Online Dating

duke916 · 07-12-2011 3:38pm

I dunno, been on there for a few months now. One or two dates that didnt hit it off. A lot of them seem to have different agenda's or love the attention. Had some weird experiences on there so far. Makes me think the online thing is just a pain in the bum. i wouldnt be one to sit there for hours on end on the site, but ya still see the same faces on there .... obviously for a reason me thinks.

wobblyknees · 07-12-2011 4:49pm

It strikes me that POF allows people to take the lazy approach to dating. I also get the impression that a lot of people throw profiles up as it is so easy to do, and for free, for a bit of 'feedback'. Maybe I am wrong, but those are my initial thoughts on it so far anyway.

Misticles · 07-12-2011 5:13pm

I havehad various experiences with POF, all normal though. I would prefer it over OKC any day. Its far too intricate for me. So much information, like what are you to talk about if yuo know EVERYTHING from their profile!

duke916 · 07-12-2011 5:15pm

it might be a 'lazy' option to some but for others (such as myself) its another avenue if your rubbish at approaching girls in pubs/clubs. i would say though that the novelty of signing up to a dating site becomes monotonous after a few days.

wobblyknees · 07-12-2011 5:16pm

Misticles wrote: »

I havehad various experiences with POF, all normal though. I would prefer it over OKC any day. Its far too intricate for me. So much information, like what are you to talk about if yuo know EVERYTHING from their profile!

I can understand where you are coming from but I would suggest that POF leans more towards being a beauty contest.

wobblyknees · 07-12-2011 5:17pm

duke916 wrote: »

it might be a 'lazy' option to some but for others (such as myself) its another avenue if your rubbish at approaching girls in pubs/clubs. i would say though that the novelty of signing up to a dating site becomes monotonous after a few days.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive, just passing comment on the sheer number of poorly filled out profiles.

Misticles · 07-12-2011 5:19pm

wobblyknees wrote: »

I can understand where you are coming from but I would suggest that POF leans more towards being a beauty contest.

LOL so OKC is for the eh not so nice looking then?

I kid I kid

wobblyknees wrote: »

Sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive, just passing comment on the sheer number of poorly filled out profiles.

I bypass empty/poorly filled out ones.
If they can't be bothered to fill it out it says a lot about the person.

duke916 · 07-12-2011 5:25pm

wobblyknees wrote: »

Sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive, just passing comment on the sheer number of poorly filled out profiles.

god not at all

no offense taken. i have my profile 75% filled out. obviously i dont have everything up there otherwise there would be nothing to talk about eventually once the profile type interview is over. think it can be an element of extra positivity when the person your talking to has that something extra in common when mentioned.

when someone writes 'xxxxxxxxxxxx' into the 'about me' section' there is nothing to really email about if you have an interest. Poorly filled out profiles can be disappointing as you get the impression they dont take it seriously. Then again, there are that many clowns on the site, you have to take it with a pinch of salt anyway.

Misticles · 07-12-2011 5:28pm

duke916 wrote: »

god not at all no offense taken. i have my profile 75% filled out. obviously i dont have everything up there otherwise there would be nothing to talk about eventually once the profile type interview is over. think it can be an element of extra positivity when the person your talking to has that something extra in common when mentioned.

when someone writes 'xxxxxxxxxxxx' into the 'about me' section' there is nothing to really email about if you have an interest. Poorly filled out profiles can be disappointing as you get the impression they dont take it seriously. Then again, there are that many clowns on the site, you have to take it with a pinch of salt anyway.

You could write,

hello,

Are you aware that there are other letters in the alphabet besides x?
If not, I think you are too yound to be on a dating site :rolleyes:

duke916 · 07-12-2011 5:29pm

bloody good answer

Misticles · 07-12-2011 5:33pm

duke916 wrote: »

bloody good answer

At this stage, I know how to write a message for all online dating scenarios

albeit some not worth the keystrokes

duke916 · 07-12-2011 5:37pm

would you say women have too much choice on these sites?
I dont know how many times ive been chatting to girls for a few days and 'ppoofffff' they just disappear! I revert to the last emails i had sent and i couldnt see any reasons why they wouldnt acknowledge. didnt ask anything personal or otherwise to throw them off.

One of my (many) experiences on the site was chatting to a girl, arranged a date for say friday. she text and cancelled, changed it to saturday. then saturday came, she cancelled to sunday. so sunday i get a text telling me she went out with a guy on both friday and saturday (when we were supposed to go out) and asked me what i thought of that?! i didnt reply because well, what was the point. but from other situations i get the impression pof is a virtual sausagefest.

wobblyknees · 07-12-2011 6:04pm

Misticles wrote: »

LOL so OKC is for the eh not so nice looking then? I kid I kid

I bypass empty/poorly filled out ones.
If they can't be bothered to fill it out it says a lot about the person.

Haha. You know what I mean, there are many beautiful women on both sites, the issue is the lack of information. It really is a case of 'how you doin?' with POF I think, whereas with okc or maybe other paid sites, maybe there is more of an incentive to spark up an actual conversation.

Misticles · 07-12-2011 6:35pm

duke916 wrote: »

would you say women have too much choice on these sites?
I dont know how many times ive been chatting to girls for a few days and 'ppoofffff' they just disappear! I revert to the last emails i had sent and i couldnt see any reasons why they wouldnt acknowledge. didnt ask anything personal or otherwise to throw them off.

One of my (many) experiences on the site was chatting to a girl, arranged a date for say friday. she text and cancelled, changed it to saturday. then saturday came, she cancelled to sunday. so sunday i get a text telling me she went out with a guy on both friday and saturday (when we were supposed to go out) and asked me what i thought of that?! i didnt reply because well, what was the point. but from other situations i get the impression pof is a virtual sausagefest.

I wouldnt say women have too much choice. I would be very picky about who I would go on a date with so I am limiting myself right there. I could tell you my list of requirements but I wont

Well she obviously went on a date, hit it off, went out again and then was deciding to be a cnut to get you off her tail so she could pursue this other guy. There was no need for her actions at all. A simple, I've met someone would have sufficed there.

Do you find that you don't have enough women to choose from as in its the same people popping up all the time?

wobblyknees wrote: »

Haha. You know what I mean, there are many beautiful women on both sites, the issue is the lack of information. It really is a case of 'how you doin?' with POF I think, whereas with okc or maybe other paid sites, maybe there is more of an incentive to spark up an actual conversation.

ye ye, luckily I'm not on OKC so I wont take offence :P
Lack of information look so out of place on OKC cos there's too much to fill in, you could sit your LC quicker than doing a profile on that thing.

If they have nothing and you still think they're hot sure start the conversation anyways, you will soon find out whether the empty profile said it all or that they are just really shy/1st time online daters and havn't a breeze on what to say and afraid they'll be seen by someone they know and have the mickey taken out of them. I'm sure they will fall into any of those

parker kent · 07-12-2011 7:30pm

Misticles wrote: »

I havehad various experiences with POF, all normal though. I would prefer it over OKC any day. Its far too intricate for me. So much information, like what are you to talk about if yuo know EVERYTHING from their profile!

See that is the thing. I like that information/detail and other people that like that are probably more likely to have a similar attitude to me. I'd be slightly put off by somebody finding it too much effort to fill out the profile.

I wouldn't say you know everything either, it is just a starting point. I'd rather a long profile over one that is 50 characters and says "If you want to know anything, ask me".

Misticles · 07-12-2011 8:47pm

parker kent wrote: »

See that is the thing. I like that information/detail and other people that like that are probably more likely to have a similar attitude to me. I'd be slightly put off by somebody finding it too much effort to fill out the profile.

I wouldn't say you know everything either, it is just a starting point. I'd rather a long profile over one that is 50 characters and says "If you want to know anything, ask me".

I wouldn't like a fairly empty one either but I hate long ones.. I won't read them! and its not out of laziness!

parker kent · 07-12-2011 9:18pm

Misticles wrote: »

I wouldn't like a fairly empty one either but I hate long ones.. I won't read them! and its not out of laziness!

I don't see the profiles on OKCupid as being that long though. It's a few hundred words in total. You are not writing a thesis.

Misticles · 07-12-2011 9:29pm

parker kent wrote: »

I don't see the profiles on OKCupid as being that long though. It's a few hundred words in total. You are not writing a thesis.

I know but seem people go to extremes, 1 being writing nothing and the other being writing everything including what they had for brekkie. Most people seem to have a good profile though - only a minority who do this.

secret agent · 08-12-2011 12:26am

As a girl on POF, I have made it pretty clear on my profile that I'm interested in meeting someone who wants a relationship should we hit it off. I'm sick of guys mailing me, only to see in their profile that they 'want to date but nothing serious' or 'don't want any form of commitment' ....arghh...read the profile before u message!

I have met some really nice genuine guys on pof who have been absolute gentlemen but more recently I'm realising that there are so many who really just want sex and NSA fun....and that's fair enough if they're upfront about it in their profile... but there are others who are not so honest about their intentions and act all interested until a date is arranged but really it's just about getting a sh*g at the end of the night. I feel like I've been so naive about it till now...

That's not to say that all guys on POF are like that....I have messaged and met so many guys who I'm 100% sure were genuine/sincere. And guys, I've no doubt there's plenty of girls who've messed u around... so i know there's two sides to this!!

Anyway moral of this rant - say it like it is, pretty please!!

Sorry just had to get that off my chest..rant over...thanks for listening!!

stargazer 68 · 08-12-2011 10:17am

'Women have too much choice'
Think that depends on how old you are to be honest. I see a lot of people in their early 20's and younger using the site - I would never have used a dating site at that age - wouldn't have had to.

Finding now though (in my 40's) that a lot of men around my age have come out of relationships and are just wanting to 'sow their wild oats' again! Well not with me they wont!

duke916 · 08-12-2011 10:39am

Misticles wrote: »

I wouldnt say women have too much choice. I would be very picky about who I would go on a date with so I am limiting myself right there. I could tell you my list of requirements but I wont

Well she obviously went on a date, hit it off, went out again and then was deciding to be a cnut to get you off her tail so she could pursue this other guy. There was no need for her actions at all. A simple, I've met someone would have sufficed there.

Do you find that you don't have enough women to choose from as in its the same people popping up all the time?

i agree, it is a dating site after all, we all know the game and how its played. if your not suited then fair enough, no harm done. simple as that. both people have to click, not just one. but its the game playing, keeping you on a string til someone better perhaps comes along or just simply not being straight up that puts a negative spin on things. 'your a nice guy and all but...' . 'yep no worries. was nice meeting you, thanks for a good night, best of luck.' but it never goes like that. any girl ive talked to say they have heaps of emails each day, but perhaps one guy is as doomed as the next for amount of choice females have. 'oh i like him, but im gonna go out with the next 10 guys to see if i click better...'
from what ive learned here so far is that its quite the opposite for guys so that does say to me there are a lot more males than females on pof.

i am quite picky to be honest. but i wouldnt waste mine or anyone else's time by goin on a date when i knew it wasnt goin to work. im sure everyone else would be the same. i do think there is a lot of 'serial daters' on there though. can spot them a mile away after a couple of weeks. they're obviously single for a reason.

seeker11 · 08-12-2011 10:52am

i am quite picky to be honest. but i wouldnt waste mine or anyone else's time by goin on a date when i knew it wasnt goin to work. im sure everyone else would be the same. i do think there is a lot of 'serial daters' on there though. can spot them a mile away after a couple of weeks. they're obviously single for a reason.[/Quote]

Hi!
Just wondering what happens if you went on a date you thought was going to work .....and it didn't?
Also, would you be willing to share your tips on spotting serial daters?

Misticles · 08-12-2011 10:53am

duke916 wrote: »

i agree, it is a dating site after all, we all know the game and how its played. if your not suited then fair enough, no harm done. simple as that. both people have to click, not just one. but its the game playing, keeping you on a string til someone better perhaps comes along or just simply not being straight up that puts a negative spin on things. 'your a nice guy and all but...' . 'yep no worries. was nice meeting you, thanks for a good night, best of luck.' but it never goes like that. any girl ive talked to say they have heaps of emails each day, but perhaps one guy is as doomed as the next for amount of choice females have. 'oh i like him, but im gonna go out with the next 10 guys to see if i click better...'
from what ive learned here so far is that its quite the opposite for guys so that does say to me there are a lot more males than females on pof.

i am quite picky to be honest. but i wouldnt waste mine or anyone else's time by goin on a date when i knew it wasnt goin to work. im sure everyone else would be the same. i do think there is a lot of 'serial daters' on there though. can spot them a mile away after a couple of weeks. they're obviously single for a reason.

Ye but just because they get bombarded with emails each day dosnt mean they will date them all. If I got 10 a day say, I would maybe like at max 2! This is down to: when I scoped out the profile it was krap or we were looking for different things, I didnt find the attracative.

Would you ratehr get 10 mails from 9 people you have no interest in or 2 from people you would be? Also a lot of those mails are, "Hey babz, hw r u?, wna hk up 2ni?" or some other illegible gick!

One thing I find hard is a guy messages me, he has no pics, a few messages are exchanged and the pic is sent and its like uh oh, not my cup of tea at all, what is acceptable to say to them?

There would be a lot of serial daters looking for their free dinner and drinks ha It reminds of friends where Phoebe had a few dates and she said " A girls gotta eat", women could be of that mindset or they could be like some men on there just looking for NSA but don't wanna say so in their profile as they dont wanna come across slutty or whatever.

@seeker

if you go on a date and think you really hit it off then the dreaded text or email comes, you take it on the chin and chalk it down to experience. Peoples online persona is different than their real life one as some people have less vulnerability online.

stargazer 68 · 08-12-2011 10:57am

Misticles wrote: »

One thing I find hard is a guy messages me, he has no pics, a few messages are exchanged and the pic is sent and its like uh oh, not my cup of tea at all, what is acceptable to say to them?

.

Yeah hate that. I tend to keep replies to people with no pics short and simple - dont get into long conversations!

Misticles · 08-12-2011 11:03am

Dovies wrote: »

Yeah hate that. I tend to keep replies to people with no pics short and simple - dont get into long conversations!

True but if you really get on like and the conversation flows, can't help but feel disappointed...

I say everyone on online dating here should meet up and see what happens :cool:

could be awkward afterwards though :pac:

timmy880 · 08-12-2011 11:38am

Dovies wrote: »

Yeah hate that. I tend to keep replies to people with no pics short and simple - dont get into long conversations!

Im surprised you reply tbh. Nearly every girls profile I've seen usually says no pic no reply!!

Misticles · 08-12-2011 11:45am

timmy880 wrote: »

Im surprised you reply tbh. Nearly every girls profile I've seen usually says no pic no reply!!

Some people won't put a pic up out of fear they will be recognised so sometimes you gotta chance it.

timmy880 · 08-12-2011 11:48am

Misticles wrote: »

Some people won't put a pic up out of fear they will be recognised so sometimes you gotta chance it.

Thats an interesting point but I never got the whole "fear of being recognised" issue. If you're spotted by someone on a dating site then they're on it too... And also there is no shame in being there. Its just another way to meet people and half our lives are lived through the internet anyway! May as well take the chance and put up a pic!

MudSkipper · 08-12-2011 11:52am

Misticles wrote: »

Some people won't put a pic up out of fear they will be recognised so sometimes you gotta chance it.

Yep and sometimes they have 'private' pics that they can attach to a message...

Misticles · 08-12-2011 11:53am

timmy880 wrote: »

Thats an interesting point but I never got the whole "fear of being recognised" issue. If you're spotted by someone on a dating site then they're on it too... And also there is no shame in being there. Its just another way to meet people and half our lives are lived through the internet anyway! May as well take the chance and put up a pic!

I know, it dosnt bother me in the slightest as everyone is there for the same reason.

You can browse profiles without being a member though and herein lys my point... mr x isnt on POF but dedides he will have a browse at some profiles and he sees a girl he works with and office gossip starts... or a an ex.. etc people will factor all this in before they decide on putting a picture up.

@Mudskipper, I generally have these, I will have 1 pic on my profile and will attach the rest in a message.

Online Dating

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