Playing Hard to Get

Siuin

I really don’t understand it. What is it with some guys' need to feel as if they should really have to work hard and suffer in order to sleep with a woman for her to be of any value? I just fail to understand the merits of sending a guy back home after a great date with a severe case of blue balls when we both clearly want to have sex. Hell, at times I think it’s best to cut to the chase early in order to clear the sexual tension so that you can really get to know the person without your judgement being clouded by the overwhelming urge to ride them senseless.

A male friend of mine (well, I use the term loosely as he’s really a ‘facebook friend’, which is an entirely different matter altogether) recently told me that I should have played harder to get in order to retain the attention of a guy I was dating, but to be honest I’m simply far too direct a person and feel that it’s a little immature to have to revert to such childish tactics to keep a guy keen.

If I like someone, why should I need to fúck with his head and build up this persona of a Woman of Mystery in order to keep his attention? After all, when we eventually do have sex, aren't we back to where we started anyway? It’s just sex; it’s a natural urge just like any other, so why put the pússy on a pedestal and build it up to be something it’s not? I wouldn't even call it a Madonna/Whore complex – just a matter of some guys feeling as if they always need to hunt for their food and if they don’t get a chance to stalk and kill it, then it can’t have been all that tasty to begin with.

Just… why?!

**Timbuk2**

Playing hard to summarise

Siuin

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

Playing hard to summarise

Sorry for making you read :P
In a nutshell: playing hard to get- why do we complicate matters?!

Real Life

if girls play hard to get i just wont even bother trying. i hate that bull****.

Wacker The Attacker

Siuin wrote: »

Sorry for making you read :P
In a nutshell: playing hard to get- why do we complicate matters?!

Because some women treat their fannies and arses like national treasures.

PizzamanIRL

PM sent.

1ZRed

Siuin wrote: »

Sorry for making you read :P
In a nutshell: playing hard to get- why do we complicate matters?!

Why are you over thinking things instead of getting on with it and doing what you like?

Fvck what everyone else "seems" to do.

Dangerous Man

I've never been one to engage in or with this kind of thing. It's pathetic and a waste of time.

BBDBB

cats and laser pens


sometimes the journey is more fun than the destination

Siuin

1ZRed wrote: »

Why are you over thinking things instead of getting on with it and doing what you like?

Fvck what everyone else "seems" to do.

Because it seems to have turned into a pretty common frame of mind with the guys I've been dating (although to be fair, quite a few of them have been Middle Eastern, which may have coloured their opinions somewhat). It just drives me crazy. So many guys I've met seem to think this way, even if it's often on a subconscious level. I thought we'd left this archaic Virgin Mary bullshít behind us years ago.

Jogathon

Well if i really like a guy then I prefer to wait a few weeks because I like it to be meaningful. If I don't care and just want a bit of fun then I'll put out and enjoy.

Sorcha16

Maybe some people just like to build a rapport with someone before jumping into bed with them and is nothing to do with playing hard to get

jubella

I think some girls might just want to get to know a guy better before sleeping with them. I've never known anyone to withhold sex just to keep someone interested.

BASHIR

There's nothing sexier than wanting what you cant have. Thrill of the chase and all that.

Siuin

Meaningful I could possibly understand- can't say I've ever done it, but whatever floats your boat. To me, I know pretty early if we're going to hit it off or not and I see sex as a means of getting closer to the person, as opposed to the end result.

partyguinness

This 'playing hard to get' nonsense is for immature kids and those who think that "If I put out on the first date, I am a slag and he won't want to see me again."

This is the type of crap spouted by Womens/Girly mags and fills womens heads full of crap and notions. Depressingly too many women belleve that ****...:mad:

Siuin

BASHIR wrote: »

There's nothing sexier than wanting what you cant have. Thrill of the chase and all that.

That's what pisses me off.
And once the chase is over and you've gotten what you want... what then? Move on to the next moving target?

jubella

Siuin wrote: »

Meaningful I could possibly understand- can't say I've ever done it, but whatever floats your boat. To me, I know pretty early if we're going to hit it off or not and I see sex as a means of getting closer to the person, as opposed to the end result.

What if the other person sees it as the end result? Some might wait to protect themselves from that.

BASHIR

Siuin wrote: »

That's what pisses me off.
And once the chase is over and you've gotten what you want... what then? Move on to the next moving target?

Not what I meant at all, sorry that also sounds very rapey. Just meant if you hold off for a couple of dates the actual tension is amazing and when it does happen its usually unreal. just my experience

Siuin

jubella wrote: »

What if the other person sees it as the end result? Some might wait to protect themselves from that.

Unless he's slapping a ring on your finger, no situation is for certain. He might have simply seen it all as the 'thrill of the chase' and be done with you after you've invested a load of feelings and emotions into the situation. Neither option carries guarantees.

1ZRed

Siuin wrote: »

Because it seems to have turned into a pretty common frame of mind with the guys I've been dating (although to be fair, quite a few of them have been Middle Eastern, which may have coloured their opinions somewhat). It just drives me crazy. So many guys I've met seem to think this way, even if it's often on a subconscious level. I thought we'd left this archaic Virgin Mary bullshít behind us years ago.

Sorcha16 wrote: »

Maybe some people just like to build a rapport with someone before jumping into bed with them and is nothing to do with playing hard to get

I think this sums it up pretty well. A lot of people might still like to hang around a bit if they feel like it might lead to something more substantial, which is fine.

I see the playing hard to get game as pure bullshit, but I don't see anything wrong with taking it a bit easy either, if that's what the person wants. Granted it's in reason, and not the case of both people being mad for it and one person pulling back out of sheer "hard to get". Then it's back to being bullshit again.

MagicSean

Well if it's easy to get a guy might start wondering how many other people have had it. And if you see it as just an itch to scratch then are you likely to get someone else to scratch it when the guy isn't around?

Siuin

MagicSean wrote: »

Well if it's easy to get a guy might start wondering how many other people have had it. And if you see it as just an itch to scratch then are you likely to get someone else to scratch it when the guy isn't around?

Gotta love the double standards of the whole situation, eh? "Oooh loose women can't be trusted" etc etc -- I have very high standards when it comes to partners. However, if I feel a connection with a person, why should I feel the need to turn down sex just to make a point?

jubella

Siuin wrote: »

Unless he's slapping a ring on your finger, no situation is for certain. He might have simply seen it all as the 'thrill of the chase' and be done with you after you've invested a load of feelings and emotions into the situation. Neither option carries guarantees.

True, but you'll have a better idea of someone you've known a little while. This is assuming one person is looking for something more, though. If both just want to do the deed then I see no reason to wait.

MagicSean

Siuin wrote: »

Gotta love the double standards of the whole situation, eh? "Oooh loose women can't be trusted" etc etc -- I have very high standards when it comes to partners. However, if I feel a connection with a person, why should I feel the need to turn down sex just to make a point?

You asked a question I gave you an answer. If you dont want an answer then don't ask a question. Personally I couldn't give a dam who you screw or why.

Remmy

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Because some women treat their fannies and arses like national treasures.

It's like they wrap a nicholas cage around it. :rolleyes:

Siuin

MagicSean wrote: »

You asked a question I gave you an answer. If you dont want an answer then don't ask a question. Personally I couldn't give a dam who you screw or why.

It's a back and forth debate- try not to get so pissy about it. I was talking about double standards against women in general, not just you.

jubella wrote: »

True, but you'll have a better idea of someone you've known a little while. This is assuming one person is looking for something more, though. If both just want to do the deed then I see no reason to wait.

I can understand this if someone feels the need for security, I think it's just sad that spontaneity and simply having sex because you like the person needs to suffer for the sake of giving a 'good' impression.

RMD

I have no problem with a girl who genuinely doesn't want to put out until she knows the guy, but I hate nothing more than a little cock tease who leads men on and then wont put out just to mess with their heads.

YFlyer

Jogathon wrote: »

Well if i really like a guy then I prefer to wait a few weeks because I like it to be meaningful. If I don't care and just want a bit of fun then I'll put out and enjoy.

If there is kissing and fondling, with perhaps oral sex, during those few weeks I wouldn't mind so much.

darrcow

ive never played hard to get. so lets cut to the chase whose wants a shag

Celly Smunt

I blame the fella's who beat around the bush.

and single mothers.