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Dry Spell
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Yeah, but you're a women, so it's totally expected, but women asking out guys seems to be a major no-go. Btw have you ever asked a guy out in a random situation? My point is that most women in other countries do as much chasing as men, but that rarely happens in Ireland for some reason.
I have!
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=60892204
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parker kent wrote: »In fairness, I had a girl in UCD ask me out in the queue for the student desk. And I'm not exactly Brad Pitt's twin brother. Flirting can and does happen in other places in Ireland. It'll never happen though if you never try it.
really? that's great!
wish things like that happened me! or I had the balls to do it myself 0 -
stupidusername wrote: »really? that's great! wish things like that happened me! or I had the balls to do it myself
Well it happened in 2009, so it is not exactly breaking news! There was a fairly long queue for the desk and we ended up starting small talk about the length of the queue, then what courses we were doing, living on campus etc. Then she said "you wanna go for a drink in the SU bar later?".
So all you need is means and motive for flirting to happen.0 -
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You're bang on there, it does only seem to happen in Ireland, which I find really, really odd. For example I successfully chatted up a woman in the line for cinema tickets in London and I had a beautiful girl give me her phone number while she was servring me in a clothes shop in Covent Garden. I even had a girl who lived upstairs from my flat ask me out for coffee one morning when I was collecting my mail. That would be considered normal enough in most countries but for some reason it's a huge no-go over here
I felt like a porn star when I lived in England but for some reason was living like a monk in Ireland before that, it's truly bizarre.
I think it'd safe to say, Ireland = Dry Spell Central :pac:
I have had my male single friends say the same thing to me. I find Ireland a very funny place when it comes to sex and nudity for that matter. There is still such huge hang ups about it and what is acceptable in other countries, flirting in public and asking for numbers in bus stops etc. seems to be faux pas here. Women here hold all the cards and they can decide where, when, from and whom they get sex from.
As a women here, I have never had a problem finding or getting sex when I wanted it. I have even done without it at my own choice. But when I want it, I get it but I have turned down guys (I dont mean to boast). For example last July I was sitting in a pub one Sunday afternoon by myself. I wasn't done up our anything, just had my hair tied back and wearing my summer blouse with runners. I was in the corner reading my book and an hour after a man in his early 40s struck up a conversation with me. We got on like a house on fire, anyway to cut a long story short(and a couple of drinks later), i went back to his apartment which was a 10 minute walk and had sex. After sex, I snuggled into him and I thought to myself, wow I wasn't expecting that, but it was nice. Around 11pm, I got up, (needed to catch the last bus) put my clothes back on, kissed him goodbye and never saw him again.
Now I'm engaged to be married and I met my fiance through work. he came up to me, we flirted and I gave him my number. The rest is history. In saying that, I have alot of pity for Irish guys. They are so sweet in a realy shy way and it is hard for them espcially when Irish girls are aloof. Guys, I want to say you are the best in the world and I am rooting for ye.
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You're bang on there, it does only seem to happen in Ireland, which I find really, really odd. For example I successfully chatted up a woman in the line for cinema tickets in London and I had a beautiful girl give me her phone number while she was servring me in a clothes shop in Covent Garden. I even had a girl who lived upstairs from my flat ask me out for coffee one morning when I was collecting my mail. That would be considered normal enough in most countries but for some reason it's a huge no-go over here
Irish women not being as forward as their European/American/Canadian/
Australian etc counterparts doesn't excuse guys from making any effort, this isn't a tit-for-tat game. The Irish dating scene is retarded enough as it is with the lack of a culture of approach and low confidence among people in general and this argument just furthers the resentment between the sexes that seems to add to the problem. I know it takes a bit of encouragement to summon up the balls, but how can it possibly ever change if everyone constantly shies away and blames the opposite sex?
From a woman's perspective, I've seen a fair few women being labelled by the 'psycho' or 'desperate' tag when they initiate contact, or express interest in a not-so-subtle way, just as I've seen the guys who were 'creeps' or 'freaks' for making an approach, so the judgements work both ways, and add to that the fact that some guys love the chase, they want to be the ones that instigate things and a woman assuming this role makes them uncomfortable or detracts from their interest. Believe me, I've met them.
Either way, I think the problem is slow evolution and force of habit more than anything else. We haven't evolved to a point where supermarket pick-ups or coffee shop number exchanges are normal methods of meeting people, so we over-think that whole process and invariably end up hating each other. Bearing in mind as well in Ireland any individual potentially has a lot more to lose, with three degrees of separation and village gossip being a legitimate concern. I can safely say I'll never see that guy that I slept with a few weekends ago again, he's from a small town in northern Ontario and Canada is a big place. Whereas I've never had that same freedom in Ireland, so that can definitely add to the inhibitions and caginess.0 -
In fairness G86, it took you the guts of a week to work up the courage to ask some guys housemate to forward him a piece of paper with your number on it. I'm not taking anything away from you here because what you did was still brave and your attitude is very refreshing, but most guys would have bitten the bullet in that situation right away and taken whatever reaction in their stride.beks101 wrote:Irish women not being as forward as their European/American/Canadian/Australian etc counterparts doesn't excuse guys from making any effort, this isn't a tit-for-tat game.
You've lost me here. Nobody said it was a game, it's a far too serious situation for alot of people to be labelled as a game IMO, plus who said that Irish guys don't make an effort to chat up Irish women (or women in general)? I said that some guys now think twice before approaching women because they have been embarrassed or humiliated in the past and are hesitant at getting burnt again. It's understandable if you ask me and it leaves the onus squarely at the feet of women, who will more then likely do nothing at all and revert back into their old ways of sitting back waiting to be approached. It's a vicious circle.ksusha26 wrote:In saying that, I have alot of pity for Irish guys. They are so sweet in a realy shy way and it is hard for them espcially when Irish girls are aloof. Guys, I want to say you are the best in the world and I am rooting for ye.
It's nice to hear a female response that isn't straight on the defensive for once, I agree with the vast majority of your post and I'd like to remind all of the female posters that this thread is about dry spells.........yet the vast majority of female posters have admitted to having sex recently and those that haven't say they could have it anytime they wanted anyway. You obviously haven't a clue what it's like to be a guy in a dry spell so although your posts are welcome and interesting for the most part, please know your audience and try not too rub it in 0 -
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Women here hold all the cards and they can decide where, when, from and whom they get sex from.
in honesty they'res no level playing field in ireland.You've lost me here. Nobody said it was a game, it's a far too serious situation for alot of people to be labelled as a game IMO, plus who said that Irish guys don't make an effort to chat up Irish women (or women in general)? I said that some guys now think twice before approaching women because they have been embarrassed or humiliated in the past and are hesitant at getting burnt again. It's understandable if you ask me and it leaves the onus squarely at the feet of women, who will more then likely do nothing at all and revert back into their old ways of sitting back waiting to be approached. It's a vicious circle.
i would definitely think twice about approaching a girl here from past experiences from harsh put downs to childish games that would in other countries be frowned upon and quite rightly so.It's nice to hear a female response that isn't straight on the defensive for once, I agree with the vast majority of your post and I'd like to remind all of the female posters that this thread is about dry spells.........yet the vast majority of female posters have admitted to having sex recently and those that haven't say they could have it anytime they wanted anyway. You obviously haven't a clue what it's like to be a guy in a dry spell so although your posts are welcome and interesting for the most part, please know your audience and try not too rub it in
a dry spell is like a vicious circle the longer it goes on the more confidence you lose making sex harder to get and prolonging it.as for female posters saying how easy it is to get sex it only re-iterates what i knew all along whilst i dont mind it on an internet forum if i met a girl in a bar who told me this id find it very conceited and be picking up my drink and moving on.0 -
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I have had my male single friends say the same thing to me. I find Ireland a very funny place when it comes to sex and nudity for that matter. There is still such huge hang ups about it and what is acceptable in other countries, flirting in public and asking for numbers in bus stops etc. seems to be faux pas here. Women here hold all the cards and they can decide where, when, from and whom they get sex from.
As a women here, I have never had a problem finding or getting sex when I wanted it. I have even done without it at my own choice. But when I want it, I get it but I have turned down guys (I dont mean to boast). For example last July I was sitting in a pub one Sunday afternoon by myself. I wasn't done up our anything, just had my hair tied back and wearing my summer blouse with runners. I was in the corner reading my book and an hour after a man in his early 40s struck up a conversation with me. We got on like a house on fire, anyway to cut a long story short(and a couple of drinks later), i went back to his apartment which was a 10 minute walk and had sex. After sex, I snuggled into him and I thought to myself, wow I wasn't expecting that, but it was nice. Around 11pm, I got up, (needed to catch the last bus) put my clothes back on, kissed him goodbye and never saw him again.
Now I'm engaged to be married and I met my fiance through work. he came up to me, we flirted and I gave him my number. The rest is history. In saying that, I have alot of pity for Irish guys. They are so sweet in a realy shy way and it is hard for them espcially when Irish girls are aloof. Guys, I want to say you are the best in the world and I am rooting for ye.
+1,000,000!
Are you Irish btw?0 -
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In fairness G86, it took you the guts of a week to work up the courage to ask some guys housemate to forward him a piece of paper with your number on it. I'm not taking anything away from you here because what you did was still brave and your attitude is very refreshing, but most guys would have bitten the bullet in that situation right away and taken whatever reaction in their stride.
Ah yes, but that was 2 years ago. I've been much more pro-active since also, it simply hasn't been documented 0 -
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G86 wrote:Ah yes, but that was 2 years ago. I've been much more pro-active since also, it simply hasn't been documented
We'll just have to take your word for it
By the way your thread was very cute, I had a great big grin on my face reading it and I was rooting for you all the way :pac:gargleblaster wrote: »I don't acknowledge it. I still assert that it's due to unwillingness to sleep with older or unattractive women. And that such women don't actually find it so easy to find a man to sleep with them unless they too drastically lowered their standards.
But why don't you acknowledge it? Older or unattractive women might not get the same amount of attention as younger or attractive women but they will still get way more attention then an older or unattractive man.0 -
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TaraFoxglove wrote: »That's not true. Power shifts as people get older. Older men have it easier than older women without a doubt.
Only older men with money 0 -
Only older men with money
Hmmm, I dunno. I'm not even going to try and deny that older men with money can cherry-pick women, they can, but I'm late 20s and was recently chatted up by a guy in his early 40s and I gotta tell ya, I wasn't horrified! And I have no idea what his financial status was (and we weren't in a venue for the moneyed either). Reverse the sexes and how would it have played out?0 -
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