Let's Talk About Weight In Partners.

Catari Jaguar

Calipers test ftw

Anyways. I lost 2 stone, my bloke lost 2 stone. Neither of us skinny now. Healthy yea, but I want to be slender and toned. I preferably want him to be a little more muscular/ ripped.

As for girls I think slim and toned is preferable. Even a curvy celeb like Gloria from Modern Family is still thin despite the boobs/ ass.

johnr1

artzy_man wrote: »

Okay stop both of ye.

Whether Russel brand is a normal weight or not...in that last pic he does look quite 'skinny', simple as. I don't care about the words used to describe someones weight. We all have a rough estimate of whats fat/skinny, leave it at that.

Oh man, you're gonna get shot for this

artzy_man

I know it's a little OT but I think one of the problems with guys (Dunno about the gals) with more weight is not the physical more weight thing, its just the low self esteem and low confidence that they can generally have.

I was like a stone and a half bigger than I am now about four months ago and since then I have much more confidence/self esteem. I have learned, maybe wrongly(!), that the problem can be just one holding themselves back and having no confidence...hence they can make themselves 10x more unattractive then they actually think they are !

liah

I'd rather a little extra weight than being underweight. On that scale picture someone posted earlier I've been with each end of the spectrum.

Ideally though I'd just like a healthy weight that suits his shape.

I'm of slender build - it's something that runs in my family and losing weight rapidly due to unfortunate circumstances didn't help matters much. At 5'10 I am about 11stone.

yosser hughes

Deleted User wrote: »

At 5'10 I am about 11stone.

Nothing wrong with that at all. You are not underweight.

A few years ago I was barely over 9 stone, it's only been in the past year or two I've gained more weight, but this is due to me exercising more.

Rockery Woman

I dont think weight and attractiveness are always linked.

My husband is of slim build and very tall, but men I dated previously were of differing shapes and sizes.

I know one guy who is 6'5", weighs 100kg, has a bit of a belly on him - but damn it - he is HOT!!!!

Hes lucky Im not single.... cos Id pounce on him!:D

artzy_man

Deleted User wrote: »

A few years ago I was barely over 9 stone, it's only been in the past year or two I've gained more weight, but this is due to me exercising more.

I have a friend who just cant gain weight and he sees it as a huge problem. I just think - wow if I was in your position! Both sides of the coin I suppose ...

It can be a huge problem, especially when there is such a taboo surrounding guys being thin/slender.

RacoonQueen

BrianD3 wrote: »

"The BMI thing" LMAO. A measure recognised and used by scientists, statisticians, epidemiologists, researchers and other medical professionals. But nevermind them.

You say to someone who works in allied health and is also a qualified personal trainer. BMI has very limited uses. Many people in the fields you mentioned above don't consider it a good measure whatsoever. But nevermind them...

calibelle

Sexiest man I've ever known is well over 6ft and quite chubby he is so confident and self assured that it just makes him seem so attractive!

squeakyduck

I'm 9 and a half stone and around 5'6ish. I like skinny guys. I've dated skinny guys, my current boyfriend is 7 and a half stone and 5'6 and he eats like a pig, :mad: He's so skinny, it's quite infuriating.

Personally, looks and personality on the plate I'd pick looks, but looks usually mean dating an absolute dicck, but in my current man situation I've got the perfect ratio of looks and personality!

BrianD3

RacoonQueen wrote: »

You say to someone who works in allied health and is also a qualified personal trainer.

Well done for for stating your credentials as you see them but I think I'll stick to The Lancet and New England Journal of Medicine for information on this subject

BMI has very limited uses.

No, BMI is a reasonable indication of health for the general population and falls down for bodybuilders and some other athletes.

A recent article that I suggest you read - unless you'd prefer to stop reading as you did earlier
http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1000367

An article about the possible limitations of "the BMI thing".
http://www.theheart.org/article/733171.do

Mercy Seat

In general, I'll tend to be more immediately attracted to skinny/slender/average weight guys. That said, of my last, say, 3 lovers (over the last 4 years), 2 were overweight, with beer guts (great cuddles) and I had very little problem with that, but the third was just a little bit taller than me, and, while both our weights would fluctuate a little, never too much heavier. We both keep floating around the 60-70kg mark (me closer to 60, him closer to 70). He's got a weeee bit of a beer gut beginning to form and does make the point to exercise more when he's feeling like he's a bit fat, but find him extremely attractive.

I wouldn't hold someone's weight against them as a potential partner. I mightn't be immediately attracted to them physically, but I find that the more you get to know a person, and like them, you tend to find attractive, endearing qualities in their physical looks and mannerisms that make you see them in a whole other light.

Novella

I was just reading the tGC thread there, and one poster mentioned that he'd hope he'd have the balls to mention to his wife if she was putting on weight. So, if you were putting on weight, would you like your partner to mention it to you or would that make you uncomfortable?

Personally, I'd prefer my boyfriend to say it to me, as opposed to becoming unattracted to me, and perhaps ending the relationship on that basis.

Jenneke87

The most lovely man I ever went out with was a guy who weighed estimately 18 stone. So yeah I would.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

And just a little bit of advice to the ladies, if you see a skinny fella don't look him up and down and say "Oh my god, you're so skinny"
Would you say the same if he was fat?

But obviously yeah, you wouldn't want to be too much in either direction

ellieh1

My last partner was nearly 20 stone when we first became a couple. In the past two years he has lost about 4 stone. He gave the best cuddles ever and has managed to break my heart into a million pieces, so yeah weight isnt really an issue with me when it comes to a partner!

Ickle Magoo

Lillian Disgusting Scrabble wrote: »

And just a little bit of advice to the ladies, if you see a skinny fella don't look him up and down and say "Oh my god, you're so skinny"
Would you say the same if he was fat?

I don't know anyone who would be so insensitive and rude to say either, tbh - same old story, idiots be idiots regardless of whether it's weight or baldness or looks or figure - and that goes for either gender.

Ickle Magoo

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I don't know anyone who would be so insensitive and rude to say either, tbh - same old story, idiots be idiots regardless of whether it's weight or baldness or looks or figure - and that goes for either gender.

Unfortunately so many people do it. I once had someone come up to me and comment on how if I were a woman, I'd have the perfect figure.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Deleted User wrote: »

Unfortunately so many people do it. I once had someone come up to me and comment on how if I were a woman, I'd have the perfect figure.

Ditto, is happens alllll the time. And you can tell they dont really mean anything by it, just that its ok to say whatever the eff you like cos you're not fat. And you're allowed to bitch about skinny

Princess Peach

My fear about skinny guys is that they'll constantly be thinking about how I'm fatter than them :P Was with a guy before who was about my weight and very conscious of it because he competed in sport. I did feel it put a bit pressure on me when he would talk about his weight a lot. I just felt that if he's so conscious about his weight, he definitely was noticing when my weight fluxuates.

I guess my point is I just would like a guy who is comfortable with his weight? With being overweight I just guess health and lifestyle would be an issue for me.

I do think I'm more attracted to guys who have a kind of athletic build, but I'd give any guy a chance if he was nice

The_Morrigan

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I don't know anyone who would be so insensitive and rude to say either, tbh - same old story, idiots be idiots regardless of whether it's weight or baldness or looks or figure - and that goes for either gender.

Always happens...
I was massively overweight years ago and I've dropped a few dress sizes,its soul destroying when you've managed to lose a stone or 3, get all delighted that you've done so well and think you look great (or better than you did) and some knob end knocks your confidence by being mean.
I'm never going to be a size ten, its not in the family genetics so if I drop one or two more dress sizes I'll be happy.

Ickle Magoo

Deleted User wrote: »

Unfortunately so many people do it.

That's my point - people do it. I can't remember a night out that didn't involve a guy commenting on some aspect of my person at some stage and that's been going on since I hit puberty - and I'm sure every other woman would say likewise. Idiots are idiots, there is no reason to make a general appeal here like it's something we would all do.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

That's my point - people do it. I can't remember a night out that didn't involve a guy commenting on some aspect of my person at some stage and that's been going on since I hit puberty - and I'm sure every other woman would say likewise. Idiots are idiots, there is no reason to make a general appeal here like it's something we would all do.

This is true, people who do are a**holes. But you do get people who would never call someone overweight who would happily point out to everyone how skinny someone is and put them on edge.
IME I have never heard anyone who wasn't a teenage delinquent call someone fat to their face

Princess Peach

Lillian Disgusting Scrabble wrote: »

This is true, people who do are a**holes. But you do get people who would never call someone overweight who would happily point out to everyone how skinny someone is and put them on edge.
IME I have never heard anyone who wasn't a teenage delinquent call someone fat to their face

My parents have But in the nicest possible way!

Don't think I've ever had a stranger do it though. Pretty sure thats something I'd remember. Had a million people tell me how they noticed how much weight I have lost, which I interpret as they noticed I was a bit fat before :P Could be wrong though!

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Princess Peach wrote: »

My parents have But in the nicest possible way!

Don't think I've ever had a stranger do it though. Pretty sure thats something I'd remember. Had a million people tell me how they noticed how much weight I have lost, which I interpret as they noticed I was a bit fat before :P Could be wrong though!

They just mean you look good. Really. Always take the most positive likely meaning, makes life sweeter

Princess Peach

I have often said, how skinny is that guy! And I've especially said it about girls! But I don't think I've ever said it to anyones face, thats just rude.

Anyone who says that is either mean/ a moron IMO.

Ickle Magoo

Lillian Disgusting Scrabble wrote: »

This is true, people who do are a**holes. But you do get people who would never call someone overweight who would happily point out to everyone how skinny someone is and put them on edge.
IME I have never heard anyone who wasn't a teenage delinquent call someone fat to their face

I just don't think that is true, or at least certainly not IME - I think it more likely that not being fat you don't hear a lot of those comments and being slim, you pick up on a topic you are sensitive about. I've heard people being called fat PLENTY times - and often they were nothing like fat, it seems to be a common tool to use for lashing out at women that has good odds of hitting the offensive spot.

I have a female friend who is a stunner and has a large chest and what she regularly gets called is just unbelievable - and seems to stem from an innate insecurity that someone like her wouldn't look twice at them - and of course coming out with some of those clangers, they'd be dead right. I also have a friend who is just shy of 6"5 and she too gets all manner of "jokes" and comments. I've come to the conclusion that some people just have no social awareness filter that lets them know what is and isn't appropriate and what is likely to end up making them look like a royal tool - again, their issue.

For the record, I've found/find men of all different shapes and sizes sexy.