Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Sitec

If life gives ya lemons feck lemon juice go crazy on the lemons an bake a lemon cake


Actually wanted to break the laptop when I seen that.

secrecy_ie

Apologies if someone else posted this already:

http://www.lamebook.com

gubbie

hatetherain! wrote: »

I've know this girl for years and am friends with her on Facebook, in reality she good fun and quiet nice.
But when she's on Facebook she drives me bloody demented, I get so fukcing annoyed I want to slap her! Every status update or comment she makes is followed by ...xxx me!
We all know her bloody name is <name here> and that's it's not "me".

"had a great day at the beach today.....xxx me!"

"happy Christmas everyone ....xxxx me!"

"ok so hatetherain! I'll meet you at 2pm tomorrow ...xxx me!"

Everything she writes has her bloody name next to it.....or hasn't she noticed!

It make me so angry....I'm even angry now typing this out

Can't defriend her cause as I said she actually quiet normal and nice in real life

Facebook has cast a "your now a silly 34 years old woman acting like a 13year old girl" spell on her

You could just hide her posts. Problem, solved

metalfest

Sitec wrote: »

If life gives ya lemons feck lemon juice go crazy on the lemons an bake a lemon cake
.

Everyone knows it's, if life gives you lemons just say fúck the lemons and bail!

cactuspaw

"why is everyone putting up norway flags on their pages? was amy winehouse from norway?"

poor girl, shes known for missing the point often.

drdeadlift

Dear Mr. Kenny


Please find below my suggestion for fixing the Irish economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 400 thousand people over 50 in the work force. Pay them 1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. 400 thousand job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new car. 400 thousand cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy €100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ..... And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of the Dail pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances. If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know. Also;

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home. This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay €600 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Mayo almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept and, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.

Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

---

Also;

Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Ireland to speak up!


Yours sincerely,


Fergus Hamill

orourkeda

WHO'S THIS GENIUS

Lambsbread

and no one has thought of this before :rolleyes:

drdeadlift

Lambsbread wrote: »

and no one has thought of this before :rolleyes:

eyes up to heaven

jonnyfingers

I challenge anyone to find one single flaw in this man's argument!

FatherLen

i tip my hat

SEPT 23 1989

Fergus's brother was in Star Wars

ScummyMan

You know, he might have something there...

Hedman

FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:

iMax

Is there 400,000 over 50s in the workforce? Seems like a lot.

Liam Byrne

Thread title fail.

If you're proposing ideas for the economy, it's probably best that you ensure that you can speak English first, otherwise you won't be taken seriously.

EDIT : Then again, we did have Bertie Ahern & Jackie Healy Rae in the Dáil, so maybe I'm being a little harsh.

smash

jonnyfingers wrote: »

I challenge anyone to find one single flaw in this man's argument!

€5,200 a year on alcohol/tobacco per person for the rest of their life? With only €1,000,000 after paying a mortgage and buying a new car and sending kids to college and then actually living?

€1,000,000 is not a lot of money!

drdeadlift

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Thread title fail.

If you're proposing ideas for the economy, it's probably best that you ensure that you can speak English first, otherwise you won't be taken seriously.

EDIT : Then again, we did have Bertie Ahern & Jackie Healy Rae in the Dáil, so maybe I'm being a little harsh.

Its the internet don't take it so serious

minidazzler

jonnyfingers wrote: »

I challenge anyone to find one single flaw in this man's argument!

400,000 x 1,000,000 = 400,000,000,000

mathie

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Fergus's brother was in Star Wars

The 'gay robot is his brother' slur campaign begins early.

drdeadlift

smash wrote: »

€5,200 a year on alcohol/tobacco per person for the rest of their life? With only €1,000,000 after paying a mortgage and buying a new car and sending kids to college and then actually living?

€1,000,000 is not a lot of money!

I think its a solution to jump start a ruined economy not a long term fix.It wouldnt work with the level of corruption here,

foxyboxer

jonnyfingers wrote: »

I challenge anyone to find one single flaw in this man's argument!

instead of giving billions of pounds :rolleyes: to the banks......


there's one right there.

Liam Byrne

drdeadlift wrote: »

Its the internet don't take it so serious

....ly :rolleyes:

chillywilly

smash wrote: »

€1,000,000 is not a lot of money!

Any chance of a lend of a few quid?

smash

drdeadlift wrote: »

I think its a solution to jump start a ruined economy not a long term fix.It wouldnt work with the level of corruption here,

It's wouldn't work EVER

chillywilly wrote: »

Any chance of a lend of a few quid?

no

g'em

OP I have no comment on your post but just wanted to let you know I tidied it up. The lack of formatting was driving me farking bonkers. This issue is more important to me than any cow tracking device.

Also;

g'em

daniels.ducks

WOW!

drdeadlift

g'em wrote: »

OP I have no comment on your post but just wanted to let you know I tidied it up. The lack of formatting was driving me farking bonkers. This issue is more important to me than any cow tracking device.

Also;

g'em

cheers!! Sorry it was a quick copy and paste

EIREHotspur

I don't care if any of these points will work or not....I say impliment them and make Fergal The Minister For Everything.

You can only live in one house though Fergal and no Pub Openings or the like for you.....sit around and think up some more of this.....hell write a book.

M.J.M.C

g'em wrote: »

OP I have no comment on your post but just wanted to let you know I tidied it up. The lack of formatting was driving me farking bonkers. This issue is more important to me than any cow tracking device.

Also;

g'em

Title needs attention also.
Should have changed it to "Saw this..." rather than "Seen this..."

Anyway, a funny read.


EDIT: thanks for changing