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The Funny Side of not being straight.

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    #302
    stephen_n
    Registered Users Posts: 12,920 ✭✭✭✭stephen_n


    figs.jpg


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    #303
    brokenice
    Registered Users Posts: 161 ✭✭brokenice


    I went to see Magic Mike a few days ago...hot stuff!

    Usher: Ticket please...why did you come to this film, it's nothing but naked men.

    Me: I heard there's a lot of hot ass in it.

    Usher looks at ground embarrassed and points to my seat.

    A bunch of girls behind me started pissing themselves laughing. We spent the trailers talking about Channing!


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    #304
    DazMarz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    ^^^^^^^ haha...

    I'd actually love to go see that film, but a guy going into that film alone would look a little bit funny, no? Maybe if I could convince one of my female friends to go with me... that way we both get to oggle everything and there's no surly ushers or nosey cinema-goers getting on my case. hahahahaha


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    #305
    brokenice
    Registered Users Posts: 161 ✭✭brokenice


    DazMarz wrote: »
    ^^^^^^^ haha...

    I'd actually love to go see that film, but a guy going into that film alone would look a little bit funny, no? Maybe if I could convince one of my female friends to go with me... that way we both get to oggle everything and there's no surly ushers or nosey cinema-goers getting on my case. hahahahaha

    just go...it's worth it for the ass!


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    #306
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    brokenice wrote: »
    DazMarz wrote: »
    ^^^^^^^ haha...

    I'd actually love to go see that film, but a guy going into that film alone would look a little bit funny, no? Maybe if I could convince one of my female friends to go with me... that way we both get to oggle everything and there's no surly ushers or nosey cinema-goers getting on my case. hahahahaha

    just go...it's worth it for the ass!


    Definitely. Can't wait for the directors cut DVD!


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    #307
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    Nobody dares to go near your Internet search history!


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    #308
    DazMarz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    1ZRed wrote: »
    Nobody dares to go near your Internet search history!

    "In Private" browsing... the best thing since sliced bread... :D:P


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    #309
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Top tip for any closet folks who want to visit gay support websites:

    Set your browser to always be inprivate browsing mode:

    1.Drag the Internet explorer/Firefox/Chrome icon from the start menu onto the desktop to create a shortcut

    2.Rightclick this new shortcut and select properties

    3.In the target textbox add the text -private or -incognito and click apply,then ok.

    for example

    "C:\Program Files\Internet Explorer\iexplore.exe" -private
    C:\Users\JoeSoap\AppData\Local\Google\Chrome\Application\chrome.exe -incognito
    "C:\Program Files\Mozilla Firefox\firefox.exe" -private

    4.right click the shortcut and click pin to start menu

    Viola no more internet history!!!

    PS you can also set ie to "delete browsing history on exit" in internet options for when you use the regular windows


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    #310
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    back on topic:

    When a guy is telling you,how he finds some girl hot and probably thinks you're jealous/offended but in reality you agree with him.


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    #311
    Davyhal
    Registered Users Posts: 455 ✭✭Davyhal


    Out on Saturday night with a group of mates, and one of the lads got a call and had to go meet his housemate. At this time his girlfriend was quite intoxicated on the dancefloor and was getting a bit graphic. Exchange by the door took place as follows:

    N: "Hey man, thank God I've found you. I need to ask you a huge favour."
    Me: "Yeah sure man, what is it?"
    N: "I have to run up town for a while, do you mind spending the night on the dancefloor grinding my girlfriend raw so that nobody tries her while I am gone? There's a pint in it for you."

    He says in the blink of an eye I was on top of his girlfriend in the most graphic dancing he has ever seen, and that it really put his mind at ease...


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    #312
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    I can drunkenly sing rude boy and feel no shame! :pac:


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    #313
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    1ZRed wrote: »
    I can drunkenly sing rude boy and feel no shame! :pac:

    You should feel shame!


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    #314
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    floggg wrote: »
    You should feel shame!

    Ahh you're no fun man. I think I'm allowed to break my masculine image while downing shots of vodka every now and again ;)


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    #315
    Davyhal
    Registered Users Posts: 455 ✭✭Davyhal


    1ZRed wrote: »
    Ahh you're no fun man. I think I'm allowed to break my masculine image while downing shots of vodka every now and again ;)

    Vodka is for women... Real men drink pints... and paint thinner...


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    #316
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    Davyhal wrote: »
    Vodka is for women... Real men drink pints... and paint thinner...

    I normally drink pints of cider and if I'm feeling like a real fucken lumber jack, I break out the WD40


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    #317
    jaydoxx
    Registered Users Posts: 334 ✭✭jaydoxx


    Davyhal wrote: »
    Real men drink pints... and paint thinner...

    So vodka's fine to drink then:p.
    And extra man points if you drink a pint of it:D


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    #318
    stephen_n
    Registered Users Posts: 12,920 ✭✭✭✭stephen_n


    transformer.jpg


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    #319
    Barna77
    Registered Users Posts: 3,271 ✭✭✭Barna77


    So I was out last night, had a few, had a laugh. Then this drunk straight guy begins talking to me in Italian :confused: why? I don't know... When he asked me what I was looking at (this is me looking at the other end of the bar), my answer, "That guy over there". He went silent and walked away :D


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    #320
    BBDBB
    Registered Users Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    Great thread, its had me in stitches, thank you.



    Im straight, but my cousin Seamus is gay, very camp, very witty and an absolute riot.

    We were at a family wake, funeral over, lots of emotion, tears and hugs, you know the drill and we'd gone back to the house. We are in the living room, my mum, my aunts are all sat on the sofas and chairs, best china cups for tea very prim and proper discussing the lovely service etc

    Im sat on the floor, as is a couple of my younger toddler cousins, one of whom goes over to the coal bucket and picks out a lump of coal and does what kids do, sticks it straight in his mouth. A couple of the auld biddies spot this and tell me to get the coal off him, as Im getting up to go over, my cousin Seamus leans down, takes the coal and says in his campest voice, "never put anything in your mouth, unless it has a pulse"..............., I got a fit of the giggles laughing and the faces of my mum and aunts (think 3 women in a row sucking lemons) was something that still makes me start laughng today. maybe you had to be there :)


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    #321
    Richie15
    Registered Users Posts: 475 ✭✭Richie15


    Realised about two weeks ago that I'm bi. Been coming out to most of my friends individually since then, all pretty funny stories but this has to be my favourite!

    I was over with my friend and her boyfriend for coffee. We'll just call them Her and Him. Anyway...

    Me: So, wanna hear my news?
    Her: Go on then.
    Me: Was out the other night... Pulled!
    Her: Ahh right.
    Me: You not gonna ask me about him?
    Her: Nope. Wait, what?
    ...<I'll leave out the boring part where I explained how I realised.>...
    Him: Have you told your parents yet?
    Me: No*, not sure how to bring it up...
    Him: Just walk into the house in a One Direction T-Shirt, you won't have to say anything! :p

    *Incidentally, I still haven't figured that part out.


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    #322
    wonderfulname
    Registered Users Posts: 3,943 ✭✭✭wonderfulname


    tumblr_ma8kn7VnNb1qhurldo1_400.png

    It's in your head now, isn't it?


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    #323
    Sir Pompous Righteousness
    Closed Accounts Posts: 437 ✭✭Sir Pompous Righteousness


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sAKp7-71aw


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    #324
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    6lzj.jpg


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    #325
    Petey89
    Registered Users Posts: 198 ✭✭Petey89


    i thought this was funny thinking back on it now, after months of depression my mam finaly had me corned when i was driving her home one night and wouldnt stop asking me what was wrong so i just blurted it out those two words "im gay" then she started crying an i was ****ing it thinking im guna be kicked out of the family, then she turns to me an says "im so happy i thought you were like your brother an got some young one pregnant" i laughed after that but i made her promise she wouldnt tell my farmer dad until i was ready or anyone else, so we got home this was about 1 in the morning and i said it to her again not to tell anyone an she agreed, we were only in the door and she ran into her room where my dad was asleep she woke him up an told him "its ok no ones pregnant he just gay" my dad still half asleep just replied "oh that great as long as hes happy" and went back to sleep then she rang my sister and my aunt and before i knew it i was fully out of the closet lol,
    Im glad now she wasnt able to keep a secret or my dad probably still wouldnt know.


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    #326
    eaglach
    Registered Users Posts: 223 ✭✭eaglach




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    #327
    Vojera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,812 ✭✭✭Vojera


    Courtesy of George Takei's Facebook page: linkie


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    #328
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,814 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    I laughed at this article a lot

    http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/why-should-i-be-allowed-to-marry-i-chose-to-be-gay-8343884.html

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #329
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    Not nearly as funny as everything else in this thread but I always find it amusing when I'm out clubbing with friends and me and one of my male friends end up hitting on the same girl. One time, I ended up kissing this girl and then later on my male friend was dancing up against her and I was like "hey, I did all the work here, find your own girl" :pac:


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    #330
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    Nothing better than watching the hot chick you've been flirting with totally blank some guy who thought he was totally in and he sees her winking at you. (Obviously i'm a taken woman so it never goes further but still!!!)


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    #331
    Soldering_Iorn
    Registered Users Posts: 169 ✭✭Soldering_Iorn


    The funniest for me is when I'm out in a club and I get chatting to a girl (I tend to chat to EVERYONE on a night out!). Now this girl obviously assumes I want something, typical stuck up, 'I'm sh*t hot' attitude - little do they know that I really don't and that I'm stood there eyeing up her male acquaintances!

    Hilarious for me! :D


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