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Playing Hard to Get

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    #122
    redandwhite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 105 ✭✭redandwhite


    Siuin wrote: »
    I really don’t understand it. What is it with some guys' need to feel as if they should really have to work hard and suffer in order to sleep with a woman for her to be of any value? I just fail to understand the merits of sending a guy back home after a great date with a severe case of blue balls when we both clearly want to have sex. Hell, at times I think it’s best to cut to the chase early in order to clear the sexual tension so that you can really get to know the person without your judgement being clouded by the overwhelming urge to ride them senseless.

    A male friend of mine (well, I use the term loosely as he’s really a ‘facebook friend’, which is an entirely different matter altogether) recently told me that I should have played harder to get in order to retain the attention of a guy I was dating, but to be honest I’m simply far too direct a person and feel that it’s a little immature to have to revert to such childish tactics to keep a guy keen.

    If I like someone, why should I need to fúck with his head and build up this persona of a Woman of Mystery in order to keep his attention? After all, when we eventually do have sex, aren't we back to where we started anyway? It’s just sex; it’s a natural urge just like any other, so why put the pússy on a pedestal and build it up to be something it’s not? I wouldn't even call it a Madonna/Whore complex – just a matter of some guys feeling as if they always need to hunt for their food and if they don’t get a chance to stalk and kill it, then it can’t have been all that tasty to begin with.

    Just… why?!

    The world would be a far less stressful place for men if all women felt this way!!


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    #123
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Siuin wrote: »

    So basically, if women are to have any power in this world they need to use their sexuality as a commodity instead of taking pleasure in the fact that they, like men, are also sexual beings?

    No, they can have power without sexuality just like men. However restricting supply increases the price for it. More men will do what they are told by women the more restricted the supply of sex.

    Of course women enjoy sex too, but this is just what women and men in general are doing in monogomous societies.

    Women just get extra power by restricting the supply of sex .


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    #124
    otto_26
    Registered Users Posts: 518 ✭✭✭otto_26


    Eve_Dublin wrote: »
    Sorry man, you can deny it all you want but that comment is judgemental. You're entitled to make judgements on people (we're all guilty of it) but please don't pretend you're not when it's so blatant.

    You mean that's why your not going out with a fat ugly man or a mean or sleazy man?


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    #125
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    otto_26 wrote: »
    You mean that's why your not going out with a fat ugly man or a mean or sleazy man?



    As I said, we're all judgemental and make judgements but the difference is, I don't deny it. You believe women who have one night stands have no respect for themselves and are "easy" (whatever that means in 2012). That's a personal judgement, not a fact. That's all I'm saying. :)


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    #126
    Siuin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,659 ✭✭✭Siuin


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    No, they can have power without sexuality just like men. However restricting supply increases the price for it. More men will do what they are told by women the more restricted the supply of sex.

    Of course women enjoy sex too, but this is just what women and men in general are doing in monogomous societies.

    Women just get extra power by restricting the supply of sex .
    I must say, I find this whole supply/demand thing rather bizarre and unnatural- I've never had to withhold sex in previous relationships in order to gain the upper hand or whatever. That said, I've never actually wanted to take over power from my partner, since I believe in having a relationship where everyone's on equal footing and doesn't lord over the other.


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    #127
    Sparklygirl
    Registered Users Posts: 62 ✭✭Sparklygirl


    I agree with the gold analogy. I think that it is human nature to desire rare things. For example, diamonds are lovely, but if they were a quid a peace, they would not be considered so beautiful. I think the same applies to sex. Let's say you live in a small irish town and there are two ladies equally as attactive, but one of them has slept with a lot of the single men her age in the town and the other has not, who is the most desired? I think the lady who has not slept with lots of men, she is more desirable having as sex with her means you are special- you are the chosen one LOL. I would apply the same rule to men though. If I fella has been around and is not choosey then he is not as desirable.


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    #128
    Siuin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,659 ✭✭✭Siuin


    Sparklygirl wrote: »
    I agree with the gold analogy. I think that it is human nature to desire rare things. For example, diamonds are lovely, but if they were a quid a peace, they would not be considered so beautiful. I think the same applies to sex. Let's say you live in a small irish town and there are two ladies equally as attactive, but one of them has slept with a lot of the single men her age in the town and the other has not, who is the most desired? I think the lady who has not slept with lots of men, she is more desirable having as sex with her means you are special- you are the chosen one LOL. I would apply the same rule to men though. If I fella has been around and is not choosey then he is not as desirable.

    If you want to buy into the notion of human beings becoming damaged goods because of their sexual experiences, be my guest. Personally, I see it as little more than a cheap ploy to reign control over peoples' sexualities, particularly women's.


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    #129
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    Sparklygirl wrote: »
    I agree with the gold analogy. I think that it is human nature to desire rare things. For example, diamonds are lovely, but if they were a quid a peace, they would not be considered so beautiful. I think the same applies to sex. Let's say you live in a small irish town and there are two ladies equally as attactive, but one of them has slept with a lot of the single men her age in the town and the other has not, who is the most desired? I think the lady who has not slept with lots of men, she is more desirable having as sex with her means you are special- you are the chosen one LOL. I would apply the same rule to men though. If I fella has been around and is not choosey then he is not as desirable.

    Unfortunately society doesn't. Maybe question why that is.


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    #130
    daisybelle2008
    Registered Users Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭daisybelle2008


    otto_26 wrote: »
    [/COLOR]
    Wow I think you might have been hurt in the past.

    I have a tiny socially conditioned mind because I don't think the way you do nice!!

    So no I'm not judging anyone As far as having no respect for a women because she's not my type.... get real...

    Why would you think I've been hurt in the past, what's the implication :confused:

    I am not sure why you feel the need to defend yourself personally to me. I didn't direct my post to you personally, it was hypothetical. I am not really interested in your personal information, we are discussing if it is warranted to judge a woman's sexuality, if prejudice is warranted.


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    #131
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,326 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    I heard DeBeers have all the sex locked away in a vault in Zurich.


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    #132
    otto_26
    Registered Users Posts: 518 ✭✭✭otto_26


    Eve_Dublin wrote: »
    As I said, we're all judgemental and make judgements but the difference is, I don't deny it. You believe women who have one night stands have no respect for themselves and are "easy" (whatever that means in 2012). That's a personal judgement, not a fact. That's all I'm saying. :)

    But I'm not judgemental these people are my friends? I want to be around these girls... but I would prefer a girl who isn't easy and has respect for herself.... I'm not denying anything?

    I have slept with loads of girls because I'm easy and have no respect for myself that's a fact.

    If someone gives someone else sex easily then that means it's easy to have sex with that person fact. They are easy.

    If someone is willing to take a stranger home for sex, then they are not showing respect for their bodies on the dangers they are putting themselves at. No respect for themselves fact.

    Could it be you maybe that is in denial maybe????


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    #133
    Ando's Saggy Bottom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭Ando's Saggy Bottom


    Siuin wrote: »
    I really don’t understand it. What is it with some guys' need to feel as if they should really have to work hard and suffer in order to sleep with a woman for her to be of any value? I just fail to understand the merits of sending a guy back home after a great date with a severe case of blue balls when we both clearly want to have sex. Hell, at times I think it’s best to cut to the chase early in order to clear the sexual tension so that you can really get to know the person without your judgement being clouded by the overwhelming urge to ride them senseless.

    A male friend of mine (well, I use the term loosely as he’s really a ‘facebook friend’, which is an entirely different matter altogether) recently told me that I should have played harder to get in order to retain the attention of a guy I was dating, but to be honest I’m simply far too direct a person and feel that it’s a little immature to have to revert to such childish tactics to keep a guy keen.

    If I like someone, why should I need to fúck with his head and build up this persona of a Woman of Mystery in order to keep his attention? After all, when we eventually do have sex, aren't we back to where we started anyway? It’s just sex; it’s a natural urge just like any other, so why put the pússy on a pedestal and build it up to be something it’s not? I wouldn't even call it a Madonna/Whore complex – just a matter of some guys feeling as if they always need to hunt for their food and if they don’t get a chance to stalk and kill it, then it can’t have been all that tasty to begin with.

    Just… why?!
    This reads like the sh*te that big nosed c*nt from Sex and the City used whinge on about all the time.


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    #134
    daisybelle2008
    Registered Users Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭daisybelle2008


    Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »
    No, they can have power without sexuality just like men. However restricting supply increases the price for it. More men will do what they are told by women the more restricted the supply of sex.

    Of course women enjoy sex too, but this is just what women and men in general are doing in monogomous societies.

    Women just get extra power by restricting the supply of sex .

    But when the negative judgements that are causing the restriction come from men how does that support the theory, isn't that cutting off their own supply?
    Surely encouraging and revering 'easiness' would be the obvious economic adjustment to counter the supply problem.


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    #135
    Siuin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,659 ✭✭✭Siuin


    Pete Campbell wrote: »
    This reads like the sh*te that big nosed c*nt from Sex and the City used whinge on about all the time.
    :rolleyes: Funny how many men are intimidated by the prospect of women actually having a say over their own sexuality


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    #136
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    otto_26 wrote: »
    But I'm not judgemental these people are my friends? I want to be around these girls... but I would prefer a girl who isn't easy and has respect for herself.... I'm not denying anything?

    I have slept with loads of girls because I'm easy and have no respect for myself that's a fact.

    If someone gives someone else sex easily then that means it's easy to have sex with that person fact. They are easy.

    If someone is willing to take a stranger home for sex, then they are not showing respect for their bodies on the dangers they are putting themselves at. No respect for themselves fact.

    Could it be you maybe that is in denial maybe????

    It's not a fact. What risks are you talking about? What difference would it make if you met that stranger 20 more times then slept with them? STIs, for example, don't just cure themselves the more you get to know them.

    How is having sex with someone disrespecting your body? And why does it make a difference if you do it on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 50th date?

    Your comments are judgemental.


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    #137
    daisybelle2008
    Registered Users Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭daisybelle2008


    otto_26 wrote: »
    But I'm not judgemental these people are my friends? I want to be around these girls... but I would prefer a girl who isn't easy and has respect for herself.... I'm not denying anything?

    I have slept with loads of girls because I'm easy and have no respect for myself that's a fact.

    If someone gives someone else sex easily then that means it's easy to have sex with that person fact. They are easy.

    If someone is willing to take a stranger home for sex, then they are not showing respect for their bodies on the dangers they are putting themselves at. No respect for themselves fact.

    Could it be you maybe that is in denial maybe????

    Seriously just because you but it in bold, doesn't mean you have demonstrated that you understand what a fact is or that you understand the difference between fact and opinion. You really only emphasis that you don't understand the difference.


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    #138
    otto_26
    Registered Users Posts: 518 ✭✭✭otto_26


    daisybelle2008 wrote: »
    Why would you think I've been hurt in the past, what's the implication :confused:

    It was my opinion because you went into about how any man who likes women who don't sleep around as having tiny socially conditioned minds that have latched onto like racism or homophobia.. Just sounds like someone who has been hurt, only my opinion obviously if you say otherwise I stand corrected.
    daisybelle2008 wrote: »
    I am not sure why you feel the need to defend yourself personally to me. I didn't direct my post to you personally, it was hypothetical.

    Because you claimed that I said:
    daisybelle2008 wrote: »
    You have already justified the need for punishment by agreeing the woman deserves no respect


    Which is lies I never once suggested women deserve no respect I gave the opinion that some men like to think the girl their seeing isn't easy and that she has respect for her body.

    So yes actually you did post to me personally so I felt the need to defend myself personally to you.
    daisybelle2008 wrote: »
    I am not really interested in your personal information, we are discussing if it is warranted to judge a woman's sexuality, if prejudice is warranted.

    As a individual posting in a public forum I'm allowed to use personal life experiences to add more depth to my posts. Please feel free to show me any information I posted that was to personal for you:rolleyes:

    And the title of the thread is "Playing hard to get" not "if it is warranted to judge a woman's sexuality" :rolleyes:


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    #139
    otto_26
    Registered Users Posts: 518 ✭✭✭otto_26


    daisybelle2008 wrote: »
    Seriously just because you but it in bold, doesn't mean you have demonstrated that you understand what a fact is or that you understand the difference between fact and opinion. You really only emphasis that you don't understand the difference.


    I'm easy to have sex with. That's not an opinion that's fact.

    I don't have respect for my body I'm willing to sleep with strangers regardless of the dangers I present to my body. That's not an opinion that's fact.

    :rolleyes:


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    #140
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    otto_26 wrote: »
    I'm easy to have sex with. That's not an opinion that's fact.

    I don't have respect for my body I'm willing to sleep with strangers regardless of the dangers I present to my body. That's not an opinion that's fact.

    :rolleyes:

    Let me just remind you of the topic here: we're talking about waiting to have sex with someone. How is it more dangerous to have sex on the first date or the 5th date? Can you explain that please?


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    #141
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    kowloon wrote: »
    I heard DeBeers have all the sex locked away in a vault in Zurich.

    You need a special type of key to open it.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



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    #142
    otto_26
    Registered Users Posts: 518 ✭✭✭otto_26


    Eve_Dublin wrote: »
    Let me just remind you of the topic here: we're talking about waiting to have sex with someone. How is it more dangerous to have sex on the first date or the 5th date? Can you explain that please?

    We are talking about opinion and facts? Your claiming I'm being judgemental when I tell a person facts.

    I'm easy to have sex with. That's not an opinion that's fact.

    I don't have respect for my body I'm willing to sleep with strangers regardless of the dangers I present to my body. That's not an opinion that's fact.

    Why is it judgemental for someone to tell me I'm easy?

    Why is it judgemental for someone to tell me I don't have respect for my body?

    I am easy and don't have Respect these are facts? And I show people these facts by the way I act...


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    #143
    Siuin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,659 ✭✭✭Siuin


    Just as an update on the original post- things actually turned in my favour with that guy my 'friend' told me I should have played games with to keep keen. He told me that he really liked how I wasn't like the other girls and was so honest with him.

    Just got invited to meet his family this weekend...
    Just sayin' :cool:




    *giddy as a Catholic school girl!!* :D


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    #144
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    otto_26 wrote: »
    We are talking about opinion and facts? Your claiming I'm being judgemental when I tell a person facts.

    I'm easy to have sex with. That's not an opinion that's fact.

    I don't have respect for my body I'm willing to sleep with strangers regardless of the dangers I present to my body. That's not an opinion that's fact.

    Why is it judgemental for someone to tell me I'm easy?

    Why is it judgemental for someone to tell me I don't have respect for my body?

    I am easy and don't have Respect these are facts? And I show people these facts by the way I act...

    I'm asking you about the dangers. Again, what dangers are more apparent if you sleep with someone on the first date that aren't present if you sleep with them on the 5th date? Can you answer that question please? If it's a fact, you should be abel to find some facts very easily to back up your claims.


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    #145
    daisybelle2008
    Registered Users Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭daisybelle2008


    otto_26 wrote: »
    It was my opinion because you went into about how any man who likes women who don't sleep around as having tiny socially conditioned minds that have latched onto like racism or homophobia.. Just sounds like someone who has been hurt, only my opinion obviously if you say otherwise I stand corrected.



    Because you claimed that I said:




    Which is lies I never once suggested women deserve no respect I gave the opinion that some men like to think the girl their seeing isn't easy and that she has respect for her body.

    So yes actually you did post to me personally so I felt the need to defend myself personally to you.



    As a individual posting in a public forum I'm allowed to use personal life experiences to add more depth to my posts. Please feel free to show me any information I posted that was to personal for you:rolleyes:

    And the title of the thread is "Playing hard to get" not "if it is warranted to judge a woman's sexuality" :rolleyes:

    The *you* and *he* in my post were referring to the hypothetical guy we were discussing up to that point, not you personally. One might have been better.

    Your information is not to personal for me, but you really don't understand the difference between fact and opinion. As you feel your opinion is fact there is really no need for you to offer it as it nullifies the need for a discussion at all.


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    #146
    ViveLaVie
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭ViveLaVie


    Some of the people decrying others on here for being judgemental are being just as judgemental themselves. 'Tiny socially conditioned minds' is one such horribly judgemental comment.


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    #147
    otto_26
    Registered Users Posts: 518 ✭✭✭otto_26


    Eve_Dublin wrote: »
    Let me just remind you of the topic here: we're talking about waiting to have sex with someone. How is it more dangerous to have sex on the first date or the 5th date? Can you explain that please?

    It's not any more dangerous it's about getting to know if that person is someone you want to sleep with... What happens if someone tells you on the third date they have HIV? will you still sleep with them then? Or would you regret sleeping with them?


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    #148
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,326 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    I'd like to interject and suggest that some of the problem might lie with jealousy. A fellow might not be too pleased if his lady has had many encounters which make for a bad comparison with his few awkward fumbles. And since it's easier for a lady to have encounters of a carnal nature the only way to control them is to attach shame to not being chaste. So perhaps the strict rationing of lady parts is not as clear cut as Women withholding to maintain power but men instituting shame on the act of being a little bit easier.

    Of course I could be talking bollocks, but I've just eaten a piece of ham the size of my own head and I'm a bit drowsy.


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    #149
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    ViveLaVie wrote: »
    Some of the people decrying others on here for being judgemental are being just as judgemental themselves. 'Tiny socially conditioned minds' is one such horribly judgemental comment.

    It's only me who's accusing him of being judgemental and I didn't make that comment. We're different posters with different opinions.


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    #150
    Siuin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,659 ✭✭✭Siuin


    otto_26 wrote: »
    It's not any more dangerous it's about getting to know if that person is someone you want to sleep with... What happens if someone tells you on the third date they have HIV? will you still sleep with them then? Or would you regret sleeping with them?

    What if your long term boyfriend or husband sleeps with a prostitute or has an affair and contracts aids?


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    #151
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    otto_26 wrote: »
    It's not any more dangerous it's about getting to know if that person is someone you want to sleep with... What happens if someone tells you on the third date they have HIV? will you still sleep with them then? Or would you regret sleeping with them?

    Huh?

    What if you slept with the person on the 50th date but he told you he'd HIV 10 years later?

    You stated that jumping into bed with someone immediately was dangerous which implies that waiting is less so. I'm asking you why.


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