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Bisexual men

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    #62
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    NoseyMike2010 wrote: »
    I was probably a rude prick!! If you are the receiver I always thought it meant you were gay. Me being stupid i guess.

    The blood thing is true. I am sure I read it last time I donated.
    Receiver of what?


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    #63
    Mr. Loverman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,001 ✭✭✭Mr. Loverman


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    Receiver of what?

    I think he means the penis.


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    #64
    NoseyMike2010
    Registered Users Posts: 420 ✭✭NoseyMike2010


    penis!

    :rolleyes:

    Sorry i am digging a hole for myself here :o:o


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    #65
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    It's about who you are attracted to erotically and romantically.


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    #66
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Posts deleted - can I ask that posters take the time to read the charter before posting and point out After Hours is a far more suitable forum for silly posts, lolcats, innuendo, etc.

    Many thanks


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    #67
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    AnneElizabeth wrote: »
    First of all: Are you sure she doesn't know? And is he genuinely bi? If so..

    No I'm not sure she doesn't know but she's never brought it up. It's only a guess. A gut instinct. Yeah, he's genuinely bi. What's genuinely bi though? Sexuality is so grey and murky.
    What you SHOULD do is tell him you do not feel comfortable knowing something which you are not allowed to tell her. He's making you be a bad friend to the girl by asking you to keep that secret. He has no right to do that.
    Tell him that he has to tell her the truth, he's being unfair to her and you.

    I probably should do that but I won't. I don't want to stir ****t. It's none of my business and he's done nothing wrong. We don't know each other and as someone said, is it really an issue if he plans to be with her for the rest of his life?
    That way you are not being a bad friend to her and he is being honest with her. And you don't have to get involved

    I think it's up to him to decide when to tell her...ideally before they get married though.

    (And before anyone says it's mean - no it's not - it's the right thing to do. If she'd have no issue with him being bi then why not tell her. And if she would have an issue with him being bi - then she has a right to know. How humiliating would it be for her if everyone (including her friends) knew he was bi except for her).

    I've done a lot for this girl, she's my best friend in the country I live in but I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do. They're both 40, they're adults....I could come out looking like the bitter single friend trying to sabotage the relationship.


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    #68
    x Purple Pawprints x
    Registered Users Posts: 40,401 ✭✭✭✭x Purple Pawprints x


    Interesting thread OP. :)

    To be honest, if I was seeing a bisexual man it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Someone's orientation doesn't matter as long as they are committed to the person that they're with at the time. I know a few people that are bi and it's not at all true that they are more promiscuous than heterosexual people. That's one of those stereotypes that is completely untrue.


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    #69
    Vinta81
    Registered Users Posts: 2,953 ✭✭✭Vinta81


    No, I wouldn't.


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    #70
    Up-n-atom!
    Registered Users Posts: 446 ✭✭Up-n-atom!


    I've never been with anyone who's bi before, but I wouldn't like to think it would turn me off if I met someone I liked...think some of my friends would find it weird though, so probably wouldn't tell all of them about his preferences...

    A bi(female) friend of mine dated a bi-dude for ages, he wasn't at all 'gay' - he was quite nerdy actually! Was no way you could tell his sexual preference just by looking at him. Don't think you'd potentially be dating a less 'manly' guy just because he found other men attractive.


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    #71
    candy-gal1
    Registered Users Posts: 6,568 ✭✭✭candy-gal1


    Whats wrong with that?! everyones bisexual to a certain extent imho. Plus being "cheated" on by a guy with a guy is a whole lot better than your guy cheating with a girl. Id prefer it, as long as there are no secrets or going behind peoples backs, and everyone in the relationship is fine with it, same sex is fine tbh.


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    #72
    caseyann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,941 ✭✭✭caseyann


    candy-gal1 wrote: »
    Whats wrong with that?! everyones bisexual to a certain extent imho. Plus being "cheated" on by a guy with a guy is a whole lot better than your guy cheating with a girl. Id prefer it, as long as there are no secrets or going behind peoples backs, and everyone in the relationship is fine with it, same sex is fine tbh.

    No not everyone is bi even it is in your honest opinion. And no cheating on you with male,female,cat,dog is all the same.Its cheating and lying and misleading.
    Are you just saying that because you cheat on your men with women and want to be free of guilt? :eek::D Because you are saying cheating is a whole lot better than him doing on you with a girl you would rather guy,but then say all out in open so how would it be cheating if you know? :confused::P


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    #73
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    No never have. I'd be open to going out with a guy who is bi so it be something different from having to deal with men who act like boys.


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    #74
    TheNewMee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 62 ✭✭TheNewMee


    snuggles285 wrote: »
    No never have. I'd be open to going out with a guy who is bi so it be something different from having to deal with men who act like boys.

    I don't think there's any particular reason to think that bisexual men are any less likely to 'act like boys' than heterosexual men.


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    #75
    x Purple Pawprints x
    Registered Users Posts: 40,401 ✭✭✭✭x Purple Pawprints x


    candy-gal1 wrote: »
    Whats wrong with that?! everyones bisexual to a certain extent imho. Plus being "cheated" on by a guy with a guy is a whole lot better than your guy cheating with a girl. Id prefer it, as long as there are no secrets or going behind peoples backs, and everyone in the relationship is fine with it, same sex is fine tbh.

    I would have to agree with you when you say that everyone is bi to a certain extent to bo honest. I have to ask though, why would it be better to be cheated on by a guy with a guy? In my opinion cheating is cheating.


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    #76
    RonFan
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 129 ✭✭RonFan


    Being Bi as a male is very different from being bi as a female. Men's same-sex relationships differ to their opposing-sex ones far more than female's do. Females can be bi-sexual in the true sense of the word, meaning they can have romantic and sexual attractions towards both sexes. Men on the other hand, can have sexual attraction to both sexes, but only true romantic attraction to one or the other.

    So if he is straight but also sexually attracted to males, there should be no problem whatsoever. But if he is romantically attracted to men, i.e. acts camp, I would strongly advise women to not pursue a relationship with him as he is not truly interested and will be incapable of loving you in a romantic way.


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    #77
    candy-gal1
    Registered Users Posts: 6,568 ✭✭✭candy-gal1


    caseyann wrote: »
    No not everyone is bi even it is in your honest opinion. And no cheating on you with male,female,cat,dog is all the same.Its cheating and lying and misleading.
    Are you just saying that because you cheat on your men with women and want to be free of guilt? :eek::D Because you are saying cheating is a whole lot better than him doing on you with a girl you would rather guy,but then say all out in open so how would it be cheating if you know? :confused::P


    No i mean without the lies and misleading, if a guy wants to be with a guy and asks you first if thats alright then its definitly a whole lot better than cheating with a girl. Im not a guy, he has me already and he wont be with another girl, imho it hurts a lot more if its a girl as its cheating for the same thing and why would you do that really?!


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    #78
    pow wow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,288 ✭✭✭pow wow


    It wouldn't be my first choice, no.


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    #79
    28064212
    Registered Users Posts: 10,501 ✭✭✭✭28064212


    RonFan wrote: »
    Being Bi as a male is very different from being bi as a female. Men's same-sex relationships differ to their opposing-sex ones far more than female's do. Females can be bi-sexual in the true sense of the word, meaning they can have romantic and sexual attractions towards both sexes. Men on the other hand, can have sexual attraction to both sexes, but only true romantic attraction to one or the other.
    Completely incorrect. Women can very easily have sexual attraction to both, and romantic attraction to only one. Men can have romantic attraction to both. I dare you to post that opinion on the LGBT forum, see how long you'd last
    RonFan wrote: »
    if he is straight but also sexually attracted to males
    ... :pac:
    RonFan wrote: »
    But if he is romantically attracted to men, i.e. acts camp, I would strongly advise women to not pursue a relationship with him as he is not truly interested and will be incapable of loving you in a romantic way.
    So romantically attracted to men = camp? What an utter load of bullshit. There are plenty of camp men who are romantically attracted to women. In fact, there are even camp men who aren't attracted to men in any way (shock horror!)

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    #80
    28064212
    Registered Users Posts: 10,501 ✭✭✭✭28064212


    candy-gal1 wrote: »
    No i mean without the lies and misleading, if a guy wants to be with a guy and asks you first if thats alright then its definitly a whole lot better than cheating with a girl. Im not a guy, he has me already and he wont be with another girl, imho it hurts a lot more if its a girl as its cheating for the same thing and why would you do that really?!
    Ok, firstly, it's not cheating if he has permission, it's just an open relationship. So what you're actually saying is that you're ok with him having "just sex" with a guy, but not with a girl? Seems silly. If you're ok with just sex, what does it matter what gender the other partner is? If you're worried about him developing a relationship with the other partner, it's as likely to happen with a guy as with a girl

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    #81
    cdaly_
    Registered Users Posts: 6,440 ✭✭✭cdaly_


    I'd be inclined to think candy-gal1`s thesis here is that he'll get the girl-stuff from her and no other woman but that it would be ok for him to get the boy-stuff elsewhere because that's something she can't give him.

    Now whether that would incur the risk of him becoming emotionally involved with somebody else is another thing...


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    #82
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    This is probably a bit late, but from what I've seen before of a similar relationship.

    A guy I used to work with was engaged before and was out(for want of another way to put it) as Bi. Now I'm not suggesting that this could occur for all Bi men, but he became very obsessed with the idea of being sexually involved with another man.

    His fiancé ended up breaking the engagement because she felt uneasy with him and couldn't be sure of his commitment to her.

    But even then, this would be an issue to consider when getting involved with someone regardless of orientation. It's a matter of what the pair of ye want from the relationship.


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    #83
    cailinalainn1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10 ✭cailinalainn1


    Hey OP..

    I did! Well I didn't know at first!
    Was with this guy 2years and then one night, drunk, he told me he thinks he's bisexual. He was 22 at the time, said he was only realising it now. Had never been with a guy, was happy with me etc etc. Picked a bad time to tell me, I had a massively important next day which he knew I was really stressed out about. He told me via phone in the wee hours of the morning and then proceeded to fall asleep, therefore not answering/texting back. So tbh, I freaked! Didn't know what it meant for us; (at that stage he literally had only said "I think I'm bi", then fell asleep. Funny now but I was so upset at the time, didn't sleep at all that night, my important day was a disaster.
    When I finally saw him that evening, we had a massive row. From my point of view; I know he was drunk but he did not need to tell me in the middle of the night, knowing the day I had ahead of me. He never apologised for this, didn't think it was an issue. Blamed me for not immediately accepting him being a bisexual. My concerns were regarding our relationship; was it gonna change, did he still love me, what did it mean for us. Please note I have both gay and bi among my friends, I've absolutely no prob with it.
    We broke up about two months later! He continued to blame me for not accepting it that night, saying I was too narrow-minded!
    So I don't think it would matter, I wouldn't mind dating a bisexual, but if your OH doesn't already know you're bi and you want to tell them: It will probably come as a surprise to them so PLEASE be considerate; put some thought into the time and place of the telling! :)


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    #84
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    RonFan,

    If you wish to continue posting in the Ladies Lounge, I would urge you to read the forum charter; paying particular attention to the following;
    There is an expected standard of effort when posting in this forum.
    Lazy generalizations fall below this standard.
    Comments regarding personality traits which begin with words like "women just want to" or "all men are" are never true, and never serve any purpose except to inflame other users who feel the need to post to object to them them.

    Therefore, they will be regarded as flaming (posting a intentionally provocative post with the deliberate intention of bringing the thread off-topic) and users may be banned or infracted at the mods discretion.

    The mods will not be under any obligation to give any further warnings before enforcing this, or any charter rules.

    It is your responsibility to make yourselves aware of the rules of posting here


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