What DO you think

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 01:52PM

cloudatlas wrote: »

Choice matters. I assume your partner can walk away at any point whereas it would be more difficult for a women where money has changed hands to walk away from an agreement. Your friend is not there because she feels economically coerced she is there because she wants to have fun. Also 'satisfaction guaranteed' is something you may not purport . Choices made under pressure are not necessarily all that voluntary. In your case it is voluntary. In my opinion there are some goods and services that should be highly priced or shouldn't exist on the free market.

So a prostitute is not working voluntarily.

Is this based on some data? Or do you assume you know better than the 'little woman'?

Why is the assumption that prostitutes are victims?

You can discuss lots of issues that may exist within prostitution, but prostitution is not what you are talking about in that instance.

A woman can't walk away inf money has changed hands?

Why? Because she'd probably get stabbed by the john? A lot of assumptions being made about prostitution. Myths and fables tend to emerge where industries and practices are forced underground, as is the case with drug use.

Also - "In my opinion there are some goods and services that should be highly priced or shouldn't exist on the free market."

I think you should read that last piece again!! You'll see it if you read it a few times.

meeeeh · 09-08-2013 02:01PM

While I'm not against prostitution, the point is, there are some who don't want to be there. So there is a chance somebody who sleeps with a prostitute could sleep with someone who is forced into it. If somebody would give you hundred drinks, asked you to serve them to 20 people and told you one of them is poison, would you do it?

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 02:04PM

meeeeh wrote: »

While I'm not against prostitution, the point is, there are some who don't want to be there. So there is a chance somebody who sleeps with a prostitute could sleep with someone who is forced into it. If somebody would give you hundred drinks, asked you to serve them to 20 people and told you one of them is poison, would you do it?

I think your point is perfectly valid.

But the market won't sustain a vacuum like this.

I also don't think its reasonable to rely on the self-prohibition of the consumer to counter fears of exploitation.

Didn't work in Primark

cloudatlas · 09-08-2013 02:08PM

MaxWig wrote: »

So a prostitute is not working voluntarily.

Is this based on some data? Or do you assume you know better than the 'little woman'?

Why is the assumption that prostitutes are victims?

You can discuss lots of issues that may exist within prostitution, but prostitution is not what you are talking about in that instance.

A woman can't walk away inf money has changed hands?

Why? Because she'd probably get stabbed by the john? A lot of assumptions being made about prostitution. Myths and fables tend to emerge where industries and practices are forced underground, as is the case with drug use.

Also - "In my opinion there are some goods and services that should be highly priced or shouldn't exist on the free market."

I think you should read that last piece again!! You'll see it if you read it a few times.

Yes I know it's not the 'free market', just making a statement about my general belief system about the exchange of 'goods' and 'services' terms that males on this thread are using. If you are paid you would find it more difficult to walk away. The consent is tainted because money is involved. It is less 'voluntary' than a **** buddy situation. If you are under financial pressure to do a certain job then your choice is not wholly voluntary. If they were financially secure they wouldn't be doing it. The voluntary nature of your situation is totally different.

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 02:09PM

cloudatlas wrote: »

Yes I know it's not the 'free market', just making a statement about my general belief system about the exchange of 'goods' and 'services' terms that males on this thread are using. If you are paid you would find it more difficult to walk away. The consent is tainted because money is involved. It is less 'voluntary' than a **** buddy situation. If you are under financial pressure to do a certain job then your choice is not wholly voluntary. If they were financially secure they wouldn't be doing it. The voluntary nature of your situation is totally different.

Funny, I never hear that sympathy being offered to street heroin dealers

meeeeh · 09-08-2013 02:17PM

MaxWig wrote: »

I think your point is perfectly valid.

But the market won't sustain a vacuum like this.

I also don't think its reasonable to rely on the self-prohibition of the consumer to counter fears of exploitation.

Didn't work in Primark

I know, But pointing out that some, I would say most, prostitutes want to be there is in a way irrelevant. I would really prefer properly regulated business but at the moment it's sort of like drink driving argument. It's likely you won't crash into anybody but there is a significant chance that you will. I just think the whole thing shouldn't be sugar coated into being a social service for lonley people.

cloudatlas · 09-08-2013 02:26PM

MaxWig wrote: »

Funny, I never hear that sympathy being offered to street heroin dealers

Why not apply the same argument. In Breaking Bad the voluntary nature of what Walter White is doing changes once he starts raking in large amounts of money... because his motivation is removed.

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 02:40PM

cloudatlas wrote: »

Why not apply the same argument. In Breaking Bad the voluntary nature of what Walter White is doing changes once he starts raking in large amounts of money... because his motivation is removed.

I would apply the same logic.

But I wouldn't find fault in the activity itself, simply in its prohibited status.

There is simply nothing to be gained by prohibition, either legally or morally.

Most of the arguments I hear regarding prostitution are based on personal moral discomfort around sex. That they are couched in language that suggests a 'concern' for those involved is simply a diversion or denial imo

April O Neill · 09-08-2013 02:51PM

MaxWig wrote: »

A lot of the comments have alluded to this - that sex with a prostitute is not magical, and could never blossom into a 'relationship'. Or perhaps more accurately, that it is not 'relationship' based.

But how many one-night stands are exactly the same.

Lots. Lots and lots. But you don't tend to pay money for them.

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 02:58PM

April O Neill wrote: »

Lots. Lots and lots. But you don't tend to pay money for them.

Yeah, I have to be honest, the money part confuses me, in the sense that it is being put forward as an argument that using the services of a prostitute is exploitative.

At what point is it not?

If I'm a business man, and I pay €5,000 for an evening with a woman which includes sex, does the exploitation argument still stand up?

€500?

€100?

I fail to see the significance of the money as a moral argument

jaffacakesyum · 09-08-2013 03:11PM

MaxWig wrote: »

Yeah, I have to be honest, the money part confuses me, in the sense that it is being put forward as an argument that using the services of a prostitute is exploitative.

At what point is it not?

If I'm a business man, and I pay €5,000 for an evening with a woman which includes sex, does the exploitation argument still stand up?

€500?

€100?

I fail to see the significance of the money as a moral argument

Not quite sure how you don't get how the money part changes the whole thing after how many pages of discussion on it. I'm fine with you being 100% pro prostitution, using prostitutes yourself, whatever. But I find it odd that you still don't get why women wouldn't find a man who pays for sex attractive. It's completely different to a one night stand. You acknowledged in your previous post saying something like "I know I know, people will say it's different to a one night stand because money is involved" and that's it. You've answered your own question. With a one night stand the two people have come to a mutual agreement that they want to have sex with each other, be that because they had great chemistry and want to have sex and maybe they will see each other again. Or be it that they literally both just want to get off together and never see each other again. Who cares which one it is? Point is they both want to have sex. With prostitution in general the woman would have no interest in being there if money wasn't being exchanged. The man has to pay for sex - HOW on earth would that not be a turn off for a potential partner is what I'd be asking??!

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 03:14PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Not quite sure how you don't get how the money part changes the whole thing after how many pages of discussion on it. I'm fine with you being 100% pro prostitution, using prostitutes yourself, whatever. But I find it odd that you still don't get why women wouldn't find a man who pays for sex attractive. It's completely different to a one night stand. You acknowledged in your previous post saying something like "I know I know, people will say it's different to a one night stand because money is involved" and that's it. You've answered your own question. With a one night stand the two people have come to a mutual agreement that they want to have sex with each other, be that because they had great chemistry and want to have sex and maybe they will see each other again. Or be it that they literally both just want to get off together and never see each other again. Who cares which one it is? Point is they both want to have sex. With prostitution in general the woman would have no interest in being there if money wasn't being exchanged. The man has to pay for sex - HOW on earth would that not be a turn off for a potential partner is what I'd be asking??!

"With a one night stand the two people have come to a mutual agreement that they want to have sex with each other, be that because they had great chemistry and want to have sex and maybe they will see each other again. Or be it that they literally both just want to get off together and never see each other again, or be that that one is horny as fcuk and the other wants some cash?

No?

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 03:19PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

The man has to pay for sex - HOW on earth would that not be a turn off for a potential partner is what I'd be asking??!

The man has to?

There are so many assumptions in this debate, its kinda silly.

The man may be a regular Don Juan, but he likes to dress as Little Bo Peep every now and then, and his regualr f***-buddies just ain't into it.

He may enjoy the detached nature of sex with a prostitute.

There could be myriad reasons.

April O Neill · 09-08-2013 03:22PM

MaxWig wrote: »

Yeah, I have to be honest, the money part confuses me, in the sense that it is being put forward as an argument that using the services of a prostitute is exploitative.

At what point is it not?

If I'm a business man, and I pay €5,000 for an evening with a woman which includes sex, does the exploitation argument still stand up?

€500?

€100?

I fail to see the significance of the money as a moral argument

No moral argument.

I'd just be wondering why I was paying for something I could get for free. OK, if you pay a higher price, you'll likely get a really attractive woman, but even then, you can't be sure there will be attraction. And even if there is, it'll likely be one-way.

Just for me, sex doesn't have to be about being in love, but mutual attraction most definitely needs to be in the mix. It's a pretty big thing, IMO.

That's just me though, I realise that for men especially, sex is also for shear tension release.

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 03:31PM

April O Neill wrote: »

No moral argument.

I'd just be wondering why I was paying for something I could get for free. OK, if you pay a higher price, you'll likely get a really attractive woman, but even then, you can't be sure there will be attraction. And even if there is, it'll likely be one-way.

Just for me, sex doesn't have to be about being in love, but mutual attraction most definitely needs to be in the mix. It's a pretty big thing, IMO.

That's just me though, I realise that for men especially, sex is also for shear tension release.

Tend to agree with you, although I think 'tension release' is an understatement.

Don't want to get all Freudian, but I think the power of sexual drive is underestimated to this day.

And I doubt its any different for men or women.

"I'd just be wondering why I was paying for something I could get for free."

I doubt that happens.
Market forces being what they are

I think sex is criminalised in so many respects.
That is, what is 'normal', what is 'desirable', what is 'acceptable' etc.

Human sexuality could never fit into the rigid constraints it is expected to inhabit.

And there will always be a market for services that provide expression to that sexuality

jaffacakesyum · 09-08-2013 05:27PM

MaxWig wrote: »

"With a one night stand the two people have come to a mutual agreement that they want to have sex with each other, be that because they had great chemistry and want to have sex and maybe they will see each other again. Or be it that they literally both just want to get off together and never see each other again, or be that that one is horny as fcuk and the other wants some cash?

No?

Yes. That's what prostitution is, a mutual agreement whereby the man wants sex and the woman wants money. What's your point?

The woman still is in the position only for the money, not for mutual enjoyment.

It's exchanging money for a service. Why would any woman find that attractive in a potential partner?

MaxWig wrote: »

The man has to?

There are so many assumptions in this debate, its kinda silly.

The man may be a regular Don Juan, but he likes to dress as Little Bo Peep every now and then, and his regualr f***-buddies just ain't into it.

He may enjoy the detached nature of sex with a prostitute.

There could be myriad reasons.

None of which I personally find attractive in a man.

Pug160 · 09-08-2013 05:43PM

I honestly think that in some cases it's much less hurtful to girls (and therefore perhaps morally superior) to pay an escort rather than go down the path of having no strings sex. This doesn't mean I advocate paying for it - far from it. But I have lost count of the times when a friend has told me he has had a one night stand and the girl has texted him back saying he was a ''typical'' lad who only uses girls. This, despite the fact it was only a one night stand and no deception was apparently involved. So I don't agree with this notion that one night stands are always a good option for casual sex. Sometimes people get hurt - both men and women. Casual relationships can be the same, as quite often feelings develop on one side but not the other.

It's possible that some guys are using escorts for 'good reasons', even if paying for sex is looked upon negatively by a lot of people. Getting sex is relatively easy - especially if you're not particularly fussy and are willing to lead girls on etc but decent guys who just want NSS at a particular time in their lives are often put off by the obstacles that are often there. Not wanting to deceive or hurt girls are admirable qualities. How often do some guys tell girls what they want to hear? It's been going on ever since humans started walking the earth probably. I personally wouldn't advise anybody to use escorts but I can see how some decent people might go down that path. Especially guys who are quite wealthy. I hope what I've written is food for thought for some people at least?

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 06:32PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Yes. That's what prostitution is, a mutual agreement whereby the man wants sex and the woman wants money. What's your point? The woman still is in the position only for the money, not for mutual enjoyment.

It's exchanging money for a service. Why would any woman find that attractive in a potential partner?

None of which I personally find attractive in a man.

So engaging in something purely to reach a climax, without a thought for the nameless partner is somehow more noble than providing a climx for cash?

I'm sorry, I don't see the obvious line of reason you seem to be following. What's my point? That there is no objective difference!

Making money is enjoyable. One might say it is the primary source of enjoyment for our times. Its the ultimate fetish.

clairefontaine · 09-08-2013 06:39PM

MaxWig wrote: »

So engaging in something purely to reach a climax, without a thought for the nameless partner is somehow more noble than providing a climx for cash?

I'm sorry, I don't see the obvious line of reason you seem to be following. What's my point? That there is no objective difference!

Making money is enjoyable. One might say it is the primary source of enjoyment for our times. Its the ultimate fetish.

You know how you wake up some days and you don't want to go to work but you have to? I'm sure working girls have days like that.

If you paid someone to go to the movies with you or a family wedding wouldn't it feel different than if they actually wanted to go and go because its with you, because they like your company?

Fizzlesque · 09-08-2013 06:48PM

How do the men in this thread feel about dating an ex prostitute? Would it bother you if you met a woman, asked her out, and during the date she told you she worked as a prostitute on and off, when she was short of cash and may do so again, if she was in need. Genuinely curious if it would be something you'd be unphased by. Would you ask her not to do so while dating you? Would you decide not to date her - even if she agreed not to while she was dating you? What would your thoughts and feelings on the subject be?

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 06:50PM

clairefontaine wrote: »

You know how you wake up some days and you don't want to go to work but you have to? I'm sure working girls have days like that.

If you paid someone to go to the movies with you or a family wedding wouldn't it feel different than if they actually wanted to go and go because its with you, because they like your company?

It would be absolutely different.

Fundamentally different.

But the act itself would be no more worthy in either instance.

Of course sex with a prostitute is 'different' than with someone with whom you are engaging out of pure mutual lust.

But as far as I can make out of the arguments against using the services of a prostitute, the main contention is that the act of paying objectifies the prostitute. I simply don't believe that the presence of a payment is required for that.

The sex surrogate recently portrayed in 'The Sessions' (I think that was the name of the movie), was painted as a compassionate angel. A paid angel nonetheless. The act of payment in these instances seems no less crass to me. But that's just me.

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 06:58PM

Fizzlesque wrote: »

How do the men in this thread feel about dating an ex prostitute? Would it bother you if you met a woman, asked her out, and during the date she told you she worked as a prostitute on and off, when she was short of cash and may do so again, if she was in need. Genuinely curious if it would be something you'd be unphased by. Would you ask her not to do so while dating you? Would you decide not to date her - even if she agreed not to while she was dating you? What would your thoughts and feelings on the subject be?

I'm honestly not sure how I'd feel.

I had a close friend who was a prostitute, and I did worry for her. The worry was for her safety, but I'd be lying if I said I did not pass judgement. She was much older than me, and there was no attraction. She was a bright, generous and intelligent woman, and saw no wrong in what she did.

I would like to say that if I met an ex-prostitute, and in the course of our relationship she divulged that fact, that it would not change my opinion of her. Truthfully, I don't believe it would.

If it did however, I would be hypocritical.

I have done despicable, petty things in my time. Things that were not for money, but were motivated out of jealousy, greed and anger. I don't see that prostitution could ever be judged so harshly as any of those things.

When I imagine my gf with ex-partners, it is hard. Such is life. We block out a lot of the facts, especially when it comes to sex.

Legs.Eleven · 09-08-2013 07:05PM

MaxWig wrote: »

I'm honestly not sure how I'd feel.

I had a close friend who was a prostitute, and I did worry for her. The worry was for her safety, but I'd be lying if I said I did not pass judgement. She was much older than me, and there was no attraction. She was a bright, generous and intelligent woman, and saw no wrong in what she did.

I would like to say that if I met an ex-prostitute, and in the course of our relationship she divulged that fact, that it would not change my opinion of her. Truthfully, I don't believe it would.

If it did however, I would be hypocritical.

I have done despicable, petty things in my time. Things that were not for money, but were motivated out of jealousy, greed and anger. I don't see that prostitution could ever be judged so harshly as any of those things.

When I imagine my gf with ex-partners, it is hard. Such is life. We block out a lot of the facts, especially when it comes to sex.

What about if you just met her, you liked her otherwise from what you knew of her and she divulged that fact?

jaffacakesyum · 09-08-2013 07:16PM

Pug160 wrote: »

I honestly think that in some cases it's much less hurtful to girls (and therefore perhaps morally superior) to pay an escort rather than go down the path of having no strings sex. This doesn't mean I advocate paying for it - far from it. But I have lost count of the times when a friend has told me he has had a one night stand and the girl has texted him back saying he was a ''typical'' lad who only uses girls. This, despite the fact it was only a one night stand and no deception was apparently involved. So I don't agree with this notion that one night stands are always a good option for casual sex. Sometimes people get hurt - both men and women. Casual relationships can be the same, as quite often feelings develop on one side but not the other.

It's possible that some guys are using escorts for 'good reasons', even if paying for sex is looked upon negatively by a lot of people. Getting sex is relatively easy - especially if you're not particularly fussy and are willing to lead girls on etc but decent guys who just want NSS at a particular time in their lives are often put off by the obstacles that are often there. Not wanting to deceive or hurt girls are admirable qualities. How often do some guys tell girls what they want to hear? It's been going on ever since humans started walking the earth probably. I personally wouldn't advise anybody to use escorts but I can see how some decent people might go down that path. Especially guys who are quite wealthy. I hope what I've written is food for thought for some people at least?

How many men are visiting prostitutes because they don't want to hurt another girls feelings?! Come on, let's be honest here, neither of us have evidence to support it either way and I 100% agree there are different reasons for paying for sex, but I doubt the one you've outlined is one. At least not a significant reason. Most men that use prostitutes would be men who don't attract women themselves, who are older, married and unhappy with their sex lives, men with disabilities etc.

The average 20/30 something year old who has no problem pulling in the pub but doesn't like the annoying text afterwards that he's just a player are not going to fork out a few hundred quid to have no questions asked sex. Unless it's for fetish reasons.

MaxWig wrote: »

So engaging in something purely to reach a climax, without a thought for the nameless partner is somehow more noble than providing a climx for cash?

Why do you think the woman is having a one night stand? Because she bloody well wants to climax as well. Both parties are in the same boat. With prostitution it's completely different!!

Making money is enjoyable. One might say it is the primary source of enjoyment for our times. Its the ultimate fetish.

Oh for goodness sake...I give up..

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 07:16PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

What about if you just met her, you liked her otherwise from what you knew of her and she divulged that fact?

I certainly wouldn't entertain seeing her if she was continuing to work.

Other than that, I could see myself entering a relationship with her. I might be deluding myself, but I doubt it.

You have to understand now that I'm imagining my ideal woman

, bar the work as a prostitute.

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 07:27PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

How many men are visiting prostitutes because they don't want to hurt another girls feelings?! Come on, let's be honest here, neither of us have evidence to support it either way and I 100% agree there are different reasons for paying for sex, but I doubt the one you've outlined is one. At least not a significant reason. Most men that use prostitutes would be men who don't attract women themselves, who are older, married and unhappy with their sex lives, men with disabilities etc.

The average 20/30 something year old who has no problem pulling in the pub but doesn't like the annoying text afterwards that he's just a player are not going to fork out a few hundred quid to have no questions asked sex. Unless it's for fetish reasons.

Why do you think the woman is having a one night stand? Because she bloody well wants to climax as well. Both parties are in the same boat. With prostitution it's completely different!!

Oh for goodness sake...I give up..

I know plenty of guys who have visited prostitutes, all of whom were single, professional, sound, attractive, funny, generous and had no particular trouble meeting or hooking up with women.

I would bet my life that they were respectful to the prostitutes in question. I would bet my life that they treated them in much the same way that they would treat a one night stand, bar the payment.

jaffacakesyum · 09-08-2013 07:32PM

MaxWig wrote: »

I know plenty of guys who have visited prostitutes, all of whom were single, professional, sound, attractive, funny, generous and had no particular trouble meeting or hooking up with women.

I would bet my life that they were respectful to the prostitutes in question. I would bet my life that they treated them in much the same way that they would treat a one night stand, bar the payment.

I'm sure they were respectful. I don't believe for a second you know a considerable amount of men who have visited prostitutes though. Obviously I've no proof and we can all choose to believe what we want to believe on internet forums but I don't believe you know a considerable amount of men who use prostitutes, especially so as it's something you've just convenientyly dropped into the conversation 10 pages in to a discussion about prostitution to back up your argument.

It's just not that common a thing to be spoken about in Ireland. And I certainly don't believe it's a common enough thing to be paying for in a recession if you are a "sound attractive and funny man with no problem hooking up with women".

If men had no problem hooking up with women they wouldn't be paying for sex in general

MaxWig · 09-08-2013 07:45PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I'm sure they were respectful. I don't believe for a second you know a considerable amount of men who have visited prostitutes though. Obviously I've no proof and we can all choose to believe what we want to believe on internet forums but I don't believe you know a considerable amount of men who use prostitutes, especially so as it's something you've just convenientyly dropped into the conversation 10 pages in to a discussion about prostitution to back up your argument.

It's just not that common a thing to be spoken about in Ireland. And I certainly don't believe it's a common enough thing to be paying for in a recession if you are a "sound attractive and funny man with no problem hooking up with women".

If men had no problem hooking up with women they wouldn't be paying for sex in general

I think maybe you've lived a sheltered life.

I lived in Holland for 7 months when I was in my early twenties, and it was not unusual for lads to while away a Sunday morning in a brothel.

Look, meeting someone attractive for sex is easy or hard depending on your definition of each, and on the amount of time you're willing to spend in the pursuit.

In Amsterdam the girls that were working could be stunning. The lads were young free and living easy. Not all my mates were inclined to go, but many were.

I don't know a considerable amount. But from within the group I hung about with, a significant percentage went.

Likewise when I lived in the US, it was not uncommon.

I wouldn't underestimate the prevalence of prostitution. Nor would I underestimate the 'calibre', to use a crass term I would never usually use, of individual who use their services.

I agree that Ireland is a small place, and in general a very unforgiving place in terms of its views of sexual practices. This is unfortunate, and hopefully the liberalisation will continue.

Whether you believe me or not is besides the point really. But I don't mention it to 'back up my argument'. I don't feel my argument needs backing up. Statistics speak for themselves, and the prostitution industry is sufficiently healthy to suggest that the clientele are not derived from a select group.

Fizzlesque · 09-08-2013 07:53PM

MaxWig wrote: »

I'm honestly not sure how I'd feel.

I had a close friend who was a prostitute, and I did worry for her. The worry was for her safety, but I'd be lying if I said I did not pass judgement. She was much older than me, and there was no attraction. She was a bright, generous and intelligent woman, and saw no wrong in what she did.

I would like to say that if I met an ex-prostitute, and in the course of our relationship she divulged that fact, that it would not change my opinion of her. Truthfully, I don't believe it would.

If it did however, I would be hypocritical.

I have done despicable, petty things in my time. Things that were not for money, but were motivated out of jealousy, greed and anger. I don't see that prostitution could ever be judged so harshly as any of those things.

When I imagine my gf with ex-partners, it is hard. Such is life. We block out a lot of the facts, especially when it comes to sex.

Thanks for your reply. After I'd posted I realised I probably should have added another question: how would you feel if you met a woman you liked and she told you she had, in the past, paid male escorts to have sex with her?

Would you find it off-putting? Forget, for a moment, the reasons why she did this, just that she did it.

I'm asking this because it's closer to the reverse of the topic we've been discussing than my previous question was, although, I am interested in people's answers to that question too.

I've been surprised by how vociferously those of us who wouldn't want to date a man who visits prostitutes have been lambasted, so it got me wondering about men's attitude to being the boyfriend of a woman who had paid men to sleep with her in the past. Male escorts, who, presumably, would be expected to be proficient in the art of bringing her to orgasm, every time.

The reason I preferred a regular f*** buddy to one night stands, during my 13 years of being single (still ongoing but I no longer engage in meaningless hook-ups) was because I was more likely to be guaranteed an orgasm.

I would hate to pay someone to have sex with me - but the guaranteed orgasm sounds like fun.

GalwayGuy2 · 09-08-2013 07:54PM

How do the men in this thread feel about dating an ex prostitute? Would it bother you if you met a woman, asked her out, and during the date she told you she worked as a prostitute on and off, when she was short of cash and may do so again, if she was in need. Genuinely curious if it would be something you'd be unphased by. Would you ask her not to do so while dating you? Would you decide not to date her - even if she agreed not to while she was dating you? What would your thoughts and feelings on the subject be?

I don't think I'd care tbh. I wouldn't look down on myself for becoming a prostitute, so why would I look down on her?

The part in bold would depend on how trusting our relationship was. If I trusted her implicitly that she cared for me, and the punters were just business, then all well and dandy. But if there was even a smidgeon of doubt, I reckon there'd be a stress in the relationship.

My own personaly feelings about prostitution, is that if it's just a physical thing, grand. They are two consenting adults who can both make their own decisions based on their own experiences. While it is mutually exploitative, or if your less cynical you could call it mutually advantageous, I don't see a problem with it. Although, with the laws Ireland has, you're really chancing it by using a prostitute.

Although, I do find the intimacy part kind of creepy. Most men don't just masturbate inside of a woman, there is usually a to and fro. And the prostitute would probably have to act that, and it would be very interesting how that affects both involved.

And I don't see any problem with a married couple inviting a prostitute for a threesome. It would probably cut out the emotional landmine that that would be. :P

Thanks for your reply. After I'd posted I realised I probably should have added another question: how would you feel if you met a woman you liked and she told you she had, in the past, paid male escorts to have sex with her?

I'd probably think something along the lines of: "Damn, she's a confident woman. We can experiment and explore our sexuality":D Honestly, if she was confident enough to go to a male escort, then she'd be confident enough to tell me what she likes.

Ironically, if a man told me that I would feel slightly disgusted, and have fairly disgusting imagery of him sweating atop a woman. And I'd have doubts whether or not she was forced into it. Strangely, I wouldn't be afraid that the man was forced into it.

Not whataboutery, just answering the questions honestly, and showing my own rather sexist thoughts.

What DO you think

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