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Homophobia, Homosexuality and Men
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,112 Mod ✭✭✭✭
Join Date:Posts: 59041
Most of the studies Ive read on the subject found men tended to be at one end or the other. The middle ground wasnt particularly weighted at all. The research and others like it that iptba referenced that seemed to show women were more "in the middle". I could see how if both genders were merged then it would show a more middle bias. As an interesting aside it also showed that women were more visually sexual than men than the prevailing notion has it. They just didnt report it(or maybe conscious of it). Indeed in one study women were aroused by bonobo chimps sexual behaviour. Like iptba's link says, men were aroused by their preference and that tended to be gay or straight. If men were more in the middle in general then you would expect them to be more like the womens results.Sexuality isn't a binary system. Sexuality is actually a spectrum with each individual at their own place along it. If you imagine a scale from 1 to 6 with one being exclusively heterosexual and 6 being exclusively homosexual, then I'd probably be a 4 at this point in time. Most people fall into the middle somewhere few are at the extremes. Thats not me saying it, it's backed up by in-depth research.
I would say for bi people that's true. For gay or straight men who they want to have sex with is their sexuality. Of the gay guys Ive known even the thoughts of being with a woman are in the eeuuuugh zone. Pretty much identical to the take of straight guys if thinking about being with men. Then again that could well be down to me only knowing men at either end of the scale you describe.Additionally, sexuality isn't just about who you have sex with.
I get on with my male mates more than most of my exes, so I can see your point. OK Thought experiment. Thinking back on the exes I got on the most with, if one of them went away and came back after gender reassignment surgery? No matter how much I got on with them or loved them, I would not sleep with them again. I do know of a guy, who was very confused about his sexuality and labeled himself as gay, but later realised he was transexual. So she had the surgery and became a woman. Gay men didnt want to know and yet beforehand she had a full sex life as a "gay" man. So I do think it works on both sides.Best way to think about it is that for a lot of people they simply have a strong (maybe very strong) preference for one gender over the other. How many of your guys genuinely get on better with your best mate then you do your girlfriends? It was true for me, at which point I realised I didn't care that much about gender when it came to finding the right person to be with.
I do agree there are a lot of grey areas. I do think too that there are more bi people out there. More than straight society thinks but less than bi society thinks if you know what I mean.
The bi thing somewhat fascinates me. My understanding is that they fall for/are attracted to someone first regardless of gender and the sexual tags along on that. Kinda like you describe. I think it fascinates me because of how a guy I knew came out to me when I was young. TBH I was a bit eh what? He put it to me that imagine I lived in a world where the "norm" was being gay. I'd still be into women. I may have to try and pass as gay for appearnces sake, but I would still be into a different thing. Which made perfect sense to me personally. The bi thing doesnt though. I can understand the preference one way or the other but not both. Dunno if Im explaining that well though.
Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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Bi people are just attracted to people of both genders, what's so hard to understand?The bi thing somewhat fascinates me. My understanding is that they fall for/are attracted to someone first regardless of gender and the sexual tags along on that. Kinda like you describe. I think it fascinates me because of how a guy I knew came out to me when I was young. TBH I was a bit eh what? He put it to me that imagine I lived in a world where the "norm" was being gay. I'd still be into women. I may have to try and pass as gay for appearnces sake, but I would still be into a different thing. Which made perfect sense to me personally. The bi thing doesnt though. I can understand the preference one way or the other but not both. Dunno if Im explaining that well though.
Also, I don't see how anything you said in between "The bi thing somewhat fascinates me" and "The bi thing doesn't though" explains why you don't understand bisexuality at all...
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fonecrusher1 wrote: »Wrong.
How about?
Most people are saying they dislike when anyone (regardless of sexuality/race/religion etc) is:
No, that wasn't said by anyone.Most of the studies Ive read on the subject found men tended to be at one end or the other. The middle ground wasnt particularly weighted at all. The research and others like it that iptba referenced that seemed to show women were more "in the middle". I could see how if both genders were merged then it would show a more middle bias. As an interesting aside it also showed that women were more visually sexual than men than the prevailing notion has it. They just didnt report it(or maybe conscious of it). Indeed in one study women were aroused by bonobo chimps sexual behaviour. Like iptba's link says, men were aroused by their preference and that tended to be gay or straight. If men were more in the middle in general then you would expect them to be more like the womens results.
Yes, most people will be towards one end or the other. Yet a significant number (~25%) of people will have mild to strong bi-sexual tendencies at some point in their life.I would say for bi people that's true. For gay or straight men who they want to have sex with is their sexuality. Of the gay guys Ive known even the thoughts of being with a woman are in the eeuuuugh zone. Pretty much identical to the take of straight guys if thinking about being with men. Then again that could well be down to me only knowing men at either end of the scale you describe.
Depends on how you define your sexuality. For myself sexuality encompass physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual attractions. Often the least important aspect will be the physical side of things since physically I'm capable of being attracted to a wide range of people but the ability to make other forms of connections restrict potential partners. For instance, if I don't feel there's the foundation for an emotional connection to someone, nothing will ever happen between us.
I don't think I'm that out of line with the rest of the population. You'll hear people refer to a sexual encounter as just sex making a clear distinction between sex and sex with meaning. All this ties into sexuality. You're straight but do you really think your sexuality is the exact same as that of other guys who sleep with women, or would you say its unique to you?I do agree there are a lot of grey areas. I do think too that there are more bi people out there. More than straight society thinks but less than bi society thinks if you know what I mean.
I think most people have a strong preference but given the right circumstances and the right person, may be willing to try something out something which isn't in-line with that preference. Thats not to say they are bisexual, just that they experience a "Why not" phase as I call it. You'd be amazed the number of people who fit into this category.The bi thing somewhat fascinates me. My understanding is that they fall for/are attracted to someone first regardless of gender and the sexual tags along on that. Kinda like you describe. I think it fascinates me because of how a guy I knew came out to me when I was young. TBH I was a bit eh what? He put it to me that imagine I lived in a world where the "norm" was being gay. I'd still be into women. I may have to try and pass as gay for appearnces sake, but I would still be into a different thing. Which made perfect sense to me personally. The bi thing doesnt though. I can understand the preference one way or the other but not both. Dunno if Im explaining that well though.
I'd actually say I'm somewhere between Bi-sexual and Pan-sexual. It's why I'm reluctant to use labels.0 -
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,112 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Join Date:Posts: 59041
Gotcha.Depends on how you define your sexuality. For myself sexuality encompass physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual attractions. Often the least important aspect will be the physical side of things since physically I'm capable of being attracted to a wide range of people but the ability to make other forms of connections restrict potential partners. For instance, if I don't feel there's the foundation for an emotional connection to someone, nothing will ever happen between us.
True enough. I suppose I could never imagine the meaning over writing the gender I suppose? Funny enough though I tend to ascribe meaning even to a one off encounter(albeit a forced meaning)I don't think I'm that out of line with the rest of the population. You'll hear people refer to a sexual encounter as just sex making a clear distinction between sex and sex with meaning. All this ties into sexuality.
Good point. Very. Yep I would say though broadly "average" it would be unique to me yea. Not getting off on two women going for it for a start.You're straight but do you really think your sexuality is the exact same as that of other guys who sleep with women, or would you say its unique to you?
Gotcha.I think most people have a strong preference but given the right circumstances and the right person, may be willing to try something out something which isn't in-line with that preference. Thats not to say they are bisexual, just that they experience a "Why not" phase as I call it. You'd be amazed the number of people who fit into this category.
Understandable.I'd actually say I'm somewhere between Bi-sexual and Pan-sexual. It's why I'm reluctant to use labels.
Cheers for your unique take. I may be wrong but I have noticed in my convos anyway in both the straight and gay community, bisexuals are often looked at a bit sideways. More than exclusively gay people anyway. Both sides can accuse them of being "don't know what they want/are covering up their real sexuality" types. Bisexuality can appear to be the odd one of the bunch.
So good to get a better angle I think.Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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I mean you could say why do gay couples want marriage. Heterosexual marriage is largely appropriate to bring up kids and share resourses.
Gay marriage monogamy and sharing resourses. Why not.
I'm not quite sure what you are asking me, if anything? Are you asking me what is the point of Gay couples wanting marriage? A more liberal use of question marks in your posts would help
Equality would be one. There's no reason such a freedom should be allowed one group and not another. Like Boston said, there are also a myriad of financial and legal benefits to marriage. Then there is also the symbolism of it, which is important to people.
Children are only 1 of the factors involved in why 2 people would get married. Plenty of people marry and never have children.0 -
Its been a while Goduznt -how are you.
I was teasing you about Nietzche
I didnt think it was any harm to raise the marriage issue as gay people have the same hopes and aspirations of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness as everyone else. Which I am sure you agree on.Weyhey - we finally agree on something.0 -
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