Haven't touched a drop in...

Abcxyz12345

Wow, super well done Marienbad!!! An incredible amount of years & I look forward to all of that ahead of me... One day at a time! Thank you for all of your wise & gentle contributions to this thread x

Abcxyz12345

It's been over 4 months for me! This whole experience has been an absolute whirlwind of every type of emotion but Ive just been thinking, and feeling, the past few days that I'm kinda beginning to like myself! Sounds weird probably but I never realized how little regard I had for myself before... Now that I'm beginning to go easy on myself & I'm kinda liking my true self! It's kinda a novelty haha!! Hope all are doing well at the mo & wishing you all good things x

marienbad

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

It's been over 4 months for me! This whole experience has been an absolute whirlwind of every type of emotion but Ive just been thinking, and feeling, the past few days that I'm kinda beginning to like myself! Sounds weird probably but I never realized how little regard I had for myself before... Now that I'm beginning to go easy on myself & I'm kinda liking my true self! It's kinda a novelty haha!! Hope all are doing well at the mo & wishing you all good things x

Marvellous achievement Abc, and it will continue to get better . And we like you too

lufties

Abcxyz12345 wrote: »

It's been over 4 months for me! This whole experience has been an absolute whirlwind of every type of emotion but Ive just been thinking, and feeling, the past few days that I'm kinda beginning to like myself! Sounds weird probably but I never realized how little regard I had for myself before... Now that I'm beginning to go easy on myself & I'm kinda liking my true self! It's kinda a novelty haha!! Hope all are doing well at the mo & wishing you all good things x

Well done

lufties

A month today,I know it was the shortest month of the year but still

marienbad

lufties wrote: »

A month today,I know it was the shortest month of the year but still

Well done , nothing to be sneezed at , it is often the hardest month.

L.Jenkins

A good article on giving up drink.

http://higherperspective.com/2015/01/without-alcohol.html?utm_source=cleo&ts_pid=2

Kunkka

Itzy wrote: »

A good article on giving up drink.

http://higherperspective.com/2015/01/without-alcohol.html?utm_source=cleo&ts_pid=2

All the points she makes echo my own experience anyway and she puts it across very well. It's a simple fact that anyone who either has a problem with drink or is an alcoholic will become a much better person when they put the drink down.

I really liked the bit about toxic people as it is so true. People can be triggers for all kinds of addictions. Unfortunately I had to cut out a load of these people when I gave up because they were a hazard for my own sobriety & quite frankly they weren't supportive when I was in the ****. There is no point people pleasing when it can lead to your own destruction. When I realized that life became so much easier as I was always the sad clown.

lufties

Kunkka wrote: »

All the points she makes echo my own experience anyway and she puts it across very well. It's a simple fact that anyone who either has a problem with drink or is an alcoholic will become a much better person when they put the drink down.

I really liked the bit about toxic people as it is so true. People can be triggers for all kinds of addictions. Unfortunately I had to cut out a load of these people when I gave up because they were a hazard for my own sobriety & quite frankly they weren't supportive when I was in the ****. There is no point people pleasing when it can lead to your own destruction. When I realized that life became so much easier as I was always the sad clown.

I'm a month free of booze now, and the one stand out thing is the amount I'm sleeping, sometimes 10 hours a night(although I do shiftwork), its still really bizaare. Another thing is I'm starting to like myself again and my self esteem is gradually coming back.

beadygirl

Glad to have this found thread, gave up drinking about 12 years ago, it was making me miserable, after having started drinking at the age of 15 for many years it was more of a social thing but the last few years before I gave up, felt I was at it too much, it seemed to be the only hobby I had and one heavy night out = four days of feeling down depressed and anxious afterwards. And yet 12 years later for some reason am thinking maybe I can just be a moderate drinker, have the odd one, think I need to know more non drinkers as sometimes feel am the only one in the world who doesn,t drink!! Great thread this.

marienbad

beadygirl wrote: »

Glad to have this found thread, gave up drinking about 12 years ago, it was making me miserable, after having started drinking at the age of 15 for many years it was more of a social thing but the last few years before I gave up, felt I was at it too much, it seemed to be the only hobby I had and one heavy night out = four days of feeling down depressed and anxious afterwards. And yet 12 years later for some reason am thinking maybe I can just be a moderate drinker, have the odd one, think I need to know more non drinkers as sometimes feel am the only one in the world who doesn,t drink!! Great thread this.

No you are not alone, there are thousands of us .And welcome to the thread.

enoughalready

I attended an awards show last night. Glitz and glam galore in a 5 star Dublin hotel with loads of 'celebs'. Before that I had dinner out in a 'posh' resturaunt. And although I should have had a really good time, I didn't. I don't know if it's because I was uncomfortable in my surroundings (it wouldn't be the norm for me) or if I was still in the 'I'm out socialising but I haven't a drink in my hand' mode.

There was free drink going around and I was literally like a shy kid on his first day of school, clinging to my friend and looking forward to it being all over.
I mean it was just very overwhelming and I was the total opposite of relaxed.

I tried telling my friend that these kind of things I am not interested in anymore. I have new priorities and a new lifestyle. That may have been the old me but 15 months on, I'm a shadow of myself if I enter places like this. Don't get me wrong, people in college and work would call me very confident and think I should be a politician or public representative as I'm a good public speaker but put me in a room full of people who are all obnoxiously boozing and I 'm searching for the nearest exit and nearly hyperventilating.

My friend and I debated what happened and she said this is just the beginning for me and that I need to keep dipping my toe into these circles until I become comfortable and it becomes second nature to me but I feel this is the end, as in, this is the end of me going to places where drink is overflowing and people are tipsy / drunk. It makes me want to drink too as it would seem it is the only way I know (or have ever known) to behave in situations like this.

She said it can't be so black and white and I said well that's me - I've always been 'ALL OR NOTHING!'. I'm happier not attending these functions. My friend had my best interests at heart as she wanted me to socialise more with the gay community but I just crashed and burned but thankfully didn't drink and went home, slightly bemused and downhearted.

What are your thoughts on it? Sorry for going on and on but I'm now all muddled up whereas before the event life was trucking along at a lovely happy pace....

Amazingfun

What are your thoughts on it?

Honestly?

My thoughts are that you're thinking about you too much. AA explains that many alkies are self obsessed types and that part of what we need to do is to start thinking about what we can pack into the stream of life, how we can make events like this more enjoyable for others instead of worrying about how we feel 24/7. Sorry to be a bit blunt but you did ask I know many people attend a meeting before heading out to big events like this as well . Just my experience.

Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don’t start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.

http://www.whytehouse.com/big_book_search/aspbook/ch7p102.asp

enoughalready

Amazingfun wrote: »

Honestly?

My thoughts are that you're thinking about you too much. AA explains that many alkies are self obsessed types and that part of what we need to do is to start thinking about what we can pack into the stream of life, how we can make events like this more enjoyable for others instead of worrying about how we feel 24/7. Sorry to be a bit blunt but you did ask I know many people attend a meeting before heading out to big events like this as well . Just my experience.



http://www.whytehouse.com/big_book_search/aspbook/ch7p102.asp

No by all means Amazingfun, be as blunt as you want with me. I need that, really and truly, I need a good dose of reality and to hear different perspectives. So true, maybe if I focused on someone else during the event and made it more about their enjoyment I wouldn't have been so self concious, now I feel kinda bad cause I made the whole experience unenjoyable for my friend with my self obsession. Need a wake up call or slap in the face....grrrrrr.....thanks for your views on it, it gives me something to work on (",)

ifeelstupid

12 years today.....actually it was sometime in February 2003 I had my last drink but I went into a treatment program on St. Patricks day - something only a crazy alcoholic would do:P
I can honestly say that despite the ups and many downs since, it has been the best time of my life. Sobriety is not without it's difficulties but for anyone that is struggling right now I would say stick with it - the rewards far outweigh any any of the hardships.

marienbad

How is everybody ? seems to have gone quiet in here ! Is quiet a good thing ?

GerB40

marienbad wrote: »

How is everybody ? seems to have gone quiet in here ! Is quiet a good thing ?

In five weeks time I'll be a year sober and I can guarantee I won't be quiet then

That's assuming I don't drink until then but I'm fairly certain I won't.

marienbad

GerB40 wrote: »

In five weeks time I'll be a year sober and I can guarantee I won't be quiet then

That's assuming I don't drink until then but I'm fairly certain I won't.

Well done Ger and you shouldn't be quiet either . It's a grand life isn't it .

K4t

GerB40 wrote: »

In five weeks time I'll be a year sober and I can guarantee I won't be quiet then

That's assuming I don't drink until then but I'm fairly certain I won't.

Approaching the 1 year anniversary myself as well. Typically, my cravings have got slightly worse the longer I've remained sober. The old voice telling me to have a few drinks - it's not as bad you remember, you deserve to get drunk and relax and enjoy life etc. Thankfully I also don't forget how drink destroyed my life, and how my drinking affected others. It's not a constant battle for me but more a case of skirmishes, which you must always be vigilant of, and prepared for.

K4t

K4t wrote: »

Approaching the 1 year anniversary myself as well. Typically, my cravings have got slightly worse the longer I've remained sober. The old voice telling me to have a few drinks - it's not as bad you remember, you deserve to get drunk and relax and enjoy life etc. Thankfully I also don't forget how drink destroyed my life, and how my drinking affected others. It's not a constant battle for me but more a case of skirmishes, which you must always be vigilant of, and prepared for.

There's a great post here somewhere by realies about how when you're not working on keeping free from drink, you're in reality working on going back on it as your mind lapses into this sort of thinking and in reality what you're doing is trying to make it easier for you to go back on the drink. That is precisely what I had a tendency to do but now that I'm conscious of it I don't let myself fall into the trap.

Kunkka

GerB40 wrote: »

In five weeks time I'll be a year sober and I can guarantee I won't be quiet then

That's assuming I don't drink until then but I'm fairly certain I won't.

Well done

the evasion_kid

K4t wrote: »

Approaching the 1 year anniversary myself as well. Typically, my cravings have got slightly worse the longer I've remained sober. The old voice telling me to have a few drinks - it's not as bad you remember, you deserve to get drunk and relax and enjoy life etc. Thankfully I also don't forget how drink destroyed my life, and how my drinking affected others. It's not a constant battle for me but more a case of skirmishes, which you must always be vigilant of, and prepared for.

I read this today and found it to be very much the truth:

". In Alcoholics Anonymous they talk about how when I was sober, my disease was doing push-ups. Those who support the disease theory of addiction believe that the condition can progress even when the individual is no longer drinking or using. "

In my case after a relapse or two I was only kidding myself thinking it would be different this time around,I'd just get beat down again with it and wake up with empty cans and bottles around me and be at a low point again,in fact its down right dangerous to go back again its like your bodies trying to make up for all the alcohol that its missed

magicgal

Nearly 2 years since have had a drink - don't even miss it!! Started to see a guy in jan.From different things that have happened in last few weeks and a drunken fight he iniated over the phone am having suspicions he is an alcoholic. Better to know now than deep into relationship

Barney224

here's a question. If you're a non-drinker, how easy is it to have a relationship with a drinker? I used to be a smoker and ended up marrying a non-smoker. I found it much easier to give up when we started going out as there was no temptation.

Kunkka

So I'm 3 1/2 years sober over the next few days. What putting down a drink has given me to put perspective on why I never want to drink again one day at at time;

- Began to respect who I am for the first time in my life.
- I've lost 6 stone
- I've ran numerous marathons / 1/2 marathons(I couldn't run 2kms before I gave up drinking)
- I've mended most of the important relationships in my life & become closer than I've ever been to my family.
- I done the Eulogy at my grandfather's funeral when I would have normally been asked to stay away on a day like that if I was still drinking.
- I have progressed in my career.
- I've become qualified in what I do and am graduating this year for the first time in my life.
- I've realized who my real friends are & have people close to me in my life I actually have full trust in.
- I finally have direction in my life and can be trusted.
- I met a girl 2 years ago I completely fell in love with and we got engaged a few weeks ago. My longest relationship while I was drinking was 2 months due mainly to my own insecurities and the fact I despised myself.

Even with all that I know that without the program and support network I have in my life I could easily go back drinking. That's how crazy a hold alcohol can have over you, you'd give up everything to just get that feeling of that blissful oblivion when your head isn't right. It is something I need to keep a handle on for the rest of my life. I know that all the hard work I've done could be easily undone with one moment of madness but the trick is to maintain my sobriety so a moment like that won't arise. It's about doing the right thing even when I don't want to. Why the **** would I want to go back to wanting to just be in a room by myself drinking to oblivion while waiting for that moment of insanity to commit suicide? All I want to do is live now and enjoy life, I love being sober.

Amazingfun

Most beautiful post I've read in ages Kunkka.....the gratitude just shines out. We have indeed been given a great gift and I treasure it too Ps: Congrats on the engagement and all you've achieved !!!

hubba

Fabulous post, Kunkka, you've made a massive change in your life but you still respect the enemy and the potential it has to drag you back to the dark days. Thanks for sharing here, great to see such a transformation in one human being. Inspirational.

dashcamdanny

Been off the beer for 4 days now.

I am one of those people who needs a few pints every night after work. At home .. A sort of dependency that has grown over the years.

I was totting my weekly consumption , and its around 25 pints per week. When I put it in these terms I have set a goal of abstaining for a month.

I am not an alcoholic but I am finding myself craving for a beer or a glass of wine in the evening.

Is there any advise on dealing with this?

Kunkka

dashcamdanny wrote: »

Is there any advise on dealing with this?

You'd need to fill your time in with something that distracts you.

hubba

Shake up your routine a bit. Take a different route home, maybe at a different time. Eat as soon as you get home rather than later etc etc. Otherwise if nothing else changes then you'll feel like you just have a big hole where the drinking used to take place.

The first week will be the hardest but stick with it and you'll think of it less and less. You might even slowly begin to discover there's more to life!

Best of luck with it, dashcamdanny.