LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Sir Pompous Righteousness

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

I have figured out the key to beating my depression is improving my self worth.

I have come to realise that having a girlfriend, having friends etc, is not going to happen overnight and there are other important smaller steps that I have to take first in order to improve my self worth as a person and improve myself as a person in general.

After reading some of your posts, all I can say is if you're still anxious about loosing your virginity, a one night stand will only make you feel more depressed inside and actually reduce your sense of self worth. That's from my experience, though I can't say I've had many one night stands but they certainly don't make me feel good inside. I certainly don't feel proud of them. I understand though that everyone feels different on these things. Stick to trying to get a girlfriend as in the long run it'll be more meaningful and fulfilling in more ways than one. Also, having a girlfriend/boyfriend isn't all just about the sex. In my opinion, sex is overrated. I hate how sometimes society perceives loosing your virginity as a coming of age thing, it shouldn't be.

But I think your main goal at the minute should be to become more independent and confident in yourself. It'll be A LOT easier for you to develop relationships once you get that sorted out. After all, relationships are hard and need the time and effort. That list of priorities that you've written is an excellent place to start.

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

These are very basic of short of goals now, but they are very important to me if I am to make myself a better, more attractive person that becomes more readily availible for a potential social life/relationships.

If you want to stick to improving your sense of self worth, I think you should stop feeling like you owe it to society to be "better" or "more attractive". Be content with who you are first and foremost.

If it makes you feel happier to complete all the stuff in that list of yours and to developed a greater sense of achievement by doing so, then I say go for it but don't feel as though it's something you owe to anyone else in the process. Also, don't stress yourself out about getting everything on the list finished in the time frame you've set yourself.

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

I mean its embarresing, but yes I can't cook, can't clean, can't iron and I'm 26.

Listen, I know some guys around 30 years of age who can't make a proper butter sandwich let alone iron a handkerchief, so you're certainly not alone.

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

I've recently gone back to college to repeat my a levels so I can get into Medicine or Dentistry (I already hold a degree in Electrical and Electronic Engineering). I would love to achieve such a high career, but realise its going to take a lot of work.

But I realise that the only way I'm going to beat my depression as I say is to improve my quality of life in general and improve my self worth as a person, which will then give me a better opportunity to change my social life and relationships.

I think the very fact that you already have a degree in a very hard subject and that you now want to pursue a degree is another very difficult subject shows a lot of will, determination and intelligence. You're already worth a lot more than you think you are.

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

I still don't think I'm good enough to get a girlfriend, or friends, but who knows, but I've moved on from thinking about these things as much now and have to decided to concentrate on improving my self worth as a person at least first, be it a new diet, clothes, hobbies etc.

Again, you're already worth a lot more than you think you are so don't feel as though you're not good enough to make friends or have relationships.

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

To those who are suffering from depression, what are your goals you have set yourself and techniques to try improve you're self worth and image as a person? I would be glad to hear any of your experiances.:)

For me, I have terrible social anxiety and stress issues. Recently, I was also diagnosed with psoriasis on my face and scalp and it gets triggered whenever I go through bad bouts of anxiety and, in hindsight, makes the feelings of anxiety worse. Only recently, about 3 months ago, I just decided enough was enough and went to get it treated (the psoriasis) and now that it's better I feel more confident and less anxious in social situations.

I still have a bit to go though to get all my anxiety issues sorted out. I'm overweight too so that's another thing that makes me more anxious in public. I'm confident that if I loose more weight, I'll feel even better in myself. So, I think it's all a matter of taking baby steps to fully improve. I've learned trying to get all your issues sorted out at once can stress you out too as it can seem so overwhelming, and stress of course is one of the big triggers for depression.

Nono1980

This is such an interesting thread & one I can totally identify with!

greenpilot

Hi Folks,,

Wrote this last night on the back of this amazing Thread....

http://youtu.be/iVLIoqUncCA

thank you.

Millicent

greenpilot wrote: »

Hi Folks,,

Wrote this last night on the back of this amazing Thread....

http://youtu.be/iVLIoqUncCA

thank you.

Really nice, lovely bluesy feel to it and you've a lovely voice. Thanks for posting that.

DeVore

Millicent wrote: »

Really nice, lovely bluesy feel to it and you've a lovely voice. Thanks for posting that.

Wow, fnck me, thats brilliant. I *love* it.
Can you write out the lyrics?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVLIoqUncCA

Thank you, that was amazing.

Tom.

DeVore

steddyeddy wrote: »

How are you doing DeVore? Are you feeling better since you started the thread?

This has to go down as the most exhausting, intense, emotional, confusing, brilliant year of my life.

In answer to your question, yes, I'm definitely better, much better than before, but it took cracking a few eggs to even start making the omelette. Funny, this thread has given me so much more back that its been part of that journey
There have been ups and downs (I had to really struggle a few weekends ago not to just give up and climb into bed) but I'm developing tools to handle those times now and I'm glad to say I managed.

The good news is that I'm a lot more at peace with myself and the world now. I dunno if I would say I'm content but I can control the whirlwind a little more and feel the joy in simple things I never did before. Its a process though... mental cleanliness is like physical cleanliness, you have to maintain it or you develop all sorts of nasty stuff.

Drumpot

greenpilot wrote: »

Hi Folks,,

Wrote this last night on the back of this amazing Thread....

http://youtu.be/iVLIoqUncCA

thank you.

Wonderful, lovely song . . As Devore said, could you let us know more about the lyrics ?

Savage Tyrant

This is a very motivational thread. Thanks to ALL the contributers,

A large part of my depression was my irregular sleep patterns. It can take me between 45mins to 2 hours to actually fall asleep once I get into bed.
I'm currently on Valdoxan-50 and they definitely make it easier to fall over to sleep these days.
I have to admit though, my moods can still get very dark. Usually acompanied my a raging tight knot in my stomach and an EXPLOSIVE temper.

My girlfirend is the most considerate loving person in my life and I love her to bits.....so why then when I'm in a low mood do I seem to almost WANT to drag her down with me? Why should she be happy when I'm not? ... Is that the depression or am I just deep down not a very nice person?

Drumpot

Havent been in this thread for sometime but do check in regularly . .

Suppose Ive been feeling ok - good alot of the times since I went back on medication . . Business is going well (I work for myself) so thats taken a bit of the pressure off . . Also, stopped a few bad habits which have given me a sense of control over my life . .

In the back of my head Im sort of worried a bit, because I tend to have bouts of depression. weeks/months where I might feel awful every days and then feel ok for weeks. . Its like my body is taking a break from feeling like sh(t, but will eventually revert back to same sometime. .

I watched a movie called "take shelter" ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1675192/ ). Its about scitzophrenia but thinking back on it, I think it has very similar connections to feeling depressed. I wont give any of it away, but I feel that its superb movie at trying to show how what happens in one persons head can be so real and make them feel so out of touch with a world that is extremely unsympathetic and unforgiving. Incidentally, I could relate to the dreams that the character has, that change the way they feel about certain aspects of their life. I have crazy dreams very regularly and they can certainly have a huge baring on how my day starts!

Just a few personal views . . I havent always found councelling worked, but never had any negative reactions by trying (Ive been on/off going to councelling for over 15 years) to talk about how I feel.

I have also had mixed responses to medication, but thankfully (touch wood) my current medication seems to be helping.

Feeling of self worth (or lack of it) is a major problem I have. Alot of people rely on me and I know that I generally always try to help or do right by them, but I can never do enough to make myself feel good about myself. Even when I do something great, I think about what else I could of done and focus on that instead of whatever small/big achievement/happiness I have brough for others.

Each day is a lottery . When I wake up I know I might feel awful or ok (seldom, if ever, great). I try to find mental breaks during the bad days . . These can be 1 second or 1 hour emotional breaks to try and relax. I might goto the gym (love taking deep breaths and relaxing in the steam room) or pet my dogs/rabbits . .

Lastly, no matter how bad I feel, I try to remind myself that while it might feel like its the end of my world, its another day tomorrow and maybe a newer, better world will exist . .

Over the past year, being unemployed, my anxieties started coming back and I started feeling like I did before. Until I realized I couldn't take it anymore and had to make a change. Thankfully I've been accepted to do a course, which means a move away from where I am now, and will hopefully help me change things around. Lord knows that I need it.

NegativeCreep

You know the way when you read symptoms of depression (probably not wise to do :rolleyes: ) on the internet, it always says "difficulty or inability to sleep." Does anyone else feel like all they can do is sleep? I literally would stay in bed all day, every day if I could. It's probably been said already but this thread is too long to read

NegativeCreep

NegativeCreep wrote: »

You know the way when you read symptoms of depression (probably not wise to do :rolleyes: ) on the internet, it always says "difficulty or inability to sleep." Does anyone else feel like all they can do is sleep? I literally would stay in bed all day, every day if I could. It's probably been said already but this thread is too long to read

If there's one thing I don't do, it's read the symptoms of anything online. You start reading one thing and then you suddenly think you've got avian flu or whatever.

But yes, sometimes my problem is that I sleep far too much. Sometimes, when things were worse, I would have sleepless nights, because of various anxiety attacks that'd hit me. Though ever since I went on medication for 6 months, it has gotten much better.

who_me

NegativeCreep wrote: »

You know the way when you read symptoms of depression (probably not wise to do :rolleyes: ) on the internet, it always says "difficulty or inability to sleep." Does anyone else feel like all they can do is sleep? I literally would stay in bed all day, every day if I could. It's probably been said already but this thread is too long to read

Likewise. For me, bed was always a 'safe haven'. On some weekends, I'd drag myself out of bed at 2 or 3 in the afternoon. But since doing therapy, I've found it a lot easier to get up earlier. I'm no longer dreading getting out of bed so much. I've nearly always slept well though. I guess we're lucky in that sense!

NegativeCreep

Deleted User wrote: »

If there's one thing I don't do, it's read the symptoms of anything online. You start reading one thing and then you suddenly think you've got avian flu or whatever.

But yes, sometimes my problem is that I sleep far too much. Sometimes, when things were worse, I would have sleepless nights, because of various anxiety attacks that'd hit me. Though ever since I went on medication for 6 months, it has gotten much better.

I've tried not too, but when you look for information 9 times out of 10 the symptoms are listed on the site too and curiosity gets the better of me.

who_me wrote: »

Likewise. For me, bed was always a 'safe haven'. On some weekends, I'd drag myself out of bed at 2 or 3 in the afternoon. But since doing therapy, I've found it a lot easier to get up earlier. I'm no longer dreading getting out of bed so much. I've nearly always slept well though. I guess we're lucky in that sense!

I feel it's a safe haven too. During the summer there were days were I wouldn't get up, not even to eat, and just fester in my bad mood

greenpilot

Drumpot wrote: »

greenpilot wrote: »

Hi Folks,,

Wrote this last night on the back of this amazing Thread....

http://youtu.be/iVLIoqUncCA

thank you.

Wonderful, lovely song . . As Devore said, could you let us know more about the lyrics ?

My legs are like lead, I vaguely recall. Leaving my clothes in a heap down the hall. The phones off the hook, my mobile is off. The voice in my head says-hey sleep it off. The beautiful people stare right back at me..the perfect complexions the gleaming white teeth. They don't share my feelings, they don't share my thoughts, I wish I could tell them, tell them the state of my head.....the state of my head, the state of my head.

I sit in the park, the couples walk by, I struggle to fight back the tears in my eye. Why am I crying, why am I so sad. I can't tell my family they think that I'm mad. This building inertia, this worlds in HD, the high definition is confusing me, I don't want for money, I don't want for bread, I want some relief, relief from the state of my head....the state of my head.

Paul K.

NegativeCreep

Another question (sorry to be annoying you all)
If I go to see a counsellor but they can't help me and then they send me to a psychiatrist, do I have to pay for it? I reeeealy cant afford a psychiatrist

Millicent

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Another question (sorry to be annoying you all)
If I go to see a counsellor but they can't help me and then they send me to a psychiatrist, do I have to pay for it? I reeeealy cant afford a psychiatrist

It depends. They, or your GP, should be able to refer you to a HSE psychiatrist. There is a waiting list though.

rain10

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Another question (sorry to be annoying you all)
If I go to see a counsellor but they can't help me and then they send me to a psychiatrist, do I have to pay for it? I reeeealy cant afford a psychiatrist

take a look at www.pieta.ie
go to FAQ and it explains a lot about what you might be looking for, they have doctors and councellors

also remember there is a samaratins HQ in city center near the quays, they are lovely in there if you really just need to talk to someone

TeddyTedson

I've read a bit on this over the years, and often people seem to say that they are completely unrelated and self harming has a lot to do with control over your own life.
Anyway, without going into too much detail, my friend who has been suffering with depression I noticed has been self harming now too.
I didn't let them realise I had noticed this, but it was blatant.
There's a lot of other things going on too but I have a bad feeling. Very bad actually.
The more I think of it the more worrying the whole thing seems.

Seren_

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I've read a bit on this over the years, and often people seem to say that they are completely unrelated and self harming has a lot to do with control over your own life.
Anyway, without going into too much detail, my friend who has been suffering with depression I noticed has been self harming now too.
I didn't let them realise I had noticed this, but it was blatant.
There's a lot of other things going on too but I have a bad feeling. Very bad actually.
The more I think of it the more worrying the whole thing seems.

They're not necessarily related, but a lot of people who struggle with depression self-harm. It's not always about control, depends on the person. The best thing you can do for your friend is be there for them and let them know you're there if they need to talk - assuming that wouldn't put yourself in a dangerous position (sometimes if you have problems of your own it's safer not to start looking after someone else). Just keep in touch and try and do things to get them out of their head for a while; even little things like watching TV together or going for a walk might help.

TeddyTedson

Is it possible to ever really get over depression and be the same as you used to be or will it always last and you just have to find ways to deal with it?

No simple answer to that really, I'm sure it's possible in some cases. I know some people seem outwardly to me at least to be back to they were, others are on ADs and seem exactly as they were before they had any need for them.

Wee Willy Harris

Nothing funny about it.

If anyone is suffering, feeling listless, tired, confused; a cloudy head or maybe lacking energy.. or motivation by way of experiencing a loss of libido and maybe for the first time them let it be known you can beat this:

I am open, to PMs.

stateofflux

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Is it possible to ever really get over depression and be the same as you used to be or will it always last and you just have to find ways to deal with it?

reading karl jung really helped me with my depression. learning more about the source helped with me deal with it better and helped me gain more self confidence along the way. for me it never goes away but i can manage it so it does'nt affect my life as much.

Wibbs

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Is it possible to ever really get over depression and be the same as you used to be or will it always last and you just have to find ways to deal with it?

There are different types of the condition so individuals are gonna vary, but FWIW I know a good few who had a bout of depression in their late teens early twenties who never relapsed, including one person who had a major breakdown requiring hospitalisation.

Drumpot

Hey All, please see attached for those who may feel it might interest them .

http://www.aware.ie/help/education/awares_life_skills_programme/

I have signed up for it and am not sure what to expect, but am willing to try if it might help!

Drumpot

NegativeCreep wrote: »

You know the way when you read symptoms of depression (probably not wise to do :rolleyes: ) on the internet, it always says "difficulty or inability to sleep." Does anyone else feel like all they can do is sleep? I literally would stay in bed all day, every day if I could. It's probably been said already but this thread is too long to read

Its funny cause "difficulty with sleep" is certainly something I have had constant issues with but sometimes in an odd way. By that I mean I cant sleep at night, only at times when I need to be working or not sleeping! Its like when I need sleep I cant stop thinking about everything and when I need to be awake, my body/brain is working against me!

There is also the night factor. I enjoy the peace at night (on my own) and absoluteley hate mornings . . Really hate that time of the day.

And another thing, it's **** when something has been laying on you unbelievably heavily and when it's lifted off by the time you've sobered up from "celebrating" the same **** feeling from a month ago is there instead.

DeVore

Drumpot wrote: »

Hey All, please see attached for those who may feel it might interest them .

http://www.aware.ie/help/education/awares_life_skills_programme/

I have signed up for it and am not sure what to expect, but am willing to try if it might help!

Updated the first post with the link...

Btw, it barely matters whats in that course, your attitude of "I'm willing to try something to make myself better"... thats whats going to make the difference. Dont let that go, dont ever let that slip away

DeVore

Deleted User wrote: »

And another thing, it's **** when something has been laying on you unbelievably heavily and when it's lifted off by the time you've sobered up from "celebrating" the same **** feeling from a month ago is there instead.

Yes, I went through that too... the initial euphoria of the breakthrough can settle down and the realisation dawns on you that you have a lot of hard graft to put your head back together in a healthy manner. That feels like slipping back to square one, BUT ITS NOT. Not unless you let it happen. My counsellor said to me "The good news is, you'll get your emotions back... the bad news is, you'll get your emotions back".

Nothing worth doing is easy.

Believe in your own worth, take it a day at a time and trust that you deserve to stand tall and can achieve so much more than you know.


God I sound like Deepak Chopra!

Tom.