Is an orgasm so important ???

Ickle Magoo

I'm all curious now - can you give a quick definition of what you mean if you think there's a language issue at play?

Flexiblefriend

OP Here...............Wow what did I start !!!! Its been an interesting read...

Raze_them_all

Flexiblefriend wrote: »

OP Here...............Wow what did I start !!!! Its been an interesting read...

This type of topic will always naturally go off in different tangents.


I believe the sentiment is, yes orgasms are important but are not necessary every single time to enjoy sex and don't fake em.

Jillberta

Hi All

I need your help ladies. I am 22 year old and I have NEVER had an orgasm. I dont fake im totally honest with my boyfriend. I have been in a few realtionships and had a few one night stands but ive never orgasmed. I have tried on my own but nothing. At this stage I have tried everything but I just came seem to get over that edge. Just wondering has any of you been in this position before? Any sucess stories or any advice would be greatly appericated.

Thanks
Jill

wolfmoon87

Have you tried a clit vibrator? They are really good....:)

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-vibrators/

Raze_them_all

Could be a psycological reason either, could be lots of things tbh. You're better off trying to get yourself to come so you'll know what'll work.

Count Duckula

Every woman should be bought a clitoral vibrator on her sixteenth birthday and then given two days on her own to use it!

Honestly, how can us poor guys be expected to tip you over the edge when some women haven't yet learnt their own bodies first! Men can tell you what they like in sex because we've been playing with ourselves ever since we realised it got harder when we stroked it :pac:

Indeeedy

wolfmoon87 wrote: »

Have you tried a clit vibrator? They are really good....:)

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-vibrators/

Agreed!...Get him to use it on you too..It might not actually be him giving you the orgasm but it will def turn him on seeing how much you enjoy it and make him feel good that you have come..its not going to matter from what..my boyfriend loves using it on me and there will be no way you'l need to fake it!

polly78

I know this may be stating the obvious but the more relaxed u are in head and body the easier it will be, also if you've nothing against it an erotic book or watching some porn even, alone or with your boyfriend. The more turned on u are, before you're even touched, the better.

(u wouldnt wanna be dependent on the porn, I just mean to help u at first)

Kanoe

Op it's really only you who can decide how important it is, if you are being satisfied in every other way then maybe its just a case of waiting for this relationship to develop in its own time.

LegacyUser

Jillberta wrote: »

Hi All

I need your help ladies. I am 22 year old and I have NEVER had an orgasm. I dont fake im totally honest with my boyfriend. I have been in a few realtionships and had a few one night stands but ive never orgasmed. I have tried on my own but nothing. At this stage I have tried everything but I just came seem to get over that edge. Just wondering has any of you been in this position before? Any sucess stories or any advice would be greatly appericated.

Thanks
Jill

Regular user logging out as this is just a little too personal ... like you I arrived late to the party but I got there.

What worked for me was a quiet, warm, dark (yes even though it's just you) room, reading erotica (check Amazon, they've got loads) and just a little touch of moisturiser on my finger tips. Read for a while first, don't go straight to masturbation. When you find a story you enjoy, when you start to feel turned on, re-read it then start on yourself.

Leave your partner out of it for the moment. Once you've figured out what works for you, you can share it with him.

Adrian009

Flexiblefriend wrote: »

OP Here...............Wow what did I start !!!! Its been an interesting read...

Hey, how did it work out for you?

kowloon

Count Duckula wrote: »

Every woman should be bought a clitoral vibrator on her sixteenth birthday and then given two days on her own to use it!

Honestly, how can us poor guys be expected to tip you over the edge when some women haven't yet learnt their own bodies first! Men can tell you what they like in sex because we've been playing with ourselves ever since we realised it got harder when we stroked it :pac:

Wait, it does what?!:eek:

I do remember sex ed in school went something along the lines of boys touch themselves because they're dirty filthy animals, Girls get periods and don't have sex because you'll end up living in sin, with a baby adn your life will be ruined.

Pretty sure orgasms were never mentioned.

I'm sure things have changed, but I doubt they're telling girls what they should know.

parker kent

metrovelvet wrote: »

Im going to drop it. There is very clearly a language problem.

I didnt say there were only one or two people who appreciate it. I said there were one or two who know what Im talking about, most likely because its evident I am speaking a different language here, thats all, there maybe many others who appreciate it but dont recognise what I am talking about because we are using different words. For example, Romance, has nothing to do with what I am talking about at least inso far as what I understand romance to be, but others may have a different understanding of what this word means.

So..Im dropping it. Sorry I brought it up.

I kinda guessed you meant the conversation was technical in a "Do this, add that=orgasm" sense. And that people were ignoring sensuality, treating it like it was something that could be achieved easily once you do A,B and C.

If I could compare it to something, I'd compare it to cooking. Some people talk about it like it is a science, follow the recipe and you'll reach your end goal. But others use "feel" and "know how" to get the job done. It is more sensual, less technical.

Whelanannie

When the relationship is fresh and new it might not matter to you, but the longer you stay with him the more it will bother you

Flexiblefriend

Adrian009 wrote: »

Hey, how did it work out for you?

I have stopped pretending I am gettin an orgasm, and he is quite disappointed not to be giving me one and is trying very hard to change that. So far no success but I am enjoying being with him anyway. Although I dont like seeing him disappointed when I dont orgasm (I dont think he believes me that it doesnt matter....and at the moment it doesnt...)

Flexiblefriend

Whelanannie wrote: »

When the relationship is fresh and new it might not matter to you, but the longer you stay with him the more it will bother you

Yeah, that is quite possible....time will tell.....however time may also sort out this issue....at the moment I am hoping the latter will be the case

yizorselves

When I was younger I didnt really care and just thought sex was all about getting in there and going hard at it. With age comes experience and all that, not that I'm old I'm only 27 in a few weeks. But I find the best way to make the woman orgasm is this: The build up, the usual bit of smoochin and touching, and a good grope/massage of the rear . And then some gentle playing with the clit, followed by oral sex. I suppose it helps if the guy is really into giving oral. Some arent, those guys are pussies imo.

Sorry if I made ye blush

KeithAFC

You know, i don't think many men honestly care about the female aspect for women. As long as they cum and get the leg over as they say, many honestly don't care.

opinion guy

KeithAFC wrote: »

You know, i don't think many men honestly care about the female aspect for women. As long as they cum and get the leg over as they say, many honestly don't care.

I disagree. The way I view it any vertebrate can whack one out, it doesn't take alot of empathy to care that your partner enjoys herself too.

If that argument doesn't convince than consider that NO man wants to be considered crap in bed. All men consider that all women talk about sex with their friends when men-folk are out hunting or rebuilding the engine or whatever, therefore all men want to get their women off for reputation reasons if nothing else

epgc3fyqirnbsx

KeithAFC wrote: »

You know, i don't think many men honestly care about the female aspect for women. As long as they cum and get the leg over as they say, many honestly don't care.

BS, it would crush any man I know to think he was bad at doing that which he craves most

KeithAFC

Malaya Agreeable Pod wrote: »

BS, it would crush any man I know to think he was bad at doing that which he craves most

:pac: If you believe that, fair enough. Good topic though.

Jillberta

Jillberta wrote: »

Hi All

I need your help ladies. I am 22 year old and I have NEVER had an orgasm. I dont fake im totally honest with my boyfriend. I have been in a few realtionships and had a few one night stands but ive never orgasmed. I have tried on my own but nothing. At this stage I have tried everything but I just came seem to get over that edge. Just wondering has any of you been in this position before? Any sucess stories or any advice would be greatly appericated.

Thanks
Jill

Jill, I'm pretty much the same. And after reading this, I thought I was the only one!:eek:

Don't get me wrong, I find sex enjoyable, just can't reach the big O.

As she said, any more advice would be greatly appreciated.

boomkatalog

Deleted User wrote: »

Jill, I'm pretty much the same. And after reading this, I thought I was the only one!:eek:

Don't get me wrong, I find sex enjoyable, just can't reach the big O.

As she said, any more advice would be greatly appreciated.

I can only reach that goal during foreplay, in a certain position. Shame I can't no matter what we're doing but hey, finding one way to make it work is all I need

I think you have to just keep trying different things 'til you find what works. Explore oral, penetration and masterbation, mutual or alone. And the most important thing, no matter what you're doing, is to relax. Thats about all anyone can suggest really, relax, explore and best of luck

Adrian009

Flexiblefriend wrote: »

I have stopped pretending I am gettin an orgasm, and he is quite disappointed not to be giving me one and is trying very hard to change that. So far no success but I am enjoying being with him anyway. Although I dont like seeing him disappointed when I dont orgasm (I dont think he believes me that it doesnt matter....and at the moment it doesnt...)

I know I'd be gutted, BUT better now than futher down the road! Hopefully it will be the start of a brand new set of fun and games for ye!:D Remember, RELAX - ITS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!!!

Adrian009

Deleted User wrote: »

Jill, I'm pretty much the same. And after reading this, I thought I was the only one!:eek:

Don't get me wrong, I find sex enjoyable, just can't reach the big O.

As she said, any more advice would be greatly appreciated.

Whatever it is gets you light-hearted and friskey. A daft film, a few drinks, dancing, whatever floats de boat. I know that all women are not the same, and that each needs a different approach, but it seems that girls need to be utterly relaxed and at ease first and foremost. Fretting does not help! Maybe girls should just masturbate more?

LegacyUser

I have had that situation OP, ended up marrying the man in fact, and needing to wait until he was asleep or gone to then 'complete' the job myself to orgasm. Not married anymore but that was not the reason. However, I have (recently) had orgasms with penetration alone which is perfect. In fact my clitoris is too sensitive for any direct approach. I have no explanation other than perhaps some pornographic version of Cinderella where what fits perfect is not a slipper (or Goldilocks and the 3 penises? This one is too big, this one is too small this one is just right?)... anyways I hate being asked if I had an orgasm. If you have to ask, it probably didn't happen! I do think being relaxed helps, trust in the person you are with helps, and other than that, chemistry!

Pembily

If you don't care if your partner orgasms then you're not a good lover IMO! That is for guys and girls...

Best of luck trying OP