Loungers who lunch even more!! **MOD WARNING OPENING POST**

awec

This post has been deleted.

x Purple Pawprints x

I've tried the conversation, believe me. It got me nowhere.

Ella

Write her a letter?

WesternNight

awec wrote: »

You clearly need to have a conversation with your mother. Posting about it on here might feel good but it's not going to fix anything.

I'll remind you of that next time you post complaining about being hungover

x Purple Pawprints x

The letter might work, I'll think about it.

awec

This post has been deleted.

xDramaxQueenx

PP she can't treat you like a child at 24. She's the wagon here, not you. You need to stand up for yourself, I know it's hard but nothing worth doing is easy. She is never going to change unless you change first. x

Ella

awec wrote: »

Ah now, that's "complaining". Self inflicted pain. :P

My point is, PP clearly has issues with her mother. Only way to discover the problem is to discuss it like an adult.

Whatever! You're still a moany hole!

Ilyana

It must be coming up to exam time, I have an overwhelming urge to clean things.

Cerulean Chicken

x Purple Pawprints x wrote: »

I wish I had the courage to

x Purple Pawprints x wrote: »

Bye guys.

Is the "Bye guys" where you disappear for a few days because you didn't get "yeah there's nothing you can do about her, you're right to back down" replies that you want? Everyone here always offers great advice, support, ideas, advice, they just usually involve needing some action to happen instead of sitting back and waiting, there's no magic answer to problems like your mother in life, you have to do something about it. You're 24, tell her to feck off and mind her own business.

coffee_cake

Someone pack up all my stuff and drive me up to dublin, cheers

Should probably enrol for trx on thursday since I didn't make it today. I think the thursday class is on really early though. humm
Trx kettlebell conditioning is what I do, trx kettlebell bootcamp is the later one.

krudler

x Purple Pawprints x wrote: »

The letter might work, I'll think about it.

why not just do it, thinking about it wont solve anything, or just sit her down for a chat

WesternNight

Guys, sometimes people just want to be listened to. Not told what to do. Just saying..

x Purple Pawprints x

@CC - no it's not.

Wasn't really posting for advice tbh but it's grand.

Cerulean Chicken

WesternNight wrote: »

Guys, sometimes people just want to be listened to. Not told what to do. Just saying..

Yeah but people's instinct is to offer help, especially when they see the person struggling with the same thing over and over.

Ah_Yeah

I can completely understand that people want to post here to be listened to, as that's what tLL is about, right? Supporting each other.

However, I can see where some of the other posters are coming from in a way - PP has a very difficult mother, but the situation could possibly be solved with her talking to her mother, or not rising to it and allowing it to go over her head. As this is sound reasonable advice, if no action is taken and the same issues are posted about over and over again, it's expected that people are frustrated?

I know I'd be frustrated if my friend kept venting about the same thing over and over and never listened to a word I said.

Cerulean Chicken

Yeah I suppose the problem is in this thread people feel they've gone past just being posters in a thread and are friends, and when friends are down or need help you give advice, as blunt as the advice may be.

Ah_Yeah

Cerulean Chicken wrote: »

Yeah I suppose the problem is in this thread people feel they've gone past just being posters in a thread and are friends, and when friends are down or need help you give advice, as blunt as the advice may be.

That's exactly it - we're not just usernames in here. We're a community of people who we all know really well. So when someone has problems they need to vent about, it's the typical supportive friend to offer advice or solutions. Think about how a venting session would go with your friends IRL. Pretty much the same!

Lucyfur

I have nutella and a spoon.

I blame Ilyana.

Lyaiera

I dunno about the situation with PP. My father is a complete twonk, we've all tried dealing with him but he has problems of his own. My mother puts her foot down about the most important issues but there's literally no dealing with him. Sometimes the only way to address the issue is to avoid it. That's why I'm looking for a jerb, so I can move out. Then I won't have to deal with him because I've really tried and it's no use. It's all very well people advising calm and logic but some people are just downright bloody minded and stubborn.

Ella

PP: what do your real life friends say about the situation? They know your mam better than us? And I don't mean your bf. I mean your girlfriends?

Ilyana

Lucyfur wrote: »

I have nutella and a spoon.

I blame Ilyana.

I have Nutella on toast right now :pac:

I am a terrible influence!

Honey-ec

Lyaiera wrote: »

t's all very well people advising calm and logic but some people are just downright bloody minded and stubborn.

Well then they deserve to be told to fcuk off, not pandered to!

Whispered

I don't know what is going on with PP's mother but maybe she doesn't feel up to doing anything about it at the moment. I truly know it's because ye care but maybe PP just wants to get stuff off her chest and just being there to listen and sympathise is enough for her right now. I'm sure when the time comes she decides to make a stand your support and encouragement will be well appreciated.

PP I have/had a difficult enough relationship with one of my family members, from what I read of your posts I don't think the issues are similar beyond the feeling of powerlessness that comes with an issue with a parent. I spend a lot of my time being the adult in the relationship. But at the moment things are great, we look forward to seeing each other and we enjoy each others company. I had to take a step back and stop seeing them as a relative and try see them as just a person. It gives a whole new perspective if that makes any sense.

Whispered

Honey-ec wrote: »

Well then they deserve to be told to fcuk off, not pandered to!

Sometimes much easier said than done though. Particularly if a parent is overbearing and if you're living at home.

Ah_Yeah

Lucyfur wrote: »

I have nutella and a spoon.

I blame Ilyana.

I want Nutella and a good spoon. Not the silver kind.

Chimpokomon

Whispered wrote: »

I don't know what is going on with PP's mother but maybe she doesn't feel up to doing anything about it at the moment. I truly know it's because ye care but maybe PP just wants to get stuff off her chest and just being there to listen and sympathise is enough for her right now. I'm sure when the time comes she decides to make a stand your support and encouragement will be well appreciated.

That would be all well and good if she hadn't been making the exact same posts in this very thread about the exact same issues for at least the last two years. Everyone's head is wrecked because it's exhausting.

Ella

Ah_Yeah wrote: »

I want Nutella and a good spoon. Not the silver kind.

That could get messy.

Ilyana

Ah_Yeah wrote: »

I want Nutella and a good spoon. Not the silver kind.

I can offer both:P

And our actual spoons are from IKEA

x Purple Pawprints x

@ Ella - my friends don't really know what she's like because they're not here a lot and she doesn't really reveal her true colours in front of them..

@ Lyaiera - yeah my mother is similar, sometimes there's just no talking to her.


@ Whispered - Powerlessness, you hit the nail on the head right there.