Is an orgasm so important ???

Flexiblefriend

Hi ladies
Long time lurker, first time poster. I have a question that been bugging me for the last few weeks. I have a new boyfriend, 5 months now. He is lovely, we get on really well, I fancy him a lot......the only problem is in the Leaba....he thinks I have an orgasm every time we sleep together.. he always asks and I lie and say yes...I have said no and he has worked hard to give me an orgasm and I eventually tell him I had one because it get frustrating that I havnt had one. I have showed him what I lie and directed him, and to be fair he does try....but it just doesnt work.....My question is....would this be a deal breaker for you ??? I am thinking I can get used to it because I like him a lot but......can i ???:rolleyes:

krudler

First off stop lying to him about it, as a guy if I slept with a girl and she didnt orgasm my reaction wouldn't be "gasp! you've ruined any notions of my abilities in bed" but more "ok, so what works and how do we improve it?" every woman is different, what can make one woman orgasm in minutes might take hours for another, so stop lying and have fun figuring out what does work, can you orgasm through masturbation? Then show him what works and let him take it from there.
Would you like it if you thought you were good in bed and it was working for the other person only for them to be faking it? finding out what works for both of ye is one of the best parts of sex with someone new, great sex is something that comes with time.

Look it's not going magically to happen if you lie and fake it.
It's also not a good foundation for a relationship if you're lying about something like this.

so stop lying and have fun figuring out what does work, can you orgasm through masturbation? Then show him what works and let him take it from there.

^ What krudler said

Poor Craythur

OP, fact: a lot of women can't orgasm from penetration, so you need to explore other ways to make it happen.

Raze_them_all

For me yes it would be, I'd feel selfish i orgasmed and she didnt

themadchef

The way i look at it, your orgasm isint entirely his responisibility. You have to play your part too

Porn, fantasies, dirty talk, dressing up, what ever it takes. Have fun with it, if youre open to him (as opposed to keeping secrets or lying out of some need to protect him) you might be amazed at the outcome.

It should be about fun, so make it fun. Dont sit this on his ermmm doorstep owwww matron

Morgase

Are you talking about orgasms from penetration only, OP? As Poor Craythur said, loads of women can't orgasm that way.

If that's the case, have you tried him going down on you? Or him using his hands on you? For a lot of women, it's much easier to have an orgasm that way.

LegacyUser

I'm not the OP, but I have a similar problem with my boyfriend... I have had orgasms with him a few times, but I don't usually. I know it easy for people to say "Just don't lie about it!" but once I started I couldn't stop. All he wants is to make it good for me as well, and will delay his own orgasm to concentrate on me, but I think the pressure is too much or something and I just can't do it. I know someone has already suggested showing him how I do it myself, but I have trouble getting myself off I don't think it helps that I am very self-conscious of my body and need to lose weight, I find it very hard to forget about it when I'm having sex. Uggghhh I feel like the worst girlfriend ever, I just don't know what to do

Flexiblefriend

OP here...I lie to him because he really tries to give me an orgasm, he goes down on me, uses his hands but he just doesnt make me come...I know a lot of women dont come through penetration and with him I am certainly one (so far). I have shown him what makes me come and he tries to copy it but its not working....I dont just lie there and expect him to do all the work either...I like being on top and it seems to turn me on more than him on top but again, no orgasm. He is an old fashioned kinda guy and I am slow to suggest porn or using toys.

I am not really looking for advice here.....Im more interested to see could other ladies stay in a relationship with someone perfect in so many ways.....but one who doesnt give you an orgasm.

Raze_them_all

Flexiblefriend wrote: »

OP here...I lie to him because he really tries to give me an orgasm, he goes down on me, uses his hands but he just doesnt make me come...I know a lot of women dont come through penetration and with him I am certainly one (so far). I have shown him what makes me come and he tries to copy it but its not working....I dont just lie there and expect him to do all the work either...I like being on top and it seems to turn me on more than him on top but again, no orgasm. He is an old fashioned kinda guy and I am slow to suggest porn or using toys.

prrobably has a lot to do with it if you're afraid to suggest stuff

themadchef

Raze_them_all wrote: »

prrobably has a lot to do with it if you're afraid to suggest stuff

She has showed him how she likes it, penetration, hands, oral and she's still not getting there. I think, in fairness to the girl she's doing her best but the guy hasint a clue because she's all "yes, yes and ohhhhhh yes" when it's really "are you done yet".

OP, i think if you started by sitting down and talking about it with him, maybe he'd shock the hell out of you.

As for me, it's a deal breaker. I couldint live like that, would wreck my head. Youre not being honest with him and it's going to snowball into other parts of your relationship. Discussing orgasms are worth the risk of losing the relationship imo. Just choose your words carefully so as not to hurt or pressurise him.

The_Morrigan

Flexiblefriend wrote: »

OP here...I lie to him because he really tries to give me an orgasm, he goes down on me, uses his hands but he just doesnt make me come...I know a lot of women dont come through penetration and with him I am certainly one (so far). I have shown him what makes me come and he tries to copy it but its not working....I dont just lie there and expect him to do all the work either...I like being on top and it seems to turn me on more than him on top but again, no orgasm. He is an old fashioned kinda guy and I am slow to suggest porn or using toys.

I am not really looking for advice here.....Im more interested to see could other ladies stay in a relationship with someone perfect in so many ways.....but one who doesnt give you an orgasm.

I've slept with guys who were hit and miss, sometimes it worked other times it didn't. There are various factors, emotional, physical, stamina, state of mind - say if one is up for it & the other is just going through the motions.
And, yes I've faked it, when I've wanted it to end sooner rather than later too.
Like Krudler said its all about learning with your new partner, sex is reactive and you can't follow a "to do" list, you have to explore and experiment as it is a very individual thing.

I'm also wondering whether the problem isn't him, but your reaction to him. You've said he is a keen enthusiast to learn and he is copying what you've shown him works from solo play - so could it be your reaction rather than his actions? Has this ever been an issue with other guys?


To answer your question though -it would be a deal breaker for me, I would introduce toys etc and after all that if it still doesn't work or he doesn't want to learn/experiment I would be showing him the door.

Pembily

YES, YES, YES (for me)!!!! I couldn't be in a relationship where the guy didn't make me (with my help) orgasm!!

Have you tried masturbating for him????

LegacyUser

Going anon for this, because one of the people in question is on boards.

To answer your question, OP, yes I have stayed in relationships where I've never had an orgasm. I orgasm fine alone, just not during sex. I don't know why this is - I can't seem to disconnect my brain long enough, or maybe (in retrospect) the sexual chemistry just wasn't there for me. It did prove problematic, in that I started to resent each of my partners and let that build up. First one for 3 months, second for 10, then I ended up breaking it off. I never faked it though, just told them I didn't mind. So lied in a different way I suppose.

Closest I ever came was during a one-night stand, then we got interupted (grumpy scowl)

I've a question for you though. Have you had this issue with other guys? If not, maybe the chemistry just isn't there?

Biscuits.

Why have sex if you don't have an orgasm? It defeats the purpose, I will not enjoy sex if there's no climax, would you watch entertainment (ie. films, dramas, what have you) if there was no climax? More importantly, would you be entertained?

I don't mean to be tough on women who are ignorant to real sexual pleasure but if you don't orgasm...it doesn't even count. If you don't tell a man how to please you then you're not doing anything for him or for you.

Bottom line and potential solution: you know, sex isn't just penetration, in fact most women don't even orgasm by penetration. Get him to lick you, you do have a clit (hopefully). If you can't orgasm that way by yourself then you're hopeless and btw, you have to work towards orgasm, too. What I mean by that is, if you've masturbated enough (you don't have to tell us, I'm just saying) you should know this, that having stimulation isn't enough. It's hard to make coherent but you'd get what I mean if you knew what you liked.

Poor Craythur

I gotta say, I disagree with a lot what you said there, biscuits. Cunnilingus does not do it for every woman for starters.

Biscuits.

Poor Craythur wrote: »

I gotta say, I disagree with a lot what you said there, biscuits. Cunnilingus does not do it for every woman.

I don't care if you don't agree with me, I didn't say what I said so others will agree with me, I'm just saying things how they are so it's rare that people will. And she isn't orgasming any other way and she wants to orgasm, I didn't say "you're doomed to only cunnilingus" now, did I? You can have both and orgasm during sex. Sex != vaginal intercourse, how boring. You can still have your vaginal penetration but not orgasm from it - that's just the way things are for some women, I'm not included in this bulk but I still commend those who aren't obsessed with the "main course" that doesn't even satisfy them.

boomkatalog

Worrying about orgasming is the one time I don't! If you forget about that part for now, relax, explore other things; massage, toys, whatever it is that you're into and yano, some new stuff And then if it happens, great. But have a chat with him first, if he thinks you are already, he'll develop a routine of something that doesn't work. But if you just say "Sorry, been lying all along" then HE'S going to worry about it, and all enjoyment goes out the window. Approach the subject carefully, with sensitivity, and see it as a positive: an excuse to go shopping in Ann Summers and explore new things Best of luck.

squeakyduck

Personally I feel orgasms are very important. I spent 3 years lying to an ex about whether I came or not, I think I had one mini one in the time that we were together. I felt that the "closeness of the act" was more important.

Now I'm with a guy, that puts me over the edge 9 times out of ten, if it doesn't always happen it doesn't matter to me. I know we can get there!

OP are you stressed? Do you really fancy your new boy? Sometimes stress can knock things off balance, and if you really like your new boy and want to make it work it would be worth your while speaking to him about something new. Be it a new position, or playing around during sex. Maybe bring a vibrator into the equation, or maybe have him rub you in places you like to be rubbed. It's all about experimenting! some stuff will need to be tweaked every so often!

colly10

Lying to him is only ruining your chances of ever having one. Every girl is different so from the first time your with a new girl you try different things and gauge the reaction like how she's breathing or behaving. If something he's doing is not working for you and your giving him positive feedback then he'll remember that and will mix it in in the future. Your only confusing him, just relax and react as you naturally would and he'll hopefully pick up a few things in a while

Stheno

Flexiblefriend wrote: »

OP here...I lie to him because he really tries to give me an orgasm, he goes down on me, uses his hands but he just doesnt make me come...I know a lot of women dont come through penetration and with him I am certainly one (so far). I have shown him what makes me come and he tries to copy it but its not working....I dont just lie there and expect him to do all the work either...I like being on top and it seems to turn me on more than him on top but again, no orgasm. He is an old fashioned kinda guy and I am slow to suggest porn or using toys.

I am not really looking for advice here.....Im more interested to see could other ladies stay in a relationship with someone perfect in so many ways.....but one who doesnt give you an orgasm.

I've had relationships where the sex in the first few months was rubbish and then developed into something great, BUT both of us made an effort to get to know what made the other happy, that included talking about toys etc

If you aren't "putting out" in terms of all the different ways that make you achieve orgasm, it's not a great basis for a good sex life.

fee fi fo fum

Biscuits. wrote: »

I don't mean to be tough on women who are ignorant to real sexual pleasure but if you don't orgasm...it doesn't even count. If you don't tell a man how to please you then you're not doing anything for him or for you.

Biscuits, while you have already stated that you don't care whether people agree with you or not , you're generalising.

Granted i may be the only exception to the rule but i derive huge pleasure from penetration with or without orgasming this way. So it counts. It definitely counts.

An orgasm is effectively a state of mind and i couldn't feel better connected to my boyfriend that when we're fused this way.

Da Shins Kelly

Pembily wrote: »

YES, YES, YES (for me)!!!! I couldn't be in a relationship where the guy didn't make me (with my help) orgasm!!

Have you tried masturbating for him????

Good God. Looks like you're having an orgasm just thinking about it.

beks101

Biscuits. wrote: »

Why have sex if you don't have an orgasm? It defeats the purpose...

I don't mean to be tough on women who are ignorant to real sexual pleasure but if you don't orgasm...it doesn't even count. If you don't tell a man how to please you then you're not doing anything for him or for you.

So getting to the finish line is more important than intimacy, physical closeness, relaxation, stress relief, playful fun, exploring your partner's body and getting to know them better on a physical level etc etc etc...?

Boll1x. I'm a woman, I don't get there every time, but I thoroughly enjoy the physical sensation of sex and I love it for all the above reasons. They are as much the 'real sexual pleasure' to me as the seeing-stars part and unless an orgasm is chronically absent, there's nothing remotely invalid about the sexual experiences I'm having. They're valid either way - I have fun either way and ideally it will blow my mind, but at the very least it will relax me and improve my mood.

OP as others have said - you need to 1. STOP faking it, 2. explore your body enough to understand what gets you off and 3. relax. If you focus 100% on reaching the point of no return, you can be sure you'll never get reach it...it's too much pressure and it may be taking away from the build-up, which is the most important part in terms of getting you in the mood and turning you on. And if something isn't working...switch it up, and keep switching until you find your perfect position, technique, speed, or whatever. Open your mind and try them all!

reallyrose

Biscuits. wrote: »

I don't mean to be tough on women who are ignorant to real sexual pleasure but if you don't orgasm...it doesn't even count. If you don't tell a man how to please you then you're not doing anything for him or for you.

Why bother even having sex? Why not just apply a high powered vibrator straight to your clit/prostate (depending on gender). Bam, orgasm in 3 seconds and you can go about your daily business.

Sex shouldn't always be about the destination. Just fooling around is a lot of fun. For me anyway, once I cum I kinda lose interest in the whole deal and I want to go to sleep. So if I orgasm quickly, it really isn't ideal because (for me) my brain switches off and it's all over. If I don't, sex lasts longer and I might even get a second go in!
Everyone is different in their attitude to sex and telling our OP there that she is a failure as a woman because her new beau hasn't hit the right button yet isn't exactly helping out.

*stops typing before the ranting begins*

tan11ie

I think to much emphasis is put on the big O...If the sex is good and your having fun does it really matter if you orgasm every time..

omen80

I'm the best lover in the world - I cum every time!

k4kate

tan11ie wrote: »

I think to much emphasis is put on the big O...If the sex is good and your having fun does it really matter if you orgasm every time..

Hear hear
A woman can orgasm with a vibrator but there is no sense of emotional connection or fun and excitement.
An orgasm is great but there are many more important things during sex

krudler

Biscuits. wrote: »

Why have sex if you don't have an orgasm? It defeats the purpose, I will not enjoy sex if there's no climax, would you watch entertainment (ie. films, dramas, what have you) if there was no climax? More importantly, would you be entertained?

I don't mean to be tough on women who are ignorant to real sexual pleasure but if you don't orgasm...it doesn't even count. If you don't tell a man how to please you then you're not doing anything for him or for you.
.

Why bother having sex at all if its just for the climax? you can masturbate for that and do it in half the time it takes with another person involved. Given the choice of a 10 minutes of masturbation with an orgasm or a few hours of sex with a woman with no climax I'd take the sex.

BTW saying other women are "ignorant to real sexual pleasure" isnt going to win you any fans on here, no need to come across as so condescending. A lot of the time its not a womans fault if she cant orgasm, if it was that easy to have great sex then everyone would be having it.

Faith

Biscuits. wrote: »

Why have sex if you don't have an orgasm? It defeats the purpose, I will not enjoy sex if there's no climax, would you watch entertainment (ie. films, dramas, what have you) if there was no climax? More importantly, would you be entertained?

I don't mean to be tough on women who are ignorant to real sexual pleasure but if you don't orgasm...it doesn't even count. If you don't tell a man how to please you then you're not doing anything for him or for you.

I HATE this attitude. It's like people who say "Why have a couple of drinks if you're not going to get really drunk?". Because sometimes a couple of drinks is just perfect.

I seem to be somewhat unusual in that I don't think orgasms are that important. Sex for me is about a huge range of things, and if there's an orgasm, great, if not then no worries. I get a huge amount of pleasure simply from the feeling of a man being inside me. I've been with men who've given me several orgasms in one night, and with men where I've only orgasmed every second or third time. For whatever reason, their ability to make me orgasm is not what I remember about them. Guys who're constantly checking if I've come make me feel under huge pressure.

Have you ever come with him, OP? If you never do, then yeah, that would probably be a problem. But if you do occasionally, I'd be less concerned. But it doesn't matter what we think - only you know yourself whether an orgasm is a deal breaker for you.

ElleEm

tan11ie wrote: »

I think to much emphasis is put on the big O...If the sex is good and your having fun does it really matter if you orgasm every time..

I don't dispute that sex is great without an orgasm, but why have great sex on it's own? Having an orgasm is the nicest feeling in the world, and adds to the greatness of sex.
Having an orgasm with a partner is probably the most intimate thing you can do, as you are truly calm and free at that moment.

It would be a deal breaker for me if I was in a relationship for any length of time without being given an orgasm by a partner. I think time needs to be spent exploring what works for both partners and if one partner isn't as committed to pleasing the other, then sex will always just be "okay". Some people are willing to be in a relationship with "okay" sex. I am not!!

krudler

Faith wrote: »

I HATE this attitude. It's like people who say "Why have a couple of drinks if you're not going to get really drunk?". Because sometimes a couple of drinks is just perfect.

Its like having a really great long snogging session on the couch or wrapped around each other in bed, doesnt have to lead to sex, its just nice to do it for the sake of doing it. If it was a case of you never orgasmed during sex, yeah that'd be frustrating and a problem. But its not the be all and end all, hell I've had sex where she's orgasmed a few times and me none, but it didnt mean I didnt enjoy it.

k4kate

krudler wrote: »

Its like having a really great long snogging session on the couch or wrapped around each other in bed, doesnt have to lead to sex, its just nice to do it for the sake of doing it. If it was a case of you never orgasmed during sex, yeah that'd be frustrating and a problem. But its not the be all and end all, hell I've had sex where she's orgasmed a few times and me none, but it didnt mean I didnt enjoy it.

What are you doing Saturday night?:D

Piglet85

OP, have you tried fantasising during sex? It sounds to me like you're too self-conscious to let go enough to be able to orgasm, and if you're thinking about your weight you're definitely not losing yourself enough during the experience.

On the odd occasion where I'm just not getting there, I let my imagination get to work - and for those who feel that's cheating on your partner (and yes I have encountered that bizarre opinion), I should point out that the vast, vast majority of the time that I need to fantasise, it's actually just remembering the best sexy times that I've had with my man in the past. I ususally find that if I'm not in the right frame of mind for the act itself to push me over the edge, once I start to fantasise a bit I lose myself in the moment enough to forget anything that might be hindering me and BAM! - success!

Flexiblefriend

OP back again. Yes I have had orgasms with other partners. I also dont think an orgasm is the b all and end all, I love being in bed with him and having fun....I love being close to him to be honest. I was just wondering would other ladies be content to stay in a relationship and never orgasm (so far penetration, oral and hands all havnt worked)I will continue to show him what I like (what makes me come when alone)....I have shown him a good few times already but he doesnt seem to know a womans body too well and it hasnt worked so far....However I dont intend to stop trying......Thanks for all the replies so far

I am not one bit conscious about my weight during sex.....he loves my body and tells me often enough !!!!

Piglet85

Flexiblefriend wrote: »

I am not one bit conscious about my weight during sex.....he loves my body and tells me often enough !!!!

Sorry OP, I got you mixed up with another poster who said that their weight was making them self-conscious. Sorry!

LittleBook

Flexiblefriend wrote: »

I have shown him a good few times already but he doesnt seem to know a womans body too well and it hasnt worked so far....However I dont intend to stop trying

In fairness to him, how could he know if you keep telling him he's doing what you need and lying to him about orgasming.

I'm sorry OP but you already did stop trying when you started being untrutful with him.

When I first met my partner, it took us a little time to get everything right and there were a couple of times I was tempted to fake it, simply because he was putting so much effort into it, it felt like it would be a reward to him if I lied. But I didn't ... and we got there ... and we've been getting there ever since.

krudler

Flexiblefriend wrote: »

OP back again. Yes I have had orgasms with other partners. I also dont think an orgasm is the b all and end all, I love being in bed with him and having fun....I love being close to him to be honest. I was just wondering would other ladies be content to stay in a relationship and never orgasm (so far penetration, oral and hands all havnt worked)I will continue to show him what I like (what makes me come when alone)....I have shown him a good few times already but he doesnt seem to know a womans body too well and it hasnt worked so far....However I dont intend to stop trying......Thanks for all the replies so far

I am not one bit conscious about my weight during sex.....he loves my body and tells me often enough !!!!

Because he thinks what he's doing is working since you're lying about it, you're doing yourself out of orgasms by not being honest about it.

jimbobaloobob

k4kate wrote: »

What are you doing Saturday night?:D

That kinda thing takes more than a night k4k.

Thats what i just ready anyhow:D

k4kate

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

That kinda thing takes more than a night k4k.

Thats what i just ready anyhow:D

Thought whatever way it was phrased it was just one ride...shag...session

Hey, what the hell I am available all week.

krudler

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

That kinda thing takes more than a night k4k.

Thats what i just ready anyhow:D

No i meant in the one night, if it wa a case of me going a few times without orgasming then that'd be an issue, happened the first few times with an ex, couldnt figure out if it was nerves or what as I fancied the pants off her and there was no issue with what either of us was doing, turns out it was the condoms we were using, they were extra safe/thick ones so felt nothing, changed to a different type and everything was grand, so it can be any reason really.

Wibbs

Eh Folks if some of you wanna have some flirtfest, please take it to PM. No more. Thanks.

metrovelvet

This is why they say real love requires a lot of patience.

Asphyxia

I don't understand why people lie about this! The problem about lying is he'll think your having them and think what he's doing in the bedroom is right for you when it's obviously not. How would you feel if he lied to you about them? You have to work on things in the bedroom just like you would in a relationship, start experimenting and see what you both like Take a trip into a sex shop and have a look around it can be really fun and add to the excitement of going home and enjoying what you get

Orgasms are important in a relationship because it brings you close to the person, you see each other at their most intimate state. I have them 99% of the time I love to try news things all the time It keeps things fresh and you will find out what gets you ticking Have a chat with you fella, text him a fantasy you want to do and just enjoy yourself.

Whatever you do don't look at it like a job just let it happen naturally

Biscuits.

Wow, what I've said seems to have caused quite a uproar.

Let me be more clear:

- I didn't say penetration orgasms don't count, don't know where ye all got that idea from. It's absolutely great if you have them, you're luckier than most .
-Of course I'm aware that there still are women who find it easy to orgasm that way, I am one of them.
- My attitude isn't "sex is all about the orgasm", I know all the other parts are important but not orgasming despite having the power to and because you want to make someone feel better about their performance is just silly and shouldn't even count as an intimate act.
- Just because I enjoy the climax of something doesn't mean I'll skip to the climax, I don't watch solely the climaxes of movies, like I've said, I watch the whole thing but if it doesn't have a climax then it defeats the purpose of being entertained because that's not entertaining.
- Depriving yourself of an orgasm because of sexual ignorance, to me, lessens the intimacy, trust me, I know all about intimacy and touchy feely womanly stuff, I only have sex with other women.

krudler

Biscuits. wrote: »

Wow, what I've said seems to have caused quite a uproar.

Let me be more clear:

- I didn't say penetration orgasms don't count, don't know where ye all got that idea from. It's absolutely great if you have them, you're luckier than most .
-Of course I'm aware that there still are women who find it easy to orgasm that way, I am one of them.
- My attitude isn't "sex is all about the orgasm", I know all the other parts are important but not orgasming despite having the power to and because you want to make someone feel better about their performance is just silly and shouldn't even count as an intimate act.
- Just because I enjoy the climax of something doesn't mean I'll skip to the climax, I don't watch solely the climaxes of movies, like I've said, I watch the whole thing but if it doesn't have a climax then it defeats the purpose of being entertained because that's not entertaining.
- Depriving yourself of an orgasm because of sexual ignorance, to me, lessens the intimacy, trust me, I know all about intimacy and touchy feely womanly stuff, I only have sex with other women.

I'd have whiplash for doing a 180 turn that fast.

Biscuits.

krudler wrote: »

I'd have whiplash for doing a 180 turn that fast.

I've made a habit of being misunderstood in every way possible lol. Didn't want my first post to be long-winded though so I didn't over elaborate, suppose I should've.

boomkatalog

Biscuits. wrote: »

- Just because I enjoy the climax of something doesn't mean I'll skip to the climax, I don't watch solely the climaxes of movies, like I've said, I watch the whole thing but if it doesn't have a climax then it defeats the purpose of being entertained because that's not entertaining.

I don't think you're being misunderstood Biscuits, I think in general people disagree with the above statement. The general consensus seems to be that sex is enjoyable with or without orgasm, but you're saying sex is enjoyable, but why have sex if you're not going to climax? Not that you don't enjoy the other parts, but that it's the finishing line, or the goal. Whereas personally, and I gather what the other posters are saying is, the goal isn't about orgasm, the goal is to have fun and enjoy the overall intimacy And then the orgasm is a nice bonus

Biscuits.

boomkatalog wrote: »

I don't think you're being misunderstood Biscuits, I think in general people disagree with the above statement. The general consensus seems to be that sex is enjoyable with or without orgasm, but you're saying sex is enjoyable, but why have sex if you're not going to climax? Not that you don't enjoy the other parts, but that it's the finishing line, or the goal. Whereas personally, and I gather what the other posters are saying is, the goal isn't about orgasm, the goal is to have fun and enjoy the overall intimacy And then the orgasm is a nice bonus

No, I'm not saying why have sex if you don't orgasm, I'm saying it'll be far less enjoyable.

Well, it's easier to make it the goal if you orgasm easily, it doesn't make sex any less enjoyable for me because you know, I don't orgasm once during sex. I think most people view orgasms as a "bonus" this way if they don't orgasm a lot. Just an observation.

I also don't eat because it's enjoyable to eat, I eat because I'm hungry and enjoy how it tastes second. Get me?

boomkatalog

I'm of the opinion that orgasms are a nice bonus and they're not rare for me (thank you bf ) but if it doesn't happen, no big deal, I still enjoy it just as much. Some of the best sex I've ever had I didn't climax.

Plus, I'm more inclined to keep going if I don't, after I do I'm only fit for a 3-in-1 and a nap :pac:

krudler

Biscuits. wrote: »

Why have sex if you don't have an orgasm? It defeats the purpose, I will not enjoy sex if there's no climax, would you watch entertainment (ie. films, dramas, what have you) if there was no climax? More importantly, would you be entertained?

No, I'm not saying why have sex if you don't orgasm, I'm saying it'll be far less enjoyable.

Well, it's easier to make it the goal if you orgasm easily, it doesn't make sex any less enjoyable for me because you know, I don't orgasm once during sex. I think most people view orgasms as a "bonus" this way if they don't orgasm

seriously, what? you say people who have sex with no orgasm arent enjoying it then say you dont orgasm during sex yourself? make up your mind.