Embarrassing sexual antics

scientific1982

Anyone had any embarrassing sexual experiences that the couldnt share in real life. Ive had two types.
1. Getting caught giving myself a helping hand when my mother walked in. Words cannot describe the regret and horror felt by all.
2. Dose of Mr Floppy. Does wonders for the egos of both parties.

Degag

Yore ma was **** you off???!!!

recylingbin

Got caught having thrush.
Boy, was my face red.

Snakeblood

scientific1982 wrote: »

Anyone had any embarrassing sexual experiences that the couldnt share in real life. Ive had two types.
1. Getting caught giving myself a helping hand by mother. Words cannot describe the regret and horror felt by all.
2. Dose of Mr Floppy. Does wonders for the egos of both parties.

Done that. Also having sex in a Cinquecento for 2 people over 6 foot I feel is less embarassing than deserving some sort of award for physics.

KeithM89_old

In Portugal, went into the wrong apartment. Owner came back and was NOT happy to see us

scientific1982

Degag wrote: »

Yore ma was **** you off???!!!

Must be more careful with my wording.

Rocky_Dennis

Snakeblood wrote: »

Done that. Also having sex in a Cinquecento for 2 people over 6 foot I feel is less embarassing than deserving some sort of award for physics.

Are you gay? Not too many wimmin over 6 foot.

alwaysadub

Commenting on his hardness,only to discover it was actually the gear stick i was feeling.

Oh,and having some poor old man having to knock on a car window to tell us we were on private land and would we mind driving down the road a bit. Dunno who was more embarrassed, us or him.

Snakeblood

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

Are you gay? Not too many wimmin over 6 foot.

Nope. But cheers for the interest!

Rocky_Dennis

Snakeblood wrote: »

Nope. But cheers for the interest!

No bother

I used to have two single beds in my room, but I pushed them together to make a double bed.

Well with the OH in the heat of the moment she fell in between them as they separated since they were on wheels.

bigneacy

sacramento wrote: »

I used to have two single beds in my room, but I pushed them together to make a double bed. .

romantic...

talla10

Poppin' out at a crucial stage of an extra hard thrust (for her pleasure :P)....the pain of it :eek: 3 years later i still walk with a limp and speak at a slighly higher pitch

mcdoogle

Idiot ex girlfriend put her bed back together upside down with the the hard bit that supports the mattress on the ground and the soft bit that has no support under the mattress. The mattress was very thin as well. (no idea why she had taken it apart, think she was painting the room or something)

One night shortly after starting to see each other we did the deed on her bed. The mattress crashed through the bed and resulted in us struggling to get out of the remains of the bed when her da came running in to see what happened.......

Was an interesting year!

mcdoogle

mcdoogle wrote: »

Idiot ex girlfriend put her bed back together upside down with the the hard bit that supports the mattress on the ground and the soft bit that has no support under the mattress. The mattress was very thin as well. (no idea why she had taken it apart, think she was painting the room or something)

One night shortly after starting to see each other we did the deed on her bed. The mattress crashed through the bed and resulted in us struggling to get out of the remains of the bed when her da came running in to see what happened.......

Was an interesting year!

It took them a year to free you!?

Guill

Finding out i was with a transexual!:D

I_Am_The_Walrus

Guill wrote: »

Finding out i was with a transexual!:D

You seem happy about that...

scientific1982

mcdoogle wrote: »

Idiot ex girlfriend put her bed back together upside down with the the hard bit that supports the mattress on the ground and the soft bit that has no support under the mattress. The mattress was very thin as well. (no idea why she had taken it apart, think she was painting the room or something)

One night shortly after starting to see each other we did the deed on her bed. The mattress crashed through the bed and resulted in us struggling to get out of the remains of the bed when her da came running in to see what happened.......

Was an interesting year!

That must have been brutal. Her father walkin in.

scientific1982

talla10 wrote: »

Poppin' out at a crucial stage of an extra hard thrust (for her pleasure :P)....the pain of it :eek: 3 years later i still walk with a limp and speak at a slighly higher pitch

Im always mindful of that. Must be very painful.

An ex of mine "lost" a toy temporarily inside of herself.

policarp

While fingering one of my many conquests, I was asked to remove my ring.
Oops I said that's not my ring that's my wristwatch.

smash

talla10 wrote: »

Poppin' out at a crucial stage of an extra hard thrust (for her pleasure :P)....the pain of it :eek: 3 years later i still walk with a limp and speak at a slighly higher pitch

Happened to me when I was 17, my ex ran to get my mam but we had family over. I ended up in hospital after an interogation by family members where I had to pretend my apendix was hurring me. After an hour of poking and prodding the nurse came out to tell my mam and my ex I was ok, but no sex for 2 weeks. It was an awkward moment!

Guill

steve06 wrote: »

Happened to me when I was 17, my ex ran to get my mam but we had family over. I ended up in hospital after an interogation by family members where I had to pretend my apendix was hurring me. After an hour of poking and prodding the nurse came out to tell my mam and my ex I was ok, but no sex for 2 weeks. It was an awkward moment!

God almighty! It's like a scene from American Pie!

recylingbin

sacramento wrote: »

An ex of mine "lost" a toy temporarily inside of herself.

An incident I think we can all recall and one which ensured she has never been invited back to the Late Late Show.

Hazys

I_Am_The_Walrus wrote: »

You seem happy about that...

Probably because he woke up thinking he slept with a man the night before and now he was a ghey...but low and behold it was a transexual so the hetrosexual staus remains intact (barely)

LouieWalsh

Ok guys, long story short.

I thought I was with Edward, only to find out later it was Really John!

Them two little scallywags!

ninjasurfer1

talla10 wrote: »

Poppin' out at a crucial stage of an extra hard thrust (for her pleasure :P)....the pain of it :eek: 3 years later i still walk with a limp and speak at a slighly higher pitch

popping out??

Professey Chin

ninjasurfer1 wrote: »

popping out??

Yep.popping out then thrusting right into the pelvis.ow ow ow ow

Fago!

Girl I was ridin was so hammered she fell asleep during. Apparantly it's happened many a time before to her, with 2 other guys. We musta been awfully boring!

Celly Smunt

Fago! wrote: »

Girl I was ridin was so hammered she fell asleep during. Apparantly it's happened many a time before to her, with 2 other guys. We musta been awfully boring!

chloroform isn't an aphrodisiac

dr ro

heard about a guy once who had a career ending thrusting mishap when he thrust straight between her legs and hit a wall. Real Serious damage.

Princess Peach

Gag reflex....

Asphyxia

Me and my boyfriend got caught by guards one night doing some naughty stuff.

GLaDOS

Chair fell on her head halfway through

Celly Smunt

Princess Peach wrote: »

Gag reflex....

thats sexy ya weirdo

stevoslice

mate of mine tore his frenulum, twice. Serious ouchies!

spitfireIRL

Princess Peach wrote: »

Gag reflex....

Did ya gawk?!:eek:

Nulty

I thought the "wrong hole" was a common one...obviously not

stryker mcqueen

Just as i came i let a god awful fart ( still my girlfriend 1 year later :cool: )

Misanthrope

It's not really sexual but, I was in the living room trying to remove an ingrown hair from my back passage using a cucumber, when my wife and kids came home unexpectedly early from shopping and saw me.

Now they're all convinced I'm gay because the Tivo just happened to be paused on a Baywatch episode where David Hasselhoff is in the shower and Barbara Streisand just happened to be playing on the hi fi.

My best friend Ted was very offended and simply put his clothes on picked up his cucumber and left without saying a word.Never saw him again:mad:

flyton5

I ****ed my neck up in the middle of roiding last summer. Absolute agony. Trapped a nerve in my neck and had to get her to drop me home. Awkward having her help me in the door of my ma's gaff(was temporarily living back there) and having to introduce them. The ma was a bit shocked as I was 21 at the time and the girl was about 30...

policarp

A fiend of a friend got caught in a vaginismus situation.
Had to get another friend to call the doctor to have them uncoupled...

Deus Ex Machina

I was having sex with a woman once and then suddenly I realise that I am Ted Bundy and that she had been dead for over a year!

Boy, was my face red!

bronte

I am a klutz.
I came over all stepford wife one Sunday morning and brought himself breakfast in bed....just to be nice like.
Anyway...I started kissing him and after a while one thing led to another.
Long story short I knocked his damn cup of coffee that had been on the bedside table all over his boy-parts.

Poor fcuker.

pickarooney

Kitten decided to launch an attack on my shiny white ass.

testicle

This thread is a thanks-whore's wet dream!

whiskeyman

testicle wrote: »

This thread is a thanks-whore's wet dream!

Because they love a good thumbs up...

shebango

whiskeyman wrote: »

Because they love a good thumbs up...

Da dummm tsssshhhhhh

The_Minister

mcdoogle wrote: »

Idiot ex girlfriend put her bed back together upside down with the the hard bit that supports the mattress on the ground and the soft bit that has no support under the mattress. The mattress was very thin as well. (no idea why she had taken it apart, think she was painting the room or something)

One night shortly after starting to see each other we did the deed on her bed. The mattress crashed through the bed and resulted in us struggling to get out of the remains of the bed when her da came running in to see what happened.......

Was an interesting year!

sacramento wrote: »

It took them a year to free you!?

Be honest, who else immediately thought of the Chilean miners?

Misanthrope

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

I was having sex with a woman once and then suddenly I realise that I am Ted Bundy and that she had been dead for over a year!

Boy, was my face read!

At least it was a woman son.

Misanthrope

Pocketfizz wrote: »

Me and my boyfriend got caught by guards one night doing some naughty stuff.

Was there a gimp and a basement involved?I hope so.