The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

ladylost

Armaghmagic wrote: »

I know this may depend on the person but when is it acceptable to ask someone to go steady with them.....after a certain amount of dates/time? Im seeing this girl on Thursday for our third date and really like her....just don't want to freak her out!

I think you have to judge it on the person. For me I rushed this before and the other person ran for the hills. That was after a couple of weeks and my 4/5 dates.

ladylost

I think I have a date tomorrow night. We have to agree time and venue yet so let's see. It's been a bit of a quick turn around so hope it works out ok!

Armaghmagic

Good luck on the date ladylost, the unexpected ones are always the best!

Thanks for the advice.....I just don't want her thinking I'm desperate but at the same time I don't want her doing a runner because she thinks I am not interested, because she had it on her profile that she is looking for a "long term" relationship!

Galvasean

ladylost wrote: »

I think you have to judge it on the person. For me I rushed this before and the other person ran for the hills. That was after a couple of weeks and my 4/5 dates.

You'd think after 5 dates somebody would have a good idea if they wanted to make it 'official' by then surely?

Larianne

Armaghmagic wrote: »

Thanks for the advice.....I just don't want her thinking I'm desperate but at the same time I don't want her doing a runner because she thinks I am not interest, because she had it on her profile that she is looking for a "long term" relationship!

But if you're going on dates with her and suggesting options for dates further down the line, that's obviously showing your intent to see her again.

SEEMagazine

If there were hard and fast rules for dating then there would be very few singletons right?

Do you have any idea the number of dates I embarked upon, all from OkC, with women who, on paper, appeared ideal matches? You can be sure that none of them went according to plan (very Count Duckula indeed!).

As I've mentioned before, the future Mrs SEE is someone who, again on paper, I should not get along with.

Oddly, after a few days of meeting in person we both knew where we stood, more or less (I admit to some second thoughts because of the distances), and here we now stand.

The nice teacher (of Spanish) who loved my correct use of grammar? She knew my ex and was doped to the gills on Xanax half the time.
Smart American politico? Turned out that she was cold-hearted.
I even dated someone I knew to be a drug user, because I thought she'd change... Silly me.

So, in short, all you can do is tough it out. We're all grown ups here right? We can rationalise the process I would hope... The number of dates will obviously depends on some happy medium of both sets of expectations. Don't feel bad if YOU are sexually attracted right away, nor should you feel bad if THEY appear as forward. If you, or they, are not ready, then just leave it for a while. It might be that patience leads to better things. Or it might throw matters into sharp relief.

And both me and herself wonder on a daily basis why all the regular posters haven't paired off by now... Ye've all gotten past the "getting to know someone" stage.

ladylost

Galvasean wrote: »

You'd think after 5 dates somebody would have a good idea if they wanted to make it 'official' by then surely?

Yeah you'd think so but I guess the answer was he knew he didn't want to make it official. I sure know how to pick them. Must be why I keep getting dumped by text!!

Galvasean

SEEMagazine wrote: »

I
And both me and herself wonder on a daily basis why all the regular posters haven't paired off by now... Ye've all gotten past the "getting to know someone" stage.

I've dated half of boards at this stage :pac:

That_Guy

Galvasean wrote: »

I've dated half of boards at this stage :pac:

Wait til you get a load of me?

SEEMagazine

That_Guy wrote: »

Wait til you get a load of me?

Are you The Joker?

That_Guy

SEEMagazine wrote: »

Are you The Joker?

Yes but don't tell anybody.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough cough cough*

LoTwan

I feel old when I hear the term "going steady". In my day LOL 6 weeks was the line. If you were still together after 6 weeks he could be called your boyfriend. Before that he was just a guy you were seeing.

With regards to exclusivity it should never be implied because that can leave you in a situation where you think you are exclusive & s/he is not thinking and therefore not acting the same way. How you choose to bring it up is your own business though

SEEMagazine wrote: »

And both me and herself wonder on a daily basis why all the regular posters haven't paired off by now... Ye've all gotten past the "getting to know someone" stage.

Some of us aren't cut out to be cougars, even if the victims are cute

Ankhyu

Armaghmagic wrote: »

I know this may depend on the person but when is it acceptable to ask someone to go steady with them.....after a certain amount of dates/time? Im seeing this girl on Thursday for our third date and really like her....just don't want to freak her out!

I'm gonna have to agree with Larianne. I know it varies from person to person but even if she is looking for a long term relationship she may not want to have things rushed either. Keep going on dates with her, she must know that you're interested by that alone

Esoteric_

If all the regs pair up, this thread would be nothing but couples bitching at each other. We're keeping things interesting by dating strangers!

Dolly Daydreams

Has anyone met up with someone that looked completely different to their online pic?

SEEMagazine

Dolly Daydreams wrote: »

Has anyone met up with someone that looked completely different to their online pic?

Not to bemoan my current situation (I'm not), but I did meet one Cork lass off OkC and her photos didn't even begin to do her justice.

In fact I can only assume that she was in possession of some fatal personality flaw because there is no way a girl who looked like her would ever be short of suitors.

Actually, since she decided she didn't like me I have to conclude that she was flawed. Mrs SEE got lucky there.

That_Guy

SEEMagazine wrote: »

Actually, since she decided she didn't like me I have to conclude that she was flawed. Mrs SEE got lucky there.

This will be worth the ban but you sound like a right dick.

Dolly Daydreams

SEEMagazine wrote: »

Not to bemoan my current situation (I'm not), but I did meet one Cork lass off OkC and her photos didn't even begin to do her justice.

In fact I can only assume that she was in possession of some fatal personality flaw because there is no way a girl who looked like her would ever be short of suitors.

Actually, since she decided she didn't like me I have to conclude that she was flawed. Mrs SEE got lucky there.

Well I actually meant as in couldn't possibly be the same person :O

Larianne

Dolly Daydreams wrote: »

Has anyone met up with someone that looked completely different to their online pic?

Yeah I have. He was hotter in real life.

Dolly Daydreams wrote: »

Well I actually meant as in couldn't possibly be the same person :O

Oh no. :cool: What happened there?!

SEEMagazine

Dolly Daydreams wrote: »

Well I actually meant as in couldn't possibly be the same person :O

Well in the sense that she looked infinitely better than her photos... There was a resemblance yes, but you'd have to know it was her in the profile pic to put a name to her.

But a profile where the person looked totally different? There was one American lass, yes... Obviously picked the most physically flattering picture, but her personality was as expected, which was fine by me. I wasn't fishing for a shag partner after all...

I know there's a story about a very radical photo discrepancy in here somewhere. Worth a read if only to have a chuckle. Author is a Clonmel legend.

Dolly Daydreams

Larianne wrote: »

Yeah I have. He was hotter in real life.



Oh no. :cool: What happened there?!

Have a date organised for Friday and he sent me a pic on Saturday which doesn't really resemble the online one which he said was a year old. Don't know if it's just the angle or what, but there's not much similarities :eek:

Dolly Daydreams

SEEMagazine wrote: »

Well in the sense that she looked infinitely better than her photos... There was a resemblance yes, but you'd have to know it was her in the profile pic to put a name to her.

But a profile where the person looked totally different? There was one American lass, yes... Obviously picked the most physically flattering picture, but her personality was as expected, which was fine by me. I wasn't fishing for a shag partner after all...

I know there's a story about a very radical photo discrepancy in here somewhere. Worth a read if only to have a chuckle. Author is a Clonmel legend.

Was just wondering if it happens much, people posting somebody else's photo

Larianne

Dolly Daydreams wrote: »

Have a date organised for Friday and he sent me a pic on Saturday which doesn't really resemble the online one which he said was a year old. Don't know if it's just the angle or what, but there's not much similarities :eek:

Could be just how it was taken?? I know with me, I can look terrible in photos or the odd one turns out alright. Just ask for another one to be sure if you're worried.

Mental Mickey

Dolly Daydreams wrote: »

Was just wondering if it happens much, people posting somebody else's photo

How can they do that?

Pembily

Mental Mickey wrote: »

How can they do that?

Very easily, Google photo, upload!! Galva has a link that you can check the photo through!

Dolly Daydreams

Pembily wrote: »

Very easily, Google photo, upload!! Galva has a link that you can check the photo through!

The tineye thing? Yup tried that on both pics, nothing comes back

Handsome Bob

Galvasean wrote: »

I've dated half of boards at this stage :pac:

So you're the boards hoe that I've been hearing so much about.

Esoteric_

So, is it normal to be asked out after exchanging about 4 or 5 messages? It's happening every time! Don't people take things slowly anymore?!

Larianne

LyndaMcL wrote: »

So, is it normal to be asked out after exchanging about 4 or 5 messages? It's happening every time! Don't people take things slowly anymore?!

You're obviously so cool and hot that the guys are afraid you'll be snapped up by someone else! If you're not comfortable meeting up in such a short space of time just let them know.

Esoteric_

Larianne wrote: »

You're obviously so cool and hot that the guys are afraid you'll be snapped up by someone else! If you're not comfortable meeting up in such a short space of time just let them know.

Or most of the men on the site are very desperate. Seems a more logical explanation!