Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

gggggggggg

You wrote before that you tried to fix things between us.

You actually never tried to fix anything. You never had a good or a kind word to say in any of your 1000s of messages of abuse. It was all insults, mocking me, accusations of jealousy towards you, threats to shame me to all and sundry, naked pictures of yourself and pictures in your underwear to show me how much I'm supposed to be missing. The least you could have done was put on a clean bra. Is that really appropriate conflict resolution? Please look to yourself to see nasty. You tried to push and control things to go your way and your way only instead of leaving space between us. Space that you wanted too. Sort your head, your mood and your feelings out please because I'm not responsible for you being so unhappy. I've never seen anyone as poisonous and as revengeful as you. I know you loved calling me a hypocrite too but also look at yourself. Be thankful that you are walking around free. Get fcuked if you think you are going to drag me down with you for another 5 or 10 years. You belong in prison for all that you've done. Other people have been arrested for a lot less. The answers you are looking for is not in my hands. It's over between us and has been for a long time.

Airyfairy12

RIP beautiful girl. It was lovely knowing you even if it was only for a short time. My heart breaks for you, you didnt deserve this. x

gggggggggg

You're very quick to diagnose personality disorders in others. What makes you qualified? Seriously, what makes you qualified? You're not a doctor in mental health or psychotherapy or anything near it. If you're so experienced in diagnosing personality disorders in others, look inwards to yourself because your own personality and behaviour is also nasty.

Antares35

Dear parents

I've given you so many chances to show you care about me but you've failed at every one of them. It is clear to me that your adopted son means more to you than your own flesh and blood. Perhaps you should have stopped at one child, if you weren't capable of loving two.

When I told you that I had been abused, you tore yourselves in two trying to protect the abuser. You victim blamed me for not speaking out as an innocent child. You called me an elder abuser because I was rightfully angry with you for taking his side. You called me an alcoholic because your treatment of me was so bad that drinking was the only way I could numb my grief.

Although we are still on speaking terms, that is only because it makes life easier for me. Don't mistake it for a concession or an endorsement of your behaviour. I consider myself divorced from my family.

I have realised in good time that family comes in many different forms, and we are not tied to those we grew up with.

I am proud of myself for overcoming everything that has crossed my path, without the support of the people who were supposed to protect me. I've educated myself, got a good job and have strong, loyal and functional relationships with my friends, co-workers and, most importantly, my fiancé. I am happy that I have healed enough to allow a wonderful man to love me, unconditionally, and to be the father of my child.

Unlike you, if my daughter ever told me someone hurt her, I would never welcome that person into her home, out of decency, and respect for her. I'm sorry that you couldn't afford me the same basic right, to be safe and loved.

I used to play into your games and buy your sob stories because you are old and I worried about having things on my conscience if you passed away. I don't hope that you die, because I'm not like that, but I know now that if you do die, it doesn't mean I was wrong to stand up for myself, and I have nothing to feel guilty about anymore.

I know I will be a better parent than either of you were.

Oink

Dear wife, I’m a lucky man. I’ll try and get around to telling you again in the next few days. I wish I was one of those feckers with sunshine coming out of their árse but you seem to tolerate me somehow.

Cutie18Ireland

how has it been 11 weeks already miss you everyday

Sardonicat

The longing is fading now. Your memory has found the place in my heart it was meant for and it's a comfortable fit.I will dare to believe your assertion. Until then....

Antares35

Dear OH

I'm sorry I've been an insufferable cow lately. I've made you feel like you never do anything, and that what you do is never good enough. You're an amazing, patient man and I feel very lucky to be with you.

Sometimes I miss our "old life" where we'd beat around wine bars like silly teens, and where we could travel to nice places at the drop of a hat. But I wouldn't change our daughter for the world, and I know you feel the same.

okiss

Dear Y

I want to ask you who do you think you are? Do you think I deserve the way you have treated me?
Do you think that I am stupid or gullable when you keep making excuses not to call to my house or meet me following covid rules?
We have not been on lockdown the whole year. You used covid and so many excuses at this stage.
Yet we both know that you have met X more than once over the past few months. Did you feel embarrassed the day you bumped into me when you were with her despite telling me you staying at home a lot of the time due to covid?

Can you remember what your life was like a few years ago? Do you remember the struggles you had? Who was their for you back then? Who stepped in and went above and beyond helping you out then?

Where were you when I needed some one this year? Could you not once step up and give me something to look forward to? I thought with Xmas you make some effort but no. At this stage we are going into another lockdown so it's wait and see what happens next.
The truth is that the whole covid thing will be over in time due to the vaccine.

You should know that unless you start to make some effort for me, I have no intention of dropping all for you when this whole covid thing dies down/ends.

Dark Phoenix

Today, you made me feel alone and sad. The saddest part is I did nothing to deserve it. All I asked a few years ago was that you blocked the number of the person you betrayed me in the worst way for so to find out today that you are still in contact with them and have no remorse for your actions is unacceptable. The fact that you can never apologise and admit what you did is unacceptable. The fact that you refused to speak to me for the rest of the evening is unacceptable. The truth is that you are a gaslighting alcoholic abuser with no remorse and all the excuses in the world. I have reached the stage where I will hold my head high and refuse to cry or break in spite of it all as I just won’t give you that satisfaction anymore. Your behaviour has only illustrated that in your eyes cheating, lying, gaslighting and systematic control via constant passive aggressive put downs are acceptable so let’s see how it feels when the boot is on the other foot

Airyfairy12

Why is it so hard for you to just have a conversation about anything? When we're seemingly getting along youre contrived and patronising. At your worst you manipulate, lie & gaslight.
When in a group, you whisper to other people, single someone out and make mean 'jokes' about them like youre 12, trying to get other people to join in with you. When no one joins in or someone responds in a way you dont like, you storm off for attention licking your own wounds feeling sorry for yourself.
Its so draining and hurtful.

jellybear

It was surreal to hear your voice again after so many years. I'm so happy you found your way in life and that you're doing what you love. You sound so happy and full of enthusiasm. It was lovely to listen to.

LilacNails

M.

U know it was strange u contacted me Friday .. The day 1 year previous I went through that *event*. The day I got so sick, so scared, u didn't ask ur boss if u could leave work to bring me to the Dr after I rang u crying in pain.

I had to drive myself, in such pain I had to pull over to the side of the road and was so close to ringing an ambulance. I was so scared. I was in so much pain. And u let me down.

And like a fool I met you with u and said nothing about it. I think I thought I was over it, but because I don't think I ever felt so much pain in my life, I had to drive myself.... On my own.... No one else to call.

Our secret. As like as it didn't happen.

I think I'm so much more hurt than I let on. I feel like I like u get away with that. That was such a **** thing to do. To not do. To not..... Mind me, look after me.... I feel like a piece of ****.

I'm so let down, and u get away with it.

Hello. We did up a 25 person guest list at the weekend just in case. You were one of the names to go from my side. I miss you. You had gotten in touch with me a year ago. We spoke about your job interview and how you would be a "real person" Almost 40 and you finally getting your act together Sure aren't I the same.

Do you remember that time you 'coached' me before a first date? I had the great (terrible) idea of recording it on my phone and then you listening afterward to give me advice
Jaysus. Or the time we cycled around Stephens Green acting the eejit. My first time on a bike in about 25 years.

As always I hope you are happy.

waxmelts2000

6 years ago today , I went to the CUMH to be told no heartbeat, baby gone.

6 weeks and 2 days but it was not meant to be . Thinking of you my baby , today and knowing that it was my only chance to become a mother. Tough day today.

neutral bystander

Ok. I remember how this goes now.

LegacyUser

im sorry. i always cared. you know that. you know i was concerned about all of us. if it didnt seem like it i did it was because i couldnt communicate it and i thought you wanted me to leave and i could see how i could make things better. i know your in pain and i wanted to communicate that to you but i didnt know to do that.

Sunny Dayz

They say that to make new friends as you get older try to join a club or a group. Your group is lovely with nice people in it but I’ve come to learn that they are not my friends. Acquaintances, friendly, people I know - but not my friends. It’s clear that outside of the group chat there are private chats that I’m not a part of.

LegacyUser

Dear P,

I see you are married now so I'm not sure why this even matters.

You asked me five years ago who I liked in the room. I know what you meant. And you knew it was you. But your girlfriend of a month (now wife) stood behind you as you asked. It would have been wrong for me to be honest. I hoped that if you felt the same way that you would do the right thing and leave her. But you were hedging your bets. I do hope you are both happy now. And I do hope I can let go of the regret of lying to spare L too. I wish I didn't still care after all this time.

Airyfairy12

You said to me that 'Groups of women cant be friends because women are bitchy' - No, youre wrong! Groups of women can be friends, you can't be friends with groups of women because you are always the bitch in the group, you say nasty things behind your 'friends' backs and even to their faces depending on your mood and who youre with. Every female friend group youve been apart of has fallen apart because of you. Women leave the friend group because they no longer want to put up with your bitchiness. You pick one person in the group to be really close to and drive a wedge between them and their other friends. You think you can excuse your behavior because youre a woman and 'all women are bitchy'. No theyre not!

Kitty6277

I miss you I know it's corona times but I can't help but wish that you'd break the rules to see me. Three months (and counting!) is far too long to go without seeing your SO and I just wish I wouldn't have to wait indefinitely

I miss our friendship. I feel bad for wanting you to chat like you used to when I know you struggle. But then I think to myself how hard can it be to just respond with a "hello" or "how are you". Is that really so difficult?

I don't expect you to be constantly available. I know what it's like to have a friend who expects so so much and who is suffocating.
You used to share the happenings in your life with me and now you share nothing. That's sad

Antares35

I'm sorry I'm treating you like ****. I'm going through a hard time and I know you don't get it because we are so different.

[Deleted User]

I have no words to say to that.

Airyfairy12

So I have hardley heard from you in months, you contact every so often, once a month or so to meet up but any time I contact you you bearly respond to my messages and youre always too busy to meet so I took a step back. Its not unlike you to let me down, youve been doing it forever and I dont know why ive put up with it, maybe because we have such a long history!
Last year you were going through a hard time, your two close friends saw you were vulnerable and turned on you, they were nasty and cruel when you needed them the most. I came back into your life and stuck by you, hung out with you nearly everyday because you didnt want to be alone, I even went on holidays with you during which you decided everything we did even down to when and where we went for breakfast, lunch, dinner & drinks. I comforted you when you were crying your eyes out over the year youd had, I listened to you talk about your problems every single day.
No your back with your ex, made up with your two friends and youve completely discarded me, youve done to me what they did to you. Every time this has happened over the years I swear never again but then you come back with a sad story and youre so manipulative I fall for it, youve taken advantage of my good nature too many times and im totally fed up of it. You clearly think so little of me. This time I dont think theres any recovering from this. Youve closed the door on our friendship for the last time and the next time you need something, dont even try to get in touch with me because I wont hold back in telling you were to go!

sammyjo90

Thanks for allowing me to stay in our apartment...how the fck am i meant to live and walk around this empty place now...how do i get used to this?

Jolene84

Just stop and think before you talk, you are so direct. If it’s not your business stop poking your nose in.

You have been so good to me over the years, but I can see your mouth will get you in trouble.

I was told last week you were texting B asking her personal questions. Something that happened that had no impact on your life.

Keep your mouth shut

Lavinia

4 and half years was enough.. I am ready to leave.. and to start something new.. eventually.. please don't try to stop me like few times before as.. I can't stay this time.. this time its really over.. I have to step forward to a place with no you.. you say you feel this deep contentedness with me but the thing is.. I do not feel that towards you anymore.. not like this.. just .. time of getting over you starts today.. I'm done..

Deja Boo

...just another brick in the wall.

jellybear

You'll be fine and it will be so worth it!!! I promise