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Lets all be anxious/depressed together.
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mumbling joe wrote: »Firstly Im not sure if this is in the wrong section, if it is, sorry, please move
Ok, so about 4 weeks ago I was diagnosed with depression (after about 2 years of the missus telling me to get it sorted), we are a family of 4, about to be 5 in a few days, am over the moon but i seem to be stuck in a rut and im getting nowhere and Im no support at all to my wife. Im turning everything into an argument and what I dont turn into 1 ends up as one cause we are both so highly strung at the moment.
Shes in hospital at the moment, only minor but still, a few days short of delivery date never makes things easy and Im at home with the vomitting bug minding the kids and I cant offer any support, I know where Im going wrong but I just cant stop it, I dont think Im a selfish person in general but im in a world of self pity at the moment.
The last argument was over me being tired while looking after the kids (in my head right now, im trying to defend myself but I know I should be just keeping stum to make sure shes as relaxed as possible) This is the one time I really need to be there for her and Im bitching to myself that shes not here (not physically) for me.
Thats me done for now, I really hope in the next few hours I can get my head sorted out cause its killing me that I can put her in such a bad mood.
Oh, and when was there an elephant in winnie the pooh (I wont even go into the whole thing of christopher robin being replaced by a girl called darby), its on repeat in the house at the moment.
Cheers
M
that is a very good thing, you are challenging your own which you have said yourself selfish thoughts! the next thing is to calm down and try not to lose the rag or score points with the missus. you love her, you are going to be a father again soon concentrate on that if it makes you feel good. also accept that making her feel good = you feeling good, then try hard not to get into silly arguements over silly things. stand back and ask yourself is this good for anything or both of us to be arguing over this and proceed as needed, from what you have said it will be difficult to do this but remember...if she is less stressed she feels better = you feel better
depression is all about knowing your triggers and adapting yourself and surroundings to dealing with these when you are not feeling so good. listen to the dialogue of what you are saying to yourself *this is a general point not aimed at you specifically
do you find yourself saying "I cant do that" "ah..Im stupid I should have.." "there they are.. idiot
, should have known they were there! :mad:"
things like this are negative and not good for the head, it chips away at confidence and self worth, these ones are more obvious ones but its the more subtle ones that get through undetected and do the most damage.
so try to learn to listen to your thoughts and 'catch' your self thinking negatively about yourself. then analyse it and see how can be changed and if it was justified and so on, you get the idea..
depression beater here Ive been through the **** these last few years and would happily trade with most people who are diagnosed with depression or who even think they have problems now and heres why
first was having difficulties with college [a normal thing, wait for it it builds..]
then a big car crash - out of college, grants all fcuked up - stress - injuries and so on.
then went back BAM! diagnosed with MS multiple sclerosis can hardly walk anymore 20 meters or so is my limit with a crutch, cant stand for long 10 minutes, constantly off balance, sex life out the window, women need to do more cant be that alpha male anymore in the bedroom. was very fit athlete before this and even then didnt feel life was for me..anyway. I have been VERY close to killing myself this last year.. to the point of major depression and hospitalisation in a mental hospital for weeks. mUCH better with that now thanks!, and considering how pointless I viewed life as before and being suicidal at times then dispite being super fit and strong and healthy I am AMAZED and SOOOOOOOOO pround of how I have dealt with this massive change to my life. what I wouldnt give to have my old life back again, to just walk without having to look at the ground in front of you and like you are down a steep hill. to make eye contact with the person who is walking beside you as you talk. you get the idea
if you cant see a way out of the forest then you cant find your way out
and if you dont know why you keep getting lost, you cant start to find the path out.
think about it. think what really matters. you only get one life. this is not a rehearsal. you need to die trying and NOT while giving up!
now there are going to be a at least a few people who are going to diasagree with this, and fight it, and say but you have no idea blah blah
it is going to alot harder for them to find their way out of their forest, but it can be done it will just be harder for them. but it probably wont if they dont change something about their personality and general perspective on life and what matters and why and all the rest - these people are the most resitant to change so thats another hurdle..anyway try it YOU'RE WORTH IT !
to the others? go for it, build relationships, deeper ones, trust yourself think and analyse, it will take time, but its worth it isnt it?
you only get one life. I would probably kill for your health and levels of normality, I can hardly sit up out of bed for long, like I say I will be getting a wheelchair soon a powered one btw, parts of my body constantly ache, and are clumbsy now. all my friends were athletes like me, I had to leave them, was too painfull to stay knowing my life was changed massively and theirs just carried on as if nothing had happened!
make me feel less jealous of your life and relative normality, if some of you can earn that health and fitness which I dont have now but lots of you posess. basically you dont know how **** things can be REALLY! regardless if you have it **** now, be assured I would trade places with you warts n all. If you already have MAJOR health problems then less so..but Im pretty sure I would trade MS for ANY OTHER ILLNESS!!! - terminal cancer included
Ill enjoy what time I have left to enjoy.
Im free in many ways, free of the general life BS BECAUSE I DONT LET IT AFFECT ME!!!!! and thats the key. your perception.0 -
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quicksnap i would see your councellor no you wouldnt be wasting anyones time at end of day they are they to help you, try take a walk listen music try take your mind off it, i personally just listen music it works for me i hope this is helpful i have been there u will be ok x 0
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I'm fed up completely.
I went to my psychs office today (first day back since Christmas) to see if I could see her as an urgency. She told me if I was having difficulty with the increase in my meds to come back to her. They have slots every day the clinic is running for emergencies, so I assumed I'd get one of those.
After I told the secretary I didn't have an appointment her face turned to almost anger at me being there. I said I wanted to see my psych some time today if possible. She said oh she's gone.
She asked why I didn't call them instead of calling in, because another doctor can see me but they won't have my notes
I told her I was never given any number to ring. Everything was done with a hint of anger at me.
She seemed to make a big deal over the doctor having seen my notes, although as to why they've to study them before I get there is beyond me. So I just said another time will do. and guess what, the only free time any doctor has is next Thursday. A ****ing week away! It's a psychiatrist office!! what does someone have to do to get an emergency appointment!!
I'm so sick of this whole thing! when i saw my doctor before Christmas she gave me a letter to go to the psych casualty in the nearest hospital, but I couldn't go. the way the system is you'd either be ignored anyway, or strapped down to a bed.
Almost 9 months I've been waiting. And that's for a person who's admitted to feeling suicidal. no wonder the suicide rates are so high in the country.0 -
stupidusername wrote: »Almost 9 months I've been waiting. And that's for a person who's admitted to feeling suicidal. no wonder the suicide rates are so high in the country.
don't worry . you're not the only one feeling like sometime soon you're going to be a statistic 0 -
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