Women's attitude to "short" men

BrianD3 · 30-12-2010 1:48pm #1

Does anyone find it strange that some women who claim to support feminism and equality and to abhor violence, are drawn to men above a certain height because they claim they "want to feel protected by a big strong man". With some women going further and getting a worrying amount of satisfaction from the idea that their tall fella is hardman who could beat the crap out of a smaller man.

Personally I don't think that tall men are necessarily better protectors anyway. Many are lanky, awkward, have bad backs and give the impression that they'd go down like the Titanic after a half decent punch

Does anyone get annoyed at the terminology used to describe men who are perceived to be short. Here are a few from previous boards.ie threads and my own personal experience, maybe you can add ones that you've heard.
"smurf"
"hobbit"
"it was like being in an episode of the Borrowers"
"are you a jockey"
"they look like children"
"short fat and balding"
"angry short man syndrome, he's got a Napolean complex"
"short men have small cocks"
"shortarse compensating by driving a BMW, pathetic!"
etc. etc.

How about women who claim that they reject short men not because of lack of physical attraction but because a short couple (or a couple where the woman is taller) look ridiculous to other people. So in other words, it's not that they reject short men for their own shallow* reasons it's other people's fault that they reject them. LOL

*nothing wrong with being shallow in my view as long as the person is honest about it and doesn't make derogatory comments.

Eve_Dublin · 30-12-2010 2:05pm

It's just what a lot of women find attractive. We don't actually want the man to protect us because lets face it, Europe is hardly Beirut and I don't think women feel scared walking down your average street on a daily basis or feel the need for a personal body guard. We just don't want to be bigger than our men because we feel less feminine and most women want to feel feminine regardless of whether she's a feminist or not.

I don't mind men who are the same height as me (I'm only 5 foot 5) or even a little smaller (although that's never happened)...it's more the width. I like to be enveloped by a man, not because I'm scared (I'm currently single and am perfectly capable of taking care of myself), it's just what I find sexy.

I've never come across a man in my entire who wanted a woman bigger and brawnier than himself or had a desire to be enveloped by a tall, brawny, muscly lady...but whatever floats your boat. It's the same thing.

PeakOutput · 30-12-2010 2:09pm

no i dont find it strange and no it dosnt make me angry but thenim not a short angry man so why would it?

Eve_Dublin · 30-12-2010 2:11pm

PeakOutput wrote: »

no i dont find it strange and no it dosnt make me angry but thenim not a short angry man so why would it?

Plenty of abuse thrown at short men from other men too as you can see. Some people are mean. Get over it.

PeakOutput · 30-12-2010 2:19pm

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Plenty of abuse thrown at short men from other men too as you can see. Some people are mean. Get over it.

it really has nothing to do with being mean and everything to do with what people think is attractive

but ye your right he should just get over it

[-0-] · 30-12-2010 2:31pm

It's nature. All around us, female animals want the big strong dude for procreation.

Eve_Dublin · 30-12-2010 2:32pm

PeakOutput wrote: »

it really has nothing to do with being mean and everything to do with what people think is attractive

but ye your right he should just get over it

I know. Read my first post. Your comment was mean though. Calling someone an "short angry man" is mean.

PeakOutput · 30-12-2010 2:33pm

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I know. Read my first post. Your comment was mean though. Calling someone an "short angry man" is mean.

i understood what you meant

PK2008 · 30-12-2010 2:52pm

A lot of women are insecure, - if they are insecure of their general safety they like a big strong man, if they are insecure about their ability to socialise (i.e shy) they like an outgoing/funny man, if they are insecure about their intelligence they like an intelligent man....

....and so on, they find attractive in men something they lack in themselves (or think they lack) as a way to make up for it

PeakOutput · 30-12-2010 2:58pm

PK2008 wrote: »

A lot of women are insecure, - if they are insecure of their general safety they like a big strong man, if they are insecure about their ability to socialise (i.e shy) they like an outgoing/funny man, if they are insecure about their intelligence they like an intelligent man....

....and so on, they find attractive in men something they lack in themselves (or think they lack) as a way to make up for it

maybe in some cases but in general thats complete crap

liah · 30-12-2010 3:00pm

Interesting theories.

I prefer a taller man in the same way an awful lot of men prefer a shorter woman. It just feels better. I'm not insecure, I'm more than capable of defending myself, I don't believe one gender is better than the other, etc. It's just what I'm attracted to. I really have no control over it, just like men can't control what their 'type' is, regardless of what's PC or what isn't.

It feels more natural to be with a male who's taller than me. But it also doesn't mean that, if a guy were perfect in every other way for me, I wouldn't give him a chance, that would be absurd if I didn't. I don't expect to be perfect in every way for my partner, either.

I don't get why this one thing is such an incredibly big deal-- guys rate women on their physical attributes all the time. It works both ways.

Rycn · 30-12-2010 3:08pm

Short angry man alert.

JENNYWREN19 · 30-12-2010 3:10pm

I'm 5'2" and I hate tall men hovering over me. They don't seem to have any concept of personal space and stand far too close.

Jesus Wept · 30-12-2010 3:26pm

People are attracted to people for reasons that don't actually make much or any logical sense nowadays or in their current enviroment.
Protection would be one of these reasons. It's more the illusion of protection than actual protection.

Being careful and avoiding trouble will offer far more protection than being a cetain height and weight, having both is obviously the best of both worlds but I'd imagine females would be far more attracted to a tall broad guy who has little ability/desire to avoid trouble than a smaller guy who is careful to do so.
So it is the illiusion of protection rather than actual safety.

Obviously people are perfectly entitled to find whatever they find attractive in other people. However, slating people and being cruel is just nasty.
A lot of people who do this would be the same ones that would flip out if anyone said anything derogitary about something that was applicable to them.

Also, being cruel about someones height is pretty awful as they have almost no control over it beyond stretching regularly which might give them an extra inch or so.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 30-12-2010 3:47pm

Rycn wrote: »

Short angry man alert.

Being a short and therefore calm man I'll link you to this study rather than smash your face in like an aggro giant would.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6501633.stm

On topic I don't for a second believe women get with taller guys for 'protection' reasons. They just find taller men more attractive and feel socially awkward to look out of place with a guy even a few inches shorter than them.

What I find hilarious is that most people would call me a bastard for only wanting to be with slim women, but it is perfectly sically acceptable for a girl to insist on exclusively dating tall guys. Even though any girl can be slim if she's willing to put the effort in whereas no guy can make himself taller.

parker kent · 30-12-2010 3:48pm

liah wrote: »

I don't get why this one thing is such an incredibly big deal-- guys rate women on their physical attributes all the time. It works both ways.

I know where you are coming from. But I think that it is seen as slightly acceptable or even funny to laugh a short guy. Look at the average report about Sarkozy.

It does work both ways, but there a lot of women who can be unnecessarily harsh towards shorter guys. I started chatting to a girl on a night out (with no intention of chatting her up, we were in a long queue and I was making small talk to fill in time) and she patted me on the head and said "I don't think so shorty". And she was about 1 inch taller than me in her heels! Yes that is an exaggerated example of an extremely rude girl, but any guy that complains is automatically labelled as having "short man syndrome". Instead of it just being somebody complaining about obnoxious behaviour.

No doubt there are men who are the same towards women and I would defend any woman who complains about abuse directed at her physical attributes, but us pocket rockets have feelings too :pac:

There is a difference between being attracted to something different and the outright insults referred to in the OP. I'm not a fan of short hair on girls but I wouldn't pat a girl with short hair and say I don't think so!

liah · 30-12-2010 3:55pm

parker kent wrote: »

I know where you are coming from. But I think that it is seen as slightly acceptable or even funny to laugh a short guy. Look at the average report about Sarkozy.

It does work both ways, but there a lot of women who can be unnecessarily harsh towards shorter guys. I started chatting to a girl on a night out (with no intention of chatting her up, we were in a long queue and I was making small talk to fill in time) and she patted me on the head and said "I don't think so shorty". And she was about 1 inch taller than me in her heels! Yes that is an exaggerated example of an extremely rude girl, but any guy that complains is automatically labelled as having "short man syndrome". Instead of it just being somebody complaining about obnoxious behaviour.

No doubt there are men who are the same towards women and I would defend any woman who complains about abuse directed at her physical attributes, but us pocket rockets have feelings too :pac:

There is a difference between being attracted to something different and the outright insults referred to in the OP. I'm not a fan of short hair on girls but I wouldn't pat a girl with short hair and say I don't think so!

I know, but you could replace the word "male" with "female" and/or change "short" to "really tall" or or "ginger" or "fat" or whatever else. People get the piss taken out of them for everything you can think of, not just shortness.. you only notice this particular one because you're short, whereas a fat person would notice fat comments more because they're fat, gingers would notice ginger comments more because they're ginger, etc. etc. etc.

It's just a case of being angry with insensitive idiots, these people saying things like that about short men probably say similar things about other groups too. They're just not nice people, regardless of gender.

Galvasean · 30-12-2010 4:07pm

I also have a 'short man' story to tell. Recently I was at a gig with two (male) friends who are 6'2 and 6'3 respectively (for the record I'm 5'8). We got talking to some other people, one of them a tall girl of some 6'. The first thing she said to me was, "Why do you hang around with those two?" I was a bit puzzled so I asked her to elaborate. She then explained how she thought it was comical that a 'short' guy would keep such tall company. I informed her that despite their great height they were very nice and polite people which was more than I could say for her.
I wouldn't mind such a comment in jest by someone I knew well, but for someone I've never met before to say that to me, the first thing she ever said to me for that matter, that's just plain rude.
So apparently some women are not content with only dating taller men, but don't think it right for shorter people to associate with taller people.

parker kent · 30-12-2010 4:09pm

liah wrote: »

I know, but you could replace the word "male" with "female" and/or change "short" to "really tall" or or "ginger" or "fat" or whatever else. People get the piss taken out of them for everything you can think of, not just shortness.. you only notice this particular one because you're short, whereas a fat person would notice fat comments more because they're fat, gingers would notice ginger comments more because they're ginger, etc. etc. etc.

It's just a case of being angry with insensitive idiots, these people saying things like that about short men probably say similar things about other groups too. They're just not nice people, regardless of gender.

It is weird you wrote what you did in the first paragraph as I intended to type something similar at the end of my post, but wandered off then came back and noticed the open post and hit submit thread! People are always going to notice the comments about their own issues.

I agree with what you are saying but it is quite common to see short person references. I would argue that it is more common than other similar issues.

There is even a thread in The Ladies Lounge about this issue at the minute. I was glad to see that most posts in the thread were pretty sensible and anybody that prefers taller guys gave rational reasons (like your own above). But I'm not sure there will ever be a thread here asking men if they would ever date a woman who weighs more than they do!

But to cut a long story short (pun intended!), you are right that there are just people who are not very nice.

Galvasean · 30-12-2010 4:11pm

parker kent wrote: »

But I'm not sure there will ever be a thread here asking men if they would ever date a woman who weighs more than they do!

I'm off to make a cup of tea, then start that thread.

Knockin' down boundaries :pac:

liah · 30-12-2010 4:15pm

parker kent wrote: »

It is weird you wrote what you did in the first paragraph as I intended to type something similar at the end of my post, but wandered off then came back and noticed the open post and hit submit thread! People are always going to notice the comments about their own issues.

I agree with what you are saying but it is quite common to see short person references. I would argue that it is more common than other similar issues.

There is even a thread in The Ladies Lounge about this issue at the minute. I was glad to see that most posts in the thread were pretty sensible and anybody that prefers taller guys gave rational reasons (like your own above). But I'm not sure there will ever be a thread here asking men if they would ever date a woman who weighs more than they do!

But to cut a long story short (pun intended!), you are right that there are just people who are not very nice.

I would argue it's much more common to see the piss get taken out of fat people, virgins, gingers, ugly people, etc. than to see the piss get taken out of short people, but I can't say that for sure as I'm average sized for a girl at 5'5 so maybe I'm just not seeing it, but equally I'm not fat, a virgin, a ginger, or particularly hideous so why would I notice them more and not shortness?

But again, this is just me and my own anecdotal evidence, which is obviously not worth anything.

I'm also fairly sure I've seen very similar threads about whether or not men would date a taller girl, and it's incredibly common to see men make comments about women's weight (not AS common imo in the reverse but it does happen), etc.

Again, not trying to imply men are worse or whatever. Just sticking with the 'people are idiots and if they're going to make fun of one group they're probably doing it to everyone' thing.

parker kent · 30-12-2010 4:33pm

I would say that in my experience, men are more likely to comment on women when talking to other men. That is probably extremely obvious, but the point is that they are less likely to actually say it to the woman's face. And the short jokes are seen as less offensive than weight remarks, so they are said to the guys face. So there are probably the same amount of remarks made, just they are made in different ways. The fat, ugly etc remarks you talk about are obviously pretty common in general culture and come out in TV shows, movies etc. That is not to say that those remarks are not made in person by some people either. Where there are idiots, there will be idiotic comments.

But that is in my own experience, so as a guy who is not ginger or fat, I am not not likely to ever get abuse for being a ginger, fat woman. But I'd always have sympathy for people who get stick for anything. And it is not as if any of the remarks made to me or that I have read have had any real effect on me, other than irritating me for a short period. So it is not a big deal per se, just yet another chapter to the people can be horrible knobs book.

Josh_Calvert · 30-12-2010 4:34pm

women are completely hypocritical...that's point one.they can pick and choose male qualities but we can't flow it back the other way without being shallow or sexist

BUT in general height is a huge deal for women as it's an indicator of genetic health,social status, and testosterone levels in utero.

I'm 5ft 11 1/2 " and I still wear my **** off boots on dates to get past 6ft...personally it's a huge turn on to date a woman taller than me or taller than me in sexy shoes.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 30-12-2010 5:29pm

Josh_Calvert wrote: »

BUT in general height is a huge deal for women as it's an indicator of genetic health,social status, and testosterone levels in utero.

Not sure about that testosterone levels part. I've heard index:ring finger ratio can indicate that but I don't think height would.

Eve_Dublin · 30-12-2010 5:34pm

Josh_Calvert wrote: »

women are completely hypocritical...that's point one.they can pick and choose male qualities but we can't flow it back the other way without being shallow or sexist

We get a LOT more abuse and insults and derogatory comments made about our physical appearance than man so excuse us if we might get a little tetchy or sensitive sometimes.

Men are perfectly entitled to choose a woman based on their physical appearance and every woman knows that they do, hence the effort we put into our appearance when trying to attract a man..it's just the nasty comments we don't like.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 30-12-2010 5:48pm

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

We get a LOT more abuse and insults and derogatory comments made about our physical appearance than man so excuse us if we might get a little tetchy or sensitive sometimes.

The point is men who do that are generally thought of as scum if they do that to a girl. Though its generally cool for women to laugh at short men.

Look at Galvasean's story. That kind of attitude is not unusual to get as a short guy. Though try and think of any physical attribute a person could say something like that about to a girl, without people thinking that person was deeply nasty.

Larianne · 30-12-2010 5:56pm

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

The point is men who do that are generally thought of as scum if they do that to a girl. Though its generally cool for women to laugh at short men.

Look at Galvasean's story. That kind of attitude is not unusual to get as a short guy. Though try and think of any physical attribute a person could say something like that about to a girl, without people thinking that person was deeply nasty.

Generally cool to laugh at shorter men? Says who? People who do that are idiots.

When I read Galvasean's story I first thought what a tool. :rolleyes: I would never comment on somebody's height or general appearance unless I knew them well and we were on the same page and got the joke.

Idiots who slag people off because of their height are gonna be the same idiots who slag a girl/guy because she/he might be slightly overweight or a guy/girl who might have a spotty face etc. etc.

Eve_Dublin · 30-12-2010 5:59pm

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

The point is men who do that are generally thought of as scum if they do that to a girl. Though its generally cool for women to laugh at short men.

Look at Galvasean's story. That kind of attitude is not unusual to get as a short guy. Though try and think of any physical attribute a person could say something like that about to a girl, without people thinking that person was deeply nasty.

In fairness, I've heard a lot more abuse thrown at men from OTHER men about their physical appearance. Men give each other nicknames based on a negative aspect on their appearance and that's seen as acceptable (I think it's cruel). Anyone who does it, male or female, are plain nasty and are not cool, at least in my world. Not sure which world that would be acceptable tbh.

liah · 30-12-2010 6:00pm

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

The point is men who do that are generally thought of as scum if they do that to a girl. Though its generally cool for women to laugh at short men.

Look at Galvasean's story. That kind of attitude is not unusual to get as a short guy. Though try and think of any physical attribute a person could say something like that about to a girl, without people thinking that person was deeply nasty.

I think it's more a case of people don't think it'll bother a man as much so they feel they can get away with more, which is perpetuated by the stereotype that men should be hard and hide when they feel vulnerable that many men still feel bound by, whereas with women it's much more acceptable for them to take a stand. I'm not saying it's right, it's not at all-- but it takes both genders to stop perpetuating that stereotype, there's no sense blaming women for being able to react and men not, it takes men to bring these issues to the forefront and try to actively change it, too.

amacachi · 30-12-2010 6:00pm

Larianne wrote: »

Generally cool to laugh at shorter men? Says who? People who do that are idiots.

When I read Galvasean's story I first thought what a tool. :rolleyes: I would never comment on somebody's height or general appearance unless I knew them well and we were on the same page and got the joke.

Idiots who slag people off because of their height are gonna be the same idiots who slag a girl/guy because she/he might be slightly overweight or a guy/girl who might have a spotty face etc. etc.

Happens plenty. I have to say though that shortness is something that I don't think I've used in a slagging match. There is one guy I refer to as a short-arse because I've no other way to differentiate between him and his friends and would rather not learn his name. :pac:

Morrigin · 30-12-2010 6:02pm

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

The point is men who do that are generally thought of as scum if they do that to a girl. Though its generally cool for women to laugh at short men.

Look at Galvasean's story. That kind of attitude is not unusual to get as a short guy. Though try and think of any physical attribute a person could say something like that about to a girl, without people thinking that person was deeply nasty.

Short lady here who has been told countless times by men in pubs/niteclubs that my only use is for a place to put a pint - and get a laugh from everyone rather than be thought of as scum.
So it's not not unusual to get those comments from men either.

Women's attitude to "short" men

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