Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

jammstarr

nesf wrote: »

Completely and utterly normal in your position. What we're all saying to you is from experience we know these feelings are incorrect and a product of the illness rather than anything rational or realistic.

Depression fundamentally interferes with your ability to rationally view the world, what you think now isn't realistic in many respects, that's part and parcel of the illness. The trick is not to get sucked into it and not get trapped in a spiral of negative thinkings (nearly bloody impossible to manage most of the time).

We say all this stuff to you not because you'll agree with it now but because despite how you're feeling you need to hold onto it like a mantra and make it a matter of faith rather than reason. It's impossible for you to agree that you'll recover right now but that doesn't mean you can't hold out (what seems like) irrational hope.

Fantastic post nesf

starviewadams

nesf wrote: »

Completely and utterly normal in your position. What we're all saying to you is from experience we know these feelings are incorrect and a product of the illness rather than anything rational or realistic.

Depression fundamentally interferes with your ability to rationally view the world, what you think now isn't realistic in many respects, that's part and parcel of the illness. The trick is not to get sucked into it and not get trapped in a spiral of negative thinkings (nearly bloody impossible to manage most of the time).

We say all this stuff to you not because you'll agree with it now but because despite how you're feeling you need to hold onto it like a mantra and make it a matter of faith rather than reason. It's impossible for you to agree that you'll recover right now but that doesn't mean you can't hold out (what seems like) irrational hope.

Great post!

WalterMitty

Kaching wrote: »

Maybe it is Ive given 100% to everything Ive tried to make myself better ... nothing just seems to work . I feel maybe im not meant to be better

That guilt type feeling of deserving suffering is just a symptom of depression as pointed out above. Your brain trys in its irrational state to rationalise why you are feeling so bad. It will pass.

bob50

Hi Everyone I have been suffering with Depression & anxiety
over the last 10 years or so and currently on Anti Ds i am just asking has anyone with simalar problems ever been admitted to hospital for say 1 or 2 weeks

and getting yourself sorted out Im thinking of asking my doc could he refer me to St Patricks in Dublin as i have the insurace to cover it

Maybe then i could get intensive treatment in one go so to speak

any help on this will be greatly appreciated

neemish

have been in hospital three times in the past few years - first time was longer (12 weeks), I let it go too far and couldn't get back from where i was.

The other two times were more productive for me - about ten days each.

If this is your first time in hospital, reallistically go in with an open mind. Don't go in with a time limit (easier said than done, I know!), but just see how you are when you get there. If you're with a new consultant, it takes time to get to know them and for them to get to know you. and the same for nurses etc.

I was in John of God's - found it brilliant. i'm not saying that every day was good, in fact quite the opposite. But I found the staff great, and found it reassuring to be in a safe place when I coudn't keep myself safe.

As far intensive treatment? that has happened on an outpatient basis with a psychotherapist. I use hospital for crisis management.

RubyXI

Just realised I've been like this all my life. As a very small kid I couldn't talk loud to strangers. I wasn't scared of them I could never understand it. People thought I was shy but I knew I wasn't but I guess that it was all part of it.

jammstarr

phi3 wrote: »

Just realised I've been like this all my life. As a very small kid I couldn't talk loud to strangers. I wasn't scared of them I could never understand it. People thought I was shy but I knew I wasn't but I guess that it was all part of it.

I think I'm the same. Things got really bad at 18 but looking back over my early teens I can see myself as having a rough time too just not as noticeable.

nesf

bob50 wrote: »

Hi Everyone I have been suffering with Depression & anxiety
over the last 10 years or so and currently on Anti Ds i am just asking has anyone with simalar problems ever been admitted to hospital for say 1 or 2 weeks

and getting yourself sorted out Im thinking of asking my doc could he refer me to St Patricks in Dublin as i have the insurace to cover it

Maybe then i could get intensive treatment in one go so to speak

any help on this will be greatly appreciated

The staff there are very good, good multidisciplinary teams are set up, a good amount of programmes and similar for anxiety and depression and whatnot. Like any hospital can be very boring at times but people seem to get a lot out of it. Did a 3 month stint in there last year.

bob50

Hi nesf

Thanks for info I think i'll give it ago yes i know it will be boring and drawn out on some days but i think when there is a team of professionals on your case it might just be what i need Otherwise i feel i'm going to be slave to Anti Ds for the rest of my life and never been really ok

Cheers Bob

bob50

neemish wrote: »

have been in hospital three times in the past few years - first time was longer (12 weeks), I let it go too far and couldn't get back from where i was.

The other two times were more productive for me - about ten days each.

If this is your first time in hospital, reallistically go in with an open mind. Don't go in with a time limit (easier said than done, I know!), but just see how you are when you get there. If you're with a new consultant, it takes time to get to know them and for them to get to know you. and the same for nurses etc.

I was in John of God's - found it brilliant. i'm not saying that every day was good, in fact quite the opposite. But I found the staff great, and found it reassuring to be in a safe place when I coudn't keep myself safe.

As far intensive treatment? that has happened on an outpatient basis with a psychotherapist. I use hospital for crisis management.

Hi Neemish thanks for your your info

I think i will give it ago i know it mighnt solve problems. But hopefully when there are a team of professionals working on your case altogheter it might just help

Otherwise i feel i am destined to stay on different Anti Ds forever and never benn right

Thanks Bob

neemish

Anything is worth a try with depression. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I know that hospital has helped me alot, and I can manage my life better knowing that it is there as a back-up

cojack101

Feck these Friday nights at home alone are really a killer.

Kaching

cojack101 wrote: »

Feck these Friday nights at home alone are really a killer.

Id give anything to have a moment at home alone

cojack101

Kaching wrote: »

Id give anything to have a moment at home alone

I'd give anything to be in work.. under pressure & solving problems....

They let me stay as late as 7 but then they kick me out an make me go home.

starviewadams

Never been in Pat's myself (just been in the swift in James) but have an uncle who goes in there fairly regularly who says he finds it a great help.

stupidusername

why would anyone think this is a life worth living

starviewadams

I honestly dont know @stupidusername,I'm not going to insult your inteligence by spewing some hapy go lucky bs.

Only reason I'm still here is that I've a 16yo half sister who I get on well with and don't want to ruin her life by doing something finite.That can wait a year or two.

WalterMitty

stupidusername wrote: »

why would anyone think this is a life worth living

Because its probably the only one we'll have

Because at some stage in our lives, we found it enjoyable and fascinating and hope it can be again

Because we create meaning and purpose in our existence and our interactions with other people and/or the physical universe

Because even in our darkest times theres something,no matter how seemingly trivial, to keep us interested in living or hoping for the future

Because we love others who are alive too

Becausee even if we arent well we are still existing and battling our problems and not extinct.

nesf

stupidusername wrote: »

why would anyone think this is a life worth living

Other people are the best reason I've come up with.

talullah

Finding it impossible to get through a day at work without crying or spending the whole day with a lump in my throat on the verge of tears. What made it worse was yesterday i got in trouble because im always late, just cant make myself move and get out of the house on time, would rather be curled up in bed all day. Boss knows about my depression but dont think he understands it, mayb i should stop saying im grand when he asks how i am (asks me like a million times a day). ugh i hate this.

Kaching

stupidusername wrote: »

why would anyone think this is a life worth living

Personally I agree with you , and as soon as I'm gone I don't care who is left behind , yep that's me total selfish yolk

Princess Peach

Its worth living cause things can change for the better.

I thought that before many times but things are going good for me now. I'm living in Canada now and I love it. I've been pretty proactive in trying to make friends, which is a huge deal for me cause I used to be unreal shy.

I found out what about my life was bringing me down and I changed it. It wasn't easy and took me a long time but I got there.

This is a great thread but I do find that mostly the people talking here are the people who are suffering at the moment, and you don't hear an awful lot from the people who have found ways to cope. But lots of people have and you just have to believe that you will too soon.

Dundalk

Hi

New guy in this thread looking for a bit of advice. I'll keep it short. I'm 32 married with no kids. I love my wife and we get on very well. I suffer badly from social anxiety and have done for a long time. I'm in a telesales job and hate it. I can't seem to deal with everyday events, even small things send me into a panic attack. My wife is back at college and we are really struggling money wise, I get paid once a month and it goes on paying all the bills so I'm broke again straight away. I've been having suicidal thoughts although I don't think I will ever go through with it. I know I need counciling but can't afford it. I can't even afford to go up to the doctor. I have a constant tightness from stress in my chest that just won't go away and is do annoying and because its always there reminds me constantly of my situation. It's like I can't get away from it.

Can't talk to friends about it so I suppose that why I'm on here. Can anyone offer and advice? Any medication to take? I run a lot and did the Dublin marathon last year but that can't even shake it. Everyone, apart from my wife who is very supportive, thinks everything is fine and that I'm so happy.

Thanks in advance.

nesf

Dundalk wrote: »

Hi

New guy in this thread looking for a bit of advice. I'll keep it short. I'm 32 married with no kids. I love my wife and we get on very well. I suffer badly from social anxiety and have done for a long time. I'm in a telesales job and hate it. I can't seem to deal with everyday events, even small things send me into a panic attack. My wife is back at college and we are really struggling money wise, I get paid once a month and it goes on paying all the bills so I'm broke again straight away. I've been having suicidal thoughts although I don't think I will ever go through with it. I know I need counciling but can't afford it. I can't even afford to go up to the doctor. I have a constant tightness from stress in my chest that just won't go away and is do annoying and because its always there reminds me constantly of my situation. It's like I can't get away from it.

Can't talk to friends about it so I suppose that why I'm on here. Can anyone offer and advice? Any medication to take? I run a lot and did the Dublin marathon last year but that can't even shake it. Everyone, apart from my wife who is very supportive, thinks everything is fine and that I'm so happy.

Thanks in advance.

I found this book good: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Anxiety-Helen-Kennerley/dp/1849010714/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326623963&sr=8-1

Also there's: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Shyness-Gillian/dp/1849010005/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326623998&sr=8-1 (I haven't read this one though)

Waterstone's stocks them definitely, not sure about Easons. Might be easier to order them anonymously online though with the anxiety issues. On a serious budget I'd look to things like the above to try and get some help for myself. They're CBT style approaches, not as good as your own CBT psychologist helping you but better than nothing and private CBT can be bloody expensive.

Other than that, talk to your GP about getting put on the waiting list for the public system. Takes a fair while to get in but once you're in, you're in and you can start accessing services. Though you could be waiting a good while to get talk therapy though it from what I've been hearing. Free though!

For suicidal thoughts, ring the Samaritans or book yourself in for a meeting in Pieta house. Don't ignore these and assume it'll be fine, get a support network built up now in case you've a crisis point some night.


Finally, think about joining Shine or a similar group: http://www.shineonline.ie/?gclid=CJr5jZnt0a0CFQoY4QodBE2emA

Shine have some services running in Dundalk I believe which may be convenient for you and you might find peer support very helpful (some people do).

neemish

Hi Dundalk,

Fair play for being courageous enough to post. It's not easy to put your feelings out there and be so honest. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

I don't think there are any easy answers...there's no tablet or advice that's going to make it all go away today. But I know how hard it is to feel like that....it feels there's no end, and that there's no solution. For me, thats the hardest part of depression/anxiety....looking at a situation and thinking this can't be sorted. But that's the lie.


My own experience of anxiety is this...there are days when the thought of having a shower and getting dressed fills me with dread. I sit on the edge of the bed telling myself that this is not something to be afraid of. I hate making phonecalls, which is a problem because my work requires me to ring quite a lot of people! some of whom are pleasant, and some of whom are VERY abusive!. on bad days, to say that i have to force myself is an understatement. I get worried what people are thinking about me. I'm slightly overweight and I wonder if people look at me and say, God look at the state of her. Time seems endless. Weeks drag on and on. And other times I turn around and a month has gone by. My contract is up in June...I NEED this job, i NEED another contract. With my recent history of anxiety/dep, I wont be able to get another job.

I see a dr. and a psychotherapist twice a week. At the moment I can afford it, but a couple of years ago I relied on free services, all of which were very good.

i'm trying to stay away from concrete "do this, try that" because I hate when people do that to me! But being suicidal is serious, even one or two thoughts. That is saying "I'm upset/distressed to the point that I don't want to be here". And you and your wife need to listen to that.

girlonfire

Dundalk, I'd also urge you to talk to someone from Pieta House. I went there a few years back when I was experiencing suicidal thoughts and the support I received was incredible. You need support now, x

cloud493

stupidusername wrote: »

why would anyone think this is a life worth living

Cos it is worth living. No matter how hard the intial struggle is. 'It doesn't matter who fired the first shot in this war, all that matters is who will fire the last. And I am certain it will be us'

irishbipolar

Dundalk wrote: »

Hi

New guy in this thread looking for a bit of advice. I'll keep it short. I'm 32 married with no kids. I love my wife and we get on very well. I suffer badly from social anxiety and have done for a long time.

I struggle with social anxiety too. As you can see from my username I have bipolar disorder too. I am not sure how my Social Anxiety came about. I have a feeling as a kid it may have started then as I had low confidence, etc.

I had a session with my doc the other day and he said that because I have been suffering from bipolar for so long other additional illnesses develop as a by-product - social anxiety being one. He suggested Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

My social anxiety has got worse over the years. I don't work anymore and I have no social life. I am a recluse in many ways. For me that's the only way I can cope. It's not the right way. Nowadays the worse moments for me are when I go to the supermarket and I bump into someone I know - straight away I freeze and my throat locks such that I can't speak. All I can do is keep walking, pretend I didn't see the person. It must be a form of a anxiety attack. In 2010 I was doing group therapy and the same thing happened. I couldn't speak in a group situation - I had to drop out.

For me the reason why my social anxiety got worse was because I know I have a serious mental illness (bipolar), I am ashamed of it, and I feel I have to hide it. Somehow I feel the person I am talking to knows I am "odd" or I have a "mental illness". That sets off alarm bells inside me.

Recently I was back in hospital for a medication change and I feel alot better now. I feel better on the new meds. My social anxiety is still there to a degree but I am handling it better. (Just before Xmas I spotted a friend I knew from years ago and I actually went out of my way to talk to him. So I feel I am coping a bit better.)

I also went back to Aware and through the use of Beta-Blockers (presribed by my doc) I was able to handle the nervous feelings I get with social anxiety in group situations. I found Aware to very helpful. At the same time I did some more group therapy as a follow on from my hospital stay. Although I tried my best I was tense/nervous during these sessions and didn't really contribute.

(Also I did some CBT a few years ago - €100/hour. One of the first things the therapist got me to do was to deal with my social anxiety: I had to sit in a cafe on my own for 1/2 hour - I had to plead to be allowed bring a newspaper to read! Those CBT sessions didn't work for me. (But I was having problems with my bipolar at the time so that didn't help.) Maybe get a good CBT book?)

All I can suggest is:-

(1) CBT. There are loads of good CBT books.

(2) Acceptance and Behavourial Therapy (ACT). Mindfulness-based programme. (Mindfulness is a form of meditation.) Recommended book: "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris. Can get on Amazon or local book store. (Deals with stress, anxiety & depression.)

(3) Grow. Mixture of people with different illnesses. Went a couple of times and there were people there with anxiety alone. Meet for 1 hour and read from the Grow book. Cup of tea afterwards.

(4) Aware. I found Aware better than Grow (personal opinion) Session lasts about 1.5 hours. Alot more talking/interaction than Grow. But you need to have some form of depression to attend. Lots of people I met had a combination of anxiety & depression.

Dundalk, hope everything works out for you. Keep trying.

neemish

Crap day, almost glad tomorrow is Monday

nesf

Low all day, forced myself out for a walk and felt much the better for it. Still low, just not as bad.