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krudler

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Doctor DooM

robindch