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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**
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Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,070 Mod ✭✭✭✭
Join Date:Posts: 11290
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Really bad form unless it was a mix up as I hope it was ... can happen eg meeting at mc Donald's in Grafton Street ( there's two! )Just back from town after being left waiting an hour waiting on a first coffee date woman to turn up............
Just brings me back to what I posted before about mobile numbers. If you are prepared to meet someone you should be prepared to swap numbers even if it only the day before the meetup. Personally I live an hour of so bus ride from the City Centre so I have texted to say I was leaving and cu there kinda thing. It reassures the girl that she won't be stood up!
Hard luck again. Let us know if she makes contact. There are lovely ppl out there sometimes it just takes time ;-)0 -
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Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,070 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 11290
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That's the worst thing with this online dating lark. You've expectations to try and meet. It's too much pressure. I'd rather just meet someone in a pub or a club, so they know what you're about from the get-go.
I think the reason most people are on OD is because the above ideal scenario tends not to happen that often
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I think the reason most people are on OD is because the above ideal scenario tends not to happen that often
Me neither dude, but still - the whole expectation thing is just too much pressure for me. I'd much prefer to take my chances in a pub or club. Just gotta work on building up the old confidence. My mantra is whatever you would give yourself out of 10 (Let's say 5), always act as if you're two points higher. That way, you're not being cocky - just confident. Confidence is really attractive to women and I find it's much easier to do it in a social environment like a pub, than somewhere quiet in a one on one scenario.
I dunno, I'm on that POF website anyway... But I don't really get that many messages on there, so I'm just not too bothered with it for the moment. A picture can only tell so much about you, and unless you're quite attractive - it's hard to sell yourself with a few pictures.0 -
I'm guessing you are under 30 and have no baggage?I think the reason most people are on OD is because the above ideal scenario tends not to happen that often
Me neither dude, but still - the whole expectation thing is just too much pressure for me. I'd much prefer to take my chances in a pub or club. Just gotta work on building up the old confidence. My mantra is whatever you would give yourself out of 10 (Let's say 5), always act as if you're two points higher. That way, you're not being cocky - just confident. Confidence is really attractive to women and I find it's much easier to do it in a social environment like a pub, than somewhere quiet in a one on one scenario.
I dunno, I'm on that POF website anyway... But I don't really get that many messages on there, so I'm just not too bothered with it for the moment. A picture can only tell so much about you, and unless you're quite attractive - it's hard to sell yourself with a few pictures.0 -
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Me neither dude, but still - the whole expectation thing is just too much pressure for me. I'd much prefer to take my chances in a pub or club. Just gotta work on building up the old confidence. My mantra is whatever you would give yourself out of 10 (Let's say 5), always act as if you're two points higher. That way, you're not being cocky - just confident. Confidence is really attractive to women and I find it's much easier to do it in a social environment like a pub, than somewhere quiet in a one on one scenario.
I dunno, I'm on that POF website anyway... But I don't really get that many messages on there, so I'm just not too bothered with it for the moment. A picture can only tell so much about you, and unless you're quite attractive - it's hard to sell yourself with a few pictures.
Are you suggesting that online daters are low on confidence?
To be honest, I'd give myself an 8.5, so by that logic I'd be over your limit
As I said, the ideal scenario would be everyone out meeting people in bars and clubs - but out of the couples that you know, how many met in bars? I'm guessing not many, and certainly not most. OD allows you to meet a much wider pool of people who you would otherwise never meet. Just another avenue, I'd never rule out the traditional options either!0 -
Are you suggesting that online daters are low on confidence? To be honest, I'd give myself an 8.5, so by that logic I'd be over your limit
Go Tom, you big stud muffin Nah I'm not at all. Just a personal anecdote. I found that when I thought higher of myself, I found it easier to engage with women.As I said, the ideal scenario would be everyone out meeting people in bars and clubs - but out of the couples that you know, how many met in bars? I'm guessing not many, and certainly not most. OD allows you to meet a much wider pool of people who you would otherwise never meet. Just another avenue, I'd never rule out the traditional options either!
Ah yeah - I just don't like the expectations thing.. It's really awkward when you first meet. Just not really for me I guess. Although in saying that, I've met a few girls through the internet.0 -
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Go Tom, you big stud muffin Nah I'm not at all. Just a personal anecdote. I found that when I thought higher of myself, I found it easier to engage with women.
river-atom Ha no, not sure bout that now. I did get told I was an '8' once, that was nice.Ah yeah - I just don't like the expectations thing.. It's really awkward when you first meet. Just not really for me I guess. Although in saying that, I've met a few girls through the internet.
Do you think it's awkward? Why is that? I don't see it as any different to meeting anyone new, wherever it may be. I guess the first few times it might be a little, but after a few first online dates, I just keep an open mind and expectations firmly on an even keel.0 -
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I've been messaging someone from pof for a few weeks now and he had suggested going on a date which I agreed to. He seemed nice and we had a good bit in common so I was feeling optimistic. I should have known when he was saying things like "I'll come back to you with a plan for the date", instead of just suggesting a day and time. I just got a message saying he'd met someone else from the site and after one date he felt it might go somewhere so that was that. He also said if it didn't work out and I was still on the site, he'd be in touch. All of which made me feel a bit lousy
I know you have to take the good with the bad when it comes to online dating but it's not always easy. 0 -
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So I haven't replied to any that I didn't fancy the look of them or didn't respond to the usual "Hi how are you?" so by being a cow and ignoring most messages I filtered out a lot of mails.
This is something that pees me off a bit to be honest. If you meet someone in real life, and are introduced, the first thing you will say is "Hi, how are you?". Obviously, I have just been browsing women's profiles on POF
but many of them won't reply to "hi, how are you". It appears they would prefer men to jump through hoops and come out with something unbelievably witty and profound in other to get a reply, which, if it happened in real life would just be odd....:pac: 0 -
Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,070 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 11290
This is something that pees me off a bit to be honest. If you meet someone in real life, and are introduced, the first thing you will say is "Hi, how are you?". Obviously, I have just been browsing women's profiles on POF but many of them won't reply to "hi, how are you". It appears they would prefer men to jump through hoops and come out with something unbelievably witty and profound in other to get a reply, which, if it happened in real life would just be odd....:pac:
I never respond to "hi how are you" messages either. It is not a real life introduction, it is a dating site. You have an entire profile full of things about the woman in question to read and ask her about. Presumably at least one of these is something you have in common with her or you like the sound of, which you could mention in your first mail without writing an essay.
Some guys will send a "hi how are you" to umpteen women who happen to be online, just because they are online - the real life equivalent of shouting "howye" at a roomful of women hoping one of them will talk to you afterwards :rolleyes:0 -
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Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,070 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 11290
Whereas 99.9% of mails I get on POF from women are exactly that: "Hi, how are you?".
I totally disagree with you miamee. "Hi, how are you" is nothing like "howye". If I wanted to do something like that online I'd write something cheesey like "what's the craic" or "well, how's things".
I think you are missing the point. Maybe sharper's analogy is better explained, though essentially the same 0
This discussion has been closed.
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