The Funny Side of not being straight.

Legend_Steph

I haven't really any funny stories as the majority of my friends found out that I'm a proud lesbian through my Facebook on a status that I wrote one day
(Was easier that way for me at the time) and are to this day completely accepting of who I am. Example: Last year I met up with a friend from primary school who at the time haven't seen for 7 years. Got talking about the love lifes etc. and I decided to bring up the subject of an ex girlfriend who I regret immensely and said to her something along the lines of "Yeah....I'm gay..." after telling her what happened. Her reply?? "Ah sure I know. You're just another one of my gay mates!" I felt so proud that she didn't have any issues with it! Was dreading that moment thinking after 7 years it would be completely awkward and she wouldn't talk to me again but just yesterday I met up with the friend again and as it always does with us we got talking about the love life again and she paid full attention and gave me advice when I talked to her about a girl that I have feelings for. (Not the ex I despise!)
My Mum is completely accepting. Instead of saying "You will find your prince charming" she says "You will find your princess" I haven't told my grandparents and I don't think I ever will....They are quite religious and my grandmother gave me a lecture and was disappointed in me when I told her I was an Athiest. I had a chance to tell an Uncle of mine but as we were heading to a comedy show I felt that if he was awkward about it, sitting through 2 hours of a show beside him would be the worst.
I'm sorry about my lecture now. My story/rant over. Hope everyone is good.

Babybuff

Legend_Steph wrote: »

My Mum is completely accepting. Instead of saying "You will find your prince charming" she says "You will find your princess"

My mother, despite talking to her about seeing other women repeatedly, insists I just needed a good ride. She still does. She used work across the street from my house and stopped in regularly for a cuppa after work. One day as per usual she again suggested going out and finding a man, at which point I figured I'd just shut her up and said why would I do that when I've got plenty of women to keep me occupied already (tongue in cheekishly) She practically gargled her tea with the fit of shock and my sister who was collecting her beeped outside just at the same time. She got up laughing and eeewing simultaneously and proceeded to walk out the front door with a full cup of tea in her hand.
She phoned me about ten minutes later to apologise for taking the cup, she only realised she was still holding it by the time she got home.


(I get that a lot though)

Legend_Steph

My Mum was the exact same when I first came out to her. I knew since I was 16 but officially came out to the majority of people when I was 17 (I'm 20 now). At the start I had the usual "All you need is to find a nice man...." "You're just going through one of those phases...." But my Mum realised that I was being serious and as I've said before has accepted me and is always there for me when I need girlfriend advice.

Pedant

A typical gay communist ... proving that capitalism is a much better alternative.

stephen_n

Pedant wrote: »

A typical gay communist ... proving that capitalism is a much better alternative.

Was that the runner up for the Russian Eurovision entry?

Y.O.L.O

i suppose the funniest story to do with me coming out went like this

in college i have a good friend who is gay too, and he and i had gone to some gay clubs a couple of times after i came out. one night i had a bad experience where i had been kissing this guy and he started to do things downstairs i wasn't comfortable with. i walked away and told my friend. being the good friend he is, decided to slag me about this no end.

we were in a lab in college one day, and he was still slagging me about it. my lab partner is a good friend too but didnt know i was gay. she asked what my friend was slagging me about, but i didnt tell her because it was so embarrassing.

i walked off for a few minutes to do something when i came back she had written 'pokey pokey' on my lab manual. she knew the story and that i was gay and just started laughing at me.

An Cuinneach

Me: [Name] I'm gay.
[Name]: But...but...you have a beard?
One of the funniest moments of my year as a 15 year-old.

Killer_banana

I never really came out to my brother properly but never hid it either. I don't see him that often and we never discuss relationships so I never had an opportunity to broach the subject. I met him in McDonalds the other day and he said he had seen my relationship on facebook (it only took him almost a whole year). After asking if my parents knew, how long we'd been together etc. etc. he said 'So is there anything else I missed from never being home? Have you become a vegetarian or anything?'

libnation

Thats very funny and all BUT how did you have a beard at 15?!

L.Jenkins

I was rocking one myself in 2nd and 3rd year and the stick I got for it was amusing.

Aurongroove

As swiftly as a drunk middle aged woman can perform fine motor functions in a boisterous pub did I find myself handcuffed to a hen by her party gang a few nights ago.
Once captive they pulled me away from my friends and forced me to ritualistically dance and pose for photos but their victory was short lived. I had to sheepishly say "sorry ladies, you cuffed the only gay in the bar"

The sort of 'maddest' friend then when "AW!" and tried for ages to undo the cuffs.
When after two minutes she finally did she asked me "which one of these aren't gay" (pointing to my friends)

which I answered "all straight, the guy in the middle is single and the two either end are taken"
And off they went to capture my poor straight, single friend and attach him via the handcuffs to the principle hen.
As they approached my friend (who witnessed my previous capture) he looked at me and immediately figured out what must've transpired and what I had done. He looked at me like I'd pointed him out of an identity parade for a crime he didn't commit. :pac:

Good craic!:D

An Cuinneach

libnation wrote: »

Thats very funny and all BUT how did you have a beard at 15?!

Puberty hit me like a truck :rolleyes:

keepkeyyellow

'that's funny, usually the cat attacks men, maybe it's cause you're a gay'

Aurongroove

I've got that thing with cats too.
even stay cats trust me more then they do other people.

LegacyUser

When a dentist is working on you're teeth and you're trying to keep a casual expression as her boobs lean slightly against you.Then you feel bad for objectifying a woman who is clearly very very smart and you don't want to make her feel uncomfortable :embarrased:

Babybuff

LidlLady wrote: »

When a dentist is working on you're teeth and you're trying to keep a casual expression as her boobs lean slightly against you.Then you feel bad for objectifying a woman who is clearly very very smart and you don't want to make her feel uncomfortable :embarrased:

when you're at the optician and she makes you look into the eye thingy and you're thinking sweet baby jebus she's staring into my very soul and you know your eyes are too dilated for your own good.

Medusa22

My mother cut her hair quite short and I told her it looked nice. Then she said 'I don't know, I think I look like a dyke'. She looked at me and she was completely embarrassed and I started laughing so she did as well.

fizzyorange

The funniest for me was back when I was 16 and had short Bieber-like hair (oh the shame) and wore lots of baggy shirts.

Anyway a rat exterminator was out our back and he put down these poisonous blocks. When I came down the stairs he was chatting with my nan and he turned to me and said "Alri son you have to be careful now, that poison I left out the back is very dangerous." and he then proceeded to ask if the "lovely girl in the pictures in the kitchen" was my sister. My nan and I just had to play along, and she was absolutely fuming when he left.

At the time is was a bit annoying, but now that I look back I see that I really did look like an effeminate boy so his mistake was fair enough.

Coeurdepirate

fizzyorange wrote: »

The funniest for me was back when I was 16 and had short Bieber-like hair (oh the shame) and wore lots of baggy shirts.

Anyway a rat exterminator was out our back and he put down these poisonous blocks. When I came down the stairs he was chatting with my nan and he turned to me and said "Alri son you have to be careful now, that poison I left out the back is very dangerous." and he then proceeded to ask if the "lovely girl in the pictures in the kitchen" was my sister. My nan and I just had to play along, and she was absolutely fuming when he left.

At the time is was a bit annoying, but now that I look back I see that I really did look like an effeminate boy so his mistake was fair enough.

Ah, another non-straight LCer to join me and patchy >: )

fizzyorange

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

Ah, another non-straight LCer to join me and patchy >: )

I've actually noticed a few LCers have posted in this forum too. Okay by a few I mean one other really. :pac: But still.

Pedant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzhBbRGwSa4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiTElt9qfy0

Captain Graphite

Pedant

New favourite all gay band - Pansy Division.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NafUYrPJK-U

bp1989

A little while after I came out my mother asked: "Do gay people play sport?"

floggg

bp1989 wrote: »

A little while after I came out my mother asked: "Do gay people play sport?"

My bro's response to me telling him I was gay was "but how? You like sport."

Chuchoter

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

Ah, another non-straight LCer to join me and patchy >: )

I see how it is couer, I don't even MATTER. :mad::P

whattotdo

bp1989 wrote: »

A little while after I came out my mother asked: "Do gay people play sport?"

When I used to play soccer,people used to say,how are you so good,aren't you gay?!

df1985

floggg wrote: »

My bro's response to me telling him I was gay was "but how? You like sport."

My mates are like that with me. Im "the worst queer ever" according to them in the sense I dont conform to the stereotypes they would have had until I came out. Its always said with affection!

hdowney

Conformation. I don't get why people are EXPECTED to conform to preconceived notions. In this day and age!

DazMarz

NSFW!!!

http://cheezburger.com/6471012096

Very funny image... the scorebar at the bottom of the screen makes it look very much like... well... see for yourself...:p