The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

Tchaikovsky

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

Don't think this way please - self-sabotage is the enemy of dating.

For all the superficial trappings of wealth you can bet your hot girl has the same insecurities as everyone else.

Just get in touch, arrange to see her again and just keep doing what you're doing minus the internal negative vibes. You know it makes sense.

Well I was really looking forward to seeing her again and I know that material wealth means very little, but since the no reply I've been drawing my own conclusions.
It only takes 10 seconds to reply.
Shall I phone her just to get a definitive answer?

Mr_Spaceman

Tchaikovsky wrote: »

Well I was really looking forward to seeing her again and I know that material wealth means very little, but since the no reply I've been drawing my own conclusions.
It only takes 10 seconds to reply.
Shall I phone her just to get a definitive answer?

If you think she's worth it, then yes.

Better to ring her than wonder 'what if' for a long, long time afterwards, filling your head with futile self-recrimination.

If you don't someone else will. She thinks you're a hottie!

He who dares, wins!

Daveysil15

I've been chatting to a nice girl all week on OKC. She seems very keen and we have a lot in common. I suggested we go on a date this weekend. She said she didn't know enough about me yet, and asked me some more questions. I answered her questions and gave her a good description about myself and my hobbies. She replied with a similar message telling me pretty much everything about her. Then at the end of her message she just wrote, "have a nice weekend."

I'm not sure what to make of that. This has happened to me a couple of times now. I wonder am I been too pushy? I mean we've been chatting candidly for a week and I'm running out of things to say to her at this stage. How long do you guys chat with someone before asking them out on a date? Should I have waited 2 or 3 weeks? I would have thought a week would have been enough. Maybe I'm wrong.

Honey-ec

Daveysil15 wrote: »

How long do you guys chat with someone before asking them out on a date? Should I have waited 2 or 3 weeks? I would have thought a week would have been enough. Maybe I'm wrong.

A week is definitely enough. Sounds like she could be a bit unsure about the whole OD thing in general and dragging her feet. Or she could be just one of those weirdos who's only interested in collecting penpals and has no intention of ever actually meeting anyone.

Daveysil15

Honey-ec wrote: »

A week is definitely enough. Sounds like she could be a bit unsure about the whole OD thing in general and dragging her feet. Or she could be just one of those weirdos who's only interested in collecting penpals and has no intention of ever actually meeting anyone.

Yeah either way she seems very reluctant to meet. She said she hasn't been on any dates yet.

miamee

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Yeah either way she seems very reluctant to meet. She said she hasn't been on any dates yet.

The idea of being out all evening with a stranger is probably quite scary if she has never met anyone "from the internet" before. I remember my first few OD dates, I was petrified and a bag of nerves. I actually ruined a date with a great guy who I really, really liked and who liked me just because of nerves and I'm still kicking myself!

If you haven't already, maybe suggest a coffee date first and tell her it'll just be to say hello really and see what you think of each other.

Unfortunately as Honey-ec said, there are some people who are just happy to chat online forever and never meet up. If she is one of those, move along.

stargazer 68

miamee wrote: »

If you haven't already, maybe suggest a coffee date first and tell her it'll just be to say hello really and see what you think of each other.

.

Yep do this. Even just an hour at lunchtime - then you can decide if you want a 'proper' date.

miamee

So the "model" fella I was chatting to and supposed to meet last night...the name in his username is not his real name (well neither is mine so that's ok). He works in a Centra. Model my ar$e. Will have to ask for a real pic of him next, lol. The neck of some people!

Armaghmagic

Panthro wrote: »

That's probably not a good idea.

Ah you knew I was only joking Panthro......puts the fear of God in me when I see that BOLD writing

wobblyknees

miamee wrote: »

So the "model" fella I was chatting to and supposed to meet last night...the name in his username is not his real name (well neither is mine so that's ok). He works in a Centra. Model my ar$e. Will have to ask for a real pic of him next, lol. The neck of some people!

www.areyousurprised.com?

miamee

wobblyknees wrote: »

www.areyousurprised.com?

Not a bit But he is maintaining that he models part-time! :rolleyes:

wobblyknees

miamee wrote: »

wobblyknees wrote: »

www.areyousurprised.com?

Not a bit But he is maintaining that he models part-time! :rolleyes:

Maybe he is referring to his extensive collection of play dough?

miamee

wobblyknees wrote: »

Maybe he is referring to his extensive collection of play dough?

Or his quiff :pac::pac:

Mr_Spaceman

miamee wrote: »

So the "model" fella I was chatting to and supposed to meet last night...the name in his username is not his real name (well neither is mine so that's ok). He works in a Centra. Model my ar$e. Will have to ask for a real pic of him next, lol. The neck of some people!

"Model my arse" :pac:

Sometimes you've just got to laugh... well I did anyway. Sorry.

At least you managed to bodyswerve this OD smoothie!

miamee

Mr_Spaceman wrote: »

"Model my arse" :pac:

Sometimes you've just got to laugh... well I did anyway. Sorry.

At least you managed to bodyswerve this OD smoothie!

Sure you'd have to laugh he is still hanging in there but my willingness to meet up with him has diminished significantly. Ah well.

Galvasean

miamee wrote: »

Not a bit But he is maintaining that he models part-time! :rolleyes:

You'd never know. He just might be. A lot of 'arty/media' types have to slug it out in woeful part time jobs before they make the big time. I work in the film industry myself and still have the same crummy part time job I've had since college. The vast majority of people I've worked with in said industry have to subsidies themselves with another job too. This has always been the case, but with the event of the recession media/art work has been hit particularly hard so it is harder than ever to make a self-sufficient living from it alone.
Anybody making such claims should be willing to offer a fair bit of proof to support their claims (anyone working in that industry will have a showreel of some description). If they can't produce one or some form of proof for their body of work then chances are they are messers.
It's also worth pointing out in one's OD profile that you are balancing out two jobs. I'm very up front about this in my profile (many aren't) and I'm fairly sure it does me more harm than good in relation to getting dates. I'd say I'd get a lot more if I was a kickass filmmaker in my profile as opposed to a part time filmmaker, part time minimum wage peon. On the flipside, people would discover such a deception soon enough so i really don't see the point in trying to hide it.

miamee

I don't completely disbelieve him actually, I just think it's funny that he failed to mention on his profile that he also works elsewhere. Then again, maybe he reckons it's none of anyone's business. He says he has a portfolio, etc.

Sure so long as he has an income, what do I care?

Esoteric_

miamee wrote: »

I don't completely disbelieve him actually, I just think it's funny that he failed to mention on his profile that he also works elsewhere. Then again, maybe he reckons it's none of anyone's business. He says he has a portfolio, etc.

Sure so long as he has an income, what do I care?

There's a pretty simple wya to find out - ask to see some of his portfolio pics.

Piliger

Getting tired of OD this week ... Last week I met a nice lady and had an enjoyable coffee followed by a few hours in the pub. But when I messaged her the following day and said I enjoyed the evening her response was "i did not find anything bad from you yet".... not a single nice or positive thing to say! I didn't follow through needless to say.

Today I get a message from quite a nice looking lady on Badoo. I quote the whole message: "hi hows thing for u on this??" Now she is attractive, but what kind of message is this ??? and in one of her photos she is standing beside someone a LOT better looking ........ jeeez. If I were a man sending this message I would get slated for not making an effort........

Larianne

there.are.people.of.both.sexes.who.do.annoying.things.on.internet.dating.sites.

riveratom

Galvasean wrote: »

You'd never know. He just might be. A lot of 'arty/media' types have to slug it out in woeful part time jobs before they make the big time. I work in the film industry myself and still have the same crummy part time job I've had since college. The vast majority of people I've worked with in said industry have to subsidies themselves with another job too. This has always been the case, but with the event of the recession media/art work has been hit particularly hard so it is harder than ever to make a self-sufficient living from it alone.
Anybody making such claims should be willing to offer a fair bit of proof to support their claims (anyone working in that industry will have a showreel of some description). If they can't produce one or some form of proof for their body of work then chances are they are messers.
It's also worth pointing out in one's OD profile that you are balancing out two jobs. I'm very up front about this in my profile (many aren't) and I'm fairly sure it does me more harm than good in relation to getting dates. I'd say I'd get a lot more if I was a kickass filmmaker in my profile as opposed to a part time filmmaker, part time minimum wage peon. On the flipside, people would discover such a deception soon enough so i really don't see the point in trying to hide it.

Wait till you hit the big time dude and then you won't even need to be trying your luck on online dating sites!

Daveysil15

I came across a female model on OKC. She's only using the site to promote her modeling and get people to like her facebook fanpage. She has clearly no intention of dating. Maybe I should report her.

magneticimpulse

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I've been chatting to a nice girl all week on OKC. She seems very keen and we have a lot in common. I suggested we go on a date this weekend. She said she didn't know enough about me yet, and asked me some more questions. I answered her questions and gave her a good description about myself and my hobbies. She replied with a similar message telling me pretty much everything about her. Then at the end of her message she just wrote, "have a nice weekend."

I'm not sure what to make of that. This has happened to me a couple of times now. I wonder am I been too pushy? I mean we've been chatting candidly for a week and I'm running out of things to say to her at this stage. How long do you guys chat with someone before asking them out on a date? Should I have waited 2 or 3 weeks? I would have thought a week would have been enough. Maybe I'm wrong.

I replied to the 1st email my ex sent...I just knew from his profile we would have lots in common and I suggested meeting up. His second email he entered his phone number and i texted to arrange to meet up. Ok looking back maybe it met me look too eager...but it wasnt that way at all. (Maybe it was the wrong approach but I took the chance).

From previous experience, I knew I didn't want to waste time emailing back and forth and building a different impression of the person in my head compared to what they might actually be like. So I think if someone is interested they will go for it?? Although...I'm a direct person and I get straight to the point. It worked quite well living abroad, but I find Irish guys like to take things very slow and are very cautious!

sffc

Des Bishop "Irish people don't date - they shift! ' - nothing in this thread disproves his statement :-)

magneticimpulse

sffc wrote: »

Des Bishop "Irish people don't date - they shift! ' - nothing in this thread disproves his statement :-)

I'd be happy to go along with that statement

Galvasean

riveratom wrote: »

Wait till you hit the big time dude and then you won't even need to be trying your luck on online dating sites!

I'd rather find someone before that happens so they'll like me for being me. The money grabbing harpies can wait.

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I came across a female model on OKC. She's only using the site to promote her modeling and get people to like her facebook fanpage. She has clearly no intention of dating. Maybe I should report her.

If that is the case I reckon you should report it. Profiles like that just clog OD sites up and make it harder for everyone.

wobblyknees

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I came across a female model on OKC. She's only using the site to promote her modeling and get people to like her facebook fanpage. She has clearly no intention of dating. Maybe I should report her.

Whats her username?

Galvasean

wobblyknees wrote: »

Whats her username?

Better PM it. You aren't allowed post usernames here.

Daveysil15

wobblyknees wrote: »

Whats her username?

I can't remember. She's not showing up in my matches or history. That's one thing I don't like about OKC, no decent search function. Answering questions to acquire matches is a bit silly I think. I like the way on POF you can search by county and age.

Armaghmagic

Just back from a rather successful date.

Started with a game of bowling (which ended in a 114 point a piece draw) followed by a few drinks and a bag of chips on the way home.....simple and effective!