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Embarrassing sexual antics

2456

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 11,704 ✭✭✭✭ Princess Peach


    Gag reflex....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,741 Asphyxia


    Me and my boyfriend got caught by guards one night doing some naughty stuff.


  • Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 23,061 Mod ✭✭✭✭ GLaDOS


    Chair fell on her head halfway through :D

    Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test



  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,468 ✭✭✭ Celly Smunt


    Gag reflex....

    thats sexy ya weirdo


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,008 stevoslice


    mate of mine tore his frenulum, twice. Serious ouchies!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 491 ✭✭ spitfireIRL


    Gag reflex....

    Did ya gawk?!:eek:


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,838 Nulty


    I thought the "wrong hole" was a common one...obviously not :o


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭ stryker mcqueen


    Just as i came i let a god awful fart :o ( still my girlfriend 1 year later :cool: )


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 613 Misanthrope


    It's not really sexual but, I was in the living room trying to remove an ingrown hair from my back passage using a cucumber, when my wife and kids came home unexpectedly early from shopping and saw me.

    Now they're all convinced I'm gay because the Tivo just happened to be paused on a Baywatch episode where David Hasselhoff is in the shower and Barbara Streisand just happened to be playing on the hi fi.

    My best friend Ted was very offended and simply put his clothes on picked up his cucumber and left without saying a word.Never saw him again:mad:


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,113 ✭✭✭ flyton5


    I ****ed my neck up in the middle of roiding last summer. Absolute agony. Trapped a nerve in my neck and had to get her to drop me home. Awkward having her help me in the door of my ma's gaff(was temporarily living back there) and having to introduce them. The ma was a bit shocked as I was 21 at the time and the girl was about 30...


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,586 ✭✭✭ policarp


    A fiend of a friend got caught in a vaginismus situation.
    Had to get another friend to call the doctor to have them uncoupled...


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,556 Deus Ex Machina


    I was having sex with a woman once and then suddenly I realise that I am Ted Bundy and that she had been dead for over a year!

    Boy, was my face red!


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭ bronte


    I am a klutz.
    I came over all stepford wife one Sunday morning and brought himself breakfast in bed....just to be nice like.
    Anyway...I started kissing him and after a while one thing led to another.
    Long story short I knocked his damn cup of coffee that had been on the bedside table all over his boy-parts.

    Poor fcuker. :o


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 32,865 Mod ✭✭✭✭ pickarooney


    Kitten decided to launch an attack on my shiny white ass.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,430 testicle


    This thread is a thanks-whore's wet dream!


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,615 ✭✭✭✭ whiskeyman


    testicle wrote: »
    This thread is a thanks-whore's wet dream!

    Because they love a good thumbs up...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 118 ✭✭ shebango


    whiskeyman wrote: »
    Because they love a good thumbs up...

    Da dummm tsssshhhhhh


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,426 The_Minister


    mcdoogle wrote: »
    Idiot ex girlfriend put her bed back together upside down with the the hard bit that supports the mattress on the ground and the soft bit that has no support under the mattress. The mattress was very thin as well. (no idea why she had taken it apart, think she was painting the room or something)

    One night shortly after starting to see each other we did the deed on her bed. The mattress crashed through the bed and resulted in us struggling to get out of the remains of the bed when her da came running in to see what happened.......

    Was an interesting year!
    sacramento wrote: »
    It took them a year to free you!?


    Be honest, who else immediately thought of the Chilean miners?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 613 Misanthrope


    I was having sex with a woman once and then suddenly I realise that I am Ted Bundy and that she had been dead for over a year!

    Boy, was my face read!

    At least it was a woman son.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 613 Misanthrope


    Pocketfizz wrote: »
    Me and my boyfriend got caught by guards one night doing some naughty stuff.

    Was there a gimp and a basement involved?I hope so.


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  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 32,865 Mod ✭✭✭✭ pickarooney


    Be honest, who else immediately thought of the Chilean miners?

    I was thinking about the Galway U-21s, but that's a whole other story.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 17,374 ✭✭✭✭ Conor Bourke


    Me on top, being quite enthusiastic... til I pitched forward a little too hard and hit my head off the wall. Knocked clean out. When I came round had no idea what had happened, but thankfully had the presence of mind to persuade my bf not to bring me to A&E, seeing as I was a nurse there at the time!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,823 ✭✭✭✭ smash


    Me on top, being quite enthusiastic... til I pitched forward a little too hard and hit my head off the wall. Knocked clean out. When I came round had no idea what had happened, but thankfully had the presence of mind to persuade my bf not to bring me to A&E, seeing as I was a nurse there at the time!
    I presume he just let you fall down and he continued while you were out for the count?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,207 ✭✭✭ FoxT


    A whole new meaning to 'giving head'


  • Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭✭ twebb


    It's not really sexual but, I was in the living room trying to remove an ingrown hair from my back passage using a cucumber, when my wife and kids came home unexpectedly early from shopping and saw me.

    Now they're all convinced I'm gay because the Tivo just happened to be paused on a Baywatch episode where David Hasselhoff is in the shower and Barbara Streisand just happened to be playing on the hi fi.

    My best friend Ted was very offended and simply put his clothes on picked up his cucumber and left without saying a word.Never saw him again:mad:

    dont know how to thank threads/posts but i have to say that made me laugh... lordy


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,586 ✭✭✭ policarp


    twebb wrote: »
    dont know how to thank threads/posts but i have to say that made me laugh... lordy

    Just click on the thumb up icon, bottom right of post...


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,810 ✭✭✭ Mackman


    Myself and the ex were gettin jiggy one night, while i was down below she got very excited and farted, the pong was horrible :(

    Waited for it to dissapate, then finished the deed :cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 longhalloween


    Ex of mine busted her head on the shelf above my bed.

    And i thought those were good moans...


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,586 ✭✭✭ policarp


    testicle wrote: »
    This thread is a thanks-whore's wet dream!

    You must have some good stories.
    One testicle an' all that.


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  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 17,374 ✭✭✭✭ Conor Bourke


    steve06 wrote: »
    I presume he just let you fall down and he continued while you were out for the count?

    AH answer: Yes
    Real answer: no, the poor fooker got an awful fright. I came round to myself within seconds but was horribly confused. He lived 2 hrs away so we didn't get to see each other as much as we'd have liked. When I came round the last thing I could remember was coming home from a 12 hour shift and being too tired to go out and talking to him on msn. Next thing I know we're nekkit in my room and I've a horrid sore head but I should be out in the pub. Very confusing :pac:


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