The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

PopePalpatine

The Randy Riverbeast

robindch wrote: »

For anybody in the Tralee area tomorrow between ten and six, you might want to consider dropping into the Mercy Convent at Balloonagh whose contents, together with the contents of similar convents at Rosscarbery and Kanturk, are on view in 530 lots, pursuant to an auction starting on Saturday morning at 10:30.

The convent at Balloonagh was opened in 1858 and while an article in July confirmed at the time that there were no plans to do anything with the convent, it seems that the departure of the last sixteen nuns around six weeks ago seems to have concentrated minds quite noticeably on the topic of religious asset-stripping.

In any case, amongst the hundreds of items of religious statuary and mid-to-low income communal living, comes Lot 087, labelled "A good large religious group, 'St John the Baptist baptising Our Lord'" - five feet high and three wide, and possibly the most splendidly homoerotic sculpture ever to grace the halls of a Mercy Convent:

Jesus cursed Judas for nominating him for the Ice bucket challenge.

robindch

Ok, a few months late, but here's a story about a town which suffered a spate of religiously-related burglaries. So a local group contacted the church who rented a helicopter for a while and sent one of its own lads up with cross and some holy water:

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/help-from-above-priest-in-a-helicopter-exorcises-italian-town-57456/

The article doesn't say whether the demonic infestation went away.

recedite

Spanish demonologist and exorcist Father José Antonio Fortea

I'd love to have that on my CV.
Demonologist Extraordinaire. Could probably get the qualification somewhere on the internet.

Worztron

seamus

recedite wrote: »

I'd love to have that on my CV.
Demonologist Extraordinaire. Could probably get the qualification somewhere on the internet.

It's cute that you think a qualification in demonology requires more than a printer and some ink

looksee

I wonder why he thought he needed a helicopter? I realise that walking the streets would not be nearly as interesting but would have worked just as well. I can confirm that for sure.

L.Jenkins

Nodin

looksee wrote: »

I wonder why he thought he needed a helicopter? I realise that walking the streets would not be nearly as interesting but would have worked just as well. I can confirm that for sure.

...how many chances in life do you get to fly in with the sun behind you, blaring out "ride of the valkyrie " and firing your holy water at anything that moves?

Hotblack Desiato

SATAN DON'T SURF

AstraMonti

Only here can this be posted. http://deadstate.org/christian-pastor-slams-paris-victims-if-you-attend-a-death-metal-concert-you-deserve-to-get-killed/

If you decide to take this seriously you might want to blow your own brains.

legspin

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

SATAN DON'T SURF

A very rare b-side to Papa don't Preach perhaps?

looksee

AstraMonti wrote: »

Only here can this be posted. http://deadstate.org/christian-pastor-slams-paris-victims-if-you-attend-a-death-metal-concert-you-deserve-to-get-killed/

If you decide to take this seriously you might want to blow your own brains.

I'd say that is more a hazard of belief than funny

Lithium93_

AstraMonti wrote: »

Only here can this be posted. http://deadstate.org/christian-pastor-slams-paris-victims-if-you-attend-a-death-metal-concert-you-deserve-to-get-killed/

If you decide to take this seriously you might want to blow your own brains.

That is the stupidest thing i have ever read, can't facepalm enough, as i've told people today, Eagles Of Death Metal are a ROCK band, not a death metal band, seriously people make assumptions based on a band name, of all things..

Sorry if ranty, but had to correct people multiple times about EODM.

Worztron

robindch

^^^ Great image!

PopePalpatine

Speaking of Last Supper...

robindch

http://www.breakingburgh.com/schism-erupts-in-pastafarianism-over-the-acceptability-of-plastic-colanders/

Breaking Burgh wrote:

The little-known religion of Pastafarianism became a little less little known this week when a Massachusetts woman won the right to have her drivers license photo taken whilst wearing a colander atop her head – an important tenet of the faith.

The extra attention has brought a simmering dispute within the Church to the fore, namely what types of colander constitute acceptable religious attire. Progressives argue that any recognizable colander is acceptable, be it made of metal, plastic, or even collapsible silicone. The orthodox wing has a simple response to any pasta straining device that isn’t a dual-handled wide-holed metal colander.

“Anathema!”

While there have been no physical clashes yet, some reddit threads reportedly ‘got quite nasty’, with older traditionalist Pastafarians proving to be especially vitriolic – though they were often taunted by liberal church members who would post selfies wearing their non-metallic brightly colored pasta strainers.

“Death to the plastic-colander-wearing heathens! They will not get to enjoy the afterlife.”

Though the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster – as it is officially known – doesn’t take a doctrinal position on what the afterlife is like or even if there is one, orthodox church members maintain that the breakaway liberal wing will never see it.
“Maybe Pastafarian heaven is like real life except you can eat all the linguini you want and never get fat. But those blasphemers aren’t getting in. That much I know.”

While many moderate Pastafarians despaired for the split in their congregation, some can find a bright side even as factions emerge that view each other with an uncompromising hatred.

“Our maturation into a real religion is complete.”

Worztron

Worztron

:eek:

Peregrinus

Worztron wrote: »

:eek:

Peregrine

Peregrinus wrote: »

My twin with the 'us'. We meet again.

Timberrrrrrrr

recedite

Peregrine wrote: »

My twin with the 'us'. We meet again.

He's not as bold as you though.

Worztron

Hotblack Desiato

Worztron wrote: »

You'd probably be annoyed too, if your willy was that tiny :pac:

Worztron

silverharp

Worztron

silverharp