Let's Talk About Weight In Partners.

artzy_man

The question being, "Would you date someone who was noticably heavier/fatter than you?"

I myself am a 6ft man about about 14 and a half stone so I wouldn't say im light or even slim at all..

I don't think i'd date someone fatter then me as I simply don't think i'd be attracted to them. Tbh, I find it hard to imagine that any women finds me attractive so it goes both ways !

So, anyone got any 2c to lump in? This is really the women's opinion thread.

All credit for this thread goes to Galvasean as he created the same thread in TGC.

parker kent

Wow my off the cuff remark that you would never see a thread like this in TGC is spawning offspring!

RacoonQueen

Skinny men don't do it for me so someone with a bit of meat whether it's muscular or adipose tissue is alright by me. I don't find obesity attractive like...

artzy_man

parker kent wrote: »

Wow my off the cuff remark that you would never see a thread like this in TGC is spawning offspring!

Is that a joke ? New to both forums so don't know if that happens a lot

yosser hughes

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Skinny men don't do it for me so someone with a bit of meat whether it's muscular or adipose tissue is alright by me. I don't find obesity attractive like...

How do you define "skinny" Many people call people skinny when in fact they are at a normal healthy weight.It's just that more and more people are overweight or obese.So normal isn't normal anymore

parker kent

artzy_man wrote: »

Is that a joke ? New to both forums so don't know if that happens a lot

No I was just referring to when I said this in the thread about short guys in TGC.

parker kent wrote: »

But I'm not sure there will ever be a thread here asking men if they would ever date a woman who weighs more than they do

And then Galvasean said this. Seems I unwittingly started a chain reaction today!

Galvasean wrote: »

I'm off to make a cup of tea, then start that thread.

Knockin' down boundaries :pac:

The_Morrigan

The last guy I dated was 18/19 stone in weight and just shy of 6 foot. I'm 15 stone and 5'6....so yeah I would. Despite his weight, he had the best smile and the most gorgeous eyes ever.
However most guys wouldn't touch me with a barge pole cos I'm not "skinny" - and none of them have been anything but blunt in relaying that message too.

rainbow kirby

I prefer someone who is in proportion - that's not necessarily too thin or particularly big, but that just looks "right". I would prefer to go out with someone who shared my interests in fitness though, I'm not sure if I could put up with someone who was having a canary at me for wanting to go out for a 20 mile run.

yosser hughes

The_Morrigan wrote: »

The last guy I dated was 18/19 stone in weight and just shy of 6 foot. I'm 15 stone and 5'6....so yeah I would. Despite his weight, he had the best smile and the most gorgeous eyes ever.
However most guys wouldn't touch me with a barge pole cos I'm not "skinny" - and none of them have been anything but blunt in relaying that message too.

Again,what do you mean by skinny?Do you mean not fat? Being a normal,healthy weight is not "skinny". If you use pejorative terms then don't be surprised when people are blunt with you.

The_Morrigan

yosser hughes wrote: »

Again,what do you mean by skinny?Do you mean not fat? Being a normal,healthy weight is not "skinny". If you use pejorative terms then don't be surprised when people are blunt with you.

I don't mean anything by it, it wasn't me that used the term - it has been used in various guises by numerous guys that I've asked out, flirted with etc.

To quote one guy (cos its engraved in my brain for years now)
"[insert name here] you're such a nice person and I really like you, but its a pity you're not a size 8, cos then I'd fancy you"

Take what you will from that, but he was basically telling me to get fcuked because I didn't fit his ideal physical girlfriend type.

Novella

Would I date someone heavier than I am? Of course. Would I date someone noticeably obese? No. I just can't see myself being attracted to a person who was grossly over-weight. My current, and also previous boyfriends have all been of slim build so I guess that's what I tend to go for. It's not that I wouldn't go out with a guy unless he had an amazing body, and spent hours in the gym and was toned etc. Just a lot of excess weight would be a turn off for me.

Lia_lia

I would go out with someone heavier than me (well I've never been with anyone *not* heavier than me).

I couldn't be with someone who is very overweight. I'm an absolute bitch when it comes to people being overweight. I admit it! Just the way I am. Awful really.

G86

artzy_man wrote: »

The question being, "Would you date someone who was noticably heavier/fatter than you?"

.

I've highlighted two major differences in your question. 'Heavier' could simply imply weight in muscle, so the person could still be lean. Whereas 'Fatter' simply means overweight.

I'm 5'10' and 70kg, so yes I'd date someone noticeably heavier than me. But I don't think I'd date, or be attracted to, someone who was unhealthily overweight, for a start we wouldn't have anything in common.

El_Drago

Being someone who takes fitness quite seriously, I don't think I could ever go out with anyone who didn't make a good effort to stay in shape.So it goes without saying that I wouldn't go out with anyone who is heavier than me (14 stone)

seenitall

Anything up to James Corden-like "overweighted-ness" is fine, meaning I could still (and have done) find a guy attractive up to that point approximately, if other stuff (personality, looks, brains) clicks.

However, somewhere north of that point I would really struggle to find someone attractive, as the weight then starts to mar people's looks (imv), plus it doesn't take a scientist to conclude that our lifestyles would be completely clashing (I am petite, 8 stone, and I do care about eating healthily and having a healthy lifestyle, otherwise I would be more than 8 stone atm - as I have been...).

RacoonQueen

yosser hughes wrote: »

How do you define "skinny" Many people call people skinny when in fact they are at a normal healthy weight.It's just that more and more people are overweight or obese.So normal isn't normal anymore

ummmm....Russell Brand is skinny.

yosser hughes

RacoonQueen wrote: »

ummmm....Russell Brand is skinny.

Is he? He looks a normal weight to me.

artzy_man

I would'nt consider Russel skinny, as he has a nice amount of muscle from what I can gather.


A perfect example of a skinny guy is Michael Cera, now that's what id consider skinny.

RacoonQueen

yosser hughes wrote: »

Is he? He looks a normal weight to me.

Don't be so pedantic. Where did I say in either of my posts that skinny isn't 'normal' weight? Define 'normal' weight anyway? I don't find people of that physique attractive. Sorry. :rolleyes:

Novella

There. From little to big! And I do think Russell Brand is skinny.



Not that this is the point of the thread, but anyway.

G86

artzy_man wrote: »

I would'nt consider Russel skinny, as he has a nice amount of muscle from what I can gather.

Good 'Skinny'



Bad Skinny

Chuchoter

I'll be honest with you, no. I like thin girls. Maybe that makes me very shallow, but still.

pow wow

Chunky boys have a special place in my heart but current man is a runner so he's quite 'fit'. Anything above rake thin and below obese is grand - so long as I'm not repulsed and he has a personality that does it for me I can overlook a spare tyre. He eats bizarre food as part of his training regime and I eat junk food and we still get on fine :pac:

johnr1

seenitall wrote: »

Anything up to James Corden-like "overweighted-ness" is fine, meaning I could still (and have done) find a guy attractive up to that point approximately, if other stuff (personality, looks, brains) clicks.

However, somewhere north of that point I would really struggle to find someone attractive, as the weight then starts to mar people's looks (imv), plus it doesn't take a scientist to conclude that our lifestyles would be completely clashing (I am petite, 8 stone, and I do care about eating healthily and having a healthy lifestyle, otherwise I would be more than 8 stone atm - as I have been...).

<snip>

Seriously though, I found it very difficult in the past to remain attracted to an OH whom I loved who became seriously obese having been a distance swimmer/triathlon athlete when we first met. Lots of other stuff broke us up in the end, but I believe firmly that if you can look at your OH and go 'Damm she/he looks good' you'l forgive a lot of other stuff - minor rows that is obviously not biggies.

yosser hughes

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Don't be so pedantic. Where did I say in either of my posts that skinny isn't 'normal' weight? Define 'normal' weight anyway? I don't find people of that physique attractive. Sorry. :rolleyes:

Your are missing the point.
I'm not being pedantic.You are using the term "skinny" to describe someone who doesn't happen to be fat. "Skinny" is a pejorative term and yet it seems ok to use, where fat is not ok. Russell Brand not being fat doesn't make him "skinny".It's all about perception I suppose.
Because there are so many more overweight people now,fat becomes the new normal and anyone else is "skinny":rolleyes:
I think we are going OT here so I'll leave it there.

BrianD3

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Don't be so pedantic. Where did I say in either of my posts that skinny isn't 'normal' weight? Define 'normal' weight anyway? I don't find people of that physique attractive. Sorry. :rolleyes:

Normal weight is a BMI of 18.5 to 25. Brand looks to me as though he'd be easily in this range.

The other poster is right though, what people think is skinny, average or big is skewed and normal isn't normal anymore. For instance, I am currently 180 pounds at 5 foot 9.5. That makes me overweight according to BMI. I'm not worried as I know what im doing, am lean and into weight training etc. But most people think I'm skinny.

I'm pretty good at estimating weights partiicularly of men as I've been able to guess weights and then found out their true weight later. I can say that an 18-20 stone average height man is not unusual these days and doesn't look particularly out of place. A lot of "stocky" lads "with a bit of meat of them" would be around that weight. They're obese.

dirtyghettokid

i don't mind a bit of weight, but a big beer gut would turn me off. also if he had bigger breasts than me i'd be hurt

RacoonQueen

BrianD3 wrote: »

Normal weight is a BMI of 18.5 to 25. Brand looks to me as though he'd be easily in this range.

The other poster is right though, what people think is skinny, average or big is skewed and normal isn't normal anymore. For instance, I am currently 180 pounds at 5 foot 9.5. That makes me overweight according to BMI. I'm not worried as I know what im doing, am lean and into weight training etc. But most people think I'm skinny.

I'm pretty good at estimating weights partiicularly of men as I've been able to guess weights and then found out their true weight later. I can say that an 18-20 stone average height man is not unusual these days and doesn't look particularly out of place. A lot of "stocky" lads "with a bit of meat of them" would be around that weight. They're obese.

Are you really throwing BMI at me? Really? I stopped reading after the BMI thing. Sorry.

BrianD3

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Are you really throwing BMI at me? Really? I stopped reading after the BMI thing. Sorry.

"The BMI thing" LMAO. A measure recognised and used by scientists, statisticians, epidemiologists, researchers and other medical professionals. But nevermind them.

yosser hughes

RacoonQueen wrote: »

Are you really throwing BMI at me? Really? I stopped reading after the BMI thing. Sorry.

The equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and going la la la!
:rolleyes:

artzy_man

Okay stop both of ye.

Whether Russel brand is a normal weight or not...in that last pic he does look quite 'skinny', simple as. I don't care about the words used to describe someones weight. We all have a rough estimate of whats fat/skinny, leave it at that.

Catari Jaguar

Calipers test ftw

Anyways. I lost 2 stone, my bloke lost 2 stone. Neither of us skinny now. Healthy yea, but I want to be slender and toned. I preferably want him to be a little more muscular/ ripped.

As for girls I think slim and toned is preferable. Even a curvy celeb like Gloria from Modern Family is still thin despite the boobs/ ass.

johnr1

artzy_man wrote: »

Okay stop both of ye.

Whether Russel brand is a normal weight or not...in that last pic he does look quite 'skinny', simple as. I don't care about the words used to describe someones weight. We all have a rough estimate of whats fat/skinny, leave it at that.

Oh man, you're gonna get shot for this

artzy_man

I know it's a little OT but I think one of the problems with guys (Dunno about the gals) with more weight is not the physical more weight thing, its just the low self esteem and low confidence that they can generally have.

I was like a stone and a half bigger than I am now about four months ago and since then I have much more confidence/self esteem. I have learned, maybe wrongly(!), that the problem can be just one holding themselves back and having no confidence...hence they can make themselves 10x more unattractive then they actually think they are !

liah

I'd rather a little extra weight than being underweight. On that scale picture someone posted earlier I've been with each end of the spectrum.

Ideally though I'd just like a healthy weight that suits his shape.

I'm of slender build - it's something that runs in my family and losing weight rapidly due to unfortunate circumstances didn't help matters much. At 5'10 I am about 11stone.

yosser hughes

Deleted User wrote: »

At 5'10 I am about 11stone.

Nothing wrong with that at all. You are not underweight.

A few years ago I was barely over 9 stone, it's only been in the past year or two I've gained more weight, but this is due to me exercising more.

Rockery Woman

I dont think weight and attractiveness are always linked.

My husband is of slim build and very tall, but men I dated previously were of differing shapes and sizes.

I know one guy who is 6'5", weighs 100kg, has a bit of a belly on him - but damn it - he is HOT!!!!

Hes lucky Im not single.... cos Id pounce on him!:D

artzy_man

Deleted User wrote: »

A few years ago I was barely over 9 stone, it's only been in the past year or two I've gained more weight, but this is due to me exercising more.

I have a friend who just cant gain weight and he sees it as a huge problem. I just think - wow if I was in your position! Both sides of the coin I suppose ...

It can be a huge problem, especially when there is such a taboo surrounding guys being thin/slender.

RacoonQueen

BrianD3 wrote: »

"The BMI thing" LMAO. A measure recognised and used by scientists, statisticians, epidemiologists, researchers and other medical professionals. But nevermind them.

You say to someone who works in allied health and is also a qualified personal trainer. BMI has very limited uses. Many people in the fields you mentioned above don't consider it a good measure whatsoever. But nevermind them...

calibelle

Sexiest man I've ever known is well over 6ft and quite chubby he is so confident and self assured that it just makes him seem so attractive!

squeakyduck

I'm 9 and a half stone and around 5'6ish. I like skinny guys. I've dated skinny guys, my current boyfriend is 7 and a half stone and 5'6 and he eats like a pig, :mad: He's so skinny, it's quite infuriating.

Personally, looks and personality on the plate I'd pick looks, but looks usually mean dating an absolute dicck, but in my current man situation I've got the perfect ratio of looks and personality!

BrianD3

RacoonQueen wrote: »

You say to someone who works in allied health and is also a qualified personal trainer.

Well done for for stating your credentials as you see them but I think I'll stick to The Lancet and New England Journal of Medicine for information on this subject

BMI has very limited uses.

No, BMI is a reasonable indication of health for the general population and falls down for bodybuilders and some other athletes.

A recent article that I suggest you read - unless you'd prefer to stop reading as you did earlier
http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1000367

An article about the possible limitations of "the BMI thing".
http://www.theheart.org/article/733171.do

Mercy Seat

In general, I'll tend to be more immediately attracted to skinny/slender/average weight guys. That said, of my last, say, 3 lovers (over the last 4 years), 2 were overweight, with beer guts (great cuddles) and I had very little problem with that, but the third was just a little bit taller than me, and, while both our weights would fluctuate a little, never too much heavier. We both keep floating around the 60-70kg mark (me closer to 60, him closer to 70). He's got a weeee bit of a beer gut beginning to form and does make the point to exercise more when he's feeling like he's a bit fat, but find him extremely attractive.

I wouldn't hold someone's weight against them as a potential partner. I mightn't be immediately attracted to them physically, but I find that the more you get to know a person, and like them, you tend to find attractive, endearing qualities in their physical looks and mannerisms that make you see them in a whole other light.

Novella

I was just reading the tGC thread there, and one poster mentioned that he'd hope he'd have the balls to mention to his wife if she was putting on weight. So, if you were putting on weight, would you like your partner to mention it to you or would that make you uncomfortable?

Personally, I'd prefer my boyfriend to say it to me, as opposed to becoming unattracted to me, and perhaps ending the relationship on that basis.

Jenneke87

The most lovely man I ever went out with was a guy who weighed estimately 18 stone. So yeah I would.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

And just a little bit of advice to the ladies, if you see a skinny fella don't look him up and down and say "Oh my god, you're so skinny"
Would you say the same if he was fat?

But obviously yeah, you wouldn't want to be too much in either direction

ellieh1

My last partner was nearly 20 stone when we first became a couple. In the past two years he has lost about 4 stone. He gave the best cuddles ever and has managed to break my heart into a million pieces, so yeah weight isnt really an issue with me when it comes to a partner!

Ickle Magoo

Lillian Disgusting Scrabble wrote: »

And just a little bit of advice to the ladies, if you see a skinny fella don't look him up and down and say "Oh my god, you're so skinny"
Would you say the same if he was fat?

I don't know anyone who would be so insensitive and rude to say either, tbh - same old story, idiots be idiots regardless of whether it's weight or baldness or looks or figure - and that goes for either gender.