Is it seen as acceptable for women to hit men?

Henry9

walshb wrote: »

Yes, but in general a woman's slap won't be near as potent as a man's. I wouldn't forcefully hit a woman because I'd like to think that I have the speed, strength and skills to fend her off and defend myself. Now, should she be a menace and my fending isn't working, yes, she gets decked!

Some dolly bird waving a limp wrist in your direction, fair enough. But there's plenty of women can throw a forceful punch and worse.
What gets my goat is the assumption that they are immune from retaliation.

walshb wrote: »

Now, women too commit these acts, but not near as much as men.

I don't think that's in doubt. More the question that given a woman has done it, is she treated more leniently than a man in the exact same circumstances?

limklad

walshb wrote: »

Regarding men and women committing violent acts and violent crime, it is overwhelmingly men who commit the acts. It is down to nature and testosterone. We are naturally a more aggressive human. Built for it and designed for it. Now, women too commit these acts, but not near as much as men.

This is not true. Women are equally as aggressive. When men hit women they can do far more damage physically. Men out of embarrassment hide their injuries out of fear and shame when their female partner abuse them. But when a man refuse to hit a women and is beaten physically and emotional, psychological and financial abuse by her. Society at large do not care and look the other way into foolishly believe he did something to deserve it.

What person would believe a man when he says a woman beat him up and he would not defend himself especially when people like you believe in untruths? Guards and courts are removing men from the home when he reports physical assaults cause by his female partner, leaving children in the home unprotected from their abusive mother, especially when she falsely claims that he is abusing her.

My Aunt owns a shop and she says her main culprits for thefts are women, not men and women of all backgrounds. Women are equally capable in committing crime. They just not taken into account for it.

Galwayguy35

Following on from the post above I was listening to the radio yesterday and there is a 21% rise in cases of men reporting spousal abuse in comparsion to previous years.

I wonder is this due to it happening more or was it that men just kept quiet about it up to this point and were afraid/ashamed to seek help?

GalwayGuy2

^^^

Actually 68 http://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland/gbauojgbsnkf/

But every statistic from a charity or help service should be treated with a grain of salt. Funding and attention is needed after all.

Galwayguy35

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

^^^

Actually 68 http://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland/gbauojgbsnkf/

But every statistic from a charity or help service should be treated with a grain of salt. Funding and attention is needed after all.

So what does that mean?

They just pull these figures out of the sky?

GalwayGuy2

So what does that mean?

They just pull these figures out of the sky?

If it's an anonymous service, then ya, they pretty much can.

tsiehta

walshb wrote: »

It is down to nature and testosterone. We are naturally a more aggressive human. Built for it and designed for it.

Source?

It always amuses me when highly assumptive armchair evolutionary psychology is stated as an "obvious" fact.

Henry9

tsiehta wrote: »

Source?

It always amuses me when highly assumptive armchair evolutionary psychology is stated as an "obvious" fact.

A source for the fact that testosterone makes an individual more aggressive?
Seriously?

More test => Bigger, stronger, faster, more aggressive, more competitive etc etc etc.
Hardly a controversial thing to say.

walshb

tsiehta wrote: »

Source?

It always amuses me when highly assumptive armchair evolutionary psychology is stated as an "obvious" fact.

Source?

Here's one. In all my time on this earth I may have seen roughly 100 violent altercations. I can safely say that 90-95 percent involved males. Of that, 80 percent was male on male violence.

I challenge anyone to say that of all the violent incidents they have witnessed that it was equal or more leaning towards females being violent.

Not saying women are not or cannot be violent. They sure can.

walshb

limklad wrote: »

This is not true. Women are equally as aggressive. When men hit women they can do far more damage physically. Men out of embarrassment hide their injuries out of fear and shame when their female partner abuse them. But when a man refuse to hit a women and is beaten physically and emotional, psychological and financial abuse by her. Society at large do not care and look the other way into foolishly believe he did something to deserve it.

What person would believe a man when he says a woman beat him up and he would not defend himself especially when people like you believe in untruths? Guards and courts are removing men from the home when he reports physical assaults cause by his female partner, leaving children in the home unprotected from their abusive mother, especially when she falsely claims that he is abusing her.

My Aunt owns a shop and she says her main culprits for thefts are women, not men and women of all backgrounds. Women are equally capable in committing crime. They just not taken into account for it.

Are you really saying to me that men beating on women is at the same level numbers wise as women beating on men? And saying that men just don't report it doesn't make the claim true. If it's not reported then it cannot be verified. We live in a world of statistics and numbers.

What next? Women commit rape as much as men commit rape? It's just that those raped by women don't report it, and hence it goes uncounted?

Wompa1

walshb wrote: »

It is down to nature and testosterone. We are naturally a more aggressive human. Built for it and designed for it. Now, women too commit these acts, but not near as much as men.

Somewhat agree. Though some ladies do think it's ok to hit guys based on tv and\or how they were raised. I went out with a girl who learned it from her mother. She apparently would slap her brothers if they were rude or anything. She hit pretty feckin hard too, hard enough that the side of my face she hit would go red and that eye would water up. She's an ex obviously!

Panthro

walshb wrote: »

What next? Women commit rape as much as men commit rape? It's just that those raped by women don't report it, and hence it goes uncounted?

Mod Note:
Do not drag this thread off topic any further please and thank you.

limklad

walshb wrote: »

Are you really saying to me that men beating on women is at the same level numbers wise as women beating on men? And saying that men just don't report it doesn't make the claim true. If it's not reported then it cannot be verified. We live in a world of statistics and numbers.

What next? Women commit rape as much as men commit rape? It's just that those raped by women don't report it, and hence it goes uncounted?

Women abuse on men goes further than just physical abuse. Most men do not hit back when hit by a woman. It different when it another man hitting men. Abusive Women goes from basic slaps to full on bruises to serious injuries if not brought to account, just like men when not brought to account which increases their arrogant attitude for been in control of their victim.

In Britain with Terrorism causing more CCTV camera been place all over the cities in Britain, ore and more violent cases are been recorded and it open the police and CPS eyes on the so call passive women attitude. When society foolish believe that women can do no harm, they become complicit of child abuse perpetrated by women.

Abusive Women are far more dangerous in destroying their men lives many which which leaves no scars. Women have far more manipulate than men. Abusive women have society backing when they tell lies about abuse in the home. Just like abusive men, abusive women controls their victims lives, reading anything good to abusive control, isolating and the victim taking the blame for everything.

How many suicides are result of abuse in the home?
Men are not easily believed.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2011/jun/07/feminism-domestic-violence-men
Domestic violence has traditionally been understood as a crime perpetrated by domineering men against defenceless women. Research spanning over 40 years has, however, consistently found that men and women self-report perpetrating domestic violence at similar rates. Professor John Archer from the University of Central Lancashire has conducted a number of meta-analytic reviews of these studies and found that women are as likely to use domestic violence as men, but women are twice as likely as men to be injured or killed during a domestic assault. Men still represent a substantial proportion of people who are assaulted, injured or killed by an intimate partner (50%, 30% and 25% respectively).

One reason may be the feminist movement. Feminism took up the cause of domestic abuse of women in the 1970s, with the world's first women's refuge being opened by Erin Pizzey in 1971. Feminism understood domestic violence as the natural extension of men's patriarchal attitudes towards women, leading men to feel they had the right to control their partners, using violence if necessary. Feminists campaigned successfully to bring the issue into the public arena, thereby securing resources to establish services to help victims. This activism and advocacy led to governmental and public acceptance that "domestic violence" was synonymous with violence against women.


Paradoxically, feminist concerns for female victims may also have led to the recent increase in arrests of female perpetrators. The disparity between prevalence study statistics and criminal conviction data of male domestic violence perpetration led US feminists to successfully campaign for mandatory arrest policies for domestic violence call-outs. Mandatory arrest policies coincided with a three-fold increase in the number of women arrested. In the UK, a pro-arrest policy was also introduced, requiring police forces to always consider an arrest in domestic violence cases. Although not eliminating police discretion, the policy undoubtedly diminished individual police officers' discretionary powers. The increase in female arrests for domestic violence suggests that when police officers were freer to exercise discretion, it was exercised more frequently in favour of female perpetrators.


In recent years, female violence has become a more public affair, with changes in drinking patterns being a likely contributing factor to more women being arrested for violent offences outside of the home. In addition, the widespread use of CCTV may have provided sufficient evidence for the police and CPS to override stereotypes of women as nonviolent. The erosion of the passive female stereotype is likely to result in more women being charged and convicted of offences generally, which might also result in increases in the conviction rates for women's domestic violence.
The dual stereotypes of the violent man and passive woman have undoubtedly obscured the existence of male victims of domestic violence in the past. Men were also unlikely to view their own victimisation as either domestic violence or a criminal assault, and so were unlikely to seek help.

Erin Pizzey also noted about female perpetrator of abuse not only on men but on children, in the early days and she was abused and ridiculed by other women especially feminism that this could not happen. She knew about female abusers from her own childhood.
http://www.4thought.tv/themes/how-should-we-define-domestic-abuse/erin-pizzey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIpShuFUM0s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-nhgDCndCM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab2b-k_ZaEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ8CiHFqhF8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKiCVBAFKcQ

ViveLaVie

zenno wrote: »

I don't get this comment... it's not like you are hand-cuffed together in a tiny space ? just walk away and leave, how hard can it be.

Why stay in the area if you are being assaulted by either a man or woman. The first thing i would do if a crazy woman attacked me is walk off or drive off, what's all this junk talk of whilst a woman hitting a bloke is accepted ? this shouldn't be accepted and the reason why i said walk away Slan, goodbye, i'm off, catch ye later, why stay around a problem when you can leave a problem?

Who says they can leave? I was sexually assaulted in a club in full view of people and nobody did a thing. I'm a small weakling of a woman - I was literally powerless to stop this big strapping man from groping me.

Doctor DooM wrote: »

You used the words "lesser crime" so I actually thought you meant crime.

Anyway I disagree completely. A small person can figure out how to hurt a bigger person. They can use weapons. Even if they don't they can use words. Even if they don't, no one should have to walk this world in fear of physical abuse- be they huge or not. That's the end result of saying "Ah sure fellas are huge, it's only a wimmin". Ask Amen.

Yeah? How was I to figure out how to hurt a man much stronger and bigger than me while being physically restrained? I'm sorry but if you've never felt the fear of being forcibly held and assaulted, you have no idea how difficult it is.

Wompa1 wrote: »

Are you for real? Of course a woman can shove a guy. My friend goes out with a girl who is well under 5 feet and she's well able to shove him and he's 6 feet 2. If you shove a guy and he doesn't leave you alone, then go to the bouncers.

There is no excuse for slapping or punching anybody. It's archaic and should be an outdated mindset.

Er yeah there is. If I am being sexually assaulted and feel scared and endangered I am perfectly entitled to defend myself.

Where is everyone getting this "just walk away and tell the bouncer?" from? What if you can't? ?

Feisar

An ex of mine hit me with a full force back hander in a chipper after a night out and no one said boo so I suppose in my experience it is seen as acceptable. To be fair to her though I had just given her a smack on the ass which even though the drunkenness hurt my hand. I'll always remember thinking oh frick that was harder than I meant just before the wallop landed. Seen stars and the whole lot. Some serious sex was had that night!

Anyway point being no one was too bothered about poor lil' defenceless me!

Rev Hellfire

ViveLaVie wrote: »

Where is everyone getting this "just walk away and tell the bouncer?" from? What if you can't? ?

Then you use the minimum amount of necessary force to get away and then pass the matter to the relevant authority, bouncer in a venue for example.

Esoteric_

Feisar wrote: »

An ex of mine hit me with a full force back hander in a chipper after a night out and no one said boo so I suppose in my experience it is seen as acceptable. To be fair to her though I had just given her a smack on the ass which even though the drunkenness hurt my hand. I'll always remember thinking oh frick that was harder than I meant just before the wallop landed. Seen stars and the whole lot. Some serious sex was had that night!

Anyway point being no one was too bothered about poor lil' defenceless me!

Possibly because you hit her first?

Femme_Fatale

limklad wrote: »

Women abuse on men goes further than just physical abuse. Most men do not hit back when hit by a woman. It different when it another man hitting men. Abusive Women goes from basic slaps to full on bruises to serious injuries if not brought to account, just like men when not brought to account which increases their arrogant attitude for been in control of their victim.

In Britain with Terrorism causing more CCTV camera been place all over the cities in Britain, ore and more violent cases are been recorded and it open the police and CPS eyes on the so call passive women attitude. When society foolish believe that women can do no harm, they become complicit of child abuse perpetrated by women.

Abusive Women are far more dangerous in destroying their men lives many which which leaves no scars. Women have far more manipulate than men. Abusive women have society backing when they tell lies about abuse in the home. Just like abusive men, abusive women controls their victims lives, reading anything good to abusive control, isolating and the victim taking the blame for everything.

How many suicides are result of abuse in the home?
Men are not easily believed.

You seem to claim that anything bad done by men, women do worse. "Abusive women are far more dangerous in destroying their men's lives"?, "Women are more manipulative than men"? Seriously, try to step back and be more even-handed and fair.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

My brother was dating an absolute physco for a bit last year. The day that things came to a head, they were driving along in his car, her in the passenger seat, when she hit him in the face and broke his nose. He stopped the car, completely blinded and got out while the blood poured down his face, and she jumped out after him and beat the crap out of him on the side of the road.
Unknown to both of them, someone in the house inside rang the guards but the guards didn't come.

He put her back into the car, not wanting to leave her on the road hysterical as she was. He was driving home to clean himself up, and she was hitting him and scratching him the whole way out in the car. When he stopped at our house she had broken the concave thing off his car. He held it up, and was like look what you done. She went to hit it out of his hands and caught her arm on the jagged bit, and started bleeding. My brother brought her inside to clean her up and she spat in his face in front of my father. My dad told her to get out and her friend came to pick her up.

About an hour and a half later, the squad car pulled into our house to bring my brother in for questioning. I said, have you seen the state of his face? To which the guard replied "she's in a bad way too".

My brother went in, with me, and told the guards what happened, the guard was able to say the area the broken nose happened in since they had received a call of a woman beating a man on the road. My brother also showed photos of black eyes he had gotten from her, showed them a chipped tooth from her hitting him, and a cut on his head from where she knocked him down with her car, he told the guards to check his records in the hospital where he had a broken hand where she slammed down the boot of a car on his hand.

Did the guards care? No. Were they interested in a statement? No. My brother had to insist on them taking photos of his injuries and the only thing the guard really said after he heard the whole story was "why are you still with her then?" Didn't see them send a squad car to her house. But it goes to show the woman is always believed and it's taken seriously even when the allegations are false.

elfy4eva

I feel from this thread that many people would intervene if they saw a man hit a woman, I would wonder if they'd be willing to do the same if they saw a woman attacking a man. In all honesty.

Deise Vu

Am I the only person who thinks it strange that you would want to be with someone you have regular arguments with let alone someone who uses violence?

In the unlikely event a girlfriend hit me I most certainly wouldn't hit her back but she would definitely have gained the prefix 'Ex'.

Pawwed Rig

Deise Vu wrote: »

Am I the only person who thinks it strange that you would want to be with someone you have regular arguments with let alone someone who uses violence?

No but some people endure it for years, others for their whole lives for a whole variety of reasons

Femme_Fatale

Deise Vu wrote: »

Am I the only person who thinks it strange that you would want to be with someone you have regular arguments with let alone someone who uses violence?

In the unlikely event a girlfriend hit me I most certainly wouldn't hit her back but she would definitely have gained the prefix 'Ex'.

It's not always easy to just walk from a long-term abusive relationship - the person on the receiving end of the abuse has had their confidence ground down, and can be dependent on their partner.

Pawwed Rig

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

It's not always easy to just walk from a long-term abusive relationship - the person on the receiving end of the abuse has had their confidence ground down, and can be dependent on their partner.

Never mind possibly ending up homeless and finding himself permanently separated from his children

Deise Vu

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Never mind possibly ending up homeless and finding himself permanently separated from his children

Just to be clear, my post was in reaction to the bizarre story of the nose-breaking, scratching, spitting psycho girlfriend.

Compu Global Hyper Meganet

Deise Vu wrote: »

Just to be clear, my post was in reaction to the bizarre story of the nose-breaking, scratching, spitting psycho girlfriend.

Sometimes psycho girlfriends can become even more psychotic ex-girlfriends. Maybe his brother had a pet rabbit that he was fond of....

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Deise Vu wrote: »

Just to be clear, my post was in reaction to the bizarre story of the nose-breaking, scratching, spitting psycho girlfriend.

Would the story be so bizarre if it had been the male beating on the girlfriend? Don't think so. That's the attitude I think the OP was getting at in the original post.

And I have no idea why one would stay in an unhealthy abusive relationship, but there was obviously something there. She had cracked a pint glass in his face the year previous to the "bizarre" incident and they got back together? I think it's easy for us to say its your own fault if you don't get away from it, ect but there's something clearly holding them there, nobody would willingly want to be abused and the fault should lie with the person being violent and not with the victim, whatever the sex.

Deise Vu

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Would the story be so bizarre if it had been the male beating on the girlfriend? Don't think so. That's the attitude I think the OP was getting at in the original post.

And I have no idea why one would stay in an unhealthy abusive relationship, but there was obviously something there. She had cracked a pint glass in his face the year previous to the "bizarre" incident and they got back together? I think it's easy for us to say its your own fault if you don't get away from it, ect but there's something clearly holding them there, nobody would willingly want to be abused and the fault should lie with the person being violent and not with the victim, whatever the sex.

So this girlfriend has cracked a pint glass in your brothers face, broken his nose,blackened his eyes, chipped his tooth and cut his head in various incidents. A girlfriend with presumably no children or house or financial dependancy involved?That makes two of us who cannot understand why one would stay in an unhealthy abusive relationship. There is absolutely no need for the quotation marks on the word 'bizarre'.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Deise Vu wrote: »

So this girlfriend has cracked a pint glass in your brothers face, broken his nose,blackened his eyes, chipped his tooth and cut his head in various incidents. A girlfriend with presumably no children or house or financial dependancy involved?That makes two of us who cannot understand why one would stay in an unhealthy abusive relationship. There is absolutely no need for the quotation marks on the word 'bizarre'.

I'm sorry but considering I'm the one writing the post, I don't need you to tell me what there's a need for or what there's not a need for.

I think the fact is I personally would find anyone staying in an abusive relationship hard to understand, be it male or female, even for financial reasons or because of the children. In an ideal world, I would say should I ever find myself in that position I would take the kids as I would not leave them with a violent person, but it's easy for me to say isn't it? I'm not in that position and I'm of clear mind and not been subjected to years of being worn down or abused.

There has got to be something there, holding the abused in the relationship, wether that is a misguided belief that the abuser loves them really and it's a once off, or they deserved it, or there's a pair of them in it and it wouldn't have happened if they hadnt done X Y or Z, or the "why do you make me so angry" Speech after being assaulted. Maybe the relationship isn't completely volatile all the time and they think that they'd be throwing away another wise nice relationship? Who knows, but I think it's completely unfair for someone who doesn't understand the situation to wade in and be all like "it's easy solved, just leave, it's bizarre that you're allowing it happen". Yes, you'd be right but if it was that simple then nobody would be living in fear.

iptba

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Never mind possibly ending up homeless and finding himself permanently separated from his children

Perhaps worth highlighting here the contrasting availability of refuges for men and women in Ireland, or put another way, the lack of refuges for men..