Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

Everytime we hang out, which is rare now, youre not very 'present', its like you dont want to be there, you stay for half an hour, rush me and get annoyed with me like im forcing you to be there, when I ask you if everythings ok or point out that you seem a bit on edge, you come up with some random reason for why youre behaving that way. You subtly belittle me by talking over me, making everything I say about you & I find myself rushing to finish sentences to point were im stumbling over my words because you seem agitated & bored when I talk about myself or something going on in my life. Youre always so self absorbed in our interactions & generally quite mean and its very draining, I leave your company feeling worse than I did before meeting up with you and friendships shouldnt consistently leave you feeling like that. You just make no effort at all & im remembering now why I stopped making time for you all those years ago & why you have no other friends. If youre annoyed at someone whose been nothing but nice to you, it's you thats the problem so meeting up and sitting there in a bad mood and putting that on me like ive done something wrong isnt how I want to spend an afternoon or a night out & its not something I can talk to you about because you'll make yourself out to be victim. Im pulling back from the friendship now, its not worth my effort or time.

Ages ago, when I was deep in connection with you, I went on an interstate trip. I stayed in a regional location, messaging you often. It was a strange, strange experience. I had lunch and then walked back to my room, intending to have a swim. I saw a guy walking up towards me on the other side of the small road. For some reason he caught my eye - maybe it was the beard. I began to feel lightheaded but wasn’t sure why and kept on going. I changed into my swimsuit and got into the pool, which was small, deep and shatteringly cold. By that stage I felt very peculiar. I barely made it out of the pool and back to my room. I think I was very lucky to make it. Then everything was both swirly and out. I could swear there were several men in the room, doing things to me. I don’t remember dinner and I felt very sore and odd as I headed off to do my work the next day. I’ve wondered since then what exactly happened, and who arranged it. It has stayed with me as a very unpleasant almost memory. If you don’t remember it, did something bad still happen? Yes, I definitely think so. The body keeps the score.

Thankyou...thankyou for 'teaching' me that no matter what I say or do it will not be listened too or considered because of my position..

But I already knew that. Thanks anyway ☺️

Mary,

You told me that I was the most difficult person you had in your 25 years to deal with, almost like I didn't want to follow your guidance. And that when I encountered bad behaviour in several workplaces towards me, that it was in some way MY fault.

Mary, you have my profile, you knew my labels and it would only have taken a Google search to find out why the impact of those labels would mean your suggestions were unworkable no matter how many ill throughout workarounds you suggested. Positive thinking does not pass driving pre-tests the same way that JUST FOCUSING on the material in hand overcomes sld-based memory issues.

I know you have been in your job for ages, so out of standard workplaces on a day by day, but even with that it should not be a shock to you that ppl who are in dead-end jobs who are board/unfulfilled WILL treat badly/bully the Newby who is different in any way, especially if that they trying to pass as normal.

If you haven't learned by now, that ppl who are bored and that way inclined WILL attempt to bully their "mark", where have you been? It's a basic life experience but you saying that makes me wonder if the reason you don't know this, is because you have always been the bully in those situations?.

C,

I could never ever see why ppl though you were sooooo wonderful, so kind, pretty, obliging etc.

I saw you rolling your eyes when I had an issue with the machine I wasn't trained to use, the way you pretended to not hear when I was given out to by boss bc you had not finished your work and I was expected to make up the data in some way. Those were just the incidents I had time to look around and see you two revel in my difficulties.

Now as I'm venting, I'll add that I heard and understood each of the comments made about the fit of my trousers(I'm sure you have seen by now that a lot of women my age prefer not to show all our gynaecology using the fit of our jeans)

You and P were by a mile at least, the worst pair at hiding the fact that the boss was telling you it was ok to treat me the way you both did. Also, do you know how it looked to everyone there(more importantly how it reflected on you) when you didn't introduce me to your much-talked-about bestie and boyfriend?

As for the hyper-casual(bitchy/smarmy) way you and P said bye to me when I left for my hols that last time was such a giveaway that there were storms ahead. Thus robbing your idol of what she felt was her advantage in stabbing me in the back while I was not there to defend myself or prove my case.

An aside, pretending to be busy when I leave for the day as you do not want to offer me a lift, was such a waste of energy as I never wanted to share a car with you two going in the wrong direction to me anyway!

I hope that your girls have recovered from your hands-off and dismissive style of dealing with ppl and by proxy, family!

After almost a decade and two countries away, I still can't figure out why ppl didn't see you as the scheming, dismissive, lazy, co-bully you were in our time as "teammates"!

Ps as you would know given your fondness for American office speak, "There is no I in team" unless c wanted there to be one.

Posting here the other week reminded me of you tina,

Did you stay friends with H (as she would have been so handy to have as a free bed when you came down east)?

I woke up the other night laughing to myself, so tks for that. It's so funny to me that you knowingly made it impossible for me to cook when I have finished lectures, but then was moaning to H about where I was getting the money to "eat out"! it takes a certain type of person to annoy themselves about something they were causing to happen by their own actions.

Btw, that comment I made to you about H charging her vibrator and not wanting to have separate bills for ebs/heating oil, was meant to be passed on and sure enough, I wasn't one bit surprised when she suddenly decided that she would go along with the idea. I can only assume that she was indeed charging her vibrator using communal electricity for this purpose which motivated her to change her mind so quickly.

Complaining to H snr that I hadn't cleaned one saucepan to your satisfaction when I have lodged plenty of complaints about you not cleaning them at all, fooled no one, and it reflected so badly on you. Targeting a grieving person for one slip-up might have seemed cool but it was petty.

I very much doubt that you have outgrown these traits given your determination to make sure your life didn't change, so I'll pass this to you so you can teach your grandkids, if you want to point the finger at the person in the group with a known memory issue, double check they hadn't left the house 24+ hours ahead of when the water was turned and left on for the rest of the weekend. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy days indeed tina.

I still really hurt and upset. I feel like a fool. I believed and fell for everything. And I was the only one who was being genuine. I feel like such an idiot but still I miss u.

Dear Y,

I spoke to you last week after you sent me that message. After what you told me I gave you some advice. So today I contacted you to find out how you are. You then told me what your doing this week. I knew then that you refused to listen to my advice.

At this stage I have decided to just step back and say nothing. I can't solve your current problem and being honest it a problem entirely of your own making. I can't help you when you are unwilling or unable to make changes or listen to advice. It's your decision now to continue with what your doing. Your going to have to deal with the fallout this will protentally bring to you over say the next 6 months and in the long term. Other people in your life can step up and deal with you and what happens then.

K

Mick told me about the convo you and he had.

Lolled that a grown man thinks I'm chasing him when:

You picked up your phone when you could see I was calling.

I called to wish you luck with your fundraiser, as I said at the top of the call(I never thought you would pick up)

I'm known for my compassion for ppl in impossible sits such as the ppl you are fundraising for.

But never forget that I didn't get my hair done when we went out for Chinese that time. The reason I wasn't worth another phone call for years and years.

just this